Wednesday Weirdness

Welcome to Wednesday Weirdness, a recurring theme where we post something truly weird and wacky in adoption or child welfare.

” In a case that had more familial intrigue than a romance novel and soap opera rolled into one, a justice has ruled that a Staten Island woman’s ex-husband is not obliged to financially support their foster child, who has lived, unknowingly, with her biological dad for most of her life.

The child, now 12, believes her real dad is her brother. And her former foster father, who has not lived in the household for seven years after separating from his ex-wife, the child’s foster mom, has never been required to pay child support for the youngster, noted state Supreme Court Justice Catherine DiDomenico.

“To grant the former wife’s application (for child support) would be tantamount to endorsing the continuing fraud perpetrated on the child that she has an absent, uncaring father, rather that supporting the truth that her father … lives with her and cares for her deeply,” ruled the judge.

The decision, in the matrimonial part of state Supreme Court, St. George, doesn’t identify the parties by name or state their home community. Matrimonial files are not available to the public, although the decision was posted on a state court website.

The bizarre circumstances date back more than a decade.

They came to a head last year when the foster mother sued her ex-husband for child support of the girl.

She was born in January 2002, said the judge’s ruling.

The one-time couple became the girl’s foster parents sometime thereafter, following a court proceeding in which the child’s biological mom and dad voluntarily and temporarily surrendered their parental rights.

As paid foster parents, the couple also hosted a number of other children in their home between 1999 and 2003, and adopted two of them, both boys, said the ruling. They did not adopt the girl.

However, in March 2003, the wife obtained custody of the girl through a Family Court proceeding. She never told her husband she was seeking legal custody of the child and she, alone, was granted custody, the judge’s decision said.

The girl continued to live with her foster parents. Her biological father was also part of the household, said the judge, although his relationship to the foster parents is not stated.

The girl believed her biological dad to be her brother and her foster father to be her real dad, Judge DiDomenico said.

Even so, the biological father was active in his daughter’s care on a “daily basis” and is a “constant source of emotional support for her,” the judge said.

The foster parents’ marriage soon deteriorated, and they separated in 2007, said the decision. The husband filed for divorce and it was granted in 2009.

Their settlement called for the former husband to pay his ex-spouse $3,250 in monthly child support for the two foster sons they had adopted, as well as $750 in monthly maintenance payments to his ex-wife, the judge’s ruling said.

The stipulation made no financial-support provisions for the girl, who was never legally adopted by either foster parent.

The ex-husband faithfully paid child support for his two adopted sons, until July of last year, when he stopped part of the payments, as a matter of law, after the older boy turned 21, the ruling said. The former husband’s monthly payment was then reduced to $1,450 for the younger boy, who’s now 19.

His former wife sought child support for the girl only after the monthly child support for the boys was decreased, Judge DiDomenico said.

The foster dad had no contact with the girl since separating from his ex-wife in 2007 and did not financially support the girl during that time, said the judge.

Meanwhile, the child had unknowingly lived in the same household since 2003 with her real father, the judge said.

In denying the ex-wife’s bid for child support, the judge noted the girl’s biological dad has been very much a part of her life from shortly after her birth. The biological dad has a full-time job and is in a position to financially support his child should the need arise.

“This is not a case where the biological father is unknown,” wrote Judge DiDomenico.

She also pointed to the lack of a child-support provision for the girl in the former couple’s divorce settlement. The judge further said the foster dad didn’t learn that his ex-wife had obtained custody of the girl until after moving out of the house.

Lawyers for the former couple could not immediately be reached Monday for comment.”

Ex-foster dad not financially responsible for girl who unknowingly lives with real dad, judge rules[SiLive 7/1/14 by Frank Donnelly]