FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
(1)More Embryo “adoption”…
This one talks about how supposedly only “devout” Christians care about embryos and covers the Nghtlight stats that we discussed last week. Devout Christians plan to ‘adopt’ hundreds of thousands of frozen embryos left over from IVF treatments [Daily Mail 9/14/12 by James Nye]
and charging $25 per person or $50 per “business entity” to hear a webinar on embryo adoption an receive a certificate of completion CEU credit. Now they offer the webinar free if you don’t want the credit. Remember that they have been given a chunk of that $21 Million in order to do this sort of activity. http://www.embryoadoption.org/education/webinar-registration.cfm
(2) NCFA (and Gladney) Tour of China
From NCFA :
“In cooperation with the China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA), National Council For Adoption (NCFA) is delighted to announce the “Celebrating Culture and Experiencing China” Winter Tour from December 23, 2012 – January 1, 2013.
Unlike previous trips, this year’s tour will be open to children who were adopted from China, adoptive parents, and siblings.
The trip will begin with a four-day tour of Beijing, during which participants will have the opportunity to experience the vibrant and colorful culture of China’s capital city. From there, camp participants will travel to several cities throughout China, including Xi’an, Chengdu, and ShangLi. Among other activities, participants will visit the Great Wall, feed and clean panda bears at the BiFengXia Panda Center, and experience enriching local cultural activities
All children who were adopted by Americans from China are invited to attend. Also invited are adoptive parents and siblings; however, parents and siblings are not required to accompany the adopted child. Chaperones will be provided for unaccompanied children. Adopted children attend for free. The cost is $1,799 for adults and $1,499 for children under 12 and covers all routine in-country expenses. All participants, including adopted children, are responsible for travel expenses to and from China.
Applications will be made available soon. All inquiries at this time should be directed to Gongzhan Wu, project coordinator, at gongzhan.wu@gladney.org or Vicki Allgaier at vallgaier@adoptioncouncil.org
If you click on one of the itineraries, you can see that the schedule offers an optional foot massage 
right before the New Year 
, but you can’t get grief counselors…
(3)Sympathizing with foster care abusers and writing about them but seemingly not reporting them
“heartbreaking story of a veteran foster mother who takes in too many children because she needs the money to live on. This foster mom grows tired of so many young and often emotionally abused kids in the house. Tempers flare…”
Some bloggers 
(One more report that I had to make this week…sigh)
(4)Another Foster Care Photo Gallery
We have FacePalmed children’s museums, libraries and even Taco Bells that display foster children in mugshot/digital orphan-train-esque fashion. Now, New Mexico State University has a “gallery” of “portraits at the Pan American Cente who are seeking “”forever families.”
NM governor helps with adoption efforts
What are 18 year old freshmen going to a basketball game now going to adopt these kids?Or will people decide to adopt after they see a “portrait” after a Garth Brooks concert ? I am sure this gallery makes those creators feel good 
and that is what counts….right?
(5)Before you head out on that China Tour…
make sure you go on the New York City Cruise with 21 CCCWA employees to show that you have “support of continuing China adoptions”
http://adoptionsbygladney.com/node/500
(6)Hat Tip to a reader who did a FacePalm when reading the lying lawsuit that we covered last week here.
Adoptive parents to file suit today, saying they were not told of kids’ disabilities [Detriot Free Press 9/13/12 by Dawson Bell]
DHS failed to tell one set of parents that the 6 month old was going through withdrawal. Another had a 5 1/2 year old foster child who tried to strangle his disabled brother. DHS response to their cries for help was “”Time and love will take care of it.”
Our reader found the actual complaint that you too can read here.
Ah yes, the old 
and 
will save the day routine…
APs (who have no formal training or licensing as therapists) start their own $8/session therapy groups and who insist that they are SO MUCH better equipped to treat their children than actual, qualified licensed therapists. Um, no. Support groups are definitely great for getting support, but it’s utterly irresponsible to seek TREATMENT from a totally unqualified person.
The apparently lives in a rural area (100 miles from therapists), so has simply decided to that she “discontinued formal [therapy and mental health treatment] for my kids… [she] went to work studying and researching and learning from the pros so [she] could help [her] kids and herself]” and is now “happy to share what [she’s] learned along the way with other parents”.
It’s 100% irresponsible to discontinue treatment because you don’t feel like driving 100 miles get your kid the help he needs. It may well be medical neglect. The AP is RESPONSIBLE FOR CARING FOR THEIR KID and if that involves driving 100 miles to get them appropriate healthcare OR moving so that you can be closer to where your kid will be treated, SO BE IT.
http://www.fromsurvivaltoserenity.com/2012/09/why-my-webinar-sessions-arent-free.html
*********
It’s awful and seems to happen often when APs in rural areas adopt children with special needs: They regularly complain about being scared of city driving or long drives or expensive city parking to see specialists… so they stop going because it’s too much hassle. Makes me want to tear my hair out.
As a parent you’re responsible for caring for your child — and if that involves long hours in the car or even a move closer to the area the doctors/therapists your kid needs are, SO BE IT.
(My biokid has a shunt and I’ve turned down several great postings for the SOLE reason that there would not be adequate medical care for my son. These were great career opportunities, my hubby would have been able to find meaningful work in those particular countries too, but our son’s needs took precedence. The end. It was the ONLY responsible thing to do.
It was few years before the opportunity to go on posting came up again and my son’s needs STILL took priority… but happily there were excellent medical facilities available in Zurich. I’ve no regrets at all. Neither does hubby).
Huh, the AP says people don’t work for free. Just about everyone trying to seriously reform adoption does!
Wow $8 a session. That is skating if not crossing the line of operating without a license. Is this Utah? I couldn’t quite tell from the site.
I hear ya about the long drives and setting aside opportunities. I am right there with you. Child’s needs come first.
Yes, the AP is in Utah. 100 miles out of Park City, I believe.
Hey I only charge $7.99/hour for my Advanced Play Therapy for APs. For that affordable sum, you get a guided tour of the local liquor store and a handout recommending all the best vino and whiskey money can buy. It’s based on the many years of experience I’ve had drinking to blunt the pain of reading all the utter b.s. hoisted on vulnerable children by idiots who should never be allowed to adopt, by the idiot SWs who approve them, and by the slimeballs running the corrupt adoption agencies who profit off human misery. Salut!
Awesome! Where do we sign up? Do we get a T-shirt with that, preferably with a Biblical phrase?
Adoptive parents who flat-out refuse to believe that Ethiopia has a corruption problem with respect to adoptions. Despite evidence to the contrary. Lots:
http://teammyersathome.blogspot.ca/2012/04/prayer-for-confiscated.html?m=0
PAP Abby Snyder who uses her volunteer work in Ukrainian orphanages with TeamworksUkraine to obtain photos and private medical info … that Reece’s Rainbow posts on their website. Heck, her RR begging page even notes this:
“Abby Snyder live in Northwest Arkansas. They are involved in TEAMworks, an international therapy initiative group (www.teamworksukraine.com). While in Eastern Europe in April 2010 and October 2011, Abby met and advocated for Anastasia, or Nastia. Nastia is a precious little girl whose family felt they had to give up their rights to her because they could not meet her medical needs. Upon returning to the United States, Daniel and Abby began to pray for Nastia. They prayed for her health and that she would be adopted soon. During the process of advocating and praying for Nastia, Daniel and Abby began to feel led to adopt her.”
http://reecesrainbow.org/33016/sponsorsnyder
Abby also provides the illegally obtained photos/medical info of Ukrainian orphans on Titus Task, a different begging website:
http://www.thetitustask.com/snyder-family.html
A little girl called Tamara on RR is also featured prominently in the TWU blog:
http://reecesrainbow.org/37399/sponsorguille
TWU also has pics of the child RR lists as “Natalee”:
http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/angel-girls-0-5
Ditto the girl RR lists as “Rita”:
http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/angels-6
AP is using intimate details of one of her son’s adoption as well as poverty porn images to try and guilt the reader into adopting:
http://www.amazinggraceandasafehaven.com/2012/09/put-yourself-in-her-tent.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+AmazingGraceAndASafeHaven+(Amazing+Grace+and+a+Safe+Haven)&m=1
This AP and her husband work, excuse me, volunteer for OFA which claims to both not be an adoption agency and to no longer do adoptions. Based on this post, that is not the case.
Thanks for sharing this about OFA http://www.ourfamilyadoptions.org/?page_id=16 If I recall, they liaise with some “facilitator” in Congo because some of the founding members used her and they are a “ministry” not an “agency” but they present details the same as an agency. I agree that the post seems to follow an “independent” model of adoption.They are building an orphanage yet they claim they are not helping with adoptions.
Exactly this, yes. They call themselves a humanitarian organization and they used to claim to not only do adoptions, even though they did only do adoptions. Now they’ve changed their name and claim to not do adoptions, but yet their volunteers, who are also APs call themselves “case workers” for OFA – seems odd to me.
This breaks my heart – this APs mega family has 10 kids (including 3 unrelated kids adopted simultaneously from Ethiopia) and one adopted girl is having a tough time adjusting and allegedly has RAD… but miraculously THRIVED when she had the FULL attention of amom and adad for a week (both parents accompanied her on an out of state trip to obtain medical treatment:
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/wanting-those-loving-feelings/
Upon returning home, amom notes that it is impossible to give the kid individual attention for more than a few minutes a day:
“Of course, that was not real life. We returned home to a house overflowing with children, meals to made, an intense schedule packed with appointments, volleyball games, errands, work, etc. Coming home has not been easy for any of us; while it’s gone reasonably well, it is sad see that special time with D**** end.”
It is not “real life” to give your kid more than a few minutes of individual attention per day?!?! So so so very sad.
It is also relevant to note that:
1) amom homeschools most of her kids but NOT D**** (the kids she says has RAD)
2) D**** was the ONLY child EXCLUDED from the fun family vacation. Her 9 siblings had a ball.
I’d hazard a guess that D**** probably would have done OK in a smaller family (as there’s a whopping difference between getting, say, 1/3 vs 1/10th of the parental attention).
It has also got to be really hard to “attach” to aparents who exclude (and ONLY you) from the majority of family activities (homeschool and vacations).
Poor kid.