FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
(1) Ukraine
They are “house parents and chaperones at the camp in Billingsley, Alabama, organized by the Bridges of Faith ministry, which works with orphans and youngsters in Eastern Europe.”
“The couple just obtained the adoption decrees for the three blood-related siblings — sisters Alla, 9, Karina, 14, and brother Max, 11 — and are now going through a 10-day waiting period ending February 28 to complete the adoption of a 16-year-old girl, Nastia, who’s not a blood relative to the other three children.”
“On Friday, when the government and opposition leaders brokered an agreement looking to end the bloody turmoil, the couple took their four adopted children for a walk through the protest area.”
“The 16-year-old girl performed her first duty as oldest sister in her adoptive family by having two of her new step-siblings — her 14-year-old sister and 11-year-old brother — sleep in her bed during a night of intense fighting outside.
The 9-year-old girl slept with her adoptive parents. The Kiev apartment features two bedrooms with a pull-out sleeper sofa.”
“There won’t be any family plans to return to the Ukraine for a few years, and the parents won’t say no if the children, especially their 16-year-old daughter who has a 19-year-old brother in the Ukraine, want to return to Kiev soon for a visit.”
I have a headache!
(2)Quit using Adoption
http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/dear-media-people-quit-using-the-word-adoption/
“The fact is, parenting is parenting. There is no asterisk next to my name on my son’s birth certificate.”
Reformatina says,”her name should not be on her son’s BIRTH certificate. It should be on the adoption decree. And there is nothing wrong with having a birth certificate with real names and an adoption decree with real names.”
It’s all about HER!
(3)Holt
“Yes, I just saw a post last night encouraging Holt families to write in to counter the “anti-adoption” groups. ” Whoa ! The infamous “anti-adoption”groups! 
(4) Act of Love Press Release
“Ms. Kunkel celebrates a healthy heart with others as she is a survivor of Idiopathic Cardiomyopathy, a type of heart failure. Six years later at 61, with normal life expectancy, she is living proof that with will and determination even heart failure can be conquered. Her true spirit of giving from the heart is celebrated by all the clients she helps and serves. ”
Aw! Isn’t that Special?
Oh man, Renee Alan’s mad.
M. A. D.
It is notable that:
– She claims to “have the money” for the big family she wants. So why did she fundraise $40k?
– While she believes “no one except God, my husband, our social worker, and the courts in the country we’re adopting from, an explanation on how/why we know which kids will work for our family”
Clearly social workers, courts and supernatural beings aren’t so good about deciding which kids ought to go in which families… or else there wouldn’t be so many abused/killed/re-homed adopted kids.
– Her messiah complex makes me ill — the orphans she’s picking to meet her current kids’ requests (blue eyes, CP, etc) “saves” will be smothered in kisses, bathed in warmth and nurturing” unless she tires if them and disrupts as happens to far too many RR families.
– She seems to think being an ear to other adoptive mommas in crisis somehow makes it a good idea to adopt another 4-5 unrelated high-needs SN kids simultaneously.
– interesting that Renee believes a supernatural being told her to adopt. Weird that says being would have the Ukrainian political crisis happen while she’s there. Hmmmm… maybe the deity doesn’t want her to adopt and is a wee bit slow on the uptake??
“I’m making this post public, so everyone can- read it. I just literally went through my friends list and went from 300 folks to 98. I received a message earlier today, letting me know my FB posts- all for “friends” only had been copied word for word, and pasted into GOMI’s forum that bashes Christian adoptive parents, by someone calling themselves “stripesandpolkadots”. I’m sick and tired of getting bashed, slammed, and jumped. I have bent over backwards for almost 3 years, to help anyone and everyone who has asked for help on dealing with their child’s behaviors, their child’s mental health, their own mental health, gaining access to services, fundraising- all without any regards to what agency/facilitator/foundation they used. I have answered the phone at 3am, I have gotten out of the shower to talk on the phone with someone in crisis, I have walked away from more dinners than you can imagine and let my food get stone cold, when moms have called me in crisis with a raging kid or their own emotional crisis- and I would do the same thing all over again for anyone that called. If someone needs help, my heart is willing. I’ve listened to our secrets- to the hate and venom- and kept my mouth shut, and tried to help when I could. I’ve tried to stay away from the drama. But this is ridiculous. You vipers need to crawl back in your holes- because although you may be having a blast hurting other families or trying to hurt them, your day of judgment will come, and let me tell you, I don’t envy you one bit. Our family is pretty simple: we’d like a big family. We have the money and house and everything we need for a big family. We certainly have plenty of experience dealing with a wide variety of SN’s. Our kids are amazing, and everyone that meets them tells us how adorable/well-behaved/sweet they are, so we feel very comfortable adopting more. I owe no one except God, my husband, our social worker, and the courts in the country we’re adopting from, an explanation on how/why we know which kids will work for our family. The fact that anyone outside of our family thinks they should have any opinion at all in that, shows their own stupidity.
I have no clue who on my friends list would do such a thing- but I’ll say this, there are a LOT of women who happen to be adoptive moms, who happen to have the cruelest, most vile and malicious hearts of anyone I’ve ever known. Just because someone has adopted does not make them a good person, a Christian or even a decent human being. I would rather be in a group of convicted murderers, rapists and thieves, than to be locked in a cell with that group of those women- and they know exactly who they are. They delight in ruining others’ lives, in attacking those that they see as having positive experiences when they themselves are often wallowing in bitterness and remorse and anger and hatred. They carry vendettas in their hearts, animosity and bitterness, against certain groups and people, often based on 2nd, 3rd and 4th hand information- gossips in the worst degree. They always have some drama going, always have some aggravation in progress, and it is exhausting. ‘They’re always crying “conspiracy” and “ethics”- and yet, they are the very ones running cons to get info to use against others, and lying, manipulating and deceiving others.
Last week, I had shaved down my friends list to a group of folks I thought were trustworthy- and now, am proven wrong. At this point, I suspect that one of the trolls may have set up a dummy profile under one of my friends’ names, and I added them not realizing they were in their twice. I deleted everyone today, unless they met certain criteria: either I know you in person, and know you WELL, or I talk to you regularly on the phone/email (outside of FB), and know you WELL, or you are an in country family right now (and I may have accidentally deleted names I didn’t immediately recognize), and I figure we might all need each other if things actually do get bad here. I hate doing this- each time I unfriended someone, it made me quite sad. So many of you guys I have talked to online and really enjoyed conversing with-and this is a time we love to share with friends- but I have been publicly betrayed, and so must crack down on security. I apologize, sincerely, to every single person that was deleted, because I know the vast majority of people would not do such a thing. There was nothing personal- I decided if people didn’t fall into those options, then I would simply delete, that way I would not show favoritism. Sadly, this meant a lot of folks that I knew casually got deleted, and for that, I’m sorry, and very sad.
And if I know you associate regularly with that group of women who always seem to be in the middle of mess, I deleted you as well, even if I knew you well- not because of who you are, but because of the company you keep. I apologize for that, but it may very well be that someone who lacks discernment was asked by one of the malicious ones, to copy/paste my info, and they did so. I can’t tolerate that either.
So- friends- if you had ever added someone because they appeared on my friends list, do a double check. You may very well have a troll watching your every post.
And for those that I deleted who were innocent- my guess is that probably 201 of the 202 people were- I am very sorry. I will miss you, but I hope you understand where I’m coming from. I don’t know who “stripes and polka dots” is- and until that person is outed, I can only feel safe with people I know well.
The whole thing is utterly ridiculous. If these so-called “Christian women” spent half the time actually tending to their families and loving their husbands and helping their communities, they wouldn’t have time for this junk. “
The Curtin’s disregarded pretty much all the international adoption laws in the Phillippines by basically accepting a 6 month old from a woman in a parking lot. They are now really, really upset they cannot legally adopt the kid.
PAPs have this weird cognitive dissonance where they think trafficking kids is bad, laws to prevent trafficking are good unless said laws interfere with their desire to bring said kid to the US:
“We were familiar with ICAB because they had denied our original request for adoption based on the fact that this was an “identified adoption”. Who is ICAB? These are the people that ensure that all adoptions follow the letter of the law. So, what the hell does an identified adoption mean? Well, in the interest of protecting children from human trafficking and other horrible things, you are not allowed to request to adopt a specific child. Certainly, anyone could see that this wasn’t a case of human trafficking. In fact, we did not choose Aiden or identify him in any way before that night in the parking lot. When our first application was denied we were told by Gigi’s relative to allow social services to complete the process to clear Aiden for adoption and interview us to be approved as adoptive parents and we will resubmit the application to ICAB. We felt confident that if they heard our story and learned how Aiden came to be in our family they would see it for what it was.”
http://www.allinforaiden.com/longstory.html
OMG
And writing about how Aiden is 3 1/2 and they’re the only parents he knows – well, are they expecting a reward for ignoring the law when he was an infant? I am horrified that he was left in their/their parents’ care for all this time. Once they tried to file originally, he should have been removed.
I don’t care how special and wonderful and best parents ever, willing to sacrifice everything! you are – you don’t get to take home a child you picked up in a parking lot against international law just because you want to.
Dad’s just lost his job, but that’s no reason not to start another adoption as soon as their youngest child turns 9 months old.
“…As many of you know, this past Friday, we were forced into a time of rest we were not anticipating. Daniel was called into his boss’s office and told his position was being eliminated immediately; he could spend the day how he wished and head home as soon as he wanted. I distinctly remember just a few months back sharing with some friends in my MOMS group at church how blessed we felt with his employment; a steady, secure job that was more than providing our family and allowing us to work financially toward our call to adopt. The Lord has provided nearly $11,000 toward our upcoming adoption costs, and we can’t stop thanking Him for continuing to bring in funds when we had no physical ability to do the hard fundraising work (did I mention that sweet baby girl who hates sleeping?)… We can’t wait for the end of March when Zoe turns 9 months old and we will be allowed to update our home study again and see what the Lord has in mind for our family as we actively pursue adoption again!…”
http://danielandmae.blogspot.com/2014_02_01_archive.html
Please note that these PAPs adopt healthy newborns, even though there’s a waiting list of financially-solvent parents eager to adopt such children, irrespective of race. But they insist that they’re adopting in order to provide a family for a needy child– and they’re begging strangers to give them to money to do so.
Chutzpah has a new poster child.