It’s not even the end of the year, but we have already selected a winner and they outdo our Adoption Menopause couple . Congratulations and may the FacePalm be with you Michael and Mary-Jo Jackson…
Our definition of child collector can be found here. What qualifies a family for the award are RISKY BEHAVIORS along with large number. The behavior exists long before the number catches up to it. We have identified at least 7 behaviors from the information available.
Number: “Since their marriage 40 years ago, she has given birth to seven and the couple has adopted 27 children, for a total of 34.”
Collector Risky Behavior 1: “
Has a number of adoptees in the household that exceed the capacity of the parents to individually attend to the stabilization and treatment needs of the adopted children. Most foreign countries and many foster care agencies have limitations to the number of children in the household for a reason. They want a good outcome for the already at-risk child that they are allowing you to raise.” 
“Initially, they looked into becoming foster parents but were turned down.”
REFORM Puzzle Piece
“We were told that seven children (in the house) was too many (to qualify to foster any more),” Mary-Jo said.”
Collector Risky Behavior 2: “Adopts several unrelated children at the same time or within a short period of time. ”
Undaunted, they began researching adoption possibilities. “We were looking for special needs children,” she said. “Our seven had been normal.”
International adoption became the most productive path. In 1994, the Jacksons went to Russia and came home with Bryan.
Four months later, they went back and brought Rachel home.”
Collector Risky Behavior 3: “Focuses on adding to the family above stabilizing and effectively rearing the current children in the family. Purposefully adding to an adoptive family when the family dynamic is not stable or effective will harm both the current and new members. This behavior includes spending umpteen hours online looking for another child instead of tending to the ones already in the house. The child’s needs should be the focus, not the collector’s desires.”
“Once I saw the children in the orphanages, I knew that we couldn’t stop at adopting just one child,” Michael said.”
“The kids are so used to new additions to the family that “if a visitor comes to our house with a child, our younger ones want to know if we are adopting,” Mary-Jo said.”
Their FAQ on their website says “Q: Are you going to adopt again?
A: Our paperwork is in order for more adoptions. We need to find a social worker open to working with the One Huge Family, and children who would benefit from being part of our clan. Hopefully in God’s time this will happen!”
Collector Risky Behavior 4: “Has a martyr/savior complex. This means that the adoptive parent feels that they can handle any number of children with any amount of issues because they are “saving” the children. The idea of “saving” is put ahead of the actual responsibility to the child.”
The article says “The Jacksons would consider adopting more, “but with 20 kids in the house, no one is willing to give us any more,” she said, a little wistfully. “An orphanage is no place for a child.”
The Jacksons’ 27 adopted children include: Eleven from Russia; two from Kazakhstan; one each from Serbia, China, Vietnam and Korea; two from Romania; three from Bulgaria; and five from Texas (including one native Texas “good ol’ boy”).
“Michael and Mary Jo both are 60, but retirement is not in their vocabulary. Their youngest is only 8 and given the chance, Mary-Jo said, they’d be happy to adopt more.”
“Their latest adoption was finalized July 7 [2011].”
[Note: Kazakhstan required waivers to adopt if you have more than 4 kids and those waivers were rarely given. The website only shows 1 not 2 from Kazakhstan.]
Collector Risky Behavior 5: “Does not concern themselves with adopting out of birth order. The old concern about this was whether or not the older child would feel strange being placed in a home with younger kids or whether or not the current elder child would feel bad having that position in the family change. The new concern involves the risk of older children that have a traumatic and abusive background being adopted, thereby giving them a dominating position to abuse the younger children. Again, this has happened many times and devastates the family and community. This is a taboo subject that we will have a lot more to say about.
“The Texans are “re-adoptions,” Mary-Jo said, explaining that sometimes well-meaning adoptive parents become overwhelmed by the special needs of their children and end up having to surrender them. [aka disruptions]
Collector Risky Behavior 6: “Uses his or her faith to justify any or all choices about the number of children in the home. Fellow worshipers may often offer support without understanding what is really going on in the home”
Donna Leader, a volunteer at St. Mary’s, said “to see them in church is amazing; two of them say Mass in sign language the older children look after the young ones; Mom and Dad sit in a pew in front of them they all act like adults.” [But they are NOT adults]
The Rev. Steve Lintzenich, pastor at St. Mary’s, said: “They are a lovely family; it is exciting to have one family fill two pews. They sit up front they are well-disciplined, well-churched children so alive Michael and Mary-Jo show great example in bringing those children to faith.”
Collector Risky Behavior 7: “Allows children with known traumatic and abusive backgrounds or those at risk of having traumatic and abusive backgrounds to share bedrooms with other children. Physical and sexual abuse can and will occur. When it does, families are destroyed and children further harmed.”
“The family’s 6,600- square-foot house has eight bedrooms and 3½ baths.”
How the home operates
“There are daily and weekly assigned chores, he added. The children know there always are consequences to their behavior (no dessert; missing out on activities) it is important that both parents stay on the same page with that, the Jacksons agree.
Learning to share is critically important.
“We always come from the point of view that everything we teach the children is part of the information they need to be successful adults in our society,” Michael said.
Logistically, the only way the family with 20 kids in school can stay on track is by remaining highly organized. A really big bulletin board helps, Mary-Jo said. “I’d be lost without it!”
The family gets around in two large vans and a sedan.
Mary-Jo does “99 percent of the cooking the kids get breakfast and lunch at school, but we try to eat supper together as a family every night,” she said.
“I shop for food about twice a week; I scour the ads what’s on sale is what we eat there’s a lot of pasta and casseroles, fruits, vegetables, we have a salad every night and I love to bake, so we have dessert,” Mary-Jo said.Clothes are hand-me-downs: “Our kids think new clothes come in black plastic bags,” Mary-Jo quipped. “We save everything.
“We do get new clothes for the older kids so they can fit in with their peers, but thank goodness for school uniforms!”
“You have to be in high school to take a morning shower, otherwise you shower at night. Some of the littlest ones take their baths before dinner,” Mary-Jo said. “
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