Blog-Gag-Me
Readers have sent us (and we have happened upon) so many adoption blogs and blog entries that are offensive, dangerous set-ups for the children, unethical, illegal and/or crazy that it exceeds our FacePalm capacity. We invite anyone to add to our list and we encourage you to use our red flags and child collector numbers as you reference your entry.
Find the Red flags here and the Child Collector numbers here
The symbols explain why the particular blog or blog entry is of concern if it isn’t already obvious.
These are the lost causes. We would like to prevent these high risk placements by showcasing real situations.
One-RAD pops up as a 12-year-old
Despite this post’s conclusion that they are NOT Saviors, this post likens typical pre-teen to teen behavior to RAD. They explain that “Up until the age of 12, Natalie was very typical….happy, funny, silly, and care-free. She had a spark in her eyes….life in her eyes.
http://the30dayjourneyforhope.blogspot.com/2013/03/reactive-attachment-disorderi-hate-you.html
Behaviors related to the devil is an adjunct to 
Two-Emergency Funding for Chinese Girl About to Age Out
Reece’s Rainbow , of course
http://4girls4christ.com/reeces-rainbow-china-emergency-find-shaina-a-family/
Three-Second Part of this ethics Conversation is a continuous FacePalm
Jen has been praised for her supposed stance on ethics, but true colors show as she praises her AWAA rep. The fudging of the 18 million double-orphans living in ONLY orphanages or the streets promotes the very thing she claims to be against. She attempts to qualify the 153 million number but not enough. There is NOWHERE near this number that “need” adoption let alone international adoption. TWO million in orphanages with the majority having family. That is the statistic.
She can’t fathom that international baby adoption is STILL very fraught with trafficking. She can’t imagine social workers or adoption agencies have “sinister motives”, especially ones she personally knows! Her advice on checking out agencies is to ASK THE AGENCY. WORST. ADVICE. EVER.
Her red flags include the bizarre “An agency that offers something different than other agencies.” “An agency that offers the same thing for much less money. ” “An agency that claims to have special connections or processes in country.” [ALL agencies have special connections! ALL. How do you think they could begin operations!] “Payments without receipts (common in Eastern European adoptions).“[Why do you think this is common and only in one part of the world?]
Adoption agencies should not be involved with developing countries. They do not have the expertise and have a MAJOR conflict of interest.
Lastly, the US government couldn’t care less about ethics of any adoption. Read the Guatemala cables. Read the Vietnam cables..you know the country that is re-opening to US adoptions!
http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/05/20/examining-adoption-ethics-part-two
She diminishes ALL 
. We currently list 55 and she doesn’t even begin to delve into the underlying issues of corrupt adoptions.
Four-It Doesn’t Take a Hero, Just someone as fabulous as me!
http://theblessingofverity.com/2013/05/it-doesnt-take-a-hero-special-needs-adoption-q-a/
“God gives some parents the resources that are needed to adopt several disabled children at once.” Though the blogger did not adopt multiple children at once (and she seemingly cannot comprehend why this is a high risk), she promotes it.
The blogger has 11 kids in a 3-bedroom house.
Five-Author of the “The Answer to the Global Orphan Crisis is Adoption”
http://wrightadoptionfund.wordpress.com/2013/05/16/plan-b/
The blog is full of Savior mentality , fundraising and getting the “official” referrals of three teenagers after already getting referrals (not to mention the Justin Bieber shirts GAG!). Two are sisters adopted within months of the first adoption.
Six-Praising of CCI
Two children closely adopted as infants from CCI (hague-DENIED agency). Need I say more? They “advocate for the orphan” are are related to the Ordinary Hero founder.
So many gag-worthy pages, so little time:
1)Lisa Qualls, who works for Dr Karyn Purvis as an “expert” on kids from “hard places” shipped her adopted daughter “Dimples” who supposedly has RAD off to the ghastly, unlicensed Montana Ranch for Kids, where there are no on-site licensed medical professionals from whom the girl could receive treatment. Her “trauma mama” followers praise her bravery for having done so:
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/visiting-dimples/
2) Laurel D has her own “ministry” and offers advice to amoms of big families despite the fact that she alienated most of her adult biokids, disrupted 1 adoption and shipped 1 adopted kid off to the ghastly Ranch in Montana:
http://musingsofamentormom.blogspot.com
http://www.ourjourneyoffaith.net/2011/06/estrangement-in-relationships.html
3) Mary McCarthy caters to the whims of her adopted kid under the guise of “therapeutic parenting” – no school for little Z**! The traumatized little darling doesn’t need the “pressure” of going to school every day or “pressure to learn” to read because it’s not an especially critical life skill. Or to (horrors!!) have to get up every morning and go to school… you know, like 6 yr olds are legally required to on a daily basis.
http://www.findingmagnolia.com/2013/06/thoughts-on-school.html
Really, truly believing she’s soooo special that she should be allowed to violate hospital rules (siblings aren’t allowed to stay overnight in the ICU when the sick kid has a communicable, potentially very dangerous infection; no, you aren’t entitled to break this rule because your kid happens to be adopted).
http://www.findingmagnolia.com/2013/07/therapeutic-parenting-balance-structure.html
4)Barb Aloot figures that if you go to enough doctors, eventually you’ll find one that will agree with your armchair diagnosis, give you the referral you want, buy into your crackpot theory that little Y**’s clumsiness is not due to be a toddler learning to walk, but to TRAUMA!
http://zelalaland.blogspot.com/2013/07/finally.html
5)Lindsay Crapo adopted 5 chalks up all bad behaviour on the part of her kids (5 of whom are unrelated and simultaneously adopted from Haiti; 2 more unrelated from foster care) to trauma and RAD and escalates teeny-tiny little things, such as one of her kids “defiantly” handing an (identical) ice cream cone to a different sibling that the one amommy tells him to:
http://homeasoftplacetofall.blogspot.com/2012/05/to-whom-it-may-concern.html
And yet merrily insists that her son’s annual attempt to kill the family by stuffing things into the furnace is NOT a big deal, unworthy of say, calling the cops or CPS or a child psychiatrist because it is SO NOT NORMAL and BEYOND THE BOUNDS of acceptable behaviour to have a kid, even a traumatised one, pull this sort of stunt without any consequences:
http://homeasoftplacetofall.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-day-my-son-tried-to-blow-us-up-for.html
If the Trauma Mama blogosphere insists that so many adoptees have RAD (which they claim includes horrible symptoms and prognoses not found in DSM-IV), why don’t these parents and “professionals” advise adopting one kid at a time, then getting that child therapeutically-parented out out of RAD and stable BEFORE STARTING your next adoption?
Are bribes being paid to expedite the adoption of a hosted Ukrainian child?
“So much has happened in the past 11 days, it doesn’t seem real at all. It feels more like several months have gone by since we got the emergency phone call that our child was in peril. The only people who will really understand the magnitude of what has happened in these 11 days are those in the adoption community who fully understand the government process. The rest of you will just have to take my word for it that these events are rare and truly amazing.
In the middle of the night on day 1, we were standing outside in our driveway at 3am on the phone with our facilitator in D’s country begging her for help to get our child out of a terrible situation she was trapped in. She sprang into action to help us. While we were talking to her, Brett said “I would be in country tomorrow if we didn’t have governments standing in our way.” She said, “Are you willing to commit to a child who will have the challenges she will have?” Brett said, “Yes. Without question.” She replied, “Ok, you get me the Immigration approval from your government that we’re waiting on, and I will get you here sometime in the next 1-3 weeks.” Whhaaaaaatt??! We both looked at each other in shock. There were still 2-3 months left of the adoption process left. How could it ever happen that fast? It was impossible. But we had to try!”
http://summer4anastasia.wordpress.com/2013/07/06/mountains-melt-like-wax/
Because if an adopted child shows signs of mental illness, it MUST be RAD. How many kids are having their real illnesses go untreated because of the RAD culture?
Messiah complex:
“These children need to be rescued and they need people who have been given God’s passion to do it. People who have answered “Yes” to go where he has called. It might mean a journey across the ocean”
http://theforbesfive.blogspot.com/2013/07/what-is-your-passion.html
APs who fundraised 100% of adoption costs, got 2 high needs special needs kids home only to discover the medical costs for said Bulgarian kids are very, very high… and the family cannot afford them without intervention from a supernatural being, like Reece’s Rainbow’s very own Ashley Linnea.
Why on earth did USCIS allow this family to adopt? Especially since CPS has investigated them for medical neglect more than once!!
“Misha needs an MRI and lots more medical appointments. He will need to be on one drug round the clock for life. We are praying the medical will betaken care of. Each bill comes in higher than the last but God is faithful. ”
http://continuingourjourney.blogspot.com/2013/07/medical-week-day-3.htm
Waaaaahhhh!! Not enough perfectly healthy newborns for a nearly-50 yr old to adopt! Adoption is sooooo expensive!!
“There aren’t many birth mothers out there, apparently. It’s a slow season for births. There are nearly 35 families waiting in our agency and there have only been 10 profiles to see in the last year. Every one of them has been an agony of hope and despair. Sometimes, we have to say no. History of depression with bi-polar disease on both sides of the family. Alcoholism. Heroin addiction. We feel awful turning down these profiles when there are so few to see. But we think of Lucy (biological daughter) She might be around a lot longer than we are.”
http://glutenfreegirl.com/2013/07/a-hungry-heart/
Name,
I don’t think it’s wrong for a PAP to express angst over the long wait for a healthy newborn or a newborn with a correctable defect. She doesn’t seem to be giving off an entitlement vibe to me. She knows the score; there aren’t enough of such babies to fill the demand, and she accepts it.
It’s when they rail that they were gypped when a mother decides NOT to surrender, or whine about women who get abortions rather than voluntarily act as unpaid surrogate mothers for PAPs that sticks in my craw. Just sayin’.
“There are tons of other ways you can help we appreciate everything. I know many of you don’t understand about international adoption and the need for fundraising but I can tell you from first hand experience how badly these kids need families. The orphan crisis has reached epidemic proportions and kids need homes especially the kids that we are adopting that have special needs. Please ask if you have any questions! ”
“Now comes the help part since I now have 5 kids at home 2 with special needs I can’t fundraise like I did last time:( I don’t have time to make crafts and things so I need help…….I’m begging for it. I’m going to list a few things we would like help with.
1. Car wash, this doesn’t have to be local only you can do one wherever you are and donate the money to our tax deductible acct. We do want to have one here too possibly more than one after school starts we will need help when we do it!
2. Save your change!!! We collect all our change and when the jar is full take it to coin star
3. Things for online auctions. If you have anything you can give me to auction off that’s awesome please do the best things are easy to mail. Stuff like jewelry, gift cards, boutique kids clothing, nice purses, small home decor.
4. Yard sale. I want to have one but will have to find a place to do one of you have stuff to donate for a yard sale I am happy to take it or you can have a yard sale at your house and just donate the proceeds!!!!
5. Friends with kids….. If you have nice clothing your kids have outgrown consider selling it to once upon a child or at a resale shop and donating the proceeds to us!!!!
http://buildingourfamilythroughlove.blogspot.com/2013/07/need-help-from-local-friends.html
She doesn’t have time to fundraise, but she expects to have time to nurture and attach to an older child with special needs? How does THAT work?
I think this is officially the most horrible thing I’ve ever come across – a Pakistani game show in which folks compete to win a baby (!!!):
http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/29/world/asia/pakistan-baby-giveaway/index.html
PAPs with overentitlement issues like the lovely Whitney, who continues to refer to her ex-Russian referral as “her” kid, despite having no legal claim to her whatsoever. She also charmingly wants our government to set all issues with Russia aside so she can get that lil orphan (whose likely been adopted by somebody else by now). And expects Russia to ignore all the dead / abused Russian-born kids by their US APs, US treaty violations and to simply lift the ban with nada changes.
She’s also decided to adopt a Chinese kid with DS in the meantime.
http://amiracleformeg.blogspot.com/2013/08/an-updatesort-of.html
I am the Whitney referred to in the above comment. I take great offense to your words. I have done nothing wrong and don’t understand the need for constant scrutiny through negative and contrary websites like this one. Yes, I continue to refer to my referral (who, by the way, is not my ex-referral. We have never received any notification that our referral is cancelled) as my kid. I understand fully that she is not legally my child. She is, however, my child in my heart. I feel deep love for her and also a great obligation to make sure she does not end up in a mental institution. Yes, I’m sick of the politics that are keeping her from having a family. No, she has not been adopted. If she were to be adopted by a loving family anywhere in the world, I’d be ecstatic. She deserves a family, not an institution. I’d MUCH rather have her in a family than waiting for us in an orphanage. The fact that there has never been an adoption of a child with Down syndrome from her region remains, however. She is very, very unlikely to find a home. It’s devastating to think of any child having to remain in her circumstances simply because of politics. It’s not entitlement on my part. It, in fact, has nothing to do with me. It’s about HER. As a website that claims to be for the child, I would think y’all would understand that.
And, yes, we have decided to adopt a Chinese kid with Ds in the meantime. What’s wrong with that and what’s it to you??
I would hope fellow adoptive parents would be more empathetic and compassionate. As Thumper taught us, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all!”
Whitney,
Re: “… No, she has not been adopted….”
How do you know that?
Re: “… As Thumper taught us, “If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all!”…”
Wrongs and bad practices can’t be righted without drawing attention to them by talking ABOUT them. PAPs believing that children in another country are “theirs” by magical fiat without regards to legalities leads to a mindset that enables participation in child trafficking and corruption, on the grounds that no action is too extreme if it’s “needed” to “rescue” a child you’ve decided is “yours”.
Deciding to pursue an adoption of a surrendered Chinese child with Downs syndrome is a healthy reaction to the Russian adoption ban; insisting that the Russian child you wished to adopt is “yours” regardless isn’t.
Even then, falling in love with a photograph is a very bad reason for pursuing an adoption, and it can lead to tragedy for all concerned. Please read Renee Garcia’s ‘The Stormy Side of the Rainbow’ and consider how things might have turned out differently if a social worker or child psychologist had matched them with an orphan whose needs fit with what the Garcia family had to offer.
http://www.myspecialks.com/2013/02/the-stormy-side-of-rainbow.html
Astrin,
Re: “How do you know that?”
She is still on the database. I have other ways of finding out as well, but wouldn’t disclose that to you. Certainly nothing illegal, however. She hasn’t had a single inquiry. Neither have any of the other kids with Down syndrome who met PAP’s from the U.S. One went home with a birth family, but other than that single one, none have families. They all remain institutionalized. I won’t pretend you care, but this is an enormously difficult and emotional situation. I’m, naturally, sad that she isn’t part of my family. More than that, though, I’m worried sick for her future. Without a family, her prospects in Russia are grim. I have done not a single thing that resembles child trafficking or corruption and resent the implication that you need to point out my blog to right bad practices.
Re: The rest of your post
I have done nothing wrong, therefore you have nothing to point out. Simply calling her “my child’, as I stated in my previous comment, comes from a place of love. I know she is not legally mine, but I am connected to her through love and will fight for her right to a family. If that family is not mine, so be it. I will be thrilled she has a family regardless. Just because I love and care for a child that I was legally referred to, met with, bonded with, and love does not give you the right to post terrible things about me.
Not that it’s any of your business, but I went to Russia on a blind referral. I did not pre select this child. Therefore, I happen to know for a fact that, at least in my specific region, there was no social worker or child psychologist that matched us. She was matched with us because of her diagnosis and age. Period. The child I am adopting from China is on a Waiting Child list. There is limited personality and medical information about him, but more than I had with my legal Russian referral! China has reviewed our file and agreed we will be a fit, so I don’t think you need to worry about that. Thank SO much for your concern, though.
My understanding is the Russian database is updated quarterly. So it’s still within the realm of possibility that little Dasha/Meg has been adopted, even if her pic is still on the website.
There’s also the little matter of a photo of a Russian girl with DS (not Dasha/Meg) still being posted on Whitney’s blog… despite the whole it is illegal to post pics of a Russian kid you’ve not claim to unless you are the Russian government.
Whitney,
Re: “…I have other ways of finding out as well, but wouldn’t disclose that to you. Certainly nothing illegal, however…”
If you won’t disclose these “other ways” that makes it hard to believe that they’re truly aboveboard, especially given that Russia has strict confidentiality laws for children in state care, and justly or not, the Dima Yakovlev Law means you no longer meet Russian requirements to adopt. Therefore, you no longer have the legal right to receive updates about her.
Re: “…does not give you the right to post terrible things about me…”
Um… I didn’t post anything terrible about YOU; I was speaking in the abstract of the negative consequences of the “God ordained that this child is MINE” meme. No, you haven’t done anything illegal by insisting she’s “yours”. But neither have proponents of adoption reform by pointing out the entitlement ideology implicit in such an extralegal insistence.
Whitney – A few months back, you blogged that 99 of the approx 230 Russian kids who’d met their potential American PAPs had already been adopted domestically, returned to their biofamilies or adopted by other foreign nationals. More recent news reports indicate that 116 of those kids now have families:
http://rapsinews.com/news/20130723/268290707.html
This clearly demonstrates that Russian kids (including those with disabilities) are indeed finding families in Russia (and the stipends paid to local families are no different than the stipends paid to US families who foster/adopt US foster kids). So it’s entirely possible your ex-referral is happily living with a family.
In terms of “politics”, there’s the little matter that the US violated the adoption treaty with Russia first and has failed to address Russia’s legitimate and longstanding concerns regarding the welfare of their kids in this countries. The actions of *our* politicians contributed *significantly* to the Russian ban – heck, our politicians haven’t been willing to concede that the US hasn’t addressed Russia’s concerns (the US lady who dumped her no longer wanted Russian twins on an orphanage doorstep in St Petersberg last year, Torry Hansen-style; Russian-born kids still residing at the unlicensed Ranch for Kids, 400+ missing kids aka missinv mamdatory post-placement reports, RR’s very own dead russian kid, Nicolai Emelyentsev, etc) or offered to do anything besides non-blindingly provide more info to Russian officials on adopted russian kids. The fact that the treaty requires that Russian officials be granted consular access to these kids (and routinely IS NOT and WAS NOT granted, as individual states never signed onto the treaty so said treaty CANNOT be enforced) escapes your and Michelle Bachmann and the nice Dark Matter of Love directir’s mention.
It is rather ironic that your association with RR’s “ministry” and demands that you be allowed that particular kid pretty much guarantee that you will never, ever get to adopt her. Ditto your buddy Katrina Morriss. It blows my mind that you’d rather tilt at windmills/elected officials than rationally demand your government hold up its end of the adoption treaty and screen PAPs better – you know, actions that would actually address Russia’s legit concerns and just might persuade them to lift the ban.
Carlee, I don’t even know how to respond. You spout the same nonsense every. single. time. It makes it easy to track who you are, though! I would think your attitude would be quite different if it were YOUR child stuck in Russia, don’t you think??
You people are idiots and think you know everyone’s story. Whitney did not fall in love with a photo. She was matched with a child and then travelled to meet the child. And we know our children haven’t been adopted because we are in contact with the orphanages. These caregivers care about the children and do not want them sent to institutions. If you are so stupid as to believe everything Pavel says in news articles that ia your problem. We know what is going on in Russia because we are im contact with people there who beg for these children to find h
omg carlee+friends, you are so silly! why are you so certain we haven’t demanded that the us gov hold up their end of the bilateral? hmmm?
we have demanded until we are blue in the face. we have offered to bypass our gov and enter legally binding contracts with russia to give them post placement access, etc. (this has been in the news, so I know you know about it). if you have any other ideas about how we, as paps, might break the logjam, I’m all ears.
and unless you are far less intelligent than I give you credit for you also know full well that by in large it is not the children with ds and other major sns who are being placed with non-american families. in fact, the reaction from the pipeline paps of the three kids with sns who have been adopted/gone home with birth family despite the ban has been has one of tremendous relief (and this is also in the news and on public blogs, not that those are posted here, funny) it’s. not. about. us. we want better for these children whom we met and care about than life in institutions, and it doesn’t have to be with us, but we know that while the ban stands the chances of anything else for *these particular kids* is very small. and so do you. and that is a tragedy *for the kids* that should not be mocked by anyone who claims to be interested in the best interests of children.
Another Pipeline PAP: The binding contracts you’ve offered to sign? Aren’t actually legally binding. It’s a STRUCTURAL issue, as the US federal government cannot assure the implementation of an international obligation in EVERY part of the US territory. PAPs signing an un-legally enforceable piece of paper promising access to their Russian-born kid doesn’t address Russia’s concern.
I too care about kids and truly believe they belong in families and not in institutions, Russian or otherwise. International adoption can be a wonderful option, as a VERY VERY LAST RESORT for some kids who cannot find loving homes in their native lands.
Lots of Russian kids have been abused by their supposedly well-screened American adoptive parents — at *rates* that are significantly higher than those of Russian kids adopted by other countries. I don’t blame Russia one bit for imposing the adoption ban because of the LEGITIMATE concerns they have raised that remain unaddressed. It sucks that you will not get to adopt the kid you met and fell in love with. But I don’t have it in me to blame *Russia* for wanting their kid adopted by a family in a country that is less *likely* to harm them, i.e. not an American family.
carlee-
“International adoption can be a wonderful option, as a VERY VERY LAST RESORT for some kids who cannot find loving homes in their native lands.”
agreed. do you have some other option for the children with medical needs which make then all but unadoptable in russia and are disallowed by the health care systems in most other nations?
“Lots of Russian kids have been abused by their supposedly well-screened American adoptive parents — at *rates* that are significantly higher than those of Russian kids adopted by other countries.”
this is untrue. the *number* of children adopted from russia and then abused is, very tragically, higher, but the *rate* is not. absolutely, positively, any abuse is unacceptable, but the rate of abuse and re-abandonment in american adoptive families is also lower than in russian adoptive families as well as in russian foster families and institutional care . . . especially for kids with sns (http://changeonelife.ru/2012/08/24/krovavyiy-schet-ne-v-nashu-polzu-gibel-detey-v-priemnyih-semyah-mifyi-i-realnost/).
“The binding contracts you’ve offered to sign? Aren’t actually legally binding. It’s a STRUCTURAL issue, as the US federal government cannot assure the implementation of an international obligation in EVERY part of the US territory. PAPs signing an un-legally enforceable piece of paper promising access to their Russian-born kid doesn’t address Russia’s concern.”
again, agreed. got a better idea? that will help the kids, like the very sick little one I was referred, met and love, who are in the system right now? I wish this child could remain in russia and thrive (and I contribute a substantial amount on a regular basis to organizations that work at educating, supporting and providing medical care to russian families in crisis), but that is extraordinarily unlikely at present and the necessary change will take decades, if not generations. so what would you do in my shoes?
it is callous and intellectually dishonest to imply that if the ugly american paps would get off their pedestals of entitlement all would be well for the disabled orphans of russia. there is a structural problem. a big one. us-russian adoptions are far from perfect – far even from good. they are also better than any of the other alternatives available now, or in the near-enough future, for many russian orphans.
There are a TON of problems with the US foster care system (extensively detailed on this website and at poundpuplegacy.org). There are the equivalent of laying rooms in the US, right now – heck, the Justice Dept is working to get a bunch of American foster kids out of *nursing**homes* in Florida- American kids not getting the education to which they’re entitled, not bathed very often, nothing to do but state at the ceiling, 23.5 hrs per day, everyday:
http://globalnews.ca/news/736916/us-justice-department-sues-florida-for-segregating-children-with-disabilities-into-nursing-homes/
It’s appalling! A total injustice! I think we can agree that we CAN and SHOULD be doing better by our kids and that our foster care system desperately needs to be reformed, yes? Is foster care reform happening fast enough in the US? Of course not, but we do not let foreigners adopt *our* kids because reform isn’t happening fast enough. There are American kids, today, in laying rooms in Florida. What is being done about them in the meantime? Is the Floridian kid with disabilities less valuable than the Russian one you fell in love with??
Russia’s system is far from perfect when it comes to child welfare – but so is ours. Russia’s working (too slowly) on fixing their system – just like we are. So, no, you aren’t entitled to a Russian kid (nor is the lovely Whitney) simply because desperately needed reforms to the Russian child’s welfare system are happening far too slowly.
What to do in your shows? Probably a lot like what you’ve been doing — getting in touch with my elected officials, offering to sign non-binding little agreements, urging my govt to not violate the adoption treaty. I do like to think I wouldn’t adamantly insist the little Russian kid I’d met and fallen in love with was not 100% doomed to a miserable institutionalized life — given that a Russian orphan (even ones with special needs) has other, significantly less dire options.
If I were Whitney, in particular, I’d rethink the association with an ethically challenged adoption “ministry” that has, at minimum, violated Russian law by illegally photolisting kids and encouraging folks to illegally preselect them (just google “trouble in st Petersberg” emails to see Hand in Hand adoption agency’s take on the debacle).
Carlee,
I agree with your string of comments on this issue especially with after-the-fact protests of PAPs. These PAPs were not protesting PRIOR to the ban for our legal system to punish the abusers and murderers.
Your comment about letting foreigners adopt US kids is incorrect, though, especially when it comes to Florida. Two examples: Florida sends kids from the foster system and newborns abroad. Ireland gets newborns. Canada adopts many from foster care in Florida. I don’t think it is a coincidence that Florida, so corrupt in its foster care system-they lost hundreds of kids! is also involved in international adoptions.
carlee re:obsession with the rainbow charity: one of the russian charities I support, and another whose website I linked in an earlier comment, regularly post photos, year of birth and anecdotal info about kids who are available for adoption (both domestic and international). is your position that it is ok for russian charities to do this, but not for us ones? and if so, where do you find this distinction in russian law?
and please do elaborate on these other ‘significantly less dire options.’ because I have spent the last seven+ months turning every, every, every stone I can discover and can find absolutely nothing else for a child with this dx in this city and neither can anyone I have talked to, in the us, canada, europe or russia, either. truly and non-rhetorically, if you know of something, please share it.
“nothing else for a child with this dx in this city”-which diagnosis in which city?
Another Pipeline PAP: According to Russian law, photolistings by anybody other than the Ministry of Education are ILLEGAL.
See for yourself. The website is in Russian but google will translate it to English for you:
http://www.usynovite.ru/documents/federal/legislative/kodecsrf/
According to Family Code of the Russian Federation, Chapter 19, Section 126. 1 Inadmissibility of Mediation in Child Adoption
“A. Intermediary services for child adoption, that is, any activity of others in order of selection and transfer of children for adoption on behalf of and for persons wishing to adopt children is NOT ALLOWED.”
This means selection (IE: pre-identification of children by an organization other than the authorized government authority….Ministry of Education) is illegal. Meaning photo listings and organizations that allow families to identify a specific child they want to adopt is absolutely illegal and not allowed in Russia
(Hat tip to Rebecca J, who found this info).
The State Department department concurrs, as per the steps to adopt a Russian kid – notice the process doesn’t include pick a kid off a photolisting or waiting child site. The Russian government *must* match you with a kid, *after* you’ve completed a Homestudy:
http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=russia
“The steps are:
1. Choose an Adoption Service Provider
2. Apply to be Found Eligible to Adopt
3. Be Matched with a Child
If you are eligible to adopt, and a child is available for intercountry adoption, the central adoption authority in Russia will provide you with a referral to a child. Each family must decide for itself whether or not it will be able to meet the needs of a particular child and provide a permanent family placement for the referred child”.
Interestingly, Whitney and RR PAP Katrina Morriss both announced they were adopting “Meg” and “Carlene” *prior* to having completed a Homestudy, let alone sent it to Russia to be translated/registered/formally issued a referral:
http://amiracleformeg.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-test-of-patience.html
http://operationorphannomore.blogspot.com/2011/08/daughter-of-king.html
Susan Johnson, the Russia Program Director at Hand in Hand Adoption Agency sent the following message to her Russia PAP clients last year — and, well, she seems to think the photolistings are illegal too:
“We are all indebted to Reece’s Rainbow for providing an avenue in bringing the needs of these special children to our attention, there are not enough words to express our gratitude. However, RR should not be mentioned in your documents, home study, on the Internet or to anyone while in Russia, because your child’s medical condition and availability is extremely private and can be only legally displayed on the Russian data bank website.
Any information provided by Elena, Alyona or a volunteer about your adoptive child is absolutely unofficial, only after you’ve been registered is it permissible for Elena or Alyona to obtain information on the child’s health status and location. If “The Committee” in St. Petersburg or the “Moscow Department of Education” were to get wind of what they are doing they would not only shut them down but worst case scenario face criminal charges. I don’t mean to scare you, but you need to be aware of the situation and I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t mention this to you from time to time. Remember that we need to uphold and respect Russia’s customs and laws while undergoing the adoption process and while we are visitors in their country. These are their precious children that they are allowing us to take halfway around the world never be seen again, and when considering the “alleged” scandals and atrocities perpetrated against Russian adoptees that have occurred here in this country, they are justified in their skepticism and in the demands that they place upon us no matter how nonsensical they may seem to us as Americans.
By know you’ve all heard about the problems that we are dealing with in St. Petersburg.
I’ve been dealing with this for two days now and it’s been very difficult. Somehow the Russian’s found out about Reeces Rainbow through a Russian chat group (the details are very convoluted) and knew that a family was coming to visit their adoptive child due to the FSB button on their sponsorship page which I understand takes you directly to the child’s RR listing. This is against everything that I’ve been telling our families, the rule of thumb is that if you can locate a child on the Russian data bank through information that is listed on your blog, then according to the Russian government you are breaking the law and will not be allowed to adopt.”
http://theadoptionspotlight.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/reeces-rainbow-the-trouble-in-saint-petersburg-email-from-hand-in-hand/
another pipeline pap,
Re: “… do you have some other option for the children with medical needs which make then all but unadoptable in russia and are disallowed by the health care systems in most other nations?…”
How about starting a charity to meet the medical and/or educational needs of these children in country– whether they’re in an orphanage, foster home, domestically adopted, or in the care of their birthfamilies?
Not only are parents more likely to adopt special needs children if they know there are resources available to pay for what they can’t, but birthfamilies are less likely to surrender them in the first place.
astrin- charities such as you mention do exist in russia. I applaud them, already regularly contribute to two of them and do think that change is coming…slowly, slowly. (and a new charity started by an american right now would hardly be efficient or effective.)
carlee- I am well aware of the travesty that is the foster care system and I have no issue with american kids being adopted internationally if they cannot be placed in the us (and thank you rally for being honest enough to point out that this does happen more than is generally understood).
both of these comments are, as rally is fond of saying, strawmen. no charity will effect enough change fast enough to result in a decent life for more than a tiny, tiny minority of the russian orphans with sns *in the system right now*. nor does the fact that children in the us sometimes suffer similar tragedies make the suffering of russian kids ok.
*child-centered* placements, in my mind, are those that consider the good of each individual child separately and *do not* sacrifice individual children to politics, ideology or the promise of future systemic overhauls. the situation with us-russia adoptions, at the very least in the case of children with significant sns, is absolutely is not child-centered. not at all.
another pipeline pap,
Re: “…. no charity will effect enough change fast enough to result in a decent life for more than a tiny, tiny minority of the russian orphans with sns *in the system right now*…”
Isn’t that even MORE true of international adoption?
The money spent on each individual adoption from Russia is a very inefficient use of resources, since so much of it goes to the immigration systems of both countries– and the pockets of various adoption agency executives. Applying the same money currently being “crowdfunded” to complete adoptions to American PAPs directly to meeting disabled kids needs would therefore help a lot MORE kids than international adoption can.
I’m not saying that no one should adopt internationally. If a couple really wants to parent a child, then choosing to adopt a surrendered kid with special needs is an admirable way to add to their family. But let’s not kid ourselves that international adoption to America is a cost-effective way to dispense charity to disabled kids in other countries, because it’s not.
“It sucks that you will not get to adopt the kid you met and fell in love with.”
yea. whatever. I can take my marbles and adopt a different child whom I am confident I can also love. plenty of potential joy on the horizon for *me*. but that doesn’t change the fact that there is a little russian out there who doesn’t, and in all likelihood will never, get to call anyone mama (or receive adequate medical treatment, education or even nutrition).
which is why I haven’t taken my marbles somewhere else.
and why I will continue to press everyone and anyone with any influence or power to resolve this clusterf*** in a child-centered way.
EXACTLY, another pipeline pap! Exactly.
Whitney – “Meg” is your ex-referral because Ombudman Astakhov has publically stated, on behalf of the Russian government that the issue of American adoptions is “closed because there is no process” a few months back. This was also conveyed to American officials at a meeting with Russian officials in mid-April 2013:
http://en.rian.ru/russia/20130627/181902103.html
Also, Whitney Barrus Stephens, your public Facebook profile pic is a darling pic of little Dasha/Meg — in violation of Russian law!
ooo! ooo! look at the self-centered, entitled pap . . . oh wait, never mind. . .
“At the end of June we learned some news about our adoption that was very surprising but is ultimately good news, we think: the biological family has stepped forward and is planning to take “our” little boy back to live with them.
It took us some time to wrap our minds around this very unexpected development, but at this point we feel that though it is a loss for us, it is definitely a gain for him. To live with his own parents and his younger brother could very well be the best possible outcome. ” http://adoptingmatters.blogspot.com/2013/07/our-russian-adoption-end-and-to-be.html
carlee re:photolisting- intersting. I wonder why russian charities are not censured when in violation of these regs.
rally/carlee/astrin/other frequent commenters – curious why so little mention of the second ban on russian adoptions in recent months. do you view adoption of russian children by singles, who might (must!) be (gasp!) homosexual (else why,why, why would they be single?!?) as reasonable as well?
We have the other bans as part of our Law post at https://reformtalk.net/2013/01/01/dima-yakovlev-law-and-proposed-amendment/ starting around update 23…you will have to scroll down quite a bit.The reason we mention the overall ban is because bloggers and politicians keep bringing it up weekly.
Russia can do whatever it likes and has never wanted homosexuals to adopt which is why they threw a conniption fit over this case: https://reformtalk.net/2013/01/22/russian-adoptee-custody-case/ This case is what caused this ban to happen. I am for truly representing yourself when you adopt and the fact is most countries have historically never allowed homosexuals to adopt. When you lie, you risk shutting down the entire country.
As for “reasonable response” for Russia, we anticipated this and cautioned people to not do Russia adoptions in May 2012 https://reformtalk.net/2012/05/19/reform-talk-notice-do-not-start-a-russian-adoption/ US has not cared for years about prosecuting adoptive parents who abuse and kill. We knew at some point things would end.
International adoption has always been high-risk with no contract ever guaranteeing placement so it always astonishes me when people are so shocked that a country closes. Corruption of the adoption industry on US and foreign side is why countries close.
Rally does make a great point about adoption being a contract of illusion where the agency or the plan to adopt changes for reasons that are totally unexpected. Or the agency is blatantly making promises they can’t keep.
That’s why it’s so important to do due diligence on the agency, the country, the program. It’s not always the PAP being dishonest. Sometimes it’s the facilitators or the agency too.
For instance, in the past five years, I’ve seen multiple agency mergers and bankruptcies. Entire countries closed to adoption. Even saw one agency lose a lawsuit and they could not obtain liability insurance and closed for that reason. It’s a gamble.
There are lessons to learn.
It’s terrible when it happens and that’s a good reason for this blog’s very existence – to tell PAPs what the agency’s won’t.
Yes, PAPs get attached to the ideal of adoption, a particular child but nothing is 100% certain.
That’s not a very good recruitment pitch but it’s reality.
well answered. tho pipeline paps impacted by the ban began long before may 2012.
But I had never seen them protesting all the lax or no sentencing for Russian abused and killed adoptees. PoundPup Legacy has been around for quite a long time tracking cases as have several other entities. Ample information has been available on the internet for at least a decade
It’s important to remember that children adopted from Russia retain their Russian citizenship. Russia retains an interest in these children even after a finalized adoption.
I don’t recall the exact date that TN adoptive mother put her son on a plane with a rejection letter pinned to his jacket but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Rally’s mention of the documented cases of Russian adoptee murders was the lead up to the closure and those cases go back at least a decade. The Ranch where adoptees are left for marginal treatment is the other nail in the coffin.
If there is a finger to point, there were multiple offender US agencies who didn’t comply with post-placement follow-up and Russia decided to change the terms of IA adoption of their citizens. The other finger to point is APs who abused or neglected adoptees who are dual US/Russian citizens.
In international adoption, the sending country decides what’s best for their adoptable citizens and sometimes that country decides that a corrupt adoption program isn’t best for these kids. Or the country may decide that domestic placement is best for these citizens.
What the US agency thinks is best for children in other countries is secondary in IA adoption.
Pleasant, it is not. Part of the perils of IA, you bet.
And the 400 missing Russian adoptees in the US didn’t help either.https://reformtalk.net/2011/01/28/400-russian-adoption-disruptions-in-the-us/ That was well known in early 2011. Torry was April 2010 and though that was highly publicized, that is not the first child to be returned to Russia. People adopting from Ukraine should also take heed as the authorities there know full well what groups like Reece’s Rainbow is doing and it is only a matter of time before that shuts down too.
Abuse cases like Jessica Bigley was late 2010 as well https://reformtalk.net/2011/01/23/russian-ombudsman-investigates-another-child-abuse-casechristoph-beagley-updated/
A very publicized death case was Nathaniel Craver from 2009 https://reformtalk.net/2011/02/26/how-could-you-hall-of-shame-nathaniel-craver-updated-child-death/
Reece’s Rainbow case of Nicolai Emelyantsev 2008 http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/15831
We addressed a Russian case of Reece’s and the issues with IA and special needs children back in March 2011 https://reformtalk.net/2011/03/31/russian-judge-denies-case-of-child-with-down-syndrome/
Another Pipeline PAP: Well, the Torry Hansen debacle happened in early 2010 and Children’s Ombudman has been threatening to suspend adoptions by Americans in the English-language media since at least January 2011, the bilateral treaty didnt get signed until months of legal wrangling later and wasn’t slated to come into force until late in 2012:
http://en.rian.ru/society/20110126/162307907.html
Any PAP who started an adoption on or after April 2010 could have found out — with a 2 second google search — that the risks associated with starting a Russian adoption were *significant*.
(Given that Russian adoptions took around 9-18 months to complete, rather a lot of PAPs initiated their Russian adoptions *despite* the clear signals that the program would be shut down).
another pipeline pap,
Re: “…why so little mention of the second ban on russian adoptions in recent months. do you view adoption of russian children by singles, who might (must!) be (gasp!) homosexual (else why,why, why would they be single?!?) as reasonable as well?…”
Frankly, I’m far more concerned about Putin’s anti-gay law, by which someone can be arrested and imprisoned for up to 15 days, simply for advocating for LGBT rights. This is a profound human rights violation, and Putin has stated he WILL enforce it against athletes and fans coming into Russia for the 2014 Winter Olympics.
http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Latest-News-Wires/2013/0802/Russia-Anti-gay-law-will-be-enforced-during-Olympics
Vladimir Putin is a slimy, hate-filled powermonger– no one is contesting THAT fact.
rally- I am not at ease posting the dx and city publicly, but if you have info I would be pleased to correspond with you privately. is your contact info visible somewhere?
rallyreform@yahoo.com I have a list of charities so maybe one of those may be a possibility
I thought I would share with anyone interested a video produced in Russia about how they feel about the adoption ban. The little boy with DS that is mentioned in the video is the one child with DS that has been taken home. Those of us in a private group rejoiced along with the Nagel family that he was able to go home. It has never been our intention to steal children from their families or their countries. Only to give homes to children who will grow up in institutions if they don’t get adopted. (The reason we think this is their lot in life is because of what we have been told be Russian care givers and authorities).
One of the main reasons this little boy went home is that his case was highly publicized. So if nothing else our continued fight did help one child go home to his biological parents. Or do you think they just got up one morning after 5 years and thought “hey, let’s go back and get our son, it’s been long enough now?” So I think our continued whining is paying off. The more it stays in the public eye the better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbD_MiAiVmM&feature=youtu.be
Many of the Russian citizens were outraged by the ban. Not because they think all their children should be adopted by Americans but because they are in an early stage of trying to change the mind set in their country about special needs children. There are many wonderful organizations that are helping families keep their children. We applaud these organizations and help where we can. Russia is not much different than the US was 50 years ago as far as the mentality of needing to institutionalize these children. I would love to see no need for adoption let alone international adoption. But I can tell you that in some cases biological parents are either unfit to care for their children or do not wish to care for them. In those cases adoption is a much better option than an institution.
Our family has been trying for a while to find a family for our EX REFERRAL (daughter in our heart but for some reason it pisses people off that we love her and consider her our daughter since she has no one else that claims to be her family). We have had no success as a lot of the people we speak to in Canada are afraid they will end up in the same position as us as Russia is already passing laws where they will not allow any country that allows same sex marriage to adopt. Ireland needs to be careful because if they even consider passing the Magnitsky Act they have been told their adoptions will be banned too. We have also had no luck in Russia so far either. So if anyone on here that seems to know so much about Russia and adoption and is so sure that these children will all get families has any connections please let us know. We would love to see Natasha get a family or at least get visitors monthly to come play with her at the institution. (Oh and I would mention we would love to see the other 19 children in Natasha’s groupa get families but then we would be accused of being selfish and not wanting Natasha to get a family. I mean it only makes sense that if all the children that have been matched with Americans get families than there is no more orphan problem in Russia, right?)
Our biggest fear right now is that Pavel Astakhov is now threatening to send the St. Petersburg children to Chechnya. You can read the comments under this article to see that the majority of Russian citizens do not find this an appropriate solution. Although again by sending them to Chechnya there is no more orphan problem. Out of site out of mind. Just make those stupid Americans who claim to love these children go away.
The St. Petersburg Ombudsman thinks that American adoptions are so horrible that she fought for about 6 months for the children in her region to be allowed to finish their adoptions. She was even accused of being a traitor. She talked about how they had not had problems with American adoptions from St. Petersburg but Astakhov says she is just whining. I thought I would clear up one important fact in the example Carlee likes to link about the American family returning the twins in St. Pete. This was not an American approved Homestudy. In fact, the wife was Russian/American applied as a single mother in Russia. You can view this however you want but I thought I would at least let people know that the twins who were returned to the orphanage never boarded a plane to America and the American government never had anything to do with their adoption. Not sure how this makes it the American Governments problem. Are they supposed to regulate adoptions in Russia just because the person has duel citizenship?
http://www.kp.ru/online/news/1484843/
I would also like to point out that Rebecca had posted on her blog that an American family trying to adopt from St. Petersburg was refused because of being involved with Reece’s Rainbow and photo listing. I can assure you that they not only met their daughter but that she is home and thriving. Also, Rebecca was helping a family with an independent adoption but those were outlaw when the new treaty took effect and so the family she was working with in St. Petersburg never met the child that had been preselected through Reece’s Rainbow who Rebecca is so much against but willing to help this family with a now outlawed independent adoption. So, I have a hard time believing everything Rebecca says. I am sure she probably has a lot of good information on her blog but because I know she got some major things wrong I am unclear on what to believe. (I do not have a link to that blog post as she made her blog private. Maybe Carlee can find it for you)
So, watch the link to the Russian video. Take from it what you want. Argue with the Russian citizens if you want. Like I have said over and over again, I will not stop fighting for this child’s life until she is either home with me or has a new family and then I will continue to fight for those left behind in her institution.
I would like to add that her institution is amazing. But the director told another American family that they were the first family ever to come for a child from his institution. He then told her that he hoped more Americans would come because even though he tried his best to take good care of the children … All children deserve a family not just good care.
Oh and this post is for those who wish to know why we continue to fight for our daughter and not those who already hate us just because we love a little girl that is stuck in an institution and we refuse to give up on her. I will not be replying or spend hours arguing with those people as this post was not to try and change their mind.
“We have had no success as a lot of the people we speak to in Canada are afraid they will end up in the same position as us as Russia is already passing laws where they will not allow any country that allows same sex marriage to adopt. Ireland needs to be careful because if they even consider passing the Magnitsky Act they have been told their adoptions will be banned too. ” That is totally incorrect. They won’t allow SINGLES in countries that allow same sex marriage to adopt. They are totally fine with married couples from countries other than US
Katrina – The second Ukrainian baby girl that RR’s Sarah Basile wanted to adopt was taken home by her birthparents almost two years ago – mere months after they’d handed her over to an orphanage (but NOT relinquished their parental rights). So it’s not totally unheard of first families to take their kid home, because they LOVE their child, without any financial incentive.
http://hopefulheartadoption.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-miracle.html
it’s hard to know what to believe about this:
http://voiceofrussia.com/2013_01_11/Astakhov-supports-full-ban-on-Russian-kids-adoptions-by-foreigners/
http://indrus.in/news/2013/01/18/childrens_rights_ombudsman_supports_idea_of_ban_on_all_foreign_child_ado_21727.html
http://euobserver.com/foreign/119960
another pipeline pap,
I’d say– based on the articles you cited– that Pavel Astakhov wants to stop treating Russian children as commodities for profitable export, and to create good conditions for them to live in Russia. It’s hard to find any fault with this proposed course of action.
On the other hand, Maxim Peshkov DOES want to use Russian children as trade commodities– and to use them as a political weapon by threatening to refuse to “sell” to Ireland if they pass a law instituting sanctions on the Russians liable for Sergei Magnitsky’s death. Peshkov’s motives are corrupt and deplorable.
Katrina,
No one has any problem with you loving and advocating for a child who could certainly use people in her corner; it’s claiming that she IS your child, regardless of the fact that’s neither biologically nor legally true, that people find troubling. And whether YOU mean it that way or not, it DOES reinforce PAP entitlement attitudes in others. Check with Shelly Burman about what happens when entitlement attitudes crash into each other, and you have two sets of PAPs fighting over who gets to “rescue” the same sibling group.
I agree 100% that Russia and Eastern Europe are where we were 50 years ago in regards to the institutionalization of the disabled. While I agree that westerners coming to adopt these children may be causing some to think twice about the “Institutionalize her and forget about her” meme, it should be noted that the west moved out of these attitudes WITHOUT a flood of PAPs coming in from other countries to adopt abandoned SN children in institutions.
We don’t know whether the Adoption Ban furor actually reminded the birthparents that “Oh, WE have an institutionalized Down syndrome child, too, don’t we? Let’s go get him!” I’ve read of previous cases in Ukraine where birthparents DID visit their institutionalized children, so it seems logical that this occurs in Russia, just as it did in America not-so-long-ago.
I’m cynical enough to wonder in the birthfamily was quietly offered the types of benefits Americans take for granted– now– as inducement to take the boy for its PR value. As you may have gathered, I’m no fan of Putin.
Re: “…All children deserve a family not just good care…”
But good care is a sine qua non WHEREVER the child is cared for. Unless we get the problems with the homestudy process fixed, we can’t quarantee them either one. Hana Williams was adopted, but she didn’t get a family in any real sense of the word.
Even in the absence of abuse and neglect, you have to wonder how many unrelated kids child collector PAPs can adopt without becoming a small group home in effect, only distinguished by the fact its “staff” are called Mom and Dad by its clients. And that they’re undertrained, overworked, unpaid, and never get to go off-duty. Let’s not forget the fact they can’t even speak their “clients” native language.
A group home which offers good care in their native country WOULD be better than that.
Here’s my take on all of the special needs IA craziness: These PAPs are some of the most self-absorbed Westerners on the planet. The rabid PAPs/advocates are the worst putting tremendous energy into fundraising to pay exorbitant fees (that go where?….who’s pockets get lined?), beat the drum for one or a handful of children that they want and yet fail to realize children are born with special needs GLOBALLY every single day. Some are relinquished, some are not. And some of these PAPs are fighting for those who are not! We do not yet live in societies where these children are considered of equal value to within normal limits children (yes, even in the good old USA). Ever wonder why these PAPs fall apart and can’t find appropriate care once home with the children they fought so hard for…because by and large in the vast majority of the country it is not accessible. Sad, but it is the current state of things and something I’d like to see changed. I do not see these PAPs/advocates out putting time, energy and fundraising into realizing good solutions and care for children GLOBALLY or even locally to ensure their best possible outcomes and to remain with family members. To think that the majority of IA is anything more than a self serving bandaid to a global problem is foolish. The adoption industry is full of myopic morons (if not crooks) and they love the new minions they recruit to keep their largely irresponsible practices thriving. There are hundreds of organizations working around the world to alleviate children’s suffering and yet these PAPs ignore those areas they could be supporting and latch on to what serves their needs (fighting to legally adopt children because that is what serves THEM) regardless of the facts in front of them. Kudos to Rally for engaging this population at all. I don’t know how you do it.
“I do not see these PAPs/advocates out putting time, energy and fundraising into realizing good solutions and care for children GLOBALLY or even locally to ensure their best possible outcomes and to remain with family members.”
I do. often.
ia and systemic improvements are not in any way mutually exclusive and many aps/paps contribute much time, energy and money to organizations that work to improve conditions for children in need who cannot, will not or should not be adopted.
Carlee-
I am unclear what you are advocating for. I know what you’re against: Reece’s Rainbow and Whitney. What are you in favor of? I’ve reviewed these comments and many of the references herein, including Whitney’s blog. It seems to me you either have a personal vendetta against Whitney for some unknown personal reasons or you simply take issue with her referring to a child she loves as “hers.” Whitney travelled on a blind referral and did not meet her daughter through RR. Isn’t this what you prefer? She fell in love. I assume you’re okay with that. She believes that the child’s diagnosis of Down syndrome will prevent her adoption domestically and I’ve seen nothing to refute this belief. Whitney acknowledges she has not been granted a legal right pursuant to Russian law to “legally” call Dasha her own. It seems like your only complaint is Whitney’s characterization of Dasha as “her daughter” as a means of expressing her love and connection with an otherwise unclaimed child. Is that right? If so, the world understands your position that relationships should be stated only in literal legal terms. You can call the child you adopted from Russia yours and Whitney cannot. My personal opinion is that it’s time for you to move-on. Direct your passions toward something positive and stop harboring a grudge against individuals who believe they are trying to do something good. It’s not for you to judge their motives or unfairly question their methods.
The AP author of “And this one matters” blog had adopted three children since 2010, and is trying to adopt more three aged out teenage boys, but two of them have decided that they do not want to leave their home country., despite being fully funded, according to RR. She had written that this is the work Satan, but now seems more reconciled to the fact that they do not want to be adopted and has now begun advocating for a 14 year old girl- what’s the betting that she will soon hear God’s call to adopt this child instead of the boys?
It had to happen – Gary and Denise Davis, child collectors whose adopted from bulgaria daughter Gennie died less than a month after they adopted her AND who are being investigated by Louisiana CPS have announced they are ADOPTING YET AGAIN!!!!
http://nachalaadopt3.blogspot.com/2013/08/people-can-just-be-mean.html
Who can they be reported to? What can be done to prevent this family from harming yet another kid???
A new low in Reece’s Rainbow PAP behavior — passing Ukrainian court and yet not having the $$ to bring your newly adopted little boy home!
Michelle Buhler passed court in Ukraine but cannot afford to bring her newly adopted son Ethan home. Unless strangers give her cash.
Interestingly, little Ethan was actually born in Russia!!!
“Michelle is still in country with Ethan. She is unsure if they have the funds they will need to get everything in order in country and fly home. Even once they are home, things are going to be tight, because they were never fully funded and every extra penny is going to getting her and Ethan home from Eastern Europe. All these loops they were thrown for destroyed the carefully laid plans they had for funding their adoption. I honestly can’t imagine the situation she’s in right now… in country, without her husband or children, not even sure if she has the finances needed to get home. If you’d like to be a part of easing that burden and helping her get home with her new son, you can donate to their Reece’s Rainbow FSP here. Michelle has promised that if any money is left over once they are home, it will be going to Carolina’s grant.”
http://imageryofmyheart.blogspot.com/2013/09/hope.html
http://crazy-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/2013/09/bigger-plans.html
http://reecesrainbow.org/49417/sponsorbuhler
Stan,
I wonder if such reckless actions are a deliberate fundraising strategy? Donor fatigue is apparently setting in among the Rescue Adoption supporters, and PAPs are having a lot more difficulty raising the money they need. There’s also been a lot more publicity about the sordid underside of the Adoption Gospel– something a blogger recently complained was undermining the “support” True Christian™ PAPs used to expect as their due.
Upping the emotional ante by creating a self-inflicted crisis seems to squeeze dollars out of givers who are starting to get weary of the endless tugging at their heart and pursestrings. Which I suppose means that we’ll see more of this traveling unfunded, then begging for “emergency” help– at least until some APs actually wind up stranded in a foreign country.
I wonder if the adoption agencies will wind up quietly making up the difference if that happens? After all, the LAST thing they want is an AP admitting to local officials they don’t have the money to get home– it would reveal how shaky the finances of some couples approved to adopt are.
Hey! Thanks for linking my blog! I’m really enjoying the increased traffic! Not to mention the good laugh Michelle and I are having at the ludicrous idea that she would ever leave her son in country! Soooo funny, thanks for the laughs!
Glad to have made your (and Michelle’s) day!
How very strange that you’re begging for cash on behalf of Michelle — who doesn’t actually need it to complete her adoption!
@ Katie: I’m sure the Government of Ukraine and the US Embassy in Kyiv would be thrilled to know just how responsible she’s been about getting the funds necessary to complete her adoption. Ukrainian officials, in particular, who are pretty annoyed by Reece’s Rainbow’s blatant violation of Ukrainian law.
(The next question is, how long will Michelle keep little Ethan if she even gets him home? Less than 6 months like the 2 the Garners adopted? All of 6 months, the length of time Autumn Winkle kept Yuri? All of 30 days, like little Nicolai Emelyentsev? Ship the kid off to crisis respite indefinitely like little Victor Reilly and Evelyn Burman? Maybe Michelle will be distracted for a few seconds and that carelessness will incapacitate little Ethan? Jon Clanton took a second to check his cell phone and little Selah – a girl who ate, breathed & moved independently in her grim mental institute – has been comatose and trached ever since!!).
http://www.allarepreciousinhissight.com/2013/09/youre-invited-to-byhomes-open-house.html?m=1
Have you seen this opportunity?
Have all the pedophiles in Texas seen this opportunity?
Have all the unvetted, unprepared, attachment-disrupting short term mission mamas seen this?
Have all the gullible “we’re going to help an overextended adoptive family for free” people seen this?
And while we’re at it, has anyone seen any orphans there? Where are the orphans? Surely she isn’t calling her children orphans?
I simply cannot imagine the experience of her children, put on display and made to interact with strange adults who need an experience? I’m sincerely hoping she wakes up from this delusion and has an absolute panic attack over nearly allowing people access to her vulnerable children. 🙁
Seriously? What in the world? Domestic missions? Serve our large family? Please tell me this isn’t real. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? I cannot imagine promoting my child as a missions opportunity.
Same old, Same old,
Reading between the lines, it sounds like the Pattersons are angling to get free childcare assistance with their megafamily by packaging it as a “missions opportunity” and/or pre-adoption training for PAPs.
One only hopes they’ll require criminal background checks and references before allowing applicants access to their children.
Are you kidding? She is posting her actual residential zipcode right on the website, together with her full name. 411.com is very good about putting that information and directing you straight to a Google map of her address, which, with bird’s eye view, can confirm the relative location of the “Barnomium” to the rest of the house, as shown on the blog.
This is EXACTLY what kids are warned NOT to do!!!
(And yes, I also commented on her blog, asking how she’d feel about hosting interested parties who do not belong to her particular community of faith…? Still waiting for a response….)
Galit,
Well, at least she hadn’t deleted it as of this morning, even though she hasn’t replied. That puts her one up on Denise Davis, who deletes all comments which aren’t worshipful
Yet another RR family that illegally preselected a Ukrainian kid — who brag that corrupt in-country facilitators will soon provide them with photos/videos of this illegally photolisted kid:
“It gets better though! Our in country team is wait for permission to go visit him in his orphanage, when granted permission we will get new pictures and videos of our little man!!!..,
And the best news yet! There is an amazing family who is in country right now, adopting from the same orphanage as our little man, and they have gifts to give our sweet little man for his Birthday. They have been so extremely kind and generous to do this for me, to be there to say Happy Birthday. Words cannot begin to do justice to the fact that they can do for me what I wish I could be doing, they hope to be allowed to wish him a Happy Birthday and give him a birthday present! He may have not been celebrated today but there will be a family there tomorrow who I know will make him feel loved if she can see him, and that my friends is God’s perfect timing for my sweet boy!!!”
http://iwillcometoyou-john14-18.blogspot.com/2013/10/today-is-his-birthday.html
This family is not affiliated with RR and their child is not in Ukraine.
I already responded on RLJs blog but since you were the originator I will gladly share with you as well!!
“Oh your poor sad misguided soul. Not adopting from the country you are talking about nor do I have anything to do with Reece’s Rainbow. I am fully aware of what they are and what they do and I am NO part of it. You my friend are quite the credible source…..
I am legally allowed to show my child’s picture. Our agency has permission from their govt to go get pictures and videos. AND we sought approval to be allowed to have a family bring him a present, which MANY countries allow.
So pick our family apart, but do it with accurate information. Then I’m all for it!”
Then I’m guessing the little man is in Bulgaria — and based on the family’s youcaring account (“Bringing Home our Boy” they had somehow been matched with the little pumpkin BEFORE their homestudy update was completed!
I don’t know of ANY countries in which a US family can be matched with a kid PRIOR to having an approved homestudy… and neither does the State Department:
http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=bulgaria
How can it possibly be legal to claim a kid as your own, plaster his photos on your PUBLIC blog and send him birthday presents??? It probably isn’t!
Here are the steps to adopt according to State:
“1Choose an Accredited Adoption Service Provider
2Apply to be Found Eligible to Adopt
3Be Matched with a Child
4Apply for the Child to be Found Eligible for 5Immigration to the United States
6Adopt the Child in Bulgaria
7Bring your Child Home”
Note that “be matched” happens AFTER “found eligible to adopt”.
An adoption agency CANNOT legally give you the kid’s picutre to share on your blog before the kid is officially YOUR kid. It’s super shady to send presents to NOT YET YOUR KID, heck, not yet your official referral! Your adoption agency MATCHED you BEFORE your homestudy was approved. And you’ve got your own little Reece’s Rainbow Family Support page… which certainly suggests RR is involved.
It’s about as legally as your (probably) illegal lottery-style fundraiser — you really do need a gaming license to legally give away all those BIG prizes.
(It’s great to make the RR connections early — that way when you tire of the little muffin a few months after getting him home, when you’re shocked by his institutional behaviors, you’ll have lots of help in ridding yourself of him!!).
Where’s the link to Reece’s Rainbow? Search my name or my kids name…..we are NOT on that site.
“Apply to be Found Eligible to Adopt”
I applied. and was found eligible. And his country officially matched us. We were granted
My (probably) illegal fundraiser?
I checked and rechecked with my state on what would be required for it to be a legal and legit fundraiser.
So to recap.
-Still not connected to Reece’s Rainbow
-We have approval from our social worker
-We have been officially matched
-and our fundraiser is legit.
Come on Stan, you’re letting me down…Keep trying!
A homestudy is required to be “deemed eligible to adopt”. You cannot be “matched with a child” until you have been “deemed eligible”, according to the State Dept and Hague Convention.
– on July 18/13** you wrote that your social worker was on holidays and wouldn’t be able to do your homestudy VISIT until after Aug 7/13
– you announced your commitment on July 23/13*
How were you deemed eligible to adopt from Bulgaria (Hague country) without an approved homestudy in July 2013?
Without having been “deemed eligible to adopt”, how were you able to be “matched with a child” by Bulgarian officials?
* From “Committed” – July 23
“Our commitment papers are in the hands of our in country representative and it brings about such an amazing mix of emotions. We should know at the end of this week if we will get his file and I’m on the edge of my seat just waiting for an answer.”
** from “one month and five days” on July 18/13
“Our social worker is on vacation until August 7th, we won’t have our visit until that following week,
After that we are full steam ahead,
Our dossier should be complete by the time we have our home study in hand, minus the obvious of the homestudy and uscis approval,
But here’s to fast paced movement,”
Coleen Novit has indeed gone over to the dark, oopsie, Reece’s Rainbow side in order to fundraise for her 2 unrelated Bulgarian kids with high needs SN:
http://reecesrainbow.org/74331/sponsornovit
Why let the fact that 2 kids aren’t legally available for adoption get in the way of a godly Reece’s rainbow couple continuing with their plan to adopt them?!?!
You can’t make this (horrible) stuff up!
“It’s now evening after I started this post and unbelievably, something has happened. We were told that the paperwork HAS BEEN FIXED! We are grateful for this, but, sadly this has the potential to delay us another month, because now they must get their biological mother’s approval, for us to move forward. If she is not found in 30 days then they will let us move forward, but she can also reject the correction within that 30 days. So in one sense we are encouraged because at least things are moving, but in another sense we still need fervent prayer that they will find her and she will approve, as quickly as possible. We’re told she may be very difficult to find”
http://cradledbygrace.blogspot.com/2013/10/its-marathon.html
Most awful adoption fundraising shirt EVER! Who knew “orphan addict” and “serial adopter” could be topped!!
Designed by none other than Reece’s rainbows very own Renee:
“JAIL HOMELESS HUMAN TRAFFICKING TOMBSTONE FAMILY
Five choices for a 16 year old orphan’s future. One of them requires outside help to achieve- and it happens to be the only positive option”
http://butbygraceitcouldbeme.blogspot.ca/2013/10/piercing-pain.html
Where does RR find these people? God help the children indeed.
Here is another example of what NOT to do as an adoptive parent: Tell the entire world via your blog that your kid is HIV, Hepatitis, etc. positive. Because it is your CHILD’s private health information — not yours. If the KID wants to tell the world about their health, when they’re a bit older? Sure.
But a parents should have better sense than to have done this!
The knock-on effect of this APs actions: Horrific threats and taunts from neighbors. The neighbors behavior is appalling and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
“You have HIV in there,
You have Hep B in there,
You’re going down,
You’re out of control
(BTW I don’t think it’s us that is out of control),
You have no idea what you brought to this country.
I will do everything possible to stop your next adoption,
Those boys will never come home,
I’m filing charges against you and your child,
You’re scum”
http://theresnoplacelikehome-family.blogspot.com/2013/10/for-goodness-sake-their-children-part-1.html
Um… could anyone with legal knowledge clarify a point? The AP claims that the protesting neighbors “…have violated the 1983 Civil Rights Action as they have parade up and down our street yelling what special needs our children have…” But from what I understand, no matter how despicable it is to act in such a manner, as long as their source of info is the AP’s blog itself (and they limit themselves to just talking) the law can’t touch them, any more than they can arrest the Westboro Baptist Church for their heinous funeral protests
I’m not sure how the laws would apply or even which laws would apply. There are very strict rules for service providers (doctors, therapists, hospitals) regarding the disclosure of HIV status:
http://www.hivlawandpolicy.org/resources/download/305
But the parents aren’t service providers (duh) and chose to publically disclose that info regarding their minor children (which is not illegal, but nonetheless a horrible thing to have done). In this case, laws regarding libel and slander don’t apply — since it is TRUE that their kids are HIV+ and or have Hepatitis.
Clearly it is illegal to discriminate and harrass people based on their HIV status — and threatening to derail their next adoption is a threat… but given the parents voluntarily and publically disclosed the HIV status of their kids, im unsure how (or if) standing in front of their house yelling that the kids inside said house are HIV+ (w/o other threats) would be illegal. I mean, it’s a rude and mean thing to do, but it is also factual to yell “an HIV+ person lives there).
Name,
Re: “…There are very strict rules for service providers (doctors, therapists, hospitals) regarding the disclosure of HIV status. But the parents aren’t service providers (duh) and chose to publically disclose that info regarding their minor children… im unsure how (or if) standing in front of their house yelling that the kids inside said house are HIV+ (w/o other threats) would be illegal…”
Thanks, that was what I was thinking.
BTW, don’t you think if something like this was happening, it would have made the mainstream news? I Googled, but there was nothing on this… I mean I couldn’t find ANY matches, no matter what search terms I used.
I’m finding myself doubting the PAPs’ story. The behavior described seems more like something that would’ve happened in the 1980s or nineties, not in the 21st Century when we know AIDS can’t be spread by casual contact.
Correction: On the Oct. 4 2013 entry Jean said they were CONSIDERING contacting the media, but hadn’t decided whether to do so. So it’s theoretically possible that this has been happening without anyone in journalism being aware of it.
The whole thing still feels hinky, though. In their long list of government agencies to notify about this harrassment “the police” are not mentioned. If they were MY kids, law enforcement would be the FIRST people I notified. Even if they told me this ranting, fist-shaking behavior wasn’t breaking any laws, I’d want my concerns on record.
Instead, Jean is “documenting” this behavior by blogging about it. Um, wouldn’t videorecording the offenders in action be a much better form of documentation? “I posted in my blog that they were doing so-and-so” is much weaker in court than “Here’s video of what they were doing.”
Exactly. She sounds like she wants personal attention from the situation-whatever the situation may be.
I certainly understand the parent’s desire to educate people, encourage people who might be considering children with these conditions and provide expression for the experiences of other families like theirs. But you can do those things without providing identifying information. The fact that she didn’t say which exact child doesn’t matter, no matter what she thinks.
Name,
I re-read the Oct. 4th, 2013 post in an effort to figure out what exactly had precipitated this brouhaha, and noticed that one of the things people “stood in front of their home and yelled” was “…I’m filing charges against you and your child…” That implied that one of the kids had done something they could conceivably be charged FOR. Sifting through the mass of self-righteous verbiage, I found more clues to whatever apparently happened”
“…I also told my neighbor it would be good for her to get the children immunized. Sometimes our children would play together…” “…Whoever they play with is SAFE, just as the rest of our family is safe…”
“…We have been advised to do many things to protect our children.
File a Formal Complaint to the MnDHA
File harassment charges
Notify the Media regarding the hate, anger and discrimination directed towards special needs adopted children.
Notify those that advocate for children who are mentally challenged.
File a complaint in regards to the MN Fair Housing Act- our rights as home owners are being violated and they are trying to force us out of our house.
Sue them for money lost on the sale of our home if that is what we are forced to do (it’s gonna be a lot of money).
File a complaint with the MN Dept of Human Services regarding the blatant discrimination of individuals with special needs…”
Reading between the lines, something happened between one of their intellectually disabled children and one of the neighbor’s children which makes the neighbor fear that her child may have been exposed to HIV and/or Hep B. Their own child’s actions were sufficiently culpable that Jean and Jim hesitate to notify law enforcement about the harassment, because that may open them or their child to legal consequences. The neighbors are using the APs reluctance to involve the police or social services– which may imperil their adoption in process– to leverage them into selling their home and moving elsewhere.
Denise Davis wants CASH for her next adoption – direct to her Paypal account.
Not even the pretense of a tax deductible donation via Reece’s Rainbow this time!
“Checks or money orders can be sent directly to our home and deposited into an account set up for our daughter’s adoption. Credit card, Debit Cards and Paypal can be sent through our attached Paypal Button. During our prior adoptions each and every dollar spent was used to save our children was living their lives in an orphanage. Three of our adopted children would have died if not adopted so please I ask you help us save this next little one from suffering also. God Bless”
http://babybumblebeeadoption.blogspot.com/2013/10/our-money-cake-fundraiser.html
Carlee,
I notice Denise is taking no chances that “mean people” can comment on THIS fundraising site, asking why a couple who’d supposedly researched cystic fibrosis didn’t bother to arrange specialized medical care as soon as the adoption was finalized, so that they could have brought Gennie and her brother in for assessment ASAP after bringing them in-country.
Three of them would have died? Is that including Gennie, who did die and whose death resulted in a CPS investigation for medical neglect? Denise basically claims that she had no clue that Gennie was that seriously ill and that she died suddenly and without warning. There is something in her story that doesn’t add up.
I don’t doubt her grief over Gennie’s death. I do doubt her ability to be responsible for a child with special needs. And now she’s claiming that they were praying that another family wouldn’t express interest in the same child they are interested in. Because it’s not, as they claim, about helping children in need. It’s about using these kids to get their own needs met.
Very disturbing.
Wow.
I thought I had seen everything.
Attacking families in country. Naming names, linking blogs. Suggesting that they will murder or abandon their children. Calling out specific people who are HUMAN and who have FEELINGS, which, regardless of how you feel about something, attacking someone is never the way to bring about change.
Then I thought I had seen everything when this excuse for a blog immediately pounced on families who had experienced tragedies involving their adopted children – even when the incidents were clearly NOT the result of any maltreatment, and in some cases when this blog itself later stated that those families were simply the victims of unfortunate accidents. Why attack first and ask questions later? Why not spare families already in terrible situations further heartache by waiting until you know they’ve done something wrong to call them out, instead of attacking and then backpedaling?
Now… wow. Just wow. I barely have words. Did you know that one of the blogs you linked is run by teenagers? When you frequently refer to teens as children, thereby deserving of protection, you freely link their blog so that your dogs can go on attack? Which is it? Are we protecting children or are we attacking them? Or is it only certain children who are worthy of your courtesy?
You all make me sick. Maybe if you put your efforts into actually seeking adoption reform instead of just searching out and bashing families, I might have some respect for you – I might even agree with you. But this type of behavior is despicable.
Katie:
1 Blogs come with this awesome feature: PASSWORD PROTECT. Any blogger (including TEEN bloggers) who doesn’t want their personal business all over the interwebs ought to avail themselves of it.
2 Rather a lot of adoptive/foster parents DO abuse/kill/harm the very kids they promised to love and protect. THAT is the problem. Not blog links.
3 Letting adoption go on as-is, unchanged, is what is results in far too many abused/dead adoptees and exploited first families.
4 How do you think the adopted kids will FEEL about having their personal, private medical information posted on the web for all to see? Or, worse, PAPs who don’t yet have an official referral posting photos/medical info/etc regarding NOT THEIR KIDS all over the web? All kids, even those with disabilities in orphanages, are entitled to privacy and dignity.
5 Most of the “tragedies” are preventable, e.g. had Denise Davis taken her clearly very ill, newly adopted Gennie to a doctor upon arrival, she might not be dead; better screening would’ve stopped a pedophile from adopting Masha Allen, etc.
6 The same kind of “accidents” and “tragedies” keep happening to adopted kids over and over again, e.g. like little Hyunsu, kids who are male, home less than a year, under 5 and arrive in the US in the winter are at unusually HIGH risk.
7 Many “accidental” adoptee deaths probably aren’t accidental – little Max Shatto beat *himself* to death? Little Hynsu beat *himself* to death too? Chase Harrison locked *himself* in a car and baked himself to death in the parking lot next to his adad’s office??
8 The “terrible situations” adoptive families find themselves in? The GET themselves into those awful situations, e.g. let’s adopt 4 teens simultaneously!! And disrupt one five weeks later, plus 2 more within the year!! http://followinghiscall.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/taken-hostage-or-testing-our-love/
9 Why attack first and ask questions later? Ummmm, a many links are to blogs by PAPs… who are still in the PROCESS of choosing to undertake uber-high risk adoptions, eg. Renee Alan bringing home 5 more unrelated high needs SN kids simultaneously with other people’s money.
10 Are “we” (bloggers/commenters) protecting children or attacking them? Children are not being protected (nor attacked) by blog comments. Rather a lot of adopted/foster kids are being failed by the adoption industry and child welfare system in real and meaningful ways.
I’m not going to waste my time arguing with your points, I learned a long time ago that once someone is set in their opinion you will be hard-pressed to change it – I just have one final question for you.
This blog states that it advocates for adoption reform. That is its goal. Exactly how does hunting down the blogs of families who are adopting, linking and copy/pasting from them (often information which you yourself say should not be shared about children – why share it further if you don’t feel it should be out there at all?) in order to say hurtful things about them promote adoption reform? Wouldn’t your efforts be better spent lobbying lawmakers, writing newspaper/news website editorials, seeking out actual solutions to the problem you perceive?
And yes, anyone can password protect a blog, including teens, but that sounds like a lot of victim blaming to me. A woman can carry a gun to defend herself too, but if she doesn’t, does that mean it’s okay to attack her? These are kids. You are (presumably) an adult. WE, the ADULTS are the ones who are supposed to know, and do better. Teenagers are still learning. They’re going to make mistakes. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to be hurtful towards them.
Katie,
The mindset and actions of adoptive parents as revealed in these blogs is part of what needs reform.
What you post on the internet on a publicly-available blog is published information, and anyone on the internet should be aware of that.
Usually these blogs are open to the public with the intent of swaying public opinion about adoption, fundraising, or evangelizing– and thus fair game for comment and criticism. Anyone who doesn’t like this has the option of making their blog private. Or they can ignore it, or even– hopefully– think about whether their critics may have a valid point.
The blogs that are linked are PUBLIC. “Hunting down” is hardly the right adjective to use for bloggers who CHOOSE to blog openly — and more often than not beg their readers to share their blog with their family/friends, share of Facebook and tweet the blog in order to promote AWARENESS about the orphans and adoption.
I’m simply doing the bloggers bidding 🙂
Um… I believe the Chase Harrison case was shown to be one of those tragic things which befall biological kids as well as adoptees, resulting from the failings of human memory and safety seat laws which require rear-facing baby car seats in the back seat
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/27/AR2009022701549.html
“…”Death by hyperthermia” is the official designation. When it happens to young children, the facts are often the same: An otherwise loving and attentive parent one day gets busy, or distracted, or upset, or confused by a change in his or her daily routine, and just… forgets a child is in the car. It happens that way somewhere in the United States 15 to 25 times a year, parceled out through the spring, summer and early fall… Two decades ago, this was relatively rare. But in the early 1990s, car-safety experts declared that passenger-side front airbags could kill children, and they recommended that child seats be moved to the back of the car; then, for even more safety for the very young, that the baby seats be pivoted to face the rear. If few foresaw the tragic consequence of the lessened visibility of the child . . . well, who can blame them? What kind of person forgets a baby?
The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers… Our conscious mind prioritizes things by importance, but on a cellular level, our memory does not. If you’re capable of forgetting your cellphone, you are potentially capable of forgetting your child…”
We’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one. Yes, there’s the Gene Weingarten explanation for this kid’s horrific death that you quote — but there’s also the little matter that Miles Harrison left little Chase unsupervised for 8 hours (neglect) and the boy died as a result (could and was charged with criminally negligent homicide, but acquitted).
At least Harrison was tried for his son’s death — many parents who inadvertently kill their kids in this manner aren’t even prosecuted, at the discretion of the ADA / DA.
Name,
“…there’s also the little matter that Miles Harrison left little Chase unsupervised for 8 hours (neglect)…”
No he didn’t, because if he’d KNOWN Chase was in the car he’d never have left him there.
He THOUGHT he’d dropped Chase off at his day care as planned, where Chase was being supervised by his teachers.
Astrin,
That little boy was UNSUPERVISED for 8+ hours. WHY he was unsupervised (daddy though he was at daycare) is irrelevant. It’s ILLEGAL to not supervise your toddler.
(If Miles though his wife took the kid to daycare while the kid was at home, alone, unsupervised.. that would be neglect too!!).
The Northern Virginia laws on child neglect do not have a special exemption for parents who thought their kids were at daycare. Neglect is neglect.