Tuesday Term: Child-Centered Placements

Adoption and formal child placement is supposed to be about children in need, but far too often it really isn’t about children at all–it is about the adoptive parents and their needs, wants and desires.

Even though we know we are often preaching to the choir here, it seems appropriate to tackle the subject of what a child-centered adoption might look like. So many poor placement practices persist that we will tackle this from the perspective of a best practice scenario–for the child.

A theme we highlight frequently here at our blog is that ultimately this responsibility lies with the adopting family. Too many industry representatives (aka “professionals”) are clueless; too many people involved in child welfare are callous and/or short-sighted. Their focus seems to be completing the adoptive process for the adoptive parents instead of trying to ensure a long-term adoptive placement success for the child. It is the child who receives the brunt of any actions taken by adults and so care must be taken throughout the process to optimize outcomes for the child.

In a child centered placement, a child will not be wrestled, coerced, or solicited from their non-abusive current family. This means any family, not just birth or first family. It could be a kinship family, or long-term foster family.

Greater educational opportunities and/or wealth should never be the reasons to move a child from one family to another. Child welfare entities and ministries should never tie access to aiding the current family to placing one or more of the children into another family.

Adoptive or other long-term placements should be chosen so the adoptee will grow and thrive. The practice of placing any child with any homestudy-approved family must end immediately. If an appropriate placement is not available, a child is better served by waiting for one. Placement decisions should not rest solely on intents of the adoptive parents. Note: Children should never be left to languish in unsafe care. However, we still believe the right placement should be made for a child in order for the placement to adequately meet the child’s needs.

In an older child placement, the child will have some say in whether or not they are adopted. Counseling should always be handled by a competent professional that is not employed by the adoption placing agency. Note: Competent. This means any counselor or social worker involved in explaining placement to the child should have no financial connection whatsoever to the placing agency.

An older child has the right to retain his or her name. If it is to be changed it should never be the choice of the new family, only the child. If the child is mature enough to understand the question, then this needs to be an option presented to the child.

A child-centered placement will always ensure a transitional period that takes into account the individual child’s emotional health. This period includes the adoptive parents proactively causing the least amount of disruption to a child’s lifestyle, including eating and sleeping habits (unless the child is acutely ill) even if those are not “healthy living” ones. A child should be given time to acclimate to a new environment, as well as to any new cultural and religious practices. This may mean changes for the new family in terms of foods eaten, lifestyle, and inclusion of the culture from which the child is coming from. An understanding that it is not abnormal for a child to dislike some to all of these key parts of lifestyle choice changes is important.

A child-centered placement will strive to make sure the child is as comfortable as possible. This can range from making sure familiar foods are available to making sure the child has access to people and comforts familiar to them, rather than overloading the child with unfamiliar activities. Slow introduction of each of these new lifestyle elements while acknowledging the child’s emotional state during this time is important for bonding and long-term well-being of the child.

In a child-centered placement, a child will only be escorted from one country to another by current caretakers or people that are members of the new family (not using an escorting service).

In a child-centered placement, the new family will take the time and effort to understand where the child is coming from. This can be from learning about and experiencing a foreign country and culture to understanding the differences between a child raised in a urban area and now being moved to a rural environment (although we consider any kind of move like this for a child to be extreme and to be avoided unless there is no other good option.)

Any and all information available about the child’s history should be sought out and made available to the child with the exception of difficult non-age appropriate subjects. Falsehoods and pretty lies are never child-centered. Children deserve the truth, as their adoption is part of their life story and no one has the right to tamper with it or make it more “palatable” because they are uncomfortable dealing either with the truth or the unknown. This could include former placements, institutions, first families, etc.

In a child-centered placement, resources and skilled professionals will be accessible and utilized to help the child move through past traumas. Even infants experience some trauma when moved. If the child is being adopted, the adopting parents should be able to document their preparation to parent *this* child and show adequate insurance coverage for possible resources needed, access to educational services, and anything else *this* child may need to succeed.

REFORM Puzzle Piece