FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
(1) Bethany partners with 16 and pregnant. I don’t know which is worse-them partnering with this show or the description that Bethany is ” the nation’s premier family preservation and adoption agency” Note how they now say they are family preservation first.
Um…they didn’t really preserve the family of the stars of the first season of this show, did they?
(2) Fairhope couple adopts 4 Chinese sons [Press Register 2/28/12 by Roy Hoffman]. I am sure our readers can point out many facepalms in this story. The three that stand out for me are how their child #3 came from an “advocate” blogging about the child, that their fourth child was an “add on” baby and that they are now in the process of adopting two girls at once. Six unrelated special needs children in a short amount of time. 
(3)”Adoption” needs to become a buzz word in the social lexicon of America
Steven Kurlander: “Adoption” needs to become a buzz word in the social lexicon of America [Sun Sentinel 3/1/12 by Steve Kurlander]
Lots of “adoption day” talk
“Any adoptive mother or father will tell you that the memory of the first day they held, hugged and began bonding with their adopted child is the strongest remembrance of fulfillment in a lifetime.”
“Adopting a child in the United States is still not socially a fundamental aspect of our national psyche. The word “adoption” is sorely missing from the social lexicon of our contentious reproductive politics. It is not on the center stage in American political discourse or public policy like birth control, abortion and the explosion of single-parent homes in the United States, which are always argued in hyperventilated social and religious contexts. “
(4) Int’l Adoptions Part 4: God’s Design for Adoption.
As if Parts 1 through 3 weren’t torture enough…
“”Like the Apostle Paul who made tents, I enjoy having the ability to earn my income through a source that is separate from my primary focus/ministry,” Luwis writes on the AWA website.”
Not sure which is worse, comparing himself to Paul or his happiness with making money in the adoption industry.
More strawmen questions: Why should a family adopt a child from another nation when there are still orphans in the U.S.? and As CP reported in Part 3 of this series, for some, it is important that an orphan be kept in or near their community of birth, or adopted by a family of their race or ethnicity. How important should that be?
More stupid answers: ” Culture and race is something that adults put on kids. There is beauty in different diversity, in food, dance, music, art, but people are still people. Love is not defined by race.”
More Marketing: “We convince people that, yes, God designed the world, it does work, kids are looking for moms and dads.”
More ridiculous framing of Ethiopia “CP: I heard that you’re working on a project to improve the adoption process in Ethiopia. Can you talk about that? [How about no more harvesting or coercion?]
Luwis: We’ve made some gestures to the Ethiopian government and they are interested. They want to improve their system. It’s not a lack of intellect or will, it’s a lack of resources. They don’t have the money, the number of social workers needed, trained people to do what is needed. So, private people have filled the vacuum and the government has allowed it.
It’s a third world country that is just coming into the modern age. It’s doing a great job even under the circumstances. Ethiopians are very determined, intelligent people. They care about their kids. AIDS is affecting so many people and they’re dying and they realized an institution is no place for a kid to live and grow up. They realized, we don’t have enough families here, let’s let international families provide homes for them.”
(5) County Accused of Blocking Adoption of Orphan [Black Voice News 3/1/2 by Chris Levister]
We often talk about how CPS errs on both ends of the spectrum. They don’t remove kids when they should and then on the other side, they don’t always make the best placements. In this case, the foster parents are relatives and have been raising their son for 16 months.
CPS is trying to block the adoption because the couple, who have been together for 28 years did divorce and remarry…11 YEARS ago. BUT, CPS says that the foster mother has an autoimmune disorder. They are educated, employed and the foster mother has her doctor’s clearance.They took all the extra required measures due to the red flag of the long-ago divorce and were abruptly denied to adopt. CPS then uses the excuse of “”It’s not about finding children for families. It’s about finding families for children that can take them through adulthood,” said Schulz.” This child ALREADY has a family who has been raising him. But CPS seems to be seeing this child as a great supply for the demand that foster/adoptive parents have for cute, happy and healthy young kids.
(6) She believes in the intent of Hague Convention BUUUUUUUUUT…
there needs to be “balance”,gotta have those waivers and about not having money to adopt? No worries. The “perfect” child will be there for you. Race? We are “one world, one human race and this matters more to me than “where” we are from. ”
And those selfless birthmothers…”And I have the utmost respect for the mom’s, dad’s and family members who have to bring their “babies” to the orphanage. Often times the children are older – I cannot imagine the pain of that decision. The pain for the family and the pain for the child. But those parents have hopes & dreams for their children… praying that they will get to live a better life than what they could offer. This is one of the most selfless acts a parent can go through… I can’t even fathom it.” 
It is exhausting to read this stuff in blog after blog…
http://wilkinsstuff.blogspot.com/2012/02/haiti-adoption-some-thoughts-i-needed.html
(7) Internet twin adoption “dad” cries over phone hacking and privacy as he is seeking an agenct and publisher for his “story.”
Flintshire phone hacking claim by adoption scandal man 
(8) Wisconsin Bill 507 emphasizing single parenthood as child abuse factor. We talk about child abuse factors in this post that explain the many other things that need to be emphasized.
Legislating this will just set up CPS to take more children away. 
(9) Adoption Fundraising is About More than Money from the for-profit MLJ adoptions blog by Bryce Wilks
“Finances are among the most pressing concerns for families pursuing international adoption. Many other relevant topics such as legal challenges, racism and emotional development are covered on this blog and others like it, but nothing makes the blood pressure rise quite as quickly as pondering what this process will do to the old bank account.
Your smileys are the BEST. They make me fall on the floor laughing.
Too bad what you're writing about ISN'T FUNNY.
I don't know how these people sleep at night.