Face Palm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Hosts’ Abundant Selections (remind me not to skip a week!):
(1) Congo-4 Facepalms-None of these people are very 
- T-shirt fundraising: “”Over 50 million orphans” (for Africa) “Will you save one”
With only 2 million children in orphanages worldwide and most having family, MOST children are not eligible for adoption. But don’t let facts get in your way of selling 
!
- T-Shirt fundraising # 2 can be seen at http://godsilsgoabroad.wordpress.com/advocate-congo/ where adoption = justice
- This couple stayed with corrupt agency because God told them so http://www.helpbringjanaehome.blogspot.com/2013/03/two-years-later-and-still-waiting.html “The director of the orphanage in the DRC was found to be stealing, donations that were taken by traveling families were then sold and the money was pocketed. When the director found out that she was going to be losing her job she even kidnapped a couple of the children and hid them from the parents that were traveling to pick them up. It was a very chaotic time with the agency, several families left the program due to the corruption, and some left because this meant more delays in the program, ever increasing time lines, ect. We prayed very hard about our decision to stay. Ultimately it came down to the fact that THIS is the agency we felt that God had led us to and we know that He doesn’t make mistakes”
- Paying full cost upfront to agency and fundraising for it. http://www.gofundme.com/homesweethoma
(2) Film about China Adoptions called Find Me 
““Our key contribution is to allow people to see the backside 
of adoption,” Peters said. “There’s a very negative perception of what they do over there in China, with the one-child policy. We learn why these children are given up for adoption. It’s because families can’t afford to keep them, or pay for the medical attention they need, and they know their children will be cared for through adoption. The Chinese parents desperately love and want to keep their children, they just can’t — because of medical or financial reasons.” [So why not take advantage of that, right?]
To show the lesser-known side of adoption, the Peters are hoping to film one of the adopted children before he or she meets the new family.”
Its purpose is to market China adoptions and OF COURSE, they are fundraising for it.
(3) Russian Adoption of Multiples book To Sing Frogs 
“In the end, it’s a story of unwavering faith and prayer as “three little orphan girls in an atheist country had prayed to a God they couldn’t see” and each found exactly what they needed.”
Russia is ATHEIST now! 
I don’t think so…Adoptive parents will make ANYTHING up to justify themselves!
“With nearly 5,000 religious associations the Russian Orthodox Church accounts for over a half of the total number registered in Russia. Next in numbers come Moslem associations, about 3,000, Baptists, 450, Seventh Day Adventists, 120, Evangelicals, 120, Old Believers, over 200, Roman Catholics, 200, Krishnaites, 68, Buddhists, 80, Judaists, 50, and Unified Evangelical Lutherans, 39.
Many churches and monasteries have been returned to the Church, including the St. Daniel Monastery, the current seat of the Moscow Patriarchate, the spiritual and administrative center of the Russian Orthodox Church.
Some statisticians estimate the percentage of believers at 40 per cent of the entire Russian Federation. Close to 9,000 communities belonging to over forty confessions had been officially registered in the country.
The majority of religious Russians are Christians. The country has over 5,000 Russian Orthodox churches. Many are built anew or under repair on parish and local budgets money.
Among the several more ambitious projects is the Cathedral of Our Lady of Kazan, erected in Red Square to commemorate the liberation of Moscow by Minin and Pozharsky’s militia, pulled down in 1936, and recently rebuilt from scratch. The Cathedral of Christ the Saviour, demolished in 1931, is restored. Patriarch Alexis II described its rebirth as “a sublime act of piety and penitence”.
Russia had 150 Roman Catholic parishes, two theological seminaries and an academy before the revolution of 1917. All were suppressed in the Soviet years, and the believers — ethnic Lithuanians, Poles and Gennans — were banished and seattered about Siberia and Central Asia. 83 communities have reappeared by now, and Apostolic Administrations linked to the Vatican have been established in Moscow for European Russia, and in Novosibirsk for Siberia. There are four bishops and 165 priests working among the approximately 1,300,000 Catholics in the country. The theological seminary, Mary Oueen of the Apostles, opened in Moscow in 1993 and was transferred to St. Petersburg in 1995.
The two million Protestants have 1,150 communities.
The nineteen million Muslims, the second largest religious community in Russia, have over 800 parishes and mosques, mostly in Bashkortostan, Daghestan, Kabarda-Balkaria, North Ossetia, Tatarstan, Ingushetia, and Chechnya. The Muslim Board for Central European region has been re-established. The Moscow Muftiyat, an independent ecclesiastical body, is responsible for the Moscow, Vladimir, Ivanovo, Kostroma, Tula, Tver, Nizhny Novgorod, Kaluga, Yaroslavl and Kaliningrad regions, and Sochi, the renowned seaside resort in the Krasnodar Territory.
Buddhism is widespread in Buryatia, Kalmykia, Tuva, and the Irkutsk and Chits regions. The Russian Federation currently has ten datsan monasteries, with the total monastic body approaching 200. Another ten monasteries are under construction.
The Russian Federation has 42 Jewish communities. Moscow accounts for over 10 per cent of Russian Jews, and has three synagogues, one of which is Hasidic.” Source : http://rusemb.org.uk/religion/
(4) Another T-shirt
“Those who say money can’t buy happiness have never paid an adoption fee” 
(5) Child Welfare-Another Heinous Abuse-discipline book 
And this evangelist who shuns TV posts all over Facebook and the internet and is clueless to the photo he stole for the cover of his e-book . He tries to turn HIS action is other people falsely accusing him!
(6)Child Welfare-release of serial killer nurse 
Yes she killed at least 46 children, but because of good prison behavior, she may be released! http://www.webpronews.com/r-n-suspected-of-46-child-killings-to-be-released-2013-08
(7) Child Welfare-FBI returned wrong child in 1964 abduction
The DNA proves that he is not the child that was kidnapped. Besides needing to find out his true identity, what happened to the abducted child?
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/08/07/fbi-reopens-1964-kidnapping/2630101/
The FBI were more like this 
than 
.
(8)Embryos, Embryos, let’s praise the people making money from embryos
The Fed-Ex special delivery of her embryos http://liveactionnews.org/special-delivery-fed-ex-mails-frozen-embryos-couple-gets-a-big-surprise/ 
Press Release of NASA Scientist who used embryos frozen 19 years ago http://www.marketwatch.com/story/nasa-scientist-gives-birth-using-embryos-that-had-been-on-ice-for-nearly-19-years-2013-08-20 
Great! Now agencies will be busy marketing how great this 25% success rate was for future sales.
(9)Trying to relate Reece’s Rainbow adoption to abortion
More 
to 
comparisons!
(10)Hat tip to a reader on Fundraising for blind Liberian child /Medical Visa for Adoption denied, but…
Of course CCAI minion Senator Klobuchar 
is trying to push it through. Acres of Hope is the agency. See their history at http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/18991 and http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/42488 They placed adoptee Lydia Schatz who was murdered by her adoptive parents.
Article: http://kstp.com/article/stories/s3090765.shtml They claim the child was going to be sacraficed by his village.
Blog: http://hopebloomsmn.blogspot.com/ ‘We have a receipt number! YAY! What this means is that I was able to call Klobuchars office and asked her awesome Immigration department to expedite our case”
We reported on a medical visa from Liberia case back in 2011.
(11)Overlooking 4 days of starvation to twist Qatar arrest by saying the Huangs were jailed due to “transracial adoption”
See http://www.babble.com/baby/jailed-because-of-their-transracial-adoption/
(12) Watering down special needs diagnoses/ “Love is all”
http://liveactionnews.org/why-you-should-adopt-a-special-needs-child/
“The category “special needs” can be misleading when it comes to adoption. While it does include what many assume it to denote – children with acute physical, mental or emotional disabilities – it is simply a categorization that includes all children who, for various reasons, face additional challenges in finding placement.”
“All children respond to the power of no-strings-attached, unconditional love, but special-needs children may appreciate it even more. Some of these children have spent untold time waiting in the limbo of the system, and many have the feeling – and sometimes with good reason – that they were not wanted by their biological parents. Washing away all that pain and building a new foundation of love is something that no one can put a price tag on.”
More Head in the Sand marketing 
(13)Couple who waited 7 years for healthy Chinese baby set up fundraising organization.
They are already fundraising though they do not have IRS status.” Bring the Children Home”
(14)It’s all about me Open letter to future adopted child
Not one thing about the child but all about her and her illness
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shanay-thompson/an-open-letter-to-my-futu_b_3716705.html
The world does not revolve around you 
(15)Give1Save1 blogger
Besides the blog premise, she is simultaneously adopting from two countries-one being Ethiopia
http://give1save1africa.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-bid-you-goodbye-for-whileand-ask-you.html
Also blogs at http://nunespartyofthree.blogspot.com/
(16)Fundraising for Ethiopia Adoption
Ethiopia still doesn’t like it, but these PAPs don’t care about rules
(17)Hat tip from reader on propaganda of JCICS Hana Williams blogger
http://lightofdaystories.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/heritage-camp-ethiopian-celebration/
Our reader says “How can she go on from reporting these incredible events leading to Hana’s death to the statement: Thank God this is not representative, look what an awesome heritage camp I have been attending? ”
“So, I see this is just a lack of respect and diminishing what happened to these children. In making this comparison, it is just as if she used the “one sad accident – ten thousand happy adoptees” phrase. ”
Not to mention that AAI has placed 3 children in the past 20 months that have DIED. Two from starvation!
Zip it! 
(18) PAP’s Adoption Billboard to market themselves
(19)Gazillion Voices Am I a Sellout? article
http://gazillionvoices.com/am-i-a-sellout-why-i-work-for-an-adoption-agency/#.Uhf65T9U2Sr
He tries to explain away the huge fees. He asks us to look at their IRS filings. He really shouldn’t have mentioned that, because I did.
He says “Another big critique of agencies, specifically Holt, revolves around records and files. In this case, it’s important to understand the distinction between Holt International Children’s Services (me) and Holt Children’s Services of Korea (Holt Korea). Despite nearly identical names and the same founder, we have been two separate, autonomous agencies since the late ‘70s, each with its own board of directors, management, budget and bylaws. Holt Korea operates independently with no managerial control from Holt International.”
Oops! He actually convinced some adoptees (see comments on article) that this is true. But it isn’t true. Holt International gives LARGE sums of money to its affiliates DESPITE the separate boards. Over $9 Million in 2010! So here’s a thought, Steve: if Holt International REALLY wants to pressure Korea, they can STOP SENDING MONEY. I assure you that will get their attention!
From the 2010 990:
And about that 990 thing… we can’t forget about how Holt paid Newsong Ministries Inc., a Christian sheet music and recording company, a staggering $1,191,307 in 2009. See our agency salary post here.
I’m still having trouble finding any information saying it’s common for kids who’ve experienced starvation to refuse to eat for days. I did find something about post-institutionalized kids being very picky eaters, either due to sensory integration disorders or the limited number of foods on the orphanage menu, but this isn’t the same thing.
http://www.mnadopt.org/Factsheets/Food%20Issues.pdf
“…Some children may exhibit the opposite end of the spectrum and eat very little. Or, they may be super-picky eaters and only eat from a small variety of foods. If your child is a very picky eater (eats less than 10 different kinds of food), you may want to have the child assessed for sensory integration issues. Often, children who have been institutionalized have sensory integration problems and/or may have been used to eating a very limited diet. For children with picky tastes, pressuring them to try new foods is likely to backfire…”
So many Facepalms, so little time:
1) Why let a little thing like being investigated by CPS for medically neglecting your newly-adopted and DEAD THREE WEEKS LATER Bulgarian daughter stop you from adopting again?
http://nachalaadopt3.blogspot.com/2013/06/somewhere-out-there.html
2) Why approving the Clanton family to adopt multiple unrelated kids with SN and decidedly iffy insurance coverage might not have been a good idea.
Yvonne writes that “Although we are eligible for Medicaid this month, we are so on the edge that any small change can make us ineligible for Medicaid so it does not good for us to even think about depending on Medicaid to pay for nursing”.
Without Medicaid, Yvonne Clanton freely admits she would NOT be able to care for her kids!
My heart goes out to her… but this is SUCH a dangerous situation! They never ever should’ve been approved to adopt those 2 girls at this particular stage of their lives!!
“SO if we were to lose our coverage with Blue Cross, then we lose our secondary with Medicaid which is based on income/dependents…then we’d have NO nursing and how would I cope with three handicapped children? It could really compromise Selah’s safety. What if Sam had a appointment? Would I try and bundle up all the kids and all of Selah’s equipment and take her? I couldn’t leave her with Steve….I can not imagine the logistics of our life if we did not have nursing care. I run all day as it is, and I’m glad to do so BUT I’m only one person!!! I have NO one to help me during the day when Jon is at work and guess what he has to work and be on the grounds of the prison 40 hours a week”.
Little Selah was able to walk, eat and breathe unassisted when the Clantons adopted her from a Ukrainian mental institution last year… but has been comatose for just over a year!
http://myreallifebyyvonne.blogspot.com/2013/08/whew-what-day.html
3) PAPs who campaign to stop the Guatemalan government from reuniting kids with their biofamilies who love and want and have been deemed fit to raise them.
“PGN brought Pablo’s biological mother to court today. Unfortunately, she stated that she wants Pablo back… We find it very disturbing that PGN, the organization that brought her to court, would pressure her to take a child back. What is PGN’s motive? Similar coercions have been reported in other cases as well. We met with PGN officials in July 2013 and they assured us that PGN wanted Pablo to be with us. A month ago the Guatemala900 released a statement calling for an immediate end to the reunification efforts involving the almost 6 year old grandfathered adoptions in Guatemala. Unfortunately we have seen no change over the past month, instead we have seen concrete evidence that the reunification agenda still exists, and that reunification efforts, all counter to the children’s best interests at this point, continue.”
http://guatemala900.org/wp/?p=3200
4) I’ll just let this RR PAP — who adopted 4 unrelated high needs, special needs from Ukraine in less than a year and going back for MORE speak for herself:
“Orphans are rarely “better off” in their own countries. Adoptive parents get accused all the time of “stealing” away a nation’s resources, and depriving a child of the chance to know both their biological families and their own national roots. To be quite frank, as I’ve mentioned before- these children have often been completely rejected by their families. When international adoptive families show up, they aren’t paying bribes and beating down citizens for the privilege of adopting children who are in high demand. There is no line of countrymen waiting outside the orphanage seeking to adopt kids who are tagged as “damaged” even if the “damage” is so minute that it is not noticeable. .”
“I call it bunk. The fact is- a lot of kids are ditched. There were kids living in Moxie’s orphanage whose families lived nearby, and those families visited often. ”
If the kid gets lots o visits from their biofamily, how, exactly does this constitute being “ditched”??
http://www.butbygraceitcouldbeme.blogspot.com/2013/08/apples-and-oranges.html
5) Reece’s Rainbow PAP Nicole Dewberry
– clearly didn’t get the memo that pre-selecting a Ukrainian host kid to adopt is illegal
– isn’t a doctor, doesn’t speak Russian yet claims she can detect RAD in a Russian-speaking orphan she’s chatted with for 5 min
“On the team there a folks like LeAnn and Nicole that have had many years of experience with being able to recognize disorders such as RAD through the interview questions and how they interact by themselves and with others.”
– attributes the fact that 3 unrelated Ukrainian adults (16 yr old boys – 16 is the Ukrainian age of majority) didn’t wanna be adopted by her to Satan
“I have had some of those emails come in where they state I am trying to adopt an almost adult and trying to take them from their home and their life they want. Let me explain I do not twist their arms….obviously or I would have brought Slavic home. These boys 7 days before I took off I talked to them and they were ready and waiting for me to come for them”.
Or maybe after spending time with her, the guys decided they didn’t wanna live with her in the US cuz she’s a nutter??
“Sure there are some kids that want want to stay and I can spot them a mile away and there is nothing wrong with that and I am not one to push them otherwise”.
Really?? How? Despite the fact the kids speak only Russian and she speaks only English??
“These children although they do not have say in what their birth parents do with them they do have a voice and say if they wanted to be adopted should a family show for them. But moreso the important part in all this is the kids voices that are not heard that want a family because if no one is there to hear them they never make it into a forever family and they wilt away loose hope and break and their future….death, drugs, alcohol, addictions, prostitution. So email adoption haters are you asking me to lay down my sword for them and to turn away on the ones that want a family. This is my answer “hell no”. Let me make it loud and clear a big fat “HELL NO”.
Love that Nicole refuses to take NO for SN answer when near-adults don’t want US parents!
” some of these children have been heard they want family….they have family but their family will not provide and care for them so they are STUCK in the orphanage and their parents hold the control over them. They are told they cannot go to another family while they wilt away in the boarding school praying for something better.”
BOARDING SCHOOL! The kids at BOARDING SCHOOL have parents, spend weekends and holidays with their parents and are NOT IN NEED OF NEW US PARENTS!
Nicole just doesn’t get it. All this harping about Jesus and saving orphans and she cannot seem to wrap her brain around the fact that a kid with PARENTS is NOT an orphan!
” Some of these children they have a parent in prison or missing so they cannot have parental right revoked, it could be written off by a judge but no one has the kahuna’s to sign them off to be free and the child wants a family but is STUCK!”
Because their biofamilies do not want them to be adopted! Because their biofamilies visit! Because even Nicole happily admits a ton of those kids are at BOARDING SCHOOL!!
“These three beautiful girls are STUCK. The first one my friend is adopting but she is stuck in the system of becoming legally free. Marina the one in the middle I advocated for only she had a voice, wanted a family and her parents are MIA and she cannot be legally free unless signed off on. No one will touch her case. SHE IS STUCK! Little Christina….oh how little Christina longs to be with her family…a family…she has one but they visit her occasionally but will not allow her to have what she rightly desires a full time family to love, protect and care for her as every child should have and God intended. “
* head hits desk*
The girl has a family that visits — doesn’t need an adoptive family! Bioparents who do NOT relinquish parental rights clearly don’t want their child to be adopted!!!!
“ndrei on the left STUCK! He wants a family, parental right revoked but mom still has control over his decision mentally and has told him a big fat no. I even had a family willing to cross the oceans for him and his brothers. STUCK! The boys in the middle also Andrei….he and his brother so desperatly want a family. But someone would need to step up. None of these kids ask for this. They are left with decisions and pain beyond what they should bare but someone has to step up to love them whether it be there or from afar, pray for them, hear them, advocate for them, minister into their lives….whatever God is calling you to do. I am sure he is not saying hey they don’t matter just ignore the need whatever it may be. Again God calls us to do something other then sit in pews and judge people or write letters criticizing the moves of the righteous or willing. Until we can wear white we have no business judging or speaking bad about anyone. I do not believe any one of us will be wearing white accept Christ.”
http://andthisonematters.blogspot.com/2013/08/in-trenches.html
For the Guat entry: They now twist reunification into coercion! These people are completely insane. The rest are all scary. I don’t understand how visas can be granted for children who will definitely be on the public dole (Medicaid).
Carlee,
While agreeing that the Clantons shouldn’t have been allowed to adopt 2 unrelated kids who both needed high-level care, I kind of think their primary insurer Florida Blue made a bum call by ruling that the Clantons didn’t need to sleep.
That’s the entire point of night nursing– to allow parents to sleep at night so that they can function during the daytime– including such things as “holding down an income-producing job to pay their insurance premiums”. You can’t perform well enough to avoid getting fired if you’re staying up every other night to make sure your kid’s trach doesn’t get clogged with secretions so that she suffocates. And what if a chronically sleep-deprived parent nods off from exhaustion while on BreathWatch?
Sleep is a physiological need– you’d think someone working for a health insurance company would know that.
Yay! I again made RT, courtesy of Carlee. Can I tell you how many of us read this blog purely so we can laugh at how you manage to mangle the most clear cut of stories?
Just an FYI- I’m not friends with Yvonne Clanton. But I have to speak out and ask if you actually read the blogs you list on here? I read the blog entry- when she and her husband were approved to adopt, they had Blue Cross Blue Shield, just as they do now. BCBS happens to be one of the most well-known, reputable private insurance companies in the US. I cannot fathom anyone thinking that BCBS would not be sufficient for medical care for their children, adopted or bio, special needs or perfectly healthy. What she is describing is sadly more and more common, as insurance companies often take the cheapest way out- you pay premiums each month for years, and then have to fight for what you need through appeals. That’s life. She’s doing what a good mother does- pushing to get her child the care she needs, to keep her out of the nursing home. What happened to Selah is no different than if they had a car wreck and she had a TBI- an accident is an accident. No one can plan for those, but they seem to be making the best of the situation. If BCBS would cover what is needed instead of deferring and pushing Medicaid to cover it, then life would be easier. A doctor has said their full time nursing care is medically necessary- Florida is already in big trouble in the courts for not following federal mandates to get disabled children OUT of nursing homes. If you want to bash someone, bash the Florida government and an insurance company whose admins think they know more than medical doctors.
As for my blog post, since I am well aware from reading your many posts (some of which you’ve tried to comment on my blog!) that you struggle with reading comprehension, let me clarify something for you- first off, if you had ever been to Eastern Europe and/or any foreign government and spent any amount of time in an orphanage, you would fully understand why I said they’ve been ditched.
But better yet- if you had not deliberately been trying to twist my post into something that could give you five minutes of “fame” on here, you would have done the complete quote from my blog- where I said that I call bunk- and then proceed to point out that although some children had families that continued to visit them- they were in the minority. A much larger percentage of the children were DITCHED- born with deformities or illnesses, and then stuck in the orphanage and left for the rest of their lives.
READ the FULL post, Carlee. I am all for ethical adoptions. You won’t see me fighting to take a child who has an active family involved- far from it. If a child has a family who cares, then those roots need to be preserved. I believe very strongly in that. There are kids though, that have been completely abandoned, through death or family choice, that no one wants- like my four. They need, and deserve, good families who will love them forever. I would first rather biological parents/families keep their children, second that they be adopted or put in guardianship in their own countries, and third, be adopted internationally. But we need to stop sugarcoating everything. Not everyone with functional ovaries and a uterus has a desire to be a parent. Look at the abortion rate worldwide- there’s a lot of folks that just don’t want kids- or that kid- or a broken kid. In EE, abortion isn’t as common. Instead, those that didn’t want the baby just dump their kids into orphanages after birth.
If you want to be taken seriously- then stop acting like a troll. There are plenty of real news articles that you can report on, you don’t have to exaggerate, twist, or skew information to get attention.
As for us adopting again, why, yes, you are correct! To be quite frank, our four kiddos- all unrelated, all with special needs, three adopted at the same time only six months after our first- are doing INCREDIBLY well. They are thriving, growing, learning, loving. They are happy, funny, sweet and amazing- and they have asked us to bring more kids home. They’re 7, 6, almost 5 and 3.5. They know exactly what ditched kids live in- and they want their friends, or other kids, to join us here. I could understand you bashing us if we were having issues, or our kids were in DSS custody, or anything negative- but seriously? Have you read my blog? Seen the pictures? We’ve socialized with about 40 other families, and met with our social worker, and have regular contact with doctors, nurses, and therapists- all of which have encouraged us to adopt again, because they know we love our kids and help them reach their potential, through God’s wonderful grace. If you want to pick a poster family for older child/unrelated multiples “adoption failure,” you’re definitely barking up the wrong tree. Maybe you need to stop and realize that you’re not an adoption expert, and just because something doesn’t work for one family doesn’t mean that it cannot work for another.
But thanks for sending more readers our way…it’s funny, this site has a reputation for being a real joke. We have a running contest amongst IA families where if you’re featured on here, we go donate to their FSP. It’s kind of like a drinking game, I guess- if you’re watching the weather and they say “90 percent chance” you drink up. Well, we donate. When I first heard of this site, I was actually excited. I went into social work because my heart hurt for the kids who were getting traumatized because of the foster care system, and I was sickened by people who would pay anything to get their perfect little Caucasian newborn with no baggage. DSS, adoption agencies, foster care networks, government policies- they DO need reform. I was hoping for a serious, reputable, trustworthy blog that cataloged real issues and brought together a network of reformers.
This blog does NOT meet those criteria. It’s like the tabloids at the checkout- garbage, nonsense, and distorted mess.
You are the comedy. Remember that! LOL
Ahhh, your wit, it mortally wounds me, Rally. I shall retreat to a hole and wither away into nothingness at the harshness of your words …
But honestly, I’ve heard some speculation that Carlee/Stan/Rally- all of you guys are just one and the same, perhaps an adult adoptee or bitter birth mother with an identity integration disorder that manifests online as concerned adoptive parents, trolls, disgruntled adoptees, etc. Your comment rather seems to support that- as though my statements to Carlee in fact offended you.
There are real issues out there- like the Baby Veronica case. Or the Anna Mae He fiasco from a decade ago. Or any of the situations where children are being caged, traded for sex trafficking, sold, etc. But I don’t get the issue with fundraising for the initial costs of adoption- or the opposition to adoption in general. Adoption, and fundraising for it- are legal. People fundraise for things all the time- senior trips to museums, little league trips to camp, mission trips to developing nations, medical expenses for children after unexpected diagnoses or accidents, all kinds of different situations. If you don’t like it, then don’t give. Better yet, don’t read the blogs of people who are actively fundraising. I don’t like gambling- so therefore, I don’t go to casinos, and I don’t buy lottery tickets. Case closed.
But I find it odd why you would support Carlee’s posts- which obviously and repeatedly misquote blogs or deliberately distort them for the potential publicity. “Carlee” is a laughingstock on the adoption blogger world. I cannot fathom anyone taking her/him/them seriously.
It’s obvious from looking at this site that you go to a lot of effort to organize things. I would think that you would want a true “reform” site to really focus on the hard issues- to research and present quality information, not just a random collection of mess. Everyone knows the media doesn’t get things straight, and so you need to do some research before you quote things- but that doesn’t seem to happen here.
But perhaps you’re not really seeking reform- just drama?
Someone really seeking to reform would publish reputable, well-researched information on verifiable issues that are illegal, with a focus on bringing people together who really care about child welfare to actually accomplish something. Like recognizing that the state of Florida is warehousing disabled children in nursing homes, using loopholes of the law to justify their neglect- and then starting a campaign to contact legislators and civil rights advocacy groups to stir up attention on their behalf? Or researching the issues with defunding therapeutic group treatment homes in most states, resulting in children who have serious and chronic psych issues being put into lockdown psych facilities, bouncing back and forth in and out, never getting better? Or the issues with lack of adequate staffing due to chronic underfunding in county DSS programs nationwide, which leads to overworked social workers who lose track of cases- of children- or who don’t have the time to do what they need to do because they cannot manage their caseload, leading to burnout and rapid turnover, leading to more kids falling through the cracks. Why not start advocating for better funding? or a better system of tracking cases and reports of abuse/neglect? There are many families who genuinely need help- why not help change the nation’s perspective about child welfare, and help others to see that children are people, and entitled to full protection and rights under the law?
You don’t read much, do you, Renee. Our home page says and we repeat that all 3 authors of this blog are adoptive parents. I guess that shocks you. No, none of us are Carlee or Stan or any other commenter. You will have to ask them what their background is as I don’t speak for the backgrounds of other people and for the 100th time, the authors of this blog do not post on people’s personal blogs. We don’t have time for that.
I am sure it shocks you that MANY DIFFERENT people do not like how PAPS and APs blog. You just can’t take that, can you? You can’t even meditate on that one for 2 seconds, can you?
The examples that *we* present are linked to our 9 reform pieces or the red flags or child collector points that we have assembled. We allow anyone to post what gives them a facepalm too. It is not about “liking” or “backing up” anyone. It is about giving our readers a place to vent about the lost causes and to make others aware about what REAL PAPs and APs are doing. Without linking to these blogs, no one would believe us that people actually blog about the things that they do.
We have been reporting on the Veronica case since January 2012-when we first learned of it and have compiled one of the most comprehensive posts on it. But you don’t care about that because you have not bothered to seek that out on our site. See our 3 posts at https://reformtalk.net/category/dusten-brown/
We do not oppose adoption. For the 100th time, we are for ethical adoptions that follow UNCRC which means family preservation first, followed by domestic adoption, then international adoption. EACH child to be assessed individually and NO adoption agency or PAP being involve in termination of parental rights.
Your comparison of fundraising for a child (especially high-postplacement-cost special needs children) placements to a field trip is ridiculous! These children will have long-term out of pocket expenses that will affect both the adoptive family and SOCIETY through taxation for many of these children that will end up on Medicaid. A field trip does not have this. We talk about this because CHILDREN’S LIVES are at risk. So, NO we will NOT ignore it.
You clearly have not read any other post but our venting Facepalm posts. Sad.
You can do whatever you want for reform, but you don’t get to dictate what we post here. We post statistics, medical research and many other things that you have not bothered to look at. We report on DSS programs, and the woeful RTCs too. We advocate weekly for abuse and neglect reporting and we do not feel that the current foster care system should have money thrown at it. It needs to fundamentally change-be completely demolished and rebuilt- from yanking kids out of homes to giving service in homes and dealing with mental health issues and being honest to foster parents about the backgrounds of the children. We try to get reporters to cover these things too. But of course, you don’t care about that, because IF you did, you would have already seen that on our blog.
Hi Rally,
I wanted to comment below your post, but I noticed that the “reply” feature is missing from your comment.
First, yes, I read quite a bit. I enjoy it, great hobby. I have certainly read that your blog is coordinated by three adoptive parents. However, I am educated enough to realize that not everything your read on the internet is true. You know what I mean? Crazy fat hairy pedophile men pretending to be 12 year old boys, a group of popular teenagers pretending to be the captain of the football team trying to hook up with the class nerd- the internet is known for people who lie about their identity, isn’t it? So forgive me, but unless you’re willing to come out of the blogger closet and reveal yourself as reputable adoptive parents, I, like many others on the internet, will continue to speculate as to your true identity. I’m sure you understand that you cannot simply say it and then demand that we all believe it, right?
As for the way people blog, of course I realize that people don’t always like the way other people blog. I’m not sure why you believe that I cannot allot 2 minutes of my time to “meditate” on that concept, but in fact, I don’t like all other blogs. That’s why I don’t read ones that I don’t enjoy, just like I wouldn’t choose to go to dinner with someone that bored me or annoyed me. But I respect their right to express themselves in whatever means they feel appropriate, as long as it is legal. It bothers me when I see parents bashing their children, even more when I see them bragging of how they suppressed their child’s freedom of expression or broke their spirit, or hid from them the truth about their history. I worry when I read of families that are falling apart and they blame it on a child, rather than realizing that the adults have the responsibility to get help for their family. But I typically offer a hand of help to those people, privately, rather than “expose” their misfortune and misery for the sake of upping my blog readership. Exposing them for public ridicule does nothing but harm the family- adding to stress, when then increases the likelihood that chaos will hit their family and someone might get hurt.
I have actually read the Veronica story, although I haven’t needed to see it on your blog- I follow the headlines. I think it is an absolute tragedy that the child is now being disrupted from a family that is caring for her and who is her biological family, for the sake of lawsuits by the adoptive family. I think that biological fathers are often cheated of the chance to parent by a system that discounts their importance in a child’s development and that grieves me.
So if I’m reading this correctly- you claim you’re ok with adoption in general, as long as it follows the law. I agree. In fact, our adoptions did just that- our children’s biological parents were either deceased or had been TPR’d or relinquished long before we ever set foot in Eastern Europe.
But it also seems that you have issue with children being adopted if it’s going to affect taxpayers, am I reading that correctly? You’re concerned about children ending up on Medicaid. That concerns me. It seems as though you are opposed to special needs adoption specifically, for that reason.
My family has private insurance. We adopted children with special needs, none of which are likely to need Medicaid as adults, although truthfully, that is none of your business. We pay taxes, I’m assuming you do as well. My hope is that all of my children will grow up to be responsible, productive citizens. However, no one can predict the future. You could be in a terrible car accident next week that renders you helpless and dependent on state care. You could suffer job loss, a period of poverty- anything could happen. We don’t adopt children based on their future earning ability- we adopt children because kids deserve families, regardless of their abilities or disabilities.
Fundraising for the initial costs of adoption is often done to keep the family from having to empty their savings account to adopt. By families fundraising, they are able to pay for the fees from our government and foreign governments, and airfare, and save $20K for later medical expenses and needs of the children. Some know that they can provide for the child in the daily costs of living- but simply cannot afford the out of pocket expenses for the adoption. Regardless, if a social worker has decided they are capable of providing for a child or children, that is their personal business. USCIS looks closely at families to make sure they have adequate resources to care for a child.
Also, I have read several of your other posts. Sometimes the graphics are distracting and I get tired of sorting through the uneven lines, but yes, I have read many of your posts on the domestic system. I agree- continuing to fund a very broken system is foolish, however, I also believe that even as you advocate for something new, you must continue to try to fix what is currently broken in order to protect the kids currently being served. I have actually enjoyed reading some of your DSS articles- and I have found it helpful when you continue to follow stories of abuse/neglect within the system. In no way am I trying to dictate what you do with your blog (although ironically, it appears you want to do dictate to apaps and paps what to do with theirs!), but I am encouraging you to focus on what is productive. Carlee’s continued fascination with misquoting and distorting the lives of the adoptive parents with RR takes away from your blog. It distracts, and makes it appear foolish.
I would seriously be on board with a reform group that was willing to do some grassroots advocacy to change the US DSS system- and I know many others who would as well. Many of us cut our teeth on the foster care system, and gave up trying to adopt kids that are spending their lives in foster care, because the system was so severely damaged.
Some of what you do is good- but by allowing Carlee to post, and appearing to support her posts and/or defend her, it detracts from the message you’re supposedly trying to push. Consider it. You mentioned yourself that you have “tried to get reporters” to cover the DSS issues- have you considered that maybe they don’t take you or this site seriously because of the nonsense that Carlee contributes? Anyone that reads her comments and then actually goes to the blogs can tell that she’s not informed or accurate.
Renee,
Overall. you seem to care about “the law” and that is that. First of all, the types of things we cover here often are about corruption, so the law is not being followed.Much has to change in the adoption system especially with training social workers and punishing the bad agencies. That is not happening as “the law” does NOTHING about it. We also care about the ethics and morals of the process and agencies. You don’t mention that whatsoever and that is a problem.
I have no idea why it deeply matters to you which adoptive parents we are. Read the content!The need for reform is obvious if you just read the content. Some adoption reformers need to have their names in lights and be praised. We do not. In fact, many of the blogs that appear in our venting columns have that narcissistic tendency. Hilarious that you want us to praise our personal lives on a blog about reform. It is NOT about us, but about the outcomes for the adoptees.
Outcome is not about 1-3 years postadoption. Disruptions and abuse occur often after that timeframe. The only outcome that matters is what the adoptee says when he/she is an adult. Adoptive parents can’t speak for the outcome of an adoption.
About “exposing” adoptive parent blogs: WE are not making private blogs public. MANY people and governments have already read these PUBLIC blogs that PURPOSELY are exposed to the world. What a weak position for you to take.
I have no idea why you brought up Veronica when you didn’t bother to see whether we are covering the case. You accused me of not covering important things and now you claim that you read CPS stories? Whatever.
About Medicaid: the only immigrant that is allowed legally in this country yet on Medicaid is an adopted child. The homestudy is supposedly there to evaluate whether a family can afford to raise the child. Obviously they cannot if the child is on Medicaid immediately. I was not talking about you when I mentioned the Medicaid. I am talking in general terms. Not only is the taxpayer affected by adoption tax credit which should not be there because it lines the pockets of the adoption agencies. Literally agency fees have risen in direct proportion of increased tax credits (doubled overnight when the credit doubled), but now they have to pay for medical care. Why does that matter, you ask? All of these blogs talk about how the PAP is the one doing this “saving” when the money to do so really is being forced on the American taxpayer. No, I do not think international adoption should be taxpayer funded. Adoption is a personal choice and a privilege. Stop twisting my words about special needs adoptions. All of the author’s children have varying special needs. We are for ethical special needs placements to prepared families. Note that I don’t focus on LAW like the focus of your comments is. Social workers rubberstamp many of these homestudies and we have seen homestudy shopping when they don’t. One major corruption is that the homestudy agent works for the agency and/or is funded directly by the PAP. Other countries have helped to reduce the corruption of the rubberstamped homestudy by having a neutral government party perform the homestudy. Private homestudy operators have NO incentive to deny the homestudy in the US.
Your line about USCIS looking closely at adequate resources is a joke. No they don’t. They are part of the corruption.
I do not dictate what other people blog about and like I said I don’t go on their blogs to comment either. They do not take the adoptee’s interests to heart when they publicly blog and I will continue to talk about that here.You are the one that wants to shut down what I do here because you don’t like it,don’t like other commenters , don’t think I am effective etc etc etc etc.
Do you go to other blogs and harass the owner to disallow certain commenters,too?
Take your own advice about not visiting blogs and reading them…just stop reading the posts here.
Renee – Your kids have been home, what, 12-18 months? It’s great you feel your adoption is successful… but I’m interested what your KIDS will have to say about it 5-10 years.
I’m a horrible person for wanting each and every adopted kid to have the best possible chance of successfully bonding and thriving in their new family? Guilty as charged.
Hi “Name,”
Thanks for asking. My oldest has been home 18 months. Our youngest three have been home 10 months. And yes, I am quite sure our adoption is “successful”- if you choose to define it by generally accepted criteria, such as: children are physically thriving, receiving top notch medical care, have gone from severe educational deficits to functioning within the normal ranges for their grade, have made significant gains in physical abilities, are reaching the goals they have set for themselves, are socially well-adjusted, have bonded and attached appropriately, are happy and loving and funny and unique and are adored by us. They love each other, and play extremely well.
If you’ve read my blog, then you would know we were very well prepared for our adoptions. We are open with our children about their histories, and respect their opinions and preserve their memories. We take time with each kid, every day, and have built relationships with them as unique individuals- not as a “set” of kids.
But in fact, we have found, in our years of experience, that it is actually much easier on most kids if they enter a new placement with siblings or children they knew well from prior placements, in terms of transition and security. In the case of our three youngest children, our boys had been best friends and groupa mates from the time our younger son left the baby groupa and moved into the toddler groupa, until the point where our older son was transferred to the internat. They had been known as “peas in a pod, two of a kind” and were very similar in diagnosis and temperament. They had a history together, and meant something to each other. Even now, it is not uncommon to hear them talk about something they remembered from the babyhouse. In most ways, they were brothers- their beds were side by side, they spent all day every day together, they played together and ate together. When our older son was transferred out a year before we adopted them, our younger daughter was put in his spot. That led to a close friendship between them as well, again, simulating a sibling relationship.
Having them all come home together helped them so much! They had built in playmates, they learned English together (which greatly reduced the frustration most kids feel when they arrive in the US and struggle with communication. Our younger son and oldest daughter spoke Russian and English, and between the six of us, we all communicated well.
There is never a “one size fits all” approach to social justice- including the issue of adoption. For our first adoption, our daughter needed us intensely at first, and so we only adopted her. But, she had only been home for weeks when she started asking for brothers and a sister. We respected that- and chose to go back to her homeland to bring home children who shared her heritage and culture, while she was still young, and also quickly enough that she still retained some of her native language, so that she could easily communicate with them.
As for the “horrible person” comment- those are your words, and to be honest, I think you’re being extreme and dramatic. I’m sorry if you view yourself as a horrible person. I think you’re misinformed and more than a little narrow-minded, as well as being erroneously convinced of your own superiority in adoption placement recommendations (which by the way, are not aligned with best practice evidence-based research, if you’re interested, which advocates for a case-by-case analysis of the potential adoptive parents’ experience, training, support system and other criteria as is done in a homestudy) but I don’t think you’re a horrible person.
I think it’s fair to say that the vast majority of social workers, potential adoptive parents, and current adoptive parents (including myself) would like each and every adopted child to have the best possible chance of successfully bonding and thriving in their new family. Certainly I cannot imagine any family deliberately choosing to jeopardize or impede that for a new child- that would be both counterproductive and detrimental. We very carefully evaluated our family resources and abilities before we adopted, and although we were ready to adopt quickly after our first daughter arrived, we chose to wait a much longer period after our second adoption. Our children are our priority- our focus. We spend our days playing with our children, teaching them, lovingly guiding them, assessing their needs and then adjusting our methods to best assist them in learning and growing and loving each other and us and themselves.
Do you actually know what gives an adopted child the “best possible chance” of bonding and thriving? Do you honestly think being an only child, or being the only child adopted at one time is the key to that? It is so much more complex- the ability to attach is affected by parenting styles, personalities of the adoptive parents and new child, psychosocial history of the adoptive parents and new child, and even medical conditions that the new child may have that affect oxytocin production.
If you truly want for children to have the best chance at succeeding in their families, then consider how you can HELP those families. Put together a blog that lists resources that potential adoptive families can use to prepare for adoption, including information on TF-CBT and qualified therapists state by state who provide it- it would take time to call and do the research, but believe me, there are plenty of families who would love to have a list that they could access with that information. Put together a list of books and blogs that deal honestly and positively about these topics. Contact your legislators and advocate for changes to the preparation requirements for potential adoptive families- have them include face to face group workshops that allow for roleplays, have them include siblings in the preparation, including intensive training on factors that affect the developmental attachment foundation- and methods for working with children from specific attachment backgrounds. Put together a website that breaks down challenging behaviors and their possible root causes. Do some research about what actually works in adoptive families- survey adoptive families, look at professional journals and read articles, etc.
DO something if you’re really concerned about it. Educate. Participate. Advocate.
But to continue attacking random bloggers- who you have never had a conversation with, never interviewed, never met, never observed their children, never talked to their children’s medical/therapy providers- that’s irresponsible and inflammatory, and quite frankly, shows either extreme immaturity or impracticality, whichever is applicable in your particular situation.
Ask yourself- do your troll posts actually accomplish anything? You claim to want to help children- can you name a single child who has been helped by your posts? There’s a quote often attributed to Einstein that states “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.”
You continue to post slanderous statements and misquoted excerpts from adoption blogs and FB posts, and you claim you’re doing it to help the children. Is it working? Do you see change because of your “work”?
If so, please provide evidence of that. I sure haven’t heard of a single family that has changed their parenting style, discipline methods, adoption schedule or anything else because of your posts. The most you’ve accomplished that I know of is to cause people to make donations in your honor to FSP’s, and sometimes, for people to moderate comments on their blogs. Congrats- you’ve accomplished so much!
The reply was me (carlee)… I’d forgotten to type in my name.
Also, there’s this great feature called PASSWORD PROTECT. Works great to stop folks from linking to it.
Renee,
There are actually pages which give APs resources such as organizations which help them pay for sedation dentistry, as well as information about “what works” research.
As it happens, the research says that adopting multiple unrelated kids at once is a bad idea. Yes, sometimes this kind of placement works fine– but it’s also associated with more bad outcomes than adopting one child at a time, and getting that child fully stabilized before pursuing another adoption.
I just gotta say, Renee is right. This website is a running joke among adoptive families, both domestic and international, RR and non-RR. It really is endlessly entertaining to read… so thanks so much for the laughs. Not to mention the slaps on the back and badges of honor families get when their blogs are featured on your site. You know you must REALLY be doing something right for all these people who claim to have lives to spend their precious time copy and pasting your blog and criticizing it! Oh, and I’m going to go ahead and include my blog in the space provided. Really, it would be endlessly entertaining to hear what you have to say about me… and I’d love the traffic boost for my blog and the FSP boost for the families I advocate for that Renee mentioned. Kudos! You made my Thursday morning extremely entertaining.
[Sorry Katie, this blog is not for your self-promotion, so I am not linking to you. Aw…..]
I just also had to pitch in about the Clantons. Whilst I think there are good reasons to be very cautious with multiple unrelated SN adoptions, I don’t see how the circumstances of the adoption can be specifically considered causative to accident that Selah Clanton suffered. I’ve read Yvonne’s blog and some of the news coverage and it just looks like one of those dreadful accidents that could happen to any family.
Further to this, as Selah’s medical needs were a great deal less severe at the time of the adoption, so the insurance the Clantons had was most likely sufficient. Nobody could have predicted what happened to poor Selah, so how can they be considered irresponsible now, when they’re only just recently being put into a precarious medical situation?
Name,
Re: “…Whilst I think there are good reasons to be very cautious with multiple unrelated SN adoptions, I don’t see how the circumstances of the adoption can be specifically considered causative to accident that Selah Clanton suffered…”
I myself believe the most “causative” factor in Selah’s accident was that no one warned them in the pre-adoption training NOT to use a jogging stroller as your primary transport! If a stroller is needed for a SN kid, you need to buy a special needs stroller with an AUTOMATIC brake which engages when the adult lets go of the stroller.
Failing that, you need to use a safety wrist strap at all times– something that should also be covered in pre-adoption training. A photo of the Clanton family taken after the accident shows Yvonne using a bright red one, and keeping her hand firmly on her son’s stroller regardless, even though they’re standing on a grassy verge rather than the paved trail. Too late to save Selah, alas.
The other causative factor was that John Clanton’s wristwatch had stopped, and they hadn’t had time to replace it, resulting in his need to check the time on his cell phone– and let go of the stroller to shield the glare so he could read it. With one less high needs child to care for, would Yvonne have remembered to pick up a replacement wristwatch for him while shopping at Wal-Mart for other needs? Or would John have been able to steal a half hour for himself to buy one?
We’ll never know. But the what-ifs are heartbreaking, especially when you look at before and after photos of Selah.
Astrin,
Yes, the what-ifs are heartbreaking. But they are what-ifs, nothing more. You have a bunch of correlations between the Clantons having adopted 2 high needs kids at once, a busy day, a watch needing to be replaced, and poor choice of stroller, and the accident itself.
The thing about not being briefed about the right kind of stroller in pre-adoption training, how often does that kind of information get handed out anyway? Given what we know about the deficiencies of pre-adoption training it wouldn’t surprise me if the Clantons just didn’t know this.
So I’m still not seeing any causal relationship between the type of adoption the Clantons chose to pursue, and the accident itself. Lots of factors that correlate, but correlation =/= causation. Therefore I think it is very unfair to hold up the Clantons as an example of what can go wrong in a multiple-kids-with-SN-at-once adoption.
Nobody could have predicted what was going to happen to Selah. They may well have had adoption related problems 2 or 5 or ten years down the line, who knows, but given the drastic change in Selah’s health now, her medical condition dwarfs everything else. So it would be unfair to speculate about such things either.
Name,
I know that pre-adoption education for parents planning a SN adoption doesn’t cover “stroller safety” at present– I’m just saying it SHOULD. Even ambulatory kids may not be strong enough to walk long distances, and many parents of kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorder use strollers in public as a containment/safety measure.
I feel fairly confident from reading their blog that if someone HAD pointed out the dangers of a rollaway pre-adoption the Clantons would have been using safety straps from the get-go!
Little Selah has been comatose and wheelchair-bound for over a year and her parents still don’t have a car that can transport her wheelchair:
“My days will be full with taking her twice a day for 1.5 hours of HBOT. Transporting Selah is so hard. We really need to get a wheelchair accessible van but you know right now I’m focused on Selah….I’d so much rather see her get better”.
And your point? I have an extended family member who has identical twin boys who have Muscular Dystrophy. They are 18 now. Just two years ago, for the first time ever, they got a van with a lift. Prior to that they just didn’t go anywhere as a family, and other than the accessible school bus that picked them up for school, the boys were shut ins. Insurance doesn’t cover the adaptations to make a van accessible. Oh, when they got their van? It was donated by the Lions Club.
Shut ins for 16 years?!? How very, very sad. No public transportation? No saving up for a van? I guess the Clantons plight falls into this category, in that the family car was able to transport her at the time she was adopted.
(Families that choose to adopt a wheelchair bound kid should be required to demonstrate HOW they will transport that child to and from school, church, play dates, etc. If they can’t, they shouldn’t be approved to adopt said child).
No public transportation in residential areas near their house. And in a Minnesota winter, making your way down snowy side streets in a wheelchair isn’t great. I agree with one point. Actually, it is my personal belief that a family who chooses to adopt a child who is known to need a significant level of medical intervention be required to live within a reasonable distance of those services, be able to transport them there AND that their insurance will cover those services. As it is, we’ve been home 4 months and my newest son hasn’t had his dental work done yet. It was scheduling problems that caused the delay, but it’s been too long and he’s in pain.
As for medicaid, in some states a child qualifies based solely on diagnosis, not necessarily family finances. We have four with DS. Only my bio daughter with ds AND brain injury qualifies. But it is not free. I have to pay a parental fee for the services.
HBOT?! Why is she getting HBOT? The only medically proven reason that she might be getting it is if she has bedsores (which raises all sorts of other questions). Otherwise, they’re doing quack therapy in the hopes that it does something — anything — and dumping money they don’t have down a bottomless hole.
Terrie, it is experimental for traumatic brain injuries. I don’t know who is paying for it-that is an important question- but it is not quackery either. There are all kinds of experimental therapies for traumatic brain injuries-how do you think things get medically proven? Most cancer regimens are part of clinical trials.
Here is a metaanalysis of studies that was published at the end of 2012 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23235612 It shows some promise. A couple quotes ” The Glasgow Coma Scale (GCS) has a total of 15 points, and two small trials reported a significant improvement in GCS for patients treated with HBOT (MD 2.68 points, 95%CI 1.84 to 3.52, P < 0.0001), although these two trials showed considerable heterogeneity (I(2) = 83%). " and "The improvement of 2.68 points in GCS is difficult to interpret. This scale runs from three (deeply comatose and unresponsive) to 15 (fully conscious), and the clinical importance of an improvement of approximately three points will vary dramatically with the starting value (for example an improvement from 12 to 15 would represent an important clinical benefit, but an improvement from three to six would leave the patient with severe and highly dependent impairment). The routine application of HBOT to these patients cannot be justified from this review. Given the modest number of patients, methodological shortcomings of included trials and poor reporting, the results should be interpreted cautiously. An appropriately powered trial of high methodological rigour is required to define which patients, if any, can be expected to benefit most from HBOT." Not "routine application" means that doctors need to decide to use it on a case by case basis and not just automatically order this for all patients with TBI
The treatments are being done for free. The doctor heard their story and offered this to Selah.
Thanks for sharing that!
True, but unless this is being done as part of a clinical trial, it raises a lot of ethical issues. HBOT is one of those areas that does attract quacks. And, to be blunt, subjecting a child to experimental treatment in a setting without oversight is wrong, even if you’re doing it with the hope of helping them. Disabled children are not guinea pigs.
A truly terrific attitude in a PAP/AP that is simultaneously disrupting one of the Ukrainian kids he adopted last year while in the process of adopting yet another illegally pre-selected boy from the U.
What kind of social worker approves the homestudy of a disrupting fam?? Some sort of law that prohibits folks from doing this is SURELY in order!
[Edited by Rally to remove link in error. Refer to FindingThea blog link]
If a supernatural being really truly wanted this family to adopt, why wouldn’t it provide the $$$ necessary??
“These young people have waited far too long for a family. They have about a year to go before they age out of the orphanage system; if that happens, they will most likely face a short life on the street. Around 50% of the orphans in their part of the world never live to see their 25th birthday…
… Finances. At present, we have around $15,000 set aside in our adoption account. This entire ministry will cost at least $28,000 (including what we’ve spent already) when all is said and done. As we make the final push to bring Estelle and Gerard home, we are still in need of significant funding”
http://www.deutschfamilyadoption.com/2013/08/kiev-in-september.html
If you (PAP) can’t afford your homestudy $2k), perhaps you ought to reconsider undertaking a Bulgarian adoption at this time??
“need to raise $2225 in a very short amount of time- as in before our home study can be reviewed by our international agency. We’ve had a lot of delays with our home study for various reasons, but we are now ready to finalize our home study and need to pay this fee before we can proceed. Our dossier is due the end of October, so this has become a race to the finish to meet this deadline”.
http://journeytogracelyn.blogspot.com/2013/08/journey-to-gracelyn.html
Ever so responsibly contributing exactly $0 of their own hard-earned money to bring the next kid home:
“We have been blessed to have received a $4200 grant from our agency but that still leaves us to pay $25800. When you consider than many people pay over $30K for a new car that same amount to pay as a “ransom” for a child, a human life, is minimal. To sum it up we will need our “village” to help us get this child home. We are very proud and independent people. Asking for help is not anywhere in our comfort zone. It is NOT about us. It is about this child who was abandoned in the hospital at birth and is eight years old and has never known the love and nurture of a family. We will put our pride aside for her sake”.
http://anothercampbellkid.blogspot.com/2013/08/getting-real.html
Stan,
Um… who are the Rowes disrupting? I couldn’t find any mention of a disruption on their blog.
Laina and Asher
http://findingthea.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-other-side-of-adoption.html
Is this a substitution for the we’re taking baby steps blog?I also could not find where that family was disrupting.
My mistake. I mixed up the 2 families.
Ok thanks for finding these disruptons. I will add them to the list. I am going to remove the other blog link
PAPs with idiosycratic definitions of RAD that include:
“- difficulty making decisions or veering from routings
– sexual acting out or sex play with other children”
http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2011/03/psychological-impacts-of-abandonment.html
Which aren’t included in the Mayo Clinic list of RAD symptoms:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/reactive-attachment-disorder/DS00988/DSECTION=symptoms
Folks begging for someone to step forward and adopt 2 13 yr old Chinese boys who are in danger of aging out.
“Well, the truth is, all children who have experienced the pain of abandonment will have to work through that. And because of their beautiful light hair, these boys have been passed over their entire lives. The sad truth is that in China, once a child turns 14, they are no longer eligible for adoption. This means no future. They cannot get married, will likely be ineligible for work. That leaves only a few options for these vulnerable kids, and they aren’t pretty ones.
So, why am I writing this today? I want you to pray for these boys. I want you to check out their stories, to fall in love with them. Shane is a beautiful singer! http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=Shane. Wesley was abandoned when he was six! He is described as gentle and polite: http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=Wesley.”
http://crazyadoptiondreamer.wordpress.com/2013/08/27/on-my-heart/
There are APs adopting from Congo, in a private Facebook group, bragging about how to go about falsifying their child(ren)’s yellow fever/yellow health card. It is crazy. I wish there was some way to report them, but to whom?
I would report to the Department of State AskCI@state.gov I would put something like “Re: adoptive parents DRC falsification of yellow fever cards” in the memo line.
Thanks. We thought maybe the world health organization but I wasn’t sure if this was small stuff fr them. I have screen shots from the entire thread. It was crazy.
Savior complex much??
“We are not fundraising so that we can have a child. If all we wanted was a child for ourselves, there is no way I would ask complete strangers (or even friends and family) to put their money into a dream that was ours. We would save the money and do it when we had it. But that is not what this adoption is about. We are not doing this for ourselves (although it is very exciting for us too!) So what is this adoption about?
Let’s talk about Juri’s case specifically. What will his future look like? It’s hard to say as many of those decisions haven’t been made yet, but there are two possibilities I am aware of. The first is a mental institution. If he does not learn how to walk on his own (he might not without braces and regular therapy), he will likely be sent to a mental institution to live out the rest of his life. He is perfectly cognitively healthy, but because he cannot walk, there is no place for him in his society.
The other possibility is that he will be released to live on his own. In this case he would be given government housing (or apartments that should be condemned and are infested with all kinds of ugly things), a small stipend to live on and the clothes on his back. No family, no connections, nothing to help him navigate a world he has never seen or interacted with, a world that has no handicap accessible mindset and no need for a disabled orphan. With a very small chance of finding any kind of work, poverty and homelessness will almost certainly be his lot, and he would be in the minority if nothing worse happened to him.
Now do you see it? Do you see why we are so intent on rescuing this boy from the terrible cycle he’s been caught in? Why this is so much more than just adding to our family tree? These children, all of them, need out. Their home countries do not understand their worth, and so they are hidden away on the fringes of society, in institutions where no one has to look at them or interact with them.”
http://crunchylutheranmommy.com/2013/08/28/seeds-of-change/
Gotta love PAPs who embark on expensive Disney vacations while hubby is unemployed AND they’re begging for $ from strangers on the Internet to adopt 2 unrelated SN boys simultaneously!
They clearly feel entitled to the posh trip!! Jesus wants them to go!!!
“Our four wonderful biological children have been amazing through this journey but they deserve our time and attention as well. We will be traveling out of the country for a LONG time and afterwards much of our attention and time will be spent with the new little boys. Anyway….I prayed and prayed that God would allow a way for Joey to go on this trip. Well….He did:) In His own mysterious way! So we will be leaving for a week to Florida spending a few days at Disney and a few days just relaxing”
Breakfields.blogspot.com
See, in the RescuePAP ‘verse, if you set out to do an act of “selfless charity”, you’re entitled to full funding by strangers, plus all kinds of special perks and praise. The fact that this expectation contradicts the meaning of the word “selfless” — not to mention “charity”– doesn’t seem to register with anyone.
Yet another Reece’s rainbow kid is dead — 16 year old Tommy Musser, adopted from Bulgaria just over a year ago DROWNED!
http://theblessingofverity.com/2014/07/with-hearts-that-are-breaking/
“This is Susanna’s friend, Becky. I come to you with very heartbreaking news from the Musser home.
This morning precious Tommy left this world to be whole and complete with Jesus in an accidental drowning.
As you can surely understand Joe, Susanna and the children desperately need time to grieve and work through many things in these immediate days and weeks. I’m sure you will understand their need for space and quiet.
I know in these times we want to “do” something to help. I would ask you to pray, pray, pray. In time Susanna will share as many details as she feels she can, however, after spending time with her over the past several hours I can tell you that it is going to be a very long time, if ever, before Susanna can stop blaming herself for the events as they played out today. No one can possibly be harder on her than she is currently being on herself. No one who is here and knows the truth blames her….nonetheless….we are not Susanna.
Thank you, so much, for your prayers as we know you will be lifting this dear family before the Throne of God.”
Perhaps folks with a bazillion kids should hold off on adopting a high needs special needs kid until their hands are slightly less full of the kids they’ve already got !!
While the family’s blog says the death is “accidental” , it’s surely easier to supervise your 3 SN kids if you don’t have 6-7 others to simultaneously supervise!!
Ugh! 🙁 Do you know what state this is from? I would like to see an obituary.
The Mussers live in Pennsylvania, Tommy was the second high needs SN kid they’d adopted from Bulgaria:
http://articles.philly.com/2012-05-14/news/31690137_1_disabled-children-number-of-foreign-born-children-syndrome
It’s ironic (and awful) that a boy who survived 15+ years of horrific neglect in Pleven Orphanage lasted barely a year with a forever fam!
“It’s ironic (and awful) that a boy who survived 15+ years of horrific neglect in Pleven Orphanage lasted barely a year with a forever fam!” Yes it is!
Little Bulgarian Tommy Musser’s death warrants its very own post… or perhaps on a page devoted to the dead, maimed and disrupted kids “rescued” by supposedly godly alcolytes of Reece’s Rainbow!
This is the second RR death in as many months — lil Adam Mitchell, also adopted from Bulgaria less than a year ago died in June!
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/saltlaketribune/obituary.aspx?pid=171232886
I looked into the Adam Mitchell death; it doesn’t seem as if the APs did anything wrong. The boy’s hydrocephalus had been left untreated so long that there was no way to correct it by the time the Mitchells got him.
If he’d received the appropriate surgery at birth as he should have, he may have been alive today and living happily with his biological family. Possibly with disabilities, but happy nonetheless.
If we’re going to get mad about Adam’s death, let’s get mad at the right targets: Economic systems which cause poverty, social system which fail to see affordable health care as a human right, and belief systems which see the disabled as unworthy of receiving the care and accommodations they require.
All these are manifestations of a basic meme which says “If you can’t earn what you need, then you don’t deserve to have it. Don’t give me any excuses about how the deck is stacked against you; if you were TRULY worthy, you’d have pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps irregardless!”
We’ve forgotten that the phrase about bootstraps originated as a metaphor for something that’s impossible.
I agree!
Here’s an article on Tommy Musser’s death. The cornoer says he ‘accidentally’ drowned int he bathtub!
http://m.lancasteronline.com/news/local/police-investigating-death-of-boy-in-his-southern-lancaster-county/article_d4f3be1e-1979-11e4-8b7a-001a4bcf6878.html?mode=jqm
Hate to say it, but it may well be neglect. Probably is neglect.
Somebody left a 17 yo boy — who had the mental capacity of a 1 yo baby, acrroding to amommy Susanna Musser — unsupervised in a tub.
This should NOT have happened. And likely COULD have been voided!
http://m.lancasteronline.com/news/local/police-investigating-death-of-boy-in-his-southern-lancaster-county/article_d4f3be1e-1979-11e4-8b7a-001a4bcf6878.html?mode=jqm
UGH! i will make this into a How Could You?
Rally – It definitely meets the How Could You Threshold!
I found this video put up by the Mussers in August 31, 2013.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV4xzpbMwRA
Yes, Susanna Musser should have realized that Tommy had the physical capability to put himself in danger in the tub, without the mental capacity to know why he shouldn’t– or save himself if he did. You can see him reaching for the water controls in the vid… it’s a heart-stopping moment, knowing what we do now.
A child who needs assistance bathing is a child who should never be left alone with water.
It seems like this is very hush, hush, nothing on the local news in their area of New Providence. It was no secret that Susanna was struggling to keep order in her so called perfect family with Tommy’s very demanding needs. While I do not know what happened I will take a guess and say it sounds like he may have been left unattended in the bathtub and drowned. No one seems to take into account the level of care many of these children need when they join their new families. These families use these children as “attention” getters, which makes me wonder if they seem to be missing something in their own lives that they have to be acknowledged and commended for doing such a “great” thing. You see so many of these families posting about these children they have saved constantly on their blogs and FB pages while their biological children go unnoticed and you hardly ever if at all see lengthy blog post about them.