Reunion After Christmas

“All her life, Ranae Rivera had wanted to find her birth mother, so she submitted her name to the Florida Adoption Registry as soon as she turned 18.

But because of a clerical error, she had to wait seven years for the phone call that would fill a missing piece in the puzzle of her life.

Rivera grew up in the 21st century. Jack and JoAnn didn’t take the 20th century view, that adoption was something that should be hidden. They knew it was natural for their daughter to be curious about her birth parents.

“It was a very happy life with them, and I always knew it, growing up,” Rivera said Thursday. “I had to grow into an understanding about what it meant that I was adopted, but it wasn’t ever a shock.”

However, Rivera kept asking about the few facts her adoptive mother had found out about her birth mother. “And she would tell me the same things, over and over. She was very loving about it.”

And her mother added that when Ranae became an adult, the law allowed her to submit her information to the Florida Reunion Adoption Registry. If her birth mother and father had also registered their names, then they could reunite. Without court action, the Florida Department of Children and Families also offers adopted kids the chance to meet their maternal and paternal grandparents, brothers and sisters.

“That was several years ago,” said Rivera, now 25, a clinical dietician at Florida Hospital. At her request, only her married name is used, but not the family names of her adoptive or birth parents.

A few decades ago, society stigmatized adopted children. Some were made to feel unequal to children who were born to their parents.

Jack and JoAnn, though, always made sure that Ranae felt special. “Adoption was an act of love,” Rivera said, “so I felt doubly loved.”

Rivera has a friend who invested lots of money to find birth parents, but the experience with a private investigator was unpleasant. Before a phone call to birth parents was placed, they were told, “If you try to exchange information before I’m paid, I will end the call immediately.”

This is why Rivera is telling her story, to help other adoptees learn that the Adoption Reunion Registry costs only $35, and there’s no hassle.

With her parents’ blessing, Rivera registered her name on July 29, her birthday. Seven years later, she finally got a call on Nov. 18. There had been an entry error, and a case worker had realized that something was wrong.

The Department of Families and Children finally put two and two together and notified Roxanne, Ranae’s birth mother. Then they telephoned Ranae, and it seemed like one of those calls that just fell out of the great blue sky.

“I was shocked,” Rivera said. “I needed a day or two to process everything.”

But of course, she called her mother, who lives in Jacksonville. “We’ve been talking every day ever since. We’ve sent each other photos on Facebook, and we’re texting. We’re going to meet after Christmas. She’s hiring a professional photographer. We’re going have our picture taken. For the first time.”

Roxanne also gave Rivera her birth father’s information. She and Darrel, who lives in Fort Myers, met Dec. 6. “It was good,” she said. “We talked a lot. I got a lot questions answered. I got to know his personality. We’re keeping in touch too.”

The Florida Adoption Reunion Registry was established by the Legislature in 1982 for people affected by adoption in Florida and want to reunite. Voluntary and confidential, the registry is a cross-referenced file of the principal parties in an adoption. Three to four are successfully matched each month.

“We know that many adopted children are naturally and rightfully curious about their birth families,” Interim DCF Secretary Mike Carroll said. “Sometimes, the process of finding your birth family can be difficult and heartbreaking, but it is more often filled with love, surprises and relief that can help bring about a more full and complete family of both adoptive and birth relatives.”

The registry doesn’t initiate searches for birth families. However, if two or more people register their names, the registry puts them in touch with each other; 10,190 names are listed today – 55 percent are adult adoptees, 38 percent are birth parents, 7 percent are grandparents or siblings or other relatives.

Adoptflorida.org features blogs by adoptive children and parents. “Meeting on the phone was life-changing,” wrote adoptee Mark Bono, who found his birth family through the registry, “but meeting in person was a whole different story. That missing piece was filled. When I look at her, I can tell I’m her son.”

Call the Florida Adoption Information Center at 1-800-96-ADOPT or visit www.AdoptFlorida.org/ReunionRegistry.shtml to obtain the Adoption Reunion Registry Form.

“Stay open to the option,” Rivera said. “It is a big deal.””

 

For Christmas, Ranae Rivera will finally meet her mother [Highlands Today 12/14/14 by Gary Pinnell]

REFORM Puzzle Piece