Today’s blog post is one I have been wanting to address for many years, and I’ve discussed it privately with friends and family. REFORM Talk is not a religious blog, but the issue of Christians and adoption is one that often troubles me. By diving into this topic, I want all readers to know that I do not mean to imply in this post that Christians have some sort of corner on morality–because I do not believe that at all. But given the overwhelming, and often vocal, presence of Christians involved in adoption, I feel the issue must be tackled.
A little background is probably in order. I am a Protestant Christian and an active member of a mainline church denomination. Over the years I have seen the very best and the very worst in fellow Christians adopting and working for the adoption industry. Unfortunately, I have seen more of the bad under the banner of doing “God’s work” than those who choose to do the right thing (which arguably can be difficult to sometimes ascertain in the climate and context of adoption–particularly international).
The most frequently cited Bible verse by Christians involved with adoption comes from James 1:27. It calls the faithful to care for orphans and widows. This is one that I and I think most Christians take to heart. However, many, many Christians who have adopted or who want to adopt have stretched this to mean that we are called to adopt children. Let me be very clear on this: unless there is a chapter I have missed, nowhere in the Bible are Christians called to adopt children. There are stories of people in the Bible who were adopted and there are references to people being adopted by God, but nowhere is the practice of formal, legal adoption–much less the commercialized form of child adoption we practice today–mentioned in the Bible.
“Caring” is not necessarily just about adoption. In some cases caring can mean bringing a child into your family and caring for them in that context. However, it should never be at the expense of another family or in a way that harms a child (e.g. trafficking for adoption).
Over the years, I have seen agencies market themselves as being on a “Mission from God.” They claim to know God’s will for both you, the person seeking to adopt, and the children they become so delicately responsible for. (Apparently, birth families either are not worthy of care or grace or they need to repent for the situation they are in–whatever that situation may be. Not exactly loving one’s neighbor, is it?)
However, a quick look at how adoptions, particularly internationally, have played out will show you that there is very little that resembles anything Biblical or Good. Numerous accounts in the Bible call for care of the poor as well as the blessedness of the poor, and special attention is paid to the downtrodden, the vulnerable, and children.
The Bible is also very clear on what Christians are not to do–which includes stealing and coveting.
It seems relatively clear, at least to this writer, that coercion of birth families for their children, child trafficking for adoption, child laundering, falsification of birth and other documents, and outright kidnapping of children for the purposes of adoption (and hence $$$ for all of those involved in making the adoption happen) are neither Biblical nor Godly.
In the positive, I have seen Christian adoption workers resign from their work and their agencies when the reality of what is going on hits them. I have seen Christian parents back away from corrupt and unethical adoption situations, often at great emotional and monetary loss. I have also seen ethical, child-centered adoptions happen, turning very bad situations into ones that end up working for all parties–the child, the birth family, and the adoptive family.
Obviously, I am not here to say each and every adoption is tainted and unethical. However, I have also seen far too few Christian families or individuals who made poor choices while adopting–or who found themselves in ugly situations–work instead to make amends for what has happened, or work to bring about a better ending full of God’s grace and love.
Given the numbers of adopting and adoptive parents who carry their cross around and tout James 1:27 while turning a blind eye to the corruption, the injustices, the sins (if you will) in the adoption industry, I wonder how there can be such a chasm between Christians in the adoption community.
And here is where I want to address the Christian community directly. I think it is past the time of being able to claim ignorance for what is happening right now in the adoption industry. Ten to twenty years ago there may have only been a sprinkling of information available, but now that just isn’t the case. There simply is little excuse to not do what is right. There is no excuse not to examine our individual motives and desires that allow us collectively to use the name of God to allow these horrendous practices to continue.
Christians need to look past the marketing and emotions in adoption. We need to get real and sort out the good from the bad. We need to stop making excuses. Not everyone will be called to become an activist or an advocate, but based on what my Bible says I can state with certainty that no one will be divinely inspired to blatantly disobey the Bible or God’s laws in order to adopt. Think about that and let it sink in.
Christians who are tuned in and in touch will know that there is no place for hurtful, harmful practices where children are concerned. The road to adoption can get confusing. Many of us will find ourselves in places we never knew existed. When we first discovered terrible fraud at the heart of one of our adoptions, it was as if the bottom fell out of everything we thought we knew about adoption. We were confused, hurt, and unsure of what to do next, but through prayer we were shown that we had no place being involved in this kind of activity. We knew that this was not God. God will never leave a trail of devastation in families in order to move children into adoptive homes.
I ask fellow Christians involved in adoption to think about this, to pray for guidance, and to seek answers in your heart. There, I hope you find answers that are reflective of the true work of God, not what much of the industry would have you believe.
REFORM Puzzle Piece
Thank you for this very thoughtful piece of writing