Exploring the Rationalization For Gross Immorality in Sandusky Case

Guest Blogger and adoptive parent Wary has been following this case from the beginning. Wary examines the perverse rationalization that occurs in many of these sexual abuse cases in his response to a public forum post.

The post appeared in Blue and White Illustrated Public Forum, November 7, 2011. Link here  and is pasted in full below, followed by Wary’s response

Original Public Forum Post
“Anyone condemning MM for not physically stopping Sandusky, plz read (long)

Think long and hard about the situation before you condemn Mike. Think long and hard before you pretend that you would’ve been the big hero of the day by tackling Sandusky and beating his ass to save the kid. Sure, we can all sit here as MMQBs and say how we would’ve stepped in and done something. I’ve heard people say, “There’s no frick’n way a 60 year old man would’ve stopped me from saving that poor kid.” But let me tell you, if you were Mike (or had similar circumstances as Mike), you probably would’ve done the same thing.

Imagine having the job Mike had as GA. He was now working for the people he played for and grew up idolizing as a kid. Every time he walked around a corner at work, there was a good chance he’d see a living legend, and not just Joe. Between the past all-American players coming back to visit and current and past coaches who hung around the football building, superstars and legends were commonplace at PSU. In Mike’s eyes, he was starting to make the transition from admiring fan/player to colleague. It probably wasn’t lost on Mike how good his GA position would look on his resume. Once he finished his GA position, he’d have recommendations coming from some of the biggest names in college football. Joe (the King himself), Tom Bradley (the latest PSU defensive genius), and another living legend in Jerry Sandusky…. a well respected philanthropic man who made Penn State Linebacker U, who mind you was still very visible around the program. How fortunate he must have felt to not only know these people personally, but work with them and learn from them beyond his playing years. He was on cloud 9, I’m sure.

Then imagine one night you’re simply going about your daily routine of running errands in places that are like a 2nd home to you. You are completely familiar with your surroundings…you know them like the back of your hand. Then, you hear something strange considering the time of day and go to investigate and see something you never would’ve imagined in your wildest dreams (or nightmares). You see one of those very living legends you were so proud to be associated with doing something so despicable that it immediately buckles your knees and sends a wave of reality doubting induced panic through your head. Your heart starts pumping 3 times its normal speed and you start to question your own sanity as there is NO WAY IN HELL you just saw what you saw. Your eyes HAD to be playing tricks on you. It just couldn’t be. You collect yourself enough to get out of dodge and start to process information. You don’t know WHAT the hell to do so you call your dad. You immediately go to your dads house and tell him what you saw. You are both in disbelief. You finally start to process exactly what you saw and still can’t believe it.

In one moment, you’re going about your normal routine picking up recruiting tapes thinking about how fortunate you are. And the very next moment you see something so vile and shocking that you soon come to the realization that YOU now possess information that in all likelihood will stain the reputation of college footballs most storied programs and most famous and successful coaches to EVER walk the sidelines. The man you idolized growing up, played for as a student athlete, and now work.

You and your dad agree that you HAVE to do something and soon. You will tell Coach Paterno the following day. Once this is done, Coach reassures you that you did the right thing. He has you infront of his superiors within 24 hours. As far as you know, the proper folks (the big wigs) from your beloved Penn State, people you know and trust, will handle it from here. You have absolutely zero reason to believe that they’ll do anything BUT the right thing. You’re heart broken about what occurred, but all things considered, you feel like you did the right thing.

You can be as critical as you want towards Mike from the point after it became obvious that the information he relayed was going nowhere, but to be critical of him IN THAT MOMENT is completely unfair, and anyone saying they would’ve done differently is quite frankly… full of shit

Wary’s RESPONSE:

This post would be comical if it wasn’t so sad. For context, it should be noted that it appeared on a bulletin board dedicated to Penn State football and populated mostly by fans. Regardless of the motivation, I think the poster is a good case study because one can find literally every type of rationalization for gross immorality. These include:

• Idol worship (for coaches & university)

 

• Materialism (keep job)
• Vanity & Status (seeking promotion)
• Discomfort (outside routine)
• Shock

 

 

These rationalizations were offered by the OP to justify Mike McQueary’s actions (or inactions) that day in 2002. According to the Grand Jury report on Jerry Sandusky, Mike McQueary, a then 28-year old grad assistant, heard slapping sounds coming from the showers. He believed the sounds to be those of sexual activity. He saw a naked boy, whose age he estimated to be ten years old. The boy had his hands against the wall and was being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky.

Mike McQueary, for reasons only he can explain, chose to quietly back away. He was witnessing a crime, but there was no rush to save the boy. Not even a “hey!” in the shower. No call to 911. The 28-year old McQueary instead sought counsel from his dad. From there, McQueary told his boss, head coach Joe Paterno. For reasons that are even harder to explain, the University did not ban the retired Sandusky from campus and call the police. Then for the next 8 years, McQueary witnessed Sandusky continuing with his children’s charities at Penn State facilities. The rest is a sad history because we now know that Sandusky has been accused of molesting more boys.

So if we come back to the five rationalizations I listed, are we asking too much of Mike McQueary? We’d be asking him to put aside his admiration of his past coach, possibly tarnish the university, risk his job, risk a promotion, break his routine and overcome his shock. No, it’s not asking too much when we consider the consequences.

But there are other facets of this tragedy. This includes a crisis of indifference when we read about children being abused or even tortured by “caregivers”. Many prefer to insulate themselves so walls go up to avoid the ugliness. I suspect Mike McQueary was able to compartmentalize the events of  that day as he saw Jerry Sandusky continue his life as usual. But there’s something else at work and it’s hard to put a finger on it. The Sandusky case aside, why is there a general lack of outrage when we hear about parents starving/freezing/burning their child to death? And worse, why are prosecutors and juries lenient in such cases? When a stranger perpetrates a similar vile act on a child, there’s only righteous fury. I suspect that some are so comfortable behind their walls that rational thought goes out the window. They tend to rationalize as the OP did. Did the child bring it on himself? It must have been an unfortunate accident. Our crime drama TV culture wants a motive for a crime (evil & sadistic is hard to attach to a caregiver). These “rationalizers” won’t let facts get in the way because the alternative is ugly.

And lastly, why do people treat sex crimes so differently than other crimes? There’s a cultural, and to a lesser degree, generational element at work here. We’re conditioned to treat sex as the quintessential private act. We inherently know the embarrassment of an unexpected intrusion. So how are we conditioned to cope with such an embarrassment? We pretend it never happened. Think of how you might cope if you opened a bathroom stall at work and you discover two colleagues having sex. I dare say that all three of you will try to avoid the subject in the future. I’m not equating consensual sex among adults with pedophilia. My point is our natural aversion to confront a sex in general, let alone a sex crime. The older we are, the stronger the aversion.

Furthering this point, I offer this hypothetical question. What would Mike McQueary’s response have been that day in 2002 if he witnessed a student attempting to steal football equipment? I suspect this athlete and former quarterback’s response would be immediate and forceful.

This may explain Mike McQueary’s initial shock but what about all the years afterward? He witnessed a serious crime. But did he really understand the gravity of what he saw? I believe he missed the essence of what makes pedophilia such a horrific crime. It’s the “objectifying” of the most innocent to an obscene degree. I believe the problem arises from the fact that pedophilia is at the extreme edge of the spectrum that includes lust, pornography and prostitution. All make another human being into an inhuman object that have no feelings. Such possessions can be used and discarded like a disposable razor. This empathy creates a fertile ground for more irrational excuses that may have occurred in the Sandusky case.

REFORM Puzzle Piece