Mother Meets Son

“Anne Harreden of Atlanta ordered a birthday cake last month for her son, Jim Moran. But this wasn’t an ordinary celebration – this was the first birthday cake that 48-year-old Jim has ever shared with his family. How this happened is a miraculous adoption story that centers on Worcester, ranges the East Coast and spans back almost half a century.

In 1961, Anne Harreden, 16, moved from Prince Edward Island to live with her older sister in Worcester. After graduating from high school, Anne found work at a medical supply company in Lincoln Square. She fell in love with a co-worker named Robert and they had a daughter, named Jen, in 1966. Two years later, she became pregnant with their second child. However, the romance was beginning to fade. When Christopher arrived in October 1968, 23-year-old Anne was barely making ends meet. She decided to put her son up for adoption through Catholic Charities. On the form, she wrote she was “not in an emotional, physical or financial state to raise another child, and (Chris’) father could not be relied upon.”

Anne then moved up to a new position as a histologist at Worcester City Hospital. She was in much better financial condition when a third child, Jaime, arrived in 1970.

Jennifer and Jaime grew up in Worcester in the neighborhoods around Congress, Highland and Pleasant streets. Times were tough. They moved often and were regular clients at the Mustard Seed food pantry. Jen graduated from Doherty Memorial High School in 1984, took classes at Becker Junior College and eventually earned a bachelor’s degree in English from Clark University in 1999. Soon afterward she landed a job as the education director in the Grafton Job Corps, a position she held from 1992 to 2002.

When Jen was in high school, Anne told her daughter of the middle sibling whom she had put up for adoption years ago. In the early 1990s, they reached out to the Massachusetts Department of Social Services. “But the case manager we spoke with said that because of privacy laws, she wasn’t permitted to tell us where he was or tell us even if our brother was alive,” Jen said.

In 2002, Jen moved to Albany, Georgia, to work at a larger Job Corps site. Based on her reports of the mild Southern weather, Anne and Jaime soon followed her. Jen pushed the longtime stonewalled quest to find her brother to the back of her mind but still hoped that someday, somehow, her family would be reunited.

The years rolled on until the morning of Jan. 1, 2016. Anne awoke in a panic, her son, Christopher, on her mind. “I was thinking, what if he went into the military and was killed overseas?” said Anne. “What if he was taken from us before I ever met him? Or what if my son was an addict and needed my help? Or what if he was famous, someone we’d recognize? There were so many if’s. I just never knew.”

“This is the year,” she said, “I have to know if my Christopher is alive.”

Jen used Facebook to restart the hunt for her middle sibling. She posted what few details she knew of Chris’ case. The response was overwhelmingly supportive but ultimately unhelpful. Anne suggested she reach out to DSS again. Not exactly optimistic, Jen called the office and was surprised to talk to the same caseworker she had spoken with almost 20 years before.

“(The caseworker) told me the adoption information rules had changed, and now my mother could initiate contact,” said Jen. “She told my mother to write a letter and send it to her, and she would forward it on – and most important – to be patient.”

Anne sat down to write a one-page letter to a son she’d never met.

One afternoon in April, in Lewiston, Maine, 47-year-old Jim Moran, father of two, was coming home from his job as the marketing director for a snow removal and landscaping company. Taped to the door of his house was a letter requesting him to call the local sheriff’s office. A little perturbed, Jim picked up his cellphone.

The sheriff told Jim that a caseworker from the Department of Social Services in Massachusetts had requested his office’s assistance getting a message to one James (formerly Christopher) Moran.

Jim next called the caseworker, who gave him Jen’s phone number and forwarded to him the letter that Anne had written. Included was a photo of his biological mother and two siblings.

A few days later, Jen was visiting her mother when they both received phone calls – Anne on her landline, Jen on her cellphone. It was the DSS caseworker calling Anne to tell her the letter had been delivered, but just be patient, she said. “These things can take time – weeks, months, even years. Your son will call you when he’s ready.”

From the next room, Jen suddenly said, “Hey Mom, Chris is on the telephone … he’d like to talk to you.”

“When we first heard that voice – he has a deep, sexy Barry White kind of voice – we just started crying,” recalled Jen.

Chris, whose adoptive mother changed his name to James, told his mother and sister of his life from the time he was adopted when he was 2 months old. He grew up with his adoptive parents and three older siblings in Marshfield.

“My two sisters and my brother were white,” said Jim, “and I was biracial, so it didn’t take me long to figure out something was different. My adoptive mother was always upfront with me, but she couldn’t tell me anything about my biological parents – my last name was physically cut out of my birth certificate.”

When he was in elementary school, the family moved outside Lewiston (coincidentally, Anne worked for two years at Lewiston’s hospital). Jim was an athlete and a “country boy” who loves hunting and fishing, and according to Jen “would live outside if he could.” Jim has two daughters, now in their 20s, and had been working for the lawn service company since the late 1990s.

“That first conversation was just incredible,” said Jen.

“It was pretty emotional,” added Jim. “I was teary-eyed but kind of relieved. I always wondered, was I alone? Did I have siblings? Jen answered a lot of questions for me.”

Jen and Anne learned that Jim’s adoptive mother, Diane DeGrasse, lives in Florida and would be driving through Georgia later that summer on a trip to Maine to visit Jim. Itineraries were compared, and in July, Anne, Jim’s biological mother, met Diane, Jim’s adoptive mother, for the first time.

When they met, Diane handed Anne a packet of dated photos of Jim’s life, arranged in chronological order. Within minutes, and with each photo, “I saw my boy grow up from a baby, through childhood, through high school graduation, to fatherhood.”

“(Anne and Diane) were both so much alike,” said Jen, “both diverse, artsy, with an eclectic group of friends. Afterwards my mother told me that if she could have handpicked anyone to raise her son, it would have been Diane.”

Diane gave an account of the meeting to Jim. “My adopted family were all very happy for me,” said Jim. “They always wondered what my story was, too. There was no ill will, no jealousy or resentment. There was nothing but love.”

Anne, now 71, and Jen, 50, and Jaime, 46, made arrangements with Jim to meet in person in mid-October. They decided to fly to Logan Airport, rent a car and drive to his home near Lewiston.

“We were so nervous driving up. But once we arrived, all that just disappeared. It was like we found our brother,” said Jen, pausing to wipe away a tear. “someone we had known all our lives. It was like 48 years never happened. It was very emotional.

“My mother ran from the car and threw her arms around him,” Jen continued. “They hugged for a long time and just looked at each other. People say I (resemble) my mother, but for them, it was like looking into a mirror.”

“I don’t think anyone ever hugged me that tightly before,” said Jim. “I guess she had a lot of years of hugging to catch up on.”

“There were a lot of tears,” said Anne. “The first thing my son said to me was, ‘Mom … finally.’ It was very emotional. For 48 years my mind was frozen on this frame of him as a baby. Now here was the man, in my arms.”

Anne, Jen and Jaime spent the night in Maine talking with Jim.

“We talked about our childhood, him growing up in the country, us in downtown Worcester,” said Jen. “I had already told him how the adoption happened. But it wasn’t until my mother saw her son in front of her that she could tell him why it happened.”

The next day, Anne, Jen and Jaime returned to Worcester; it was Jen’s first time back since 2010. While in the city, “my brother visited friends and stopped by our old haunts, like the Pickle Barrel for fish and chips. We also volunteered a few hours at the Mustard Seed, where we ate meals as kids.”

On Oct. 20, Jim drove to Worcester to meet his biological extended family, including cousins and second cousins from as far away as Prince Edward Island. Anne’s sister, Yvonne, hosted the two-day reunion in her home on Lake Avenue. “It was like a big open house,” said Jen. “People kept coming in all day long. I’m sure he was feeling overwhelmed. He met probably 25 to 30 new relatives throughout the two days.”

“It was surreal,” said Jim. “They answered my questions I’d had about my heritage and my ethnicity.”

Since Jim’s birthday is Oct. 26, Anne had ordered a cake for him from Gerardo’s. “That was his first-ever birthday cake with his biological mother and family,” said Jen.

Jim returned to Maine the following afternoon, just before the heavy rainstorms. Anne, Jen and Jaime flew out on Oct. 22. “Mom slept the whole way back to Georgia,” said Jen. “It took an emotional toll on her.”

The entire family has a lifetime to explore together. Jim plans to visit his extended family on PEI next year.

“I know I have to share him,” said Anne. “My sister has 11 children and they all want to go hunting and fishing with their brand-new cousin.”

“We’ll meet again in the spring, when (Jim) drives down on his way to see Diane in Florida,” said Jen. “He still has to meet my kids and Jaime’s kids – that’s seven nieces and nephews, and five grandnieces and grandnephews.”

After 48 years, Anne now has a photo of her with her son on her mantle. “After all this time,” she said, “It’s real. I’m finally complete.”

Jen and Jim trade emails and texts almost every day. “We talk about things like the kids and hunting – just normal brother-sister family stuff,” said Jen.

“If I could say one thing to people out there who are looking for their biological children or siblings, it would be don’t give up. It’ll happen, but it’ll happen in God’s time.””

Son given for adoption reunites with birth mother in Worcester[Worcester Telegram 11/13/16 by BJ Hill]

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