UK Adoptee Story: Love is Not Enough When it Comes to Mixed-Race Adoption

“Anwen Lewis’ memories of being adopted into a white family are mixed – much like her heritage. The 40-year-old’s birth father is black Jamaican, her birth mother is white English but she is equally proud of her adoptive parents’ English/Welsh roots.

“My experience has been very positive. I get on well with my adoptive family and when I met my birth family I got on very well with them too and they’ve all met each other at my elder daughter’s baptism, but I think I’m unusual,” says Anwen who was adopted as a new-born after her 16-year-old birth mum was forced to give her up even though she was going steady with her boyfriend and went on to marry him and have other children.

“I should have been put into care until my mother was 18 and old enough to make an informed decision,” says Anwen, who lives in Rusholme with her 47-year-old partner Amechi Omeje and their two daughters Angelica, three and Serena, one. “

A couple of years in care would not have been as significant as a lifetime of racial issues.”

By ‘racial issues’ Anwen is referring partly to being brought up in a ‘Midsomer Murders’ style village where she was the only non white face and didn’t even realise she wasn’t white until she was eight years old.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against transracial adoptions, I was brought up in a very loving family.

But what I am saying is love is not enough – it’s not black and white – it’s not enough just to provide a child with a loving home if you’re a white family adopting a child from a different race. “

You have to take on board all the additional issues that this involves and before you can do this you need time and training.

“I didn’t start mixing with people from other cultures until I moved to Manchester at 19. My adoptive parents didn’t knowingly do anything wrong, they had always planned on having a big family and they adopted through a church society – like good Samaritans. They thought they were doing the right thing in adopting me. ”

But my adoptive family don’t understand what it’s like to be non-white. I strongly believe that it is not right to place a child with a family from a totally different racial and religious background and for their cultural heritage to be ignored.”

Lifting the barriers to mixed-race adoption is a key part of a radical shake-up of adoption laws announced by David Cameron last month to increase the number of adoptions in this country.

Shocking figures revealed that of the 3,600 under the age of one in care, only 60 were adopted in 2011.

And the government claims social workers are spending too long searching for the perfect ethnic match leading to black and mixed race children spending twice as long in care because there is a shortage of non white adopters. The government wants ethnic matching be a secondary factor behind speeding up the process and finding a child a loving home.

However, an Ofsted report into adoption delays published last week has flown in the face of popular thinking about social workers.

After analysing procedures at nine local authorities including Stockport and Trafford, the report concluded that it is lengthy court delays that are holding up the system rather than social workers holding out for the perfect ethnic match. On average the length of time taken by the courts to decide on the outcome for a child in care is 14 months.

Anwen’s view is that, in many cases, the adoption process is necessarily involved when it comes to finding parents for black and mixed race children because it is their right to have their ethnic and cultural background recognised and respected – even if this takes time. And she believes that it is better for a child to be in care – looked after by a loving foster family – than to be placed with the wrong ‘forever family’.

This is in stark contrast to the government view that adoption is the best outcome for children in care – the majority of whom have been forcibly removed from their birth parents because of abuse or neglect.

“Once a child has been placed with a foster family you have taken him or her out of that abusive situation – they are safe. They could stay with that family throughout their childhood but the government doesn’t want that because it’s too expensive. ”

I am in favour of well-placed adoptions but I wouldn’t put a time period on it. A forever family is just that – forever – it’s not a quick fix and just because the needs of a three year old are met doesn’t mean the needs of that child at eight, 11 and 18 and throughout their life are being met. We need proper vetting, it can’t be a case of ‘you’ll do’ otherwise we could set back positive changes made to the adoption process and that would be a disaster.” Manchester mum:

 

Manchester mum: ‘Love is not enough when it comes to mixed-race adoption’

[Manchester Evening News 4/10/12 by Deanna Delamotta]

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