How Could You? Hall of Shame-UK-Stef Benson case

This will be an archive of heinous actions by those involved in child welfare, foster care and adoption. We forewarn you that these are deeply disturbing stories that may involve sex abuse, murder, kidnapping and other horrendous actions.

From the UK, “he’s the backflipping half of the funky duo Misunderstood, a star in Robbie Williams’ eyes and one of the bookies’ favourites to win The X Factor.

While Stef Benson is living his dream, his childhood was a living nightmare.

Stef, 25, who performs with partner Jeff Twumasi, 27, spent time in foster care where he claims he endured ­horrendous physical abuse – beatings and being burned with hot chocolate.

For the first time, he shares his experiences to persuade any children suffering in care today to speak out too.

“My story is not a sob story,” he says. “It’s real. Not a lot of people realise what can go on in foster care. I wasn’t just beaten every day, I was tortured. It was malicious and all done behind a front.”

He added: “I have come through it with a positive attitude of resilience. But some kids won’t.

“They might not feel they have a voice. So I want to say to anyone in care, ‘You do matter. You are worthy. Please tell someone if you’re unhappy’.”

Stef, one of five siblings, was seven years old when he was taken from his home in South East London along with his brother Brandon, then six, and sister Melissa who was a tiny baby. The memory is vivid and painful.

“One minute I was just playing, the next I was being dragged out of the sitting room and hauled into a car while my mum was crying.

“My brother and sister were with me. It was frantic. I knew something big was happening because of the sound of people sobbing.”

Stef’s mum Amanda, who was bringing up five ­children alone at the age of 29, asked social services for short-term help between jobs.

She was unaware it would mean losing her three youngest ­children to the care system for two years.

Stef says: “My dad just wasn’t around. We’ve never had a connection and I don’t even know what he looks like.

“And we were all OK with that because we didn’t know anything else. My mum was so strong, and so there for us, it didn’t really matter that we didn’t have a dad.

“Mum always worked and ­although we weren’t rich we had all the clothes, toys and food we needed. We weren’t taken into care because of money, but because mum had a short tough time.

“She did such a good job of sheltering us from her struggles it was a shock to suddenly be in care. A few days in care turned into years of hell for her and us.”

At first Stef thought he was at a play school because there were so many other children in the foster home.

But a fortnight later when he was moved into a second home, he knew his life had changed for the worse.

“When people started making plans for us quite far in the future, I thought, ‘OK, what’s going on?’. In that moment, I had to grow up and be a man to look after my little brother and sister.”

The abuse began straight away. “If we didn’t eat our dinner we’d be beaten – and I don’t just mean a little slap across the face but full-on beatings that left us covered in bruises.

“We used to have dumplings and stew and I hated the dumplings – slimy, horrible things that made me feel I was in Oliver Twist, so I got a lot of beatings. Once one of our carers threw me against the oven door until my lip was all twisted and bloodied.”

Eating the things he loved resulted in one of the most brutal punishments for Stef and his brother.

“I absolutely love chocolate. Me and Brandon snuck a bar of Dairy Milk into the house and hid it in our attic room.

“One of the carers found it, put it in the microwave until it was boiling, then rubbed the bubbling chocolate down our faces as it burned off our skin.

“A couple of days later, I remember sitting down with my brother, looking at each other’s burns, and saying, ‘I still absolutely love chocolate’.

“Now Brandon uses that phrase whenever we face anything tough in life. It’s as if ‘I still love chocolate’ ­references how tough we were in childhood. We refused to let an abuser turn chocolate into a negative thing .”

Watching Brandon being punished hurt Stef more than being beaten himself.

He says: “My brother used to wet the bed and they’d threaten to put him in the bin.

“There was an alarm under the bed which went off if water went on it. The carer would get Brandon up and keep him up the whole night.

“I knew I could deal with whatever they did to me because I was very confident. But my brother is very private and I felt I was strong while he wasn’t.

“I tried to fight the carer off, but he was a huge 6ft man trying to beat me up and I was never going to win. I used to wish I could trap him in SpiderMan’s webs and wanted a Harry Potter invisibility cloak to throw over him.”

Each day, Stef and Brandon were forced to do extreme chores.

“They made us clean the car with a ­toothbrush – it was ridiculous,” he added.

They ran away and hid in a ­supermarket sweet ­aisle but police returned them to their home.

Showing maturity beyond his years, Stef told himself he was ­fortunate throughout the hellish two years in foster care.

“I felt so lucky that me, Brandon and Melissa hadn’t been split up because I knew other kids at school who’d been separated from siblings.

“I knew I was lucky to have food, shelter and clothes. I knew they weren’t being violent to their own kids, or Melissa. And I knew my family would be fighting for us. I never lost hope. That’s what got us through.”

Stef was not allowed to listen to music but dreamt up ­melodies and lyrics.

He handed songs written in crayon to his teacher, knowing his carers would destroy it if they knew it meant something to him.

He still can’t understand why social workers didn’t spot the abuse – and even seemed to encourage it.

Stef says: “On the outside, this big house with a jacuzzi looked perfect. But it wasn’t like that. We weren’t fine.

“Whenever our carers told social workers we were wetting the bed or not eating meals, the social workers told them they should discipline us much more. They were corrupt.

“That’s why I want kids in foster care to speak out. Social ­workers need to go into homes and ask kids how they feel. No one ever did that for us. When you’re moved into another household and people are getting money for you being there, it’s hard to speak out.

“We were lucky we had a teacher at school who saw our bruises and burns but knew she couldn’t speak to our social worker. She helped my mum fight to get us back.”

Stef knows nothing about his mother’s court battle, but knows when they were returned home the bond with their mum became stronger than ever.

“Mum sat us down and said, ‘OK, we need to talk about everything, then let’s move on.

“Anything you need in life, tell me and I’m here’. It felt like she’d wrapped a big safety blanket around us.”

Stef, who taught himself somersaults and backflips by practising on his mum’s bed, developed his raw talent by writing songs to express his emotions.

His time in social care has affected his personality.

“I feel like I have a superpower because I know when someone’s upset, angry, or doesn’t want to talk because they’re ashamed. I say, ‘Are you OK?’. I’m always telling people I’m here for them to speak to,” he says.

“I crave approval from myself. Every day I look in the mirror and say, ‘Are you happy?’. I am happiest writing our own music and performing, that’s why I have not stopped for the last nine years.

“I hope our music inspires people. I hope kids in care might see me so happy and know they can be too. One day I want to set up a charity to help kids in care – I want for them all to know they have a voice.”

X Factor’s Misunderstood star Stef Benson reveals he was TORTURED in foster care

[Mirror 11/9/18 by Julie Mc Caffrey]

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