FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
(1) It is all about the AP , not the child in this Portrait of Adoption
See here and several entries on the related Facebook page
The AP disrupted, got divorced, moved, more trauma for this kid, and she’s all worried about HER feelings.
Me!
(2) For Profit agency tries to school the world on adoption corruption
Funny, no mention of the profit in the adoption process! See MLJ post
(3)CCAI’s resolutions on Russia
See their blog here
(4)Precious.org One click can save a child
See here
and CCI is featured on their homepage 
(5) James Marsh Interview about child porn and it doesn’t mention Masha Allen
See here.
Whether it was edited out by the interviewer or purposely left out to not bring more attention to the Russia ban, it still earns a reprimand this week.
Mine include:
1) Reece’s Rainbow-affiliated orphan “advocates” who don’t let a pesky little thing like a ban on adoptions from Russia stop them from begging strangers to donate $21k to a tax-deductible RR account for two illegally photolisted Russian orphans with Down syndrome who are INELIGIBLE for adoptions by American families:
http://lifesbeautifulbutterflies.blogspot.com/2013/01/great-progress.html?m=1
2) You may recall the lovely Ananda Unroe, who simultaneously (!) adopted 5 (!!) high-needs, special needs (!!!) Bulgarian orphans via RR last year — bringing her total number of kids to 18 (of 17 have significant SN). Her family has been approved (!!) to simultaneously adopt 3 more (!) orphans with an from Bulgaria.
This will bring her total number of kids who live in her home up to 21. Amanda’s husband works full time (and travels for work) and she homeschools her kids — this is a kid:caregiver ratio of 1:21. My understanding is that the ghastly orphanage in Pleven, Bulgaria has a caregiver:kid ratio of about 1:16.
Amanda’s family cannot afford to adopt 3 more kids and is currently begging for cash from strangers in order to do so:
http://godsrainbowsinourlives.blogspot.com/2013/01/where-we-are.html?m=1
3) Jenny Brown simultaneously adopted 4 unrelated kids with special needs via RR last year (bringing the total number if kids in her home to 17) and is planning to adopt several more high-needs SN orphans simultaneously, despite being unable to afford basic necessities for her current kids.
Shelly (Jenny’s friend & fellow RR mommy) set up a chip-in to help the Browns pay for stuff:
“The (Brown) family was so thrilled to learn how many people cared for their little girls when they learned I had set up a chip in for them. Through your donations we were able to raise $1,200 in the short time the chip in was able to be up. Unfortunately, it was extremely sad for me and many others when I received a call from Jenny saying that she has been emailed and told she had to take the chip in down because it would look like she could not financially take care of her children and would jeopardize any future adoptions. Now, we all know so many families who do have chip ins and even care funds set up either by the family them self or through the kindness of others while in process of adopting so this caught all of us off guard. Why should the thoughtfulness of others be seen as a negative mark on a family who is adopting? We are called to help one another. God has triumphed over this and still has continued to bless the family through so many of you who continue to send gifts such as diapers and formula”.
So much for families being able to cover all post-adoption expenses if only the “ransom” can be paid by begging $ from strangers.
A family that cannot afford diapers, formula and carseats should NOT be adopting. Why why why would USCIS allow irresponsible idiots like this adopt more kids??!?
Shelly’s blog:
Carringtonscourage.blogspot.com/2013/01/thank-you-from-brown-family.html?m=0
Jenny Brown’s blog:
Thesousabrownfamily.blogspot.com
Carlee,
To be honest, I’ve become more concerned about Adoption Crusaders adopting kids they don’t have the psychological wherewithal to nurture. Begging money from strangers is far more doable for someone who thinks they’re on a mission from God than quickly acquiring the emotional insight and cognitive flexibility needed to parent a traumatized child. There are no “chip in” buttons for that.
I really think that’s why there’s so much adoption disruption and bogus RAD diagnoses among the conservative Christian adoption community. Christie Minich apparently acquired at least two of her adopted children from families who couldn’t cope with their “defiance”– which Minich determined was because they were far less fluent in English than they appeared on the surface: They literally didn’t understand what they were being told to do.
That being said, it does seem that “donor fatigue” is setting in among the Adoption Ministries’ fan base. Donations are so slow that PAPs are upping the emotional appeals for money to a truly horrifying scale, as in this example:
http://kacirek.blogspot.com/2012/10/tough-realities.html
No one seems to consider the alternative of putting together a medical fund to get this kid surgery NOW, without waiting for all the red tape of an international adoption to go through BEFORE he can receive appropriate help for his condition.
I 100% agree with you — addressing a kid’s medical needs CAN and often IS an emergency. Getting a kid adopted — the permanent severing of familial ties — is NEVER an emergency.
A while back Leah Spring (a truly good egg who has adopted two Serbian boys) mentioned that many Serbian kids with special needs would be DOMESTICALLY adopted (or, better still, not given up for adoption in the first place) if their acute medical need(s) could be addressed — my recollection is that there *are* US organizations that bring kids to the US for treatment (they go back home afterwards) , but the Serbian government isn’t willing to allow it at the moment, as they have (legitimate) concerns regarding corruption or the appearance of corruption, I think.
I believe there is (was?) an NGO that ran a that knd of program and brought Haitian kids (who had families and were NOT available for adoption) for medical treatment in the wake of the 2010 Haitian earthquake. I can’t remember the name of the organization.
Carlee,
In trying to find out about such programs, I found this– about the very boy mentioned in the Kacirek’s blog!
http://www.life2orphans.org/cms/node/88
Apparently, once PAPs show up, focus moves from getting the child appropriate surgery at the nearest qualified hospital ASAP to facilitating adoption “…to the United States to have this operation and have his forever mommy and daddy to be there with him all the way!!!…”
Aside from the inhumanity involved in making the child wait longer for relief, why would anyone think having two complete strangers with him would be any comfort to a scared kid undergoing major surgery?
Astrin – That is beyond awful. The org I was thinking of in Haiti (see below) provided care to medically fragile kids in Haiti in order to PRESERVE families (not adopt out the kids).
“In most impoverished countries, sick and disabled children are much more likely to be abandoned or relinquished for adoption by their families. We hope to provide opportunities for as many children as possible to receive medical care and support that enables them to stay with their birth families.
“If medical care is not possible in their home country, the wheels are set in motion to arrange for treatment in the United States. First we locate doctors and a hospital willing to contribute care on a pro-bono basis, as well as a host family to foster the child. Next, we coordinate with volunteers in-country to arrange for the child’s medical visa to the U.S.
As required by U.S. law, all children that come to the United States on medical visas are returned to their home countries when their medical care is complete.”
http://medicaladvocacyteam.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-we-do_09.html?m=1
Carlee,
Since the boy lives in a Ukrainian orphanage, it’s not clear whether there are any family bonds to preserve or not. He was listed on Reese’s Rainbow, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
According to the Life to Orphans’ site, there are medical complications to taking this boy on an airplane. All the more reason to do the surgery BEFORE taking him to America!
I have worked pretty extensively with the Serbian ministry. They will not allow a child to leave the country on medical visa. Believe me, I’ve TRIED!
Leah,
Do you think the Serbian Ministry be receptive to a program to provide funds to have the necessary work done in-country? Or for more specialized surgery, another nearby European country with which they have friendly ties?
Remember, we’re not proposing a program solely for kids who are being adopted by Americans, but for ANY kid who needs surgery or procedures to correct a birth defect/increase quality of life who doesn’t have parents to pay for it– or whose birthparents can’t pay for it. IOW, purely a humanitarian venture to reduce suffering.
Something like this might make it easier to find domestic adoptive parents for special needs kids– or even make it easier for the birthfamilies to raise their own children.
That’s too bad. Do you think Serbian officials would permit the kids to be treated by US doctors in Serbia (thereby avoiding the need for a medical visa)?
(e.g. if US surgeons were to volunteer to travel to Serbia to perform surgery, or something like SmileTrain, a US NGO that provides free surgery for cleft lips/palates — they send American doctors to countries to 1) perform cleft surgeries and 2) train local doctors to perform cleft surgeries).
I’m not sure why the other replies don’t have a button under them. Anyway, there are US doctors who work in the country on a volunteer basis. They do heart repairs and things like that. Facial differences like cleft lips do get repaired there by Serbian doctors (cleft palates do not. It is very common for a child to have their lip repaired but not their palate) Cranial and neuro surgeries and more complex heart repairs do not get done there. I have heard (but not verified) that in the last couple of years some doctors have tried to get in but the minister of health wouldn’t allow it. (he also wouldn’t allow the Abbott company, makers of Similac formulas which has an office right in Belgrade to provide formula to a specific orphanage. We were trying to get it specifically for infant with Apert syndrome who was severely malnourished. ) I am not sure, but I think the minister of health was replaced when the new president was elected back in June. The new presidents wife has a platform that revolves around humanitarian aid. I’m hoping a meeting I was told about that is planned for June actually happens!
Leah,
I think the reply buttons disappear to keep the margins from shrinking too far. Long posts in a one-inch column are hard to read.
Here’s hoping your meeting takes place as promised, and something good comes out of it for the kids! 🙂
Great News– Maxim’s agonizing prolapse has FINALLY been repaired! It proved possible to do it in-country after all– once an infection brought him to the point of death from shock… One has to wonder if thought of losing all those lucrative adoption fees if he died before the Kacireks took custody prompted the decision.
http://kacirek.blogspot.com/2013/02/and-then-clearing-comes.html
Rally, can we please have a Hall of Shame entry for the Ukrainian CPS system responsible for Maxim, which callously allowed this child to suffer so horribly for so long? If American CPS systems are eligible for this dishonor, why should Ukraine be exempt?
It would be a CPS Fail post when the child protection system lingers on this type of thing.I will look into it
I don’t think Melissa Flanagan deserved the facepalm. Every piece of writing DOES have its theme, and her theme in that piece was exploring her emotions as an AP– hence the title ‘Meeting Your Child’s Birth Mom: When The Challenge Isn’t What You Feared At All ‘. And she DOES come to the conclusion that Asher’s need to know his roots trumps her own insecurities and vanities.
The “challenge” that she hadn’t considered in her worrying was what if the birthmother was a no-show at a scheduled meeting, and how that would affect Asher. He HAS already been through a divorce, as you noted.
However, according to the article, he HASN’T been through a disruption. The AP had a planned adoption disrupted prior to adopting Asher, but there’s no mention of Asher being adopted from disruption.
There are some really self-absorbed APs out there, but I don’t think Melissa Flanagan is one of them– or at least not to a degree that rates a facepalm. She DID recognize that it wasn’t all about her. Just sayin’.
4) PAPs like Ashley Moreno who really, truly believe it is acceptable (admirable, even! Pleasing to a supernatural being!!) to adopt when they cannot afford to do so AND to beg for cash from strangers because they’re going to regardless.
“When a family seeks help in raising funds for an adoption, it’s not like asking people to pitch in toward a new boat, or help pay for a vacation. What they are doing is committing to heal, with God’s help, a child who has suffered the profound damage of being unwanted and unloved. They are obediently living out the command given in James 1:27 to care for the orphan, clothing the gospel of Christ’s redemption in flesh and blood and now. When they ask for the body of Christ to come alongside them financially and prayerfully, they are giving us the opportunity to be a part of the miracles God works through obedience. ~ Ashley Paradis Moreno”
Responsible, hardworking families who do not have trust funds or six-figure salaries routinely save up $25k for things they really, really want – like a down payment or a new car or tuition at a public college for their kid. $500/month for 4 years gets you there.
These same families are unwilling to do the same in order to adopt.
http://myianna.blogspot.com/2013/02/fundraising.html?m=0
5) PAPs like Michelle Mosley who:
– continue to fundraise to adopt a Russian kid, despite the ban on Americans (she met her referral, but hasn’t yet passed court)
– are trying to adopt a second Russian kid while she’s at it
– is on board with VP Biden submitting some kind of appeal on her behalf
– illegally picked her Russian referral from a photo illegally posted on Reece’s Rainbow
– has tons of pictures of her Russian referral on her not private blog
Overentitled to a Russian child much? While flagrantly (and simultaneously) continuing to violate Russian law???
“So the latest and greatest that I know is: Today Joe Biden met with someone in Russi@ over all this debacle going on, tomorrow hopefully we will be submitting an appeal to the courts in the region we are trying to adopt from in order to hopefully be counted in with those that are “in process”. This will put a face to a name for R and be more legitimate since we were not far enough along in the process that R knew about us. If that makes since?
Also, our adoption agency’s coordinator goes Feb. 5th to talk to our judge there and tell them about all the families like us that are hopeful to still adopt and far enough in the process to be able to complete the adoption before Jan. 2014. IF and only IF they allow us to continue through the normal process.
So in a nutshell, please pray for us, for Artem, for Russia, all orphans, special needs orphans, and our agency and coordinator who have hired an attorney to help and who are working their butts off to help us gets our children home!
Also, as crazy as all this sounds, there is a second little boy we are hopeful to adopt at the same time as Artem and we believe they are in the same orphanage, hopefully like brothers. This month, this other little boy turns 6 which puts him closer to the adult mental institution if his baby house gets full. Please pray this doesn’t happen to any children!!
Lord we know you have a plan, we know you are in control, may you pour out your blessings upon these children and help them get forever families to call their own! May you give us the peace that surpasses all understanding as you have been, and may you bring clarity, wisdom, guidance, and triumph into a very dark situation. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen!!!”
Arteminthehouse.blogspot.com
http://m.facebook.com/?_rdr#!/story.php?story_fbid=207649556040357&id=135165696622077&__user=100003757853891
Thank you for posting my link! I’ve been wondering how long it would take for one of you to post this! Helps me narrow down who you are since there were only 45 visits to that post and I have all the IP addresses, AND I personally know (as in have met in person) many of them of narrowing it down even further.
There’s this great feature on blogs and Facebook — PASSWORD PROTECT.
One cannot evangelize to the world when one password protects, though. That is why all of these blogs are public.They truly think 100% of people that stumble upon their blog will be praising their efforts.They seriously do not realize that governments read these blogs and that their behavior can have an adverse effect on future placements because it is an “all about me” mentality.
Rally,
Re: “…One cannot evangelize to the world when one password protects…”
You can’t evangelize to the world if you can’t defend your beliefs against criticism, either.
I am fully aware that governments read my blog. The Serbian ministry follows mine quite closely. The last time I was in their office they had copied pictures off my blog and had them hanging on their wall! I follow the rules of Serbian adoption. All of them.
Leah:
Fundraising for band uniforms or cancer research or Girl Scouts is different because the *organization* (not the individual).
In theory, the argument for fundraising for an international adoption is that the PAPs can afford to raise the kid, but not the $15-50k to get the kid home.
In practice, this totally doesn’t work, because the family gets home with their new child, unable to afford predictable medical needs for a kid received substandard care for years in an orphanage/institution (sedation dentistry, co-pays), mandatory post-placement reports and basic necessities (carseats, diapers, special strollers)… for which they end up begging for cash from strangers. This is exacerbated by the fact that these fundraising families have typically spent ALL their money — emergency fund, college and retirement savings, 401k — to complete their adoption, which leaves them without resources to cope with ANY unexpected situations (extra adoption expenses bc there is a paperwork problem that takes an extra week to fix, once they are in-country, a lost job, a broken ankle that leaves a parent unable to work and without a paycheck for six weeks, a flooded basement or car accident). Stuff that you should have 3-6 mos of living expenses saved up to mitigate against??
Planning is really, really important – and the PAPs who *need* to fundraise (vs earned/saved the $$) to complete their adoptions are the one that **haven’t** planned.
(The argument that “rescuing” a specific child is an emergency bc the kid could die is moot. Adoption – the permanent severing of familial ties – is NEVER an emergency, although medical care often is).
There was an interesting discussion (in the comments) about the ethics of fundraising for an adoption:
http://chinaadoptiontalk.blogspot.com/2011/07/dear-abby-fund-raising-for-adoption.html?m=1
We have brought home two kids. ( one in 2010, one in 2011) Our first needed life-saving surgery that we didn’t know about until 3 weeks after we got him home. We didn’t have any trouble taking care of this. In fact, we went from MN to Shriners in PA for the surgery because there aren’t very many of them done and Shriners does more of them than anyone else. Turns out, our second son has the same disorder, though not yet at the point of needing surgery. We’ve had no trouble getting any of the medical care either of our kids needs. NOT ONCE! We haven’t had any trouble getting ANY of their needs met. We save for all of it. I am in contact with the biological families of both my kids. I have met and spent a time with my first adopted son’s birth family and will be again in a couple of months. He was listed for adoption long before I ever knew he existed. THEY chose to place him for adoption. In Serbia a kid can’t be placed on the registry until they’ve been rejected by 3-5 of the 500+ Serbian families who want to adopt. None of them wanted a child with Down syndrome. None of them wanted a child who had already spent several years in an institution prior to his parents allowing him to be adopted. I also advocate for Serbian families who want to keep their kids. I have volunteered to meet with new parents who have just had their baby with DS and don’t’ know what to do. I want them to know it’s NOT a death sentence if they keep their child. But I also have experienced my son being spat upon on the streets of Serbia. He is shunned there. I wish it were different there. I truly do. I want to help bring change there. Really they’re where the US was in the 40’s and 50’s. But until that change happens, there are many kids who won’t make it into homes. Change is a very slow process. My son’s legal guardian in Serbia was responsible for training the foster families in that region. He told me for every one foster home they have 37 kids needing a placement. There IS a town in Serbia…I forget the name now…nearly every family in that town does foster care for kids with Down syndrome or other special needs. They are a model community and it is normal there to have a child with special needs in the family. It is also a very isolated town. Hopefully in the near future the rest of Serbia will catch on!
In our family, we don’t choose a child based on some imminent need. It doesn’t work that way when adopting from Serbia. You have to first submit your criteria (age, gender, what special needs we’re willing to accept/not accept – because only kids with special needs can be adopted from Serbia) and they provide us a list of kids who meet are criteria. There might be one child and there might be 5, but we have to choose from that list. With my second adoption (the first that we were able to work with the ministry like Serbian adoptions are supposed to happen!) we were told age, gender, and special needs. i.e. “male, age 7, Down syndrome.” that’s it. Once we had narrowed it down to one child we were able to ask more specific questions about his development, behavioral issues, etc. I am not familiar with any other country program where a family is in direct contact with the government, with free communication to ask for more information. I agree, I have seen families get in over their heads by bringing home kids who had needs far more significant than what they were prepared for. Serbia also makes a family wait a full year between adoptions. (even if you adopted from another country) They do not allow more than one child to be adopted at a time with the exception of bio siblings. They do not allow photo listings. Only occasionally can a family get a picture of their soon-to-be child prior to traveling, and if they do get a picture they’re given strict instructions to not post it anywhere online because it violates child privacy laws. The only way a family would be knowingly adopting a child who was in “imminent danger” is if that child had matched their pre-specified criteria.
Nobody is forcing people to open their wallets. Last week I was in my local grocery store and the high school track team was bagging groceries as a fund-raiser. (every week there is some high school group doing this.) Their goal is to raise funds for new track uniforms this spring. Why can’t their parents pay for it? If you want your kid to be in track, pay for the darned uniform yourself. Go mow some lawns or shovel some driveways and pay for your uniform yourself, right? There weren’t any team members forcing shoppers to put money in their bucket. It was there. If people wanted to, they could. There was no discussion. Girl scouts and boy scouts going door to door to earn money for camp or whatever. Mom and dad, pay for camp yourself. Funny though, I’m not going to anyone’s door, they’re coming TO MY virtual door, walking into my virtual living room, and my bucket is there on the coffee table. If you want to put something in it, you’re welcome to. If you don’t want to, nobody is going to give you a hard time about it. (though admittedly, I have seen families give people are hard time for not contributing, and I agree this is just horrible.)
I’m sorry, that was my comment. I forgot to add my name. I don’t hide behind “anonymous”. If I don’t want to put my name behind it, I won’t say it publicly.
Adoptive parenting and “kids from hard places” expert Lisa Qualls (she works with Dr. Karen Purvis and Empowered to Connect) has just written a new book on parenting attachment-challenged children:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0393705552/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/178-7212164-9290725?camp=213733&creative=399837&creativeASIN=0393705552&keywords=attachment%20parenting&linkCode=shr&qid=1359916463&redirect=true&ref_=as_li_ss_sm_fb_us_asin_tl&sr=1-6&tag=abuanape-20
Given that Lisa has blogged about excluding adopted daughter Dimples from family holidays, sent her to school (while homeschooling her other kids), obtained after-school respite AND weekend respite 2 of every 4 weekends ALL as a prelude to sending Dimples to the Ramch for Kids in Montana… I’m not so sure taking her advice on raising tough kids is particularly wise.
(On the other hand, Lisa’s a superstar in terms of Getting Insurance to Pay for Everything — adoptive parents I know spent literally years fighting insurance to cover 10 hrs/month of respite — she should give workshops!!)
Yet another family that was 1) given a referral before their Homestudy was completed and 2) needing to fundraise 100% of adoption expenses, including their Homestudy:
http://www.addingawealtothebus.blogspot.com
Amanda Unroe & Jenny Brown are the very worst of the child collectors; the very worst examples of the type of overzealous passion that some in RR espouse. These are people who were trying to run foster homes in the US but couldn’t and decided instead to “create” their own foster homes here in the US. It’s impossible to give enough care and attention to that many children with SN, particularly those with IA issues. Period. I don’t care what they, or anyone else, claim. It’s impossible. There is a rumour that Ms. Unroe is not actually matched to all three children, but to two of them. One of “her” children reappeared on many photolist sites, in spite of her claim that the child was “hers”. She has also moved abysmally slow on this “urgent” adoption crusade, which is a red flag that all many not be well in for her in Bulgaria. It is people like this who need “reform talk”. These are the very worst offenders, who take legitimate causes of orphans so far, it should be criminal. I also despise MLJ; an agency that actively and happily says there’s profit in IA. Yes, of course there is profit in IA but for God sake, at least be a non profit and give SOME legitimacy to your cause!
But please, please don’t lump in the average adoptive family, even ones that fundraise, with the Unroes or the Browns. I’ve seen that connection before.
Surprised I didn’t see any mention of Adoption Ark, home of the “We had a Pakistan program for 5 minutes before we were sued for it” has kicked the bucket, leaving dozens of families rudderless and without refunds…and with a lot of unrealistic expectations of the wait time for healthy(ish) children from EE.
Anonymous – Families that NEED to fundraise* are irresponsible and should NOT be adopting. Period. Earn and save up the funds required. No one is entitled to somebody else’s kid (even if they’re infertile, even if they’d make lovely parents), EVER.
Adoption Ark’s Pakistan program was a debacle, and the VERY worst thing about it is that Nancy Baney (the woman who initally unable to adopt baby Grace from Pakistan because the girl’s paperwork was forged) eventually got to bring the girl to the USA. Despite forged paperwork — who are the girl’s parents? where did she come from? Nobody knows.
(It’s also worth mentioning that Nancy had abandonned her Russian-born son in the USA for nearly a year while she lived in Pakistan to try to complete Grace’s adoption. And lost her job in the US while she was there. So USCIS allowed a woman who had 1) abandonned her child, 2) no means to support herself or her family and 3) thus likely did not have health insurance to bring a CLEARLY trafficked child from Pakistan to the US. Talk about reinforcing BAD HORRIBLE UNETHICAL behavior!!).
http://www.latitudenews.com/story/american-mother-caught-in-pakistani-child-trafficking-nightmare/
* with “fundraising” defined as “begging for cash from strangers in order to adopt”, thus stuff like working overtime, selling excess stuff at a garage sale (WITHOUT posting pics of the kid you want to adopt and a big sign saying they’ll rot in a mental institution) or picking up a part-time job to EARN the $ to adopt are all legit actitives to fund an adoption.
Did you pay cash for your house or car? Didn’t think so….
Name 11:40 PM – I have indeed borrowed money to buy a house and a car — but there are key differences between borrowing money to purchase objects and borrowing cash to adopt a kid, including (but by no means limited to):
– My family saved up 30% (nearly $80k) of the cost of our house before borrowign money from a bank to buy our house. A house is an asset with transferrable monetary value – because of this, the bank willing to lend us money. The bank is a business that needs to make money, and it did so knowing that if Hubby and I fail to make payments, they can repossess our house in order to recoup their investment. Ditto on a car loan.
– People borrow money to adopt all the time; however, the bank likely has more stringint requirements when doing so as an adoption loan would be *unsecured* debt. BIG difference.
I had my kid the “old-fashioned” way, but did want managed to save up $25K ahead of my son’s birth – to cover insurance deductibles and allow me to stay home with my baby for 6 months. I (obviously) didn’t receive a cushy $12K adoption tax credit either, i.e. assuming an adoption costs $25K, the family only needs to save up $13K, since they can deduct the rest from their taxes over the next few years. It’s LESS expensive to adopt than to give birth. Neither Hubby nor I are rich (neither are our parents and we have no trust funds) — we’re simply hardworking, responsible people.
I’m willing to bet most families that fundraise 100% of adoption costs have saved up $25K at some point for something they really wanted (down payment, car, college tuition) – so they’re CAPABLE of saving up. They simply choose NOT to in order to adopt… bc it simply is not that important to them.
My question to you anonymous is: Has your family ever saved up $25K for anything?
As an aside – Adoption Ark has closed up shop. Good riddence!
Thanks for sharing that with us! I see Russia ban has done them in http://www.adoptionark.org/public/pag1.aspx
There’s a report that Christian World Adoptions has gone belly up too on another blog:
http://readerinternationaladoption.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/from-my-inox-cwa-closing/
(There’s no word on CWA having shut down on google news… Yet)
Thanks for finding that! We had heard a lot but were waiting for press coverage which happened in the past 24 hours.