Life Imitates REFORM Animation Studios as Teenaged Chinese Adoptee “Helps”
We base all of our animations on real-life scenarios. Our last video was the SNOT (Special Needs Opportunity Template) . Now one of those situations of a minor adoptee “helping prepare” potential adoptees in China is being posted in public.
And, true to form, a fundraiser accompanies it. See http://buscemichina.blog.com/2012/05/22/the-one-less-journey/
We discuss Hague implications of preadoption contact in this February 2012 post.
REFORM Puzzle Piece
Unfortunately, it seems to be pretty common for PAPs to apply all kids of pressure on the child they hope to adopt and have no qualms about shamelessly, unethically enlisting their underage kids to do so:
1) The lovely RR PAPs Tygart family was hoping to adopt a 16 yr old Ukrainian adult (as 16 is the age of majority in Ukraine) that was having doubts about about leaving her extended family to move to the US with strangers. The Tygarts charmingly had:
“Some of the girls in our area (in the US, where the Tygart family lives) who have been adopted from Ukraine are intending to write letters to our daughter to tell her about the things they struggled with. I think that is a very sweet gesture from the girls. I may try to get them to her tomorrow.”
The girl did not agree to be adopted.
http://tygartfamilyadoption.blogspot.ca/2012/04/wonderful-day.html
This isn’t the first time the Tygarts have launched an impromptu PR campaign to convince a Ukrainian teen to agree to be adopted — they did it 2009 when they adopted their son (also from Ukraine) Josh.
The Tygarts “talked to him (Josh) about his adoption. He (Josh) told us that he and his family (Josh’s BIO FAMILY IN UKRAINE! THAT VISITED HIM REGULARLY IN HIS ORPHANAGE) were very suspicious of our motives for adopting a child when we already had three children. It was frightening to hear all of those horror stories about people adopting children and abusing them, locking them up, or even selling them into sex trafficking”.
The Tygarts convinced Josh (and his bio aunt) that they had “good intentions” and agreed to be adopted.
The Tygarts had to work REALLY hard to convince Josh they had “good intentions” an that he “had to reach a point where he could look forward enough to see (or hope for) the future that lay before him with a family to call his own forever”, ie that family is NOT his biofamily that he’d be leaving to live 5000+ miles away with the Tygarts in the US (!!!!). Josh sometimes writes letters to orphans in Ukraine to tell them why getting adopted by Americans is a good idea too!!
Why why why do PAPs do this?? This is a kid with a family that he loves and sees regularly in Ukraine!! What kind of person thinks this kind of coercion is NOT morally reprehensible?!?
http://tygartfamilyadoption.blogspot.ca/2012/04/rest-of-story.html
2) The PAP Curry family tried really, really hard to convince a nearly 16 yr old Ukrainian boy called Viktor that he should allow them to adopt him and move to the US — tried to sell him on the advantages of “church” and an American “forever family”. Their facilitator told them to keep pushing since “even kids who act up” can “eventually be reasoned with” and “eventually show some enthusiasm about their (new, American adoptive) family”.
So wrong. So unethical, this coercion – that the Currys are 100% oblivious to, since they’re too busy failing to see any of the reasons near-adult Viktor doesn’t wanna be uprooted and move to the US.
http://anothercurrykid.blogspot.ca/2008/09/heartbroken.html?m=0
3) This American AP adopted two special needs kids from Ukraine and has been “advocating” for those left behind — they went so far as to organize a “summer hosting” for a group of orphans. They were pleased as punch to have found a US family to adopt a boy called Kiril (who has CP).. and couldn’t understand why the boy turned down being adopted by Americans in favor of being adopted by his local art teacher (whose motives they questioned).
IMHO, Kiril getting adopted domestically is a good thing!! A positive sign — that Ukrainians are willing to adopt a Ukrainian kid with special needs!!
(Also, I believe a local organization provided the art teacher with a very small grant to make her home accessible to a kid in a wheelchair — along the lines of a ramp into the house and a roll-in shower — that was instrumental in making it possible for his teacher to adopt him, as the teacher couldn’t afford to make the renovations. If this was indeed the case, the grant-giving organization is one that I’d definitely want to support as it allowed Kiril to get a family AND to stay in Ukraine AND it probably cost a LOT less than the $30k the US family would have spent to adopt him).
http://mamaporuski.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/16-today/
A RR PAP is in Ukraine hoping to adopt an almost-adult called Andrey (nearly-16 yr old boy) who is unsure if actually wants to be adopted…
(Hint: perhaps RR and various bloggers should not illegally post a picture of a kid next to a caption that says “this boy wants a mama and a papa”, when, errrr, that isn’t necessarily the case).
… so an RR AP called Adeye Salem is reporting that when Andrey met his parents to be “things have not gone as well as we (PAPs, bloggers NOT the kid himself) have been praying they would. Today Andrey said NO, he DID NOT WANT TO BE ADOPTED” by Americans. Instead of respecting this reasonable request, Adeye’s rallying the troops to “pray for each of their hearts” and for Andrey to agree to be adopted since it’s what SHE thinks the kid should do since “adopting older children can be hard… these children know only the world inside orphanage walls”… and thus their wishes regarding NOT being adopted are obviously incorrect. Ugh.
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/05/urgent-prayer-request_30.html
Looks like Andrey (16 yr old mentioned above) agreed to be adopted:
http://1blessing2another.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/what-day.html?spref=fb
I hope it works out… as there’ve been so so so many cases of adopting grownups that don’t end well.