FacePalm Friday

Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.

This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).

We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.

Your Host’s Selections: This may be a world record for quantity…

(1)Olympian drank the birthfamily-bashing Kool-Aid

The blogger also gets an additional facepalm for having two idiotic posts on this subject.

I read these out of chronological order, so that is how I am posting it. I knew it was going to be bad with the title:

Yes, Olympic Gymnast John Orozco IS Adopted [Gossip On This 8/20/12]

As if any of this is the blogger’s business, she states “Now that the 2012  Summer Olympic Games are behind us, John Orozco has decided  to finally clear the air about his adopted status.” Why would he have to answer to you?

“Many spectators watching the Games wondered if John was the biological son of his Puerto Rican parents Damaris and William Orozco.

Even we became curious and did some digging around to see if there was more information on John’s adoption, which we shared in our previous story: “Is Olympic Gymnast John Orozco Adopted?”” Why do you think “many” wondered? Why did you feel the need to “dig” into his personal life?

“Given John’s Facebook post, it appears that some in the gymnastics community were right that John’s adopted status wasn’t exactly a secret.

If John and his parents ever feel comfortable enough to talk further about their adoption and how this impacted John’s life, that would be great.[Why?] For his part, John’s family life seems as tight as any other.” Are you that fragile that if you hear that an adoptee may NOT be “tight” with his adoptive family that the world may end?

Then she really goes off the rails: “Steve Jobs, the late co-founder of Apple, also struggled with the discovery that his parents were really his adopted parents. But like Orozco, Jobs valued the relationship he had with his adopted parents over his birth parents.” [Really? Does it make you happy that he “valued” in your uninformed opinion one set of parents over another?]

“Adoption doesn’t have to be a dirty word [???], so John and his family shouldn’t shy away from discussing it. Their family unity is an example for us all.” [Would that be the “unit” without his first family or…???]

John drank the KoolAid on his Facebook page and this blogger just loved this “In my book the REAL parents are the ones who raise, love, & care for you. Simply birthing a child does’t make you their REAL parent. The people who love you & will always be there for you are your REAL family.”

Her first post on the subject delves into how “dark” he is in comparison to his sibling and father. See here

(2) Domestic “Adoption 101” series

It is painful to read.

Part 1: http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/2012/08/adoption-101-a-tutorial-in-heartbreak/

Worst facepalm, part 1, last line: “Or so I plotted, thinking that if the lawyers could simply get off their esquire asses, we could establish a budget, bring these repeated requests out on the table, get the family linked to much needed services, and I would stop feeling so oppressed by the gaping needs of this family I had come to care for in so short a time. ” The PAP is OPPRESSED!

Part 2: http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/2012/08/adoption-101-the-visit-begins/

I don’t think it would be possible to go into more intimate details of this family if she tried!Did you have to blog about what MEDICATIONS the expectant grandma is taking?

Part 3: http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/2012/08/adoption-101-the-visit-ends/

Here the PAP explains that she is a “trained social worker”. Good Gravy! That makes this series even worse! Part 3 continues revealing private information and mocking the potential birthfamily. They are angry with the potential birthfather for GASP asserting his right to be part of the decision. They cut out on the potential birthfamily.

Part 4: http://www.chicagonow.com/mary-tyler-mom/2012/08/adoption-101-final-exam/

Ends with an ad to help find a baby for them because they are just so great and their son needs a replacement sibling for their child who died.

(3)Andrea Poe Strikes Again

Adoption: from China to Vietnam, in search of my daughter August 21, 2012.

I asked Crabbina to share her initial opinion: “What the  is the purpose of this piece?” Great question!

Andrea wrote: ” Since I was a child, I believed my baby was in China. [LOL What the?] I had seen a TV show in the 1970s about the “lost girls of China,” the girls who were flooding  orphanages after the Chinese government had established its One Child policy, limiting families to a single offspring.” A TV show in the 1970s about lost girls? Hmmmm….yes…I remember in the 1970s how the media was allowed to roam around China and freely document orphanages and allow criticism of their policies around the world…

She excitedly tells about the bait and switch that she experienced “One afternoon, more than three years into the wait, an email from my adoption agency came in. “Although I know you are committed to adopting from China, Vietnam has just re-opened its adoptions and there is a little girl ready to be adopted right now,” it read.

Within minutes I shot back an email saying, “OK…send some information.” Instead of information, what the agency sent right back was a photo. And into my house came a glimpse of this little soul who would change me forever.””

Then she shares the province that she adopted from and appears to be proud: “There she was in a place called Thai Nguyen…” Check out the “anomalies” from that region that Schuster Institute has assembled here.

(4)Using Your Musically-Talented Children to Fundraise for Your Adoption

I hate to mention this because it will probably give some PAPs a new idea, but apparently it is in vogue to have your minor children fundraise for you.

This article is about the healthy, toddler girl from Congo that the family is fundraising for..

CORONA: Sisters perform to help family with adoption [The Press-Enterprise 8/21/12]

(5) Sibling Rivalry Over How Fast You Can Quickly Adopt Two Unrelated Special Needs Kids

Concord sisters add special needs children to their families

[Charlotte Observer 8/21/12 by Ciera Choate]

“Even after adopting their first two girls, Fisher and Waite  knew they weren’t done. All they had to do was convince their  husbands, and they would be on the way to adopting their second  child from China.” And they offer a retreat now, too!

(6)Rainbow Kids Soliciting stories to “advocate”

“We are seeking families who wish to advocate for waiting children bysharing their stories!”

“14,000 children once featured on RainbowKids, are now home with their families. So many more could find families if only we could reachpotential families. We have found that the greatest influence onprospective families is the personal adoption stories that they read on RainbowKids.”

Hmmm…She doesn’t mention how many kids were on her site who were not actually available for adoption, how many were still being parented and living at home…

(7)Lifetime Fundraiser to For Potential Birthmother Items Including “Educational Scholarships”

 Lifetime Adoption Foundation Annual Yard Sale Fundraising Event [My Auburn 8/22/12 by Lifetime Adoptions]

Don’t ya just love those faux “articles” that are actually written by the industry?

(8) Sugar-Coated Alison Dilworth (of DOS) Blog Entry on Hague

The Hague Adoption Convention: In the Best Interests of the Child August 2, 2012

Maybe she was delusional after a candy binge  and posted this? (I am just trying to give her a valid excuse for ignoring the filth that she is keenly aware of.) She says referring to a potential Chinese adoptee ” He will become part of a loving, permanent family, who will know all of the medical issues he faces and all of his history while in the care of the Chinese system before he joins them in the United States. His new family will be prepared to support and love him through the transition to his new home. Most of all, they will know that Lian is truly an orphan, with no family waiting for him, desperate to know if he is alive and well. ”

(9) Hat-tip to a reader: Oprah Sells Out Birthfather

Actually Oxygen, she is having HIS baby [iAdoptee 8/22/12] explains  that the “Oxygen channel featured a woman who openly admitted that two years ago she placed a child for adoption without the father’s consent. This same woman is now placing another child for adoption who was fathered by the same man. And she is once again doing so without his consent.”

(10) Hat-tip to a reader: Haiti adoption blog’s cluelessness of Vodou religion, diversity of practice and culture

http://mycrazyadoption.org/a-miracle-in-haiti-voodoo-is-not-a-fairy-tale/

It is not all

(11) The Original Collector, Mia Farrow, 20 years after “the incident”

She adopted another 6 kids after Woody for a total of 15 children! The Woody Allen-Mia Farrow scandal 20 years later [OMG! 8/22/12 by Lizbeth Scordo]

(12) Whiny Review of The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Disney Celebrates Adoption: Review of The Odd Life of Timothy Green [Patheos 8/17/12 by Bill Blankschaen]

“The Odd Life of Timothy Green brings value to the conversation not just for the heartwarming and positive portrayal of adoption (without giving away too much of the ending) but also for the anti-adoption prejudices it dares to expose. Comments from relatives of the Greens echo those heard far too often by families who are contemplating adoption or have already adopted a child:

 

“I thought you were trying to have a real kid – like one of your own.” And the oh-so-kind, “These kids have problems….” In truth, the film well portrays that it is the ones making such comments that have the real problems.

 

The only quibble I had with the message of the film was that each time Timothy helped someone see who they were – who they could be – he gave a piece of himself away. Certainly, it’s Biblical that helping others always requires us to give of ourselves. As Timothy puts it, “It’s what you do with gifts.”

 

Nevertheless, I winced at the message that using ones’ gifts is a zero-sum scenario wherein one person must always lose for another to gain. [Um…the child and original family DO lose in adoption and the adoptive family and hopefully the child gains something in adoption…sounds like zero-sum to me…]Jesus taught the opposite: it is in giving our life away, that we find it.[So maybe you need to stop equating modern adoption process with spiritual adoption!]  By letting go of ourselves, we gain the world. It’s a relatively small point and not one to distract from the core message that everyone needs to love and be loved. Especially every child waiting for adoption.” [Who says that they are waiting for adoption?Might they really be waiting for reunification with their family?]

(13)Match Complication Adoptive Family Circle post

Match Complication…Need Advice 8/21/12 So a PAP already thinks the unborn baby is his and could not fathom honoring the potential birthmother’s wish to name the baby. Though it appears that he “compromised” at the end, the comments are atrocious! Multiple APs and PAPs suggest that he lies to the mother and change the name. The entitlement just oozes from this post…