Facebook a "risk" for adoptees?
Many UK and Australian media outlets have been reporting and wringing their hands over this “risk” of Facebook connections of adoptees and birthfamilies over the past day. Adopted kids at risk from Facebook [The Sun 1/5/12]
We call bull on the exasperation. Tools can be properly or improperly used. If adoptive parents of a child adoptee or adoptees themselves have concerns about contact with an abusive birthfamily, it should be discussed and boundaries put in place. Once an adoptee is an adult, he may choose to move back in with an abusive family member. Sad, yes, but that emotional connection will not be severed just because they moved to a different home. The urge to reconnect is real and no regulation is going to stop it.
It is amazing that this story came out the same day that Facebook saved (literally) a wrongfully deported child. See our story on this here.
This is an interesting statistic from the story: “Research by the British Association for Adoption and Fostering found that 53 per cent of adopted children have used unofficial means, including Facebook, to trace birth parents.” The government and social authorities and agencies want to regulate contact SO MUCH, don’t they? They go on to say “”Unplanned and unsupported communication, contact and reunions between adoptive and birth families via Facebook and other social networking sites has already had a dramatic effect on adoption.” Oh, boo hoo!
Questionable Case to Highlight
“In one case a teenage brother and sister ran away from home and cut all ties with their adoptive parents after their birth mum contacted them on Facebook.
They are now still both living with her hundreds of miles from where they were brought up after being adopted as toddlers.”
How do we know that this is bad?They don’t say if the birthmother was abusive or not. Maybe her circumstances have changed for the better (no longer on drugs, kicked an abusive partner out or a myriad of other possibilities.) If it is a criminal act, then why aren’t police involved?If the kids are in danger, why aren’t the cops or Social services involved? Or are these teens now 18 and 19 aka ADULTS? It sounds more like adoptive parents whining because of a cutoff in contact.
birthfamily! any of them should ever make peace with birth family or mend broken relationships (with boundaries and good counselors in place)!REFORM Puzzle Pieces
Contact among those affected by adoption needs reform. Adults should be able to act like adults without needing a government nanny’s permission or oversight. Boundaries and counseling may be necessary. This is not an all-or-nothing concept that should be forced on all situations.
The hysteria that adoption authorities and the industry make surrounding contact and the need for others to insert themselves into families leaves one suspect of the integrity of the placement.
It's just much ado about nothing. Some AP's have got their knickers in a knot. If there was a serious risk then the AP's weren't doing their job protecting their child by allowing them on a wide open facebook page. Even teenagers accounts can be locked down by the parent. If as I suspect it is ADULT adoptees (must always protray adoptees as adopted children and under 10 preferred) then as adults they are free to friend or send friend requests to anyone they wish on facebook.