FacePalm Friday UPDATED
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selection:
YouTuber Fundraiser Re-Homes Chinese Child
“Myka Stauffer, a parenting and lifestyle YouTuber with over 700,000 subscribers, included her viewers in every stage of her adoption journey — from fundraising to grappling with the ever-changing rules surrounding international adoption to bringing her son, Huxley, home from China in 2017.
She updated followers on her son’s progress as he adjusted to his new home with four siblings, bonded with her husband, James (who runs a successful car-detailing YouTube channel), and received interventions for developmental deficits as a result of a brain tumor and stroke experienced in utero.
And on Tuesday, she shared another update with her audience: Stauffer and her husband had placed Huxley in a new home — a decision that sparked outrage among some of her followers.
Stauffer posted a video titled ‘an update on our family’ on her channel on Tuesday
“This is by far the hardest video James and I have ever publicly had to make,” Myka Stauffer said.
“With international adoption, sometimes there’s unknowns and things that are not transparent on files and things like that,” [
] James Stauffer said. “Once Huxley came home, there was a lot more special needs that we weren’t aware of and that we were not told.”
The couple added that Huxley had received “numerous therapies” over the past three years and had begun more intense interventions in the past year. The feedback from medical professionals about their son’s condition, they said, had been “really hard” — and ultimately they felt that Huxley needed a home better equipped to support him.
“After multiple assessments, after multiple evaluations, numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit and that his medical needs — he needed more,” Myka Stauffer said through tears.
The YouTuber said the family had delayed making the video and remained vague about the details of their situation on social media to protect Huxley’s privacy and ensure the success of his new adoption.
“I didn’t want to mess up anything with what’s going on legally,” she said, later adding, “The reason we haven’t updated you sooner is because the medical professionals, the agencies, multiple people have been allowing for Huxley to spend time with some different people to see and to make the perfect match and fit for his now new forever family.”
The couple also addressed the speculation and critical comments they received on social media over the past few months as people noticed that Huxley was missing from their content. (The comments are no longer visible on any of the family’s social-media accounts.)
“Do I feel like a failure as a mom? Like, 500%. So when you get, like, insidious, hurtful comments, it just, like, really makes it hurt worse,” Stauffer said. “It’s not about me at all, but it’s just, like, this journey has been — the last couple months have been, like, the hardest thing I could have ever imagined.”
Stauffer told viewers that the adoption agency had placed Huxley with a family that it thought was “literally the perfect match.”
“He is thriving. He is very happy. He’s doing really well. And his new mommy has medical-professional training, and it is a very good fit,” Stauffer said.
Ultimately, the Stauffers said they hoped their viewers would “give us grace” and respect their privacy as they grieved.”
“The feedback elsewhere, however, has been much more critical, and people have criticized a lack of transparency, her parenting ability, and the monetization of her lifestyle.”
[Insider 5/27/2020 by Margot Harris]
Update:“Huxley’s disappearance and being sent away outraged netizens who have been following his stories, as well as those in China. The family has also gained fame in China after their videos being posted on Chinese video platforms.
Does this mean Huxley been abandoned another time? He was so small and had been trying so hard to progress… I had thought the parents could accompany him forever,” a Bilibili netizen said.
KowawaBear, who has been reposting Stauffers’ videos on Bilibili, said that the couple has “lawyered up” after several media reported Huxley’s case. “I will update if the family was found guilty of child abuse or making profiting off of (Huxley) after the investigation.”
Sara, a Chinese neitzen, told the Global Times that her comment in Myka Stauffer’s instagram accusing them of abandoning Huxley was removed within one hour.
“The family made money from the videos showing Huxley, changed the house and had a new baby… now they abandoned Huxley,” she said. “Huxley’s experience was showed on the internet, what about other thousands that were not seen by the others?””
YouTuber ‘rehoming’ adopted Chinese son outrage netizens in China
[Global Times 5/28/2020 by Shan Jie]
“YouTube star Myka Stauffer and her husband are being investigated by authorities in Ohio after revealing last week that they had ‘rehomed’ their adopted autistic son Huxley by handing him over to another family.
The bombshell admission that he had been rehomed has sparked furious backlash online and has already cost Myka her partnership with Kate Hudson’s sportswear company Fabletics and other lifestyle brands.
By Tuesday, it appears that Myka had scrubbed her Instagram page boasting more than 204,000 followers of all images showing the four-year-old Huxley, leaving behind only photos of her four biological children.
As BuzzFeed News first reported on Tuesday, the Delaware County Sheriff’s Office in Ohio has launched an investigation seeking to track down Huxley to make sure the child is safe.
Tracy Whited, a spokesperson for the sheriff’s office, told the news outlet it is working with ‘several other agencies’ to find the child.
‘We’re very aware of this case,’ said Whited. ‘We are investigating, but it is an active case, and as such, we cannot divulge too much information just yet.’
A week ago, Myka, 32, and her husband, 34, posted an emotional video on their popular YouTube channel, saying they have decided to ‘rehome’ Huxley after adopting him from China in 2017.
James explained that he and his wife had discovered ‘there were a lot of special needs that we were not aware of.’
Myka and James cited medical privacy concerns for not explaining in detail why they decided to give Huxley up.
She has previously stated that the toddler has autism and brain trauma, and required a lot of specialized care.
In the video, which has gone viral and has been viewed 4.2million times in the last week, Myka said she has been told by ‘numerous medical professionals’ that Huxley needed ‘a different fit. He needed more.’
She added that an adoption agency had helped place Huxley with his ‘forever family’.
‘He’s thriving, he’s doing really well, and his new mommy has medical, professional training,’ she added.
After facing a barrage of criticism on social media, Myka allegedly responded in the comments, saying Huxley ‘wanted this decision 100 per cent.’ The message appears to have been deleted but is now circulating online.
‘Multiple scary things happened inside the home towards our other children, and if these events happened with one of my biological kids, after all the help and after the behaviors we witnessed sadly we would have no other choice then to seek help and get their needs met.’
The mom-of-four went on to insist that rehoming Huxley — who turns five this week — was what was best for him and something he wanted.
‘Huxley wanted this descion [sic] 100% we saw that in family time with other poeple [sic], he constantly chose them and signed with and showed tons of emotion to show us and let us know he wanted this,’ she explained. ‘Huxley never had a say in his adoption, and he needed more help and also wanted this and we know that 100%.’
Attorneys Thomas Taneff and Taylor Sayers who represent the Stauffers told BuzzFeed the parents had personally hand-picked ‘a family who is equipped to handle Huxley’s needs.’
The lawyers said the decision was made in consultation with multiple healthcare and education experts.
‘Over time, the team of medical professionals advised our clients it might be best for Huxley to be placed with another family. This is devastating news for any parent,’ the lawyers stated.
Many questions remain unanswered at this time, including: where is Huxley? Who helped the Stauffers transfer him to the new family? Have the new parents been vetted by anyone?
Neither Myka nor James have publicly commented on the controversy since releasing their tearful video.
When the Stauffers brought Huxley home from China in October 2017, Myka documented his international adoption on her YouTube channel, which now has more than 700,000 subscribers.
Myka also wrote about Huxley’s adoption and his special needs. In a piece she had penned for Parade in September, she said that they were surprised when they came home with their adopted son and realized his file was ‘inaccurate.’
‘Our son ended up having a stroke in utero, has level 3 autism, and sensory processing disorder,’ she wrote. ‘It took a lot of time to process and to readjust to his new diagnosis.’
She shared that Huxley receives ’30 hours of ABA [Applied Behavior Analysis] in-home therapy a week and goes to private preschool’ to help with his needs.
‘He is a great kid and his condition doesn’t involve that much overall care—all you need is a big heart and practice patience every day,’ she said. ”
[Daily Mail 6/3/2020 by Snejana Farberov]
Update 2:
“Tracy Whited, a spokesperson for the Delaware County Sheriff’s Office, released a statement on Wednesday, saying the agency has received ‘several inquiries regarding the welfare’ of Myka and James Stauffer’s son Huxley, who is turning five years old this week.
Whited confirmed that the special-needs boy, whom the Stauffers adopted from China in 2017, has recently been given up for adoption again, and that the family is being investigated. ”
[Daily Mail 6/3/2020 by Snejana Farberov]
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