November 4 Theme: National So Many FacePalms in Adoption Day
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday with extra entries since Adoption is a focus in the media this month.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
All You Need is Love and Five Kids at Once
The “honors” begin this National Adoption Month. This praise article once again promotes the lack of preparation and love is all you need myth.
“Hoffman says too often she runs into people who say adoption is not for them because they don’t have the money or time. But Hoffman says all you really need is love.”
Yes, money and time are quite important when it comes to adoption. No, love is not all you need.
“Two years ago, the family adopted five children from Ethiopia. They joined Stacy and Michael’s triplets and a child they had previously adopted from foster care. ”
They received the “MultiCultural Award.” They say, “We have fallen in love with a country that we never expected to do, sometimes we eat different food, Ethiopian food, it’s a little spicy for me but the kids love it. Adoption has just helped our family grow and our kids understand a world outside of what happens here in North Dakota.” They help others “incorporate new cultures” into their families. Good luck with that.
The You We Adore “adoption” book
On this Freudian-slip-named website Cultivating-Kids (Hmmm..sounds like harvesting), a gushing review of this new “adoption” book was shared.
Setting up the child for gratitude… “The You We Adore opens with these lines: “Our love searched the whole world for the you we adore. We longed to open our hearts to the one we were waiting for…”
Oh goody, just mask what really has happened:
“In fact, the word “adoption” is never used in the book.”
“While many books about adoption seek to help children understand the process of how and why they were adopted, The You We Adore takes a different, refreshing, and warm perspective.” Yes, how REFRESHING to NOT help the child understand how or why they were adopted. 
“He symbolically uses a long, red ribbon that circles the globe in search of the child to complete their family and fulfill the longings in the hearts of both the adopted child as well as the hopeful parents.” Well, I guess the red ribbon is better than a red thread
“Along the way, the ribbon brings its readers on an exciting adventure around the world, climbing with pandas and swimming with dolphins. In doing so, The You We Adore bridges global and cultural boundaries in its simple yet profoundly beautiful story of unconditional love.”Oh yay!Adoption is always good and always BRIDGE cultural boundaries. Hurrah!
Double-Facepalm for Article Title and Subtitle
This article is titled “Seven billion reasons to open our hearts and homes to adoption”. Yes, now the whole world needs adoption.
Subtitle “Adoption isn’t second-best”. The author seems clueless to why processes are long. “1) Streamline adoption processes and minimise waiting and processing times. This might be achieved by allowing properly trained and resourced accredited bodies to take on some of the applicant screening and assessment work. and “5) Provide financial assistance and tax incentives for adoption.” Assessing whether or not the children need a foreign home and have not been trafficked is what has caused processes to take longer and new ones added.Taking money OUT of the equation is what is needed, not giving the client more money so they can fork it over to the adoption industry who raise fees yearly and in step with tax incentives.
Offensive T-Shirt Fundraising Stretches to Juvenile Justice and Child Welfare
Adoptive parents have NOT cornered the market on offensive t-shirt fundraisers. A California fundraiser by police union members for fallen police officers sold this t-shirt
until the town became incensed.
Downplaying Corruption and Trafficking in Guatemala
Idiotic comment on Finding Fernanda excerpt from the Huffington Post. “I have an idea for your next book: how about something about the thousands of adoptions from Guatemala that were NOT fraudulent
A second downplaying here from an author of another Guatemala book wrongly assumes that ALL adoptive parents have integrity.”The Monahans have given her the name Karen Abigail, and likely had no idea that their daughter was stolen from her birth mother’s arms.” Well, they knew that the DNA did not match the “birthmother” who showed up and the papers were suspicious as told to them by the investigator that they hired. And they have known that the mother has tried to get her back for years.
International Adoptive Parents Are Waiting For Recognition Too!
From their plea Recognition of adoption shouldn’t leave out international families [Minnesota Public Radio 11/3/11 By Myiesha Taylor and William Schlitz] “The resolution eloquently lists 19 “Whereas” clauses pointing out the need for, and offering support of, families adopting. The final “Whereas” is the most moving to us:
“Whereas National Adoption Month celebrates the gift of adoption, recognizing the adoptive and foster families who share their hearts and homes with children in need, and raises awareness of the need for families for the many waiting children, particularly older children and teens, children of color, members of sibling groups, and children with physical and emotional challenges …”
Yet nowhere among those whereases does the resolution recognize the thousands of children and their families brought together through international adoption. ”
“Are those children and their adoptive families not worthy of recognition? Does the U.S. Congress not support families that have adopted internationally? “
” Yet denying recognition of international adoption does not achieve that goal. Every child deserves to be loved and have a family. Adoption is adoption. We should celebrate the creation of all new loving families, and not allow the creation of yet another division in our society. ”
Adoption is NOT Adoption when Trafficking, Coercion and Kidnapping are involved. Ask Loyda Rodriguez. She awaits the return of her child Anyeli.
Sometimes I just have to sit and shake my head and wonder how people can be so blind.
How about changing NAM back to only celebrating adoptions of "legally free for adoption" foster children…the original intention – you know to raise awareness of the "orphan" crisis right here at home?
Getting rid of all tax breaks for adoptive families (exclude foster adopt above and only refund actual expenses) and applying the Hundreds of MILLIONS due to be refunded or refunded, on family preservation for new mothers who really don't want to choose adoption but have no choice due to financial reasons only. That way the government which is chopping services to those who can least afford it, can benefit the most from that extra revenue stream keeping families together. I'm sure that is something everyone in the adoption community can celebrate right? Right? No?
Grumpy today.
I don't know which one is more worthy of a facepalm. I face palmed myself on every entry!