Skylar Lasby case-Child Death

This will be an archive of actions by those involved in child welfare, foster care and adoption.

From Saranac, Michigan, adoptee Skylar Lasby ” died from sudden cardiac arrest caused by congenital heart disease on Aug.28. He was 12 years old.”

“And now, a silver casket was set up in the high school gym — the biggest building they could find in Saranac. About 800 people filled the bleachers for his funeral — more than half the residents in this small rural village between Lansing and Grand Rapids. His helmet was placed on top of the casket and he was buried wearing his No.2 Saranac Junior High School football jersey. His family sat on aluminum chairs in the middle of the gym — about 40 of them wearing the same red T-shirt in honor of Skylar. His teammates wore their jerseys — that’s what Skylar’s family wanted.

And Jack Harbaugh — the father of Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh — was sitting in the back with tears welling in his eyes.

Becky Poor, the senior pastor at the Saranac Community Church, spoke about how Skylar was a huge Michigan fan. His goal was to play football at U-M and get drafted by the Detroit Lions. She held a football signed by Jim Harbaugh and read the inscription: “Our team’s thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Our prayers are with you — Jim Harbaugh.”

Jack attended the funeral at Jim’s request, and when Poor introduced him, he went to the front and handed the football to Scott Lasby, Skylar’s father, and presented a Michigan jersey to the player’s mother, Rhonda. It was a No. 2 jersey — Skylar’s number — and it had his  name on the back.

“It was special,” Rhonda said. “It was wonderful.”

“We broke down, of course,” Scott said. “We were both balling our eyes out. I gave Jack a big hug. He was just super. He showed what a great father is like. He is a family man.”

After the funeral, the football players formed a tunnel, the kind you see before the start of a game or at a pep rally, and the casket was taken to a hearse.

Scott walked out of the gym with his right hand raised in the air, with two fingers pointed at the sky as if to say: No.2 is in heaven now.

Jack was caught up in the emotion of it. He saw the devastation in Saranac coach Andy Lytle’s eyes. He could sense the community’s profound sadness.

“Do you mind if I talk to the program?” Jack asked.

“Absolutely not,” Lytle said. “I think it would be good.”

Saranac’s football program — from middle school to high school varsity — includes less than 100 players. They all use the same practice field and everybody knows everybody. And now they were huddling up with Jack Harbaugh.

Jack didn’t plan to say anything. But he talked to the players like he was giving the most important speech of his life.

“He talked about sometimes you get punched in the gut,” Brad Hesche, one of the youth coaches, said. “It’s all about how you get up and lead after that. That’s what he told all the boys and that’s what resonated with me.”

All the lessons that can come from a football field, all the things that seem like tired clichés — overcoming adversity, rallying together, helping each other — felt important in that moment. Like a road map for getting through the darkness of a real-life tragedy.

“He was telling us to stay strong,” Cole Edwards, a senior, said. “He told us nobody else in the state went through what we went through. Just telling us to keep our heads up and play for him.”

Jack spoke for about 15 minutes. “It wasn’t just a short, sweet talk,” Lytle said. “He was sincere and passionate on what he was telling the program, about sticking together, captains taking the lead and everyone following those leaders. He said, ‘This is what you have to do, when something like this happens. Step up to the plate and become one big family.’

“Which we already were.”

Jack can’t remember what he said. It was so emotional that his memory went blank.

“Driving home, it all sunk in,” Jack said. “The gym. The parents. The players. The message. The gym was packed. It was so moving.”

One of the most emotional moments he had ever faced.

Days later, Jim talked about it on his weekly podcast.

“Just the youngster himself, I woulda loved to know him,” Jim said on his podcast. “He seemed like a cool kid.”

A cool family, really.

Scott and Rhonda adopted Skylar and his two brothers eight years ago. They have three grown biological children and had hosted 12 foreign exchange students over the years. So when they found out about three brothers who were bouncing through the foster care system, going through seven homes in three years, they threw open their front door and adopted all three.

Skylar seemed healthy to his parents. He had passed a physical just a week before his death and worked out constantly. He said to one teammate: “I’m getting abs!” He was going through puberty — suddenly developing muscles. He would flex and say to Scott and Rhonda: “Look, I’m getting veins.”

Making sense of everything

His death doesn’t make any sense to them.

“They ran a sprint and they were getting back in the line,” Scott said. “He high-fived one of his friends.”

“And that’s when he went down,” Rhonda said.

“He had a convulsion or whatnot,” Scott said.

The Lasbys live about 2 miles from the school. They rushed to the practice field.

“We started getting phone calls and text messages,” Rhonda said. “All they could tell us was Skylar was hurt and get down there right away.”

Nurses worked on Skylar as they waited for help to arrive. One of the nurses was from Kalamazoo. She was only there because she was watching her kids run in a cross-country meet at Saranac. “She got out of the car and her kids stayed in the car,” Rhonda said. “She said they were praying the whole time. She went out on the field to do what she could.”

Skylar’s teammates were ushered away, so they couldn’t watch.

Scott said an Automated External Defibrillator (AED) was used on Skylar on the field, but it didn’t help.

“I knew he was gone,” Rhonda said.

“We could see it in their faces,” Scott said.

“It was awful,” Rhonda said.

Skylar was transported by helicopter to Spectrum Health Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids.

“We knew we were going to say goodbye,” Rhonda said.

“They kept his body alive, so they could do tests to make sure they could do everything possible,” Scott said.

He died at the hospital, and they offered his body for organ donation. Doctors took some of his veins and bones.

Skylar had congenital cardiomyophathy, a disease of the heart muscle that can lead to heart failure. As many as 1 in 40,000 athletes die every year from sudden cardiac arrest, according to the National Institutes of Health.

Doctors tested Skylar’s two biological brothers to see whether they have the same issue.

“Those two had two different kinds of EKGs,” Rhonda said. “They had echocardiograms, they looked normal. Nothing showed. But we still have heart monitors on them.”

The Lasby family has been blown away by the support of the community, not just in Saranac, but beyond. A GoFundMe account was started, and as of Thursday afternoon it had raised more than $13,000. Surrounding high schools have raised money, passing a hat. People have dropped off food and paid for the family’s bill at a restaurant.  “It’s been incredible,” Scott said.

The girls volleyball team hosted a car wash and donated more than $3,000 in proceeds to the Lasby family. The Lasby family actually went to the car wash, to support the team, not knowing the money was going to them.

The Lasbys want to take the donations and buy a portable external heart pump for the local fire department, something that wouldn’t have saved their son but might help somebody else. As far as they know, nothing could have been done to save Skylar.

The Lasbys also are considering a scholarship fund. Something to keep his memory alive and help the community and try to help somebody else.

They just aren’t sure what to do, or even how to do it.

Holding her son

Scott and Rhonda went to their first Michigan football game on Sept.9 when the Wolverines played Army.

“Heading to Ann Arbor to the Michigan game,” Scott posted on Facebook. “Nervous as hell as we’ve never been but happy to be going. … Skylar will be looking down smiling.”

Rhonda took a picture of Scott at the wheel, holding up two fingers, Skylar’s number.

The tickets were a gift from a family member. They didn’t call Harbaugh, didn’t tell anybody from the athletic department, because they didn’t want to be a bother.

But they saw that No. 2 jersey everywhere they looked down on the field. Carlo Kemp, a senior defensive lineman, wears that number on defense and was named the defensive player of the game after a career-high nine tackles. Quarterback Shea Patterson wears it on offense, and he threw for 207 yards passing. And kicker Jake Moody wears that number on special teams, and he drilled a 43-yard game-winning field goal.

And there was Scott, holding up two fingers, pointing at the sky.

Scott and Rhonda don’t know whose jersey they have. But at some point, they plan to build a shrine in their basement, a place to display that Michigan jersey and the signed football.

Rhonda sat on her back porch on Tuesday afternoon, clutching the jersey.

“My tears are all over it,” she said, unsure whether she should wash it.

She held the jersey close to her body, wrapping her hands around it, out in the warm sunshine, as if she were holding her son.”
Jim Harbaugh sends heartbreaking gift to funeral of Michigan boy who died on field

[Detroit Free Press 9/13/19  by Jeff Seidel]

REFORM Puzzle Piece