Family Bribes Ukrainian Officials to Complete Adoption

“Tanner, along with about a dozen other children from the Ukraine, was brought to the U.S. by MLJ Adoptions, an international adoption agency in Indianapolis. About 80 percent of MLJ Adoptions’ families do not live within Indiana, but the organization looks for local host families in central Indiana to allow a child to stay with them while the parents consider international adoption. Last year, 59 children were adopted in the U.S. through MLJ Adoptions, and another 38 were matched with families to start the adoption process, executive director Nicole Skellenger said.

Todd and Vanesa VanDeman hadn’t thought of adopting before MLJ Adoptions international program director Lydia Tarr contacted them.

The VanDemans already had three biological children, two in high school and one in college, Vanesa VanDeman said.

“Tanner was not really in the plan,” Vanesa VanDeman said.

Initially, friends and family told them they were crazy to consider starting all over with another child, since they were so close to being empty-nesters, Vanesa VanDeman said.

People who host children have to decide within a week if they want to adopt, although the VanDemans were told they would know right away. The couple knew within two days that Tanner should join their family, Vanesa VanDeman said.

But after a few weeks, Tanner and the rest of the children had to return to the Ukraine because their visas only allowed them to be in the United States for a certain block of time. The couple could not see Tanner again until about six months later, just before Christmas, Vanesa VanDeman said.

“My husband said it was the worst day of our lives,” Vanesa VanDeman said.

Processing paperwork and documentation to bring Tanner back to Franklin permanently became Vanesa VanDeman’s full-time job, she said.

They made sure Tanner’s passport was ready, got approval through the U.S. and Ukrainian government to adopt him and flew to the Ukraine in early December. For three weeks, the VanDemans waited for a judge to approve Tanner’s adoption paperwork, but the courts would sometimes close for the day on a whim, Vanesa VanDeman said.

The Ukrainian government would often not stick to certain rules, such as hours that offices would be open or make demands beyond having the correct paperwork, Vanesa VanDeman said. For example, when the adoption was finally approved, Ukrainian officials claimed they lost Tanner’s passport, but they found it after the VanDemans bribed them, Vanesa VanDeman said.

“They know that you’re pretty much desperate, and we were,” VanDeman said. “You learn to be extremely flexible.”[Hmm! Flexible?Is that what you call it?]

Even after all of the court proceedings and documentation, Tanner still could have said he didn’t want to be adopted by the VanDemans. It was up to him, Vanesa VanDeman said.

“To walk out the door with people he had only spent a few weeks with (is) something a normal child would never do,” Vanesa VanDeman said. “I don’t know any children who would walk away from a constant meal and a bed. That was all he ever knew.”

Six years since he was adopted, no one would ever guess Tanner wasn’t biologically their child, Vanesa VanDeman said. He participates in the same activities as his siblings, such as riding dirt bikes, wakeboarding or snowboarding, Vanesa VanDeman said.

“He has been totally accepted since he walked in the door,” Vanesa VanDeman said.

While the rest of her children were nearly grown and out of the house, the VanDemans can continue to experience the fun parts of having a younger child, such as picking out costumes and going trick-or-treating and trips to Walt Disney World.

“Everything we had done with our kids, we got to do them all over again,” Vanesa VanDeman said. “It’s been a complete joy.””

Franklin family adopts son from Ukraine [Daily Journal 2/21/16 by Abby Armbruster]

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