FacePalm Friday: Adoptee/Foster Child and Neglect
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Andrew Burd case
So Hannah Overton will NOT re-tried in Andrew Burd’s death.
See here for this Foster Child case. Let’s review some of his case.
“Larry decided to do the following to squelch Andrew from getting up in the middle of the night to steal food: He told him he would make as much food as Andrew wanted. That meal consisted of 18 eggs and a plate of sausage. Andrew ate it all and threw up. Again, this clearly shows that the Overtons had no clue on how to deal with Andrew’s issues. They also let him eat 5 bananas at a time and a whole jar of pickles on another occasion according to 20/20 interview.”
***
“Texas Monthly says “Before the family returned home, Andrew asked if he could have lunch, and Hannah told him that he needed to wait; Larry was bringing them something to eat, she explained, and he would be back in a few minutes. Andrew flew into a rage. He defecated on the floor of his bedroom, then smeared feces on the bed, the dresser, and the walls.
Larry attempted to restore order upon his return, putting Andrew’s soiled sheets in the garbage and hosing off the boy and his foam mattress in the backyard. While Larry tried to scrub down the bedroom, Andrew pulled his sheets out of the trash several times, despite repeated warnings not to do so.
The 20/20 interview available at the FreeHannah site shows that the garbage can that the sheets were in was in the kitchen with easy access for Andrew to get at. It is unclear why they disposed of something so smelly inside the house. It also shows the outdoor grill as the place where the sheets were burned (approx. minute 14:33 to 14:35 of video). ”
***
““Ulcerated lesions on one of his hands, bruises to his knee, face, chest and buttocks, along with sores on one of his elbows, were depicted in the photos.”
“”There were so many bruises and scratches it would have been difficult to describe them all,” Rotta said, adding that photos made documenting the injuries easier. ”
“Some of the areas on Andrew’s body with scratches were unlikely to be self-inflicted, Rotta said.”
***
“During the trial, prosecutors questioned why Overton and her husband made several phone calls but none to 911, and delayed taking the boy to a clinic for more than 1 1/2 hours. One of the doctors who treated the boy that day testified their delay in seeking help reduced his chances for survival.
When polled, all 12 jurors said they found her guilty because of her failure to act.”
***
“During the trial, Overton, a former licensed vocational nurse, admitted she gave Andrew a cup of water mixed with spices but said it wasn’t to punish or harm him.”
“Sharon Hamil, Andrew’s foster mother for the 18 months before he lived with the Overtons, said she remembered a much different boy.
“When I had Andrew I didn’t have any problems,” Hamil said. “To me he was a happy, typical child.””
***
“Hannah Overton was convicted of capital murder in the poisoning death of 4-year old Andrew Burd. She will spend the rest of her life in prison.
Hannah’s husband, Larry Overton, was facing the same charges. Overton’s attorney and the district attorney were able to reach a plea deal.
Larry Overton’s charge of capital murder was reduced to criminally negligent homicide. That means he will not spend any time in prison.””
***
“This week the 35-year-old was back in a Texas courthouse to try and get her capital murder conviction overturned and convince a judge she did not intentionally poison the four-year-old but that he did it to himself. 
***
Court Reverses Hannah’s Conviction!
***
“Original prosecutor Sandra Eastwood was terminated for reasons unrelated to the original case years after Overton was convicted, and Overton has accused her of unprofessional conduct several times since.”
“In a news release however, Skura said that he would not be trying the case again due to ‘a myriad of factors which came about after a careful review of the previous trial, re-interviewing some of the key witnesses, consulting with some of the medical experts involved in the case, reviewing evidence adduced at recent hearings and staffing the case with the current prosecutors assigned to the case.’”
***
Nathaniel Craver case
See his case here.
“7-year-old Nathanial Craver died in August 2009. An autopsy showed more than 80 external injuries, many on his head. The boy was also emaciated.”
““The couple’s lawyers have argued Craver had reactive attachment disorder and many of his injuries were self inflicted. ””
***
““After Michael Craver rushed his unresponsive 7-year-old son to Holy Spirit Hospital, the first doctor to examine him noticed an unstitched, healing wound on the back of the boy’s head.
Beside the boy’s frighteningly swollen face, mottled bluish skin, fixed pupils, raspy respiration and deep coma, the doctor wondered about the untreated head wound.”
“Dr. Mark Iantosca, a Hershey Medical Center neurosurgeon who removed part of Nathaniel’s skull to relieve the swelling, said he found older blood under the boy’s scalp and fresh blood pushing on his brain.”
““The jury also learned Nathaniel’s injuries included:
- A fresh hematoma, massive bleeding between the skull and the brain;
- Older evidence of bleeding between the scalp and the skull;
- A boxer’s cauliflower ear on the left side of his head;
- A ruptured right eardrum;
- Evidence of binding;
- Pattern bruising to the back and buttocks;
- Emaciation and less than one millimeter of subcutaneous fat;
- And “head-to-toe” marks, bruising, contusions and abrasions, according to at least two medical witnesses.””
***
““His head, virtually his entire head, was swollen up like a balloon,” he said. “And I don’t mean just a little bit of swelling. The entire skull and head looked like a watermelon. Like an alien.”””
“Michael and Nanette Craver, 55, have maintained the boy struck his head on a wood stove in their home. They told police, doctors and child abuse investigators Nathaniel seemed all right except for a mark on his head. They put an ice pack on the mark and put him to bed about 45 minutes later. In they morning, they said, they could not rouse him.”
““The child otherwise was covered with small bruises and abrasions on his chest and back. In a picture of the dead child laying on his back, every rib could easily be counted.
Ross said Nathaniel’s swollen brain at autopsy “was a mess.””
***
““Michael Craver’s parents, Robert and Sandra Craver of Berwick…said they last visited with Nathaniel at his home in May, about three months before his death.”
“”I was very concerned about his condition,” Robert Craver testified. “His eyes were swollen shut. His head seemed a little larger than normal.””
***
“The trial ended on Friday and the jury only took 2 hours to convict the Cravers on involuntary manslaughter,two counts of endangering the welfare of a child and three counts of criminal conspiracy. ”
***
“ Sentence: Time served.”
Isaac Dykstra case
See the case here.
“Emergency crews on August 13, 2005, found 21-month-old Isaac unconscious on the living room floor with apparent head injuries. He was taken to University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics and pronounced brain-dead the next day.”
***
““Brian Dykstra, now of South Carolina, is charged with second-degree murder in the Aug. 13, 2005 death of the boy named Isaac, who was found unconscious and having trouble breathing. The child was taken to a hospital and died the next day.
Dykstra wasn’t charged until August 2008, and he has pleaded not guilty.”
***
“Dykstra told the detective that Isaac had fallen down two steps three days earlier and hit his head. He said the child suffered a bruise on his cheek and on his ear and a bump on his head that turned “mushy” over the next few days.”
“Dykstra said he was in the kitchen washing dishes a few hours later when he heard Isaac cry, according to the interview. Dykstra said he found his son lying on the ground, crying “like he bumped his head again.”
Dykstra said Isaac appeared to be struggling to breathe, and at one point he “did a little bit of CPR,” according to the interview. Because the child was laboring to breathe, Dykstra said he called 911 but hung up.
“He seemed to be coming out of it,” Dykstra said.
When a 911 operator called back, Dykstra said someone should probably come help.
“I thought, ‘You know what, I don’t trust myself,’” he said in the interview. “I want someone here.”
Isaac was pronounced brain dead on Aug. 14 after suffering a hematoma, hemorrhaging, retinal bleeding and brain swelling. Investigators immediately considered the death suspicious, but they didn’t arrest Dykstra until three years later in August 2008.”
***
“Paramedics arrived at the couple’s Iowa City home and found the child unconscious, with significant bruising all over his body and severe heard injuries, including a hematoma, hemorrhaging and retinal bleeding.
Doctors testified that such serious injuries had to have occurred that day and only could have been caused by blunt force trauma from something like shaking and slamming.”
***
““Brian Dykstra’s family and friends shrieked, gasped, cried, and anxiously laughed Thursday after the 35-year-old was found not guilty of murdering his 20-month-old adopted son.”
“Spies said he felt the testimonies of Dykstra’s friends and neighbors made the difference in the case, calling it a “nightmare compounded” that “prolonged the agony of [the child’s] death.”
[The testimony of people who WERE NOT THERE determined the outcome of this case!]”
Gloria Huang case
See the case here.
” Ghanaian adoptee Gloria Huang, 8, died in January 2013 of cachexia (wasting syndrome) and dehydration according to the Qatar’s supreme council of health. ”
“…the Huangs kept to themselves, did not often let their children out into their neighborhood, were stingy with their children, and that Gloria vanished from sight about eight days before she died.”
“The police also suspected wrongdoing because Matthew and Grace explained to them that Gloria had not eaten for about four days prior to her collapse. That Gloria did not eat over those four days is likely accurate. But that was not because her parents did not provide her food. Gloria was in the midst of one of her cycles where she would refuse to eat. The Huangs had experience with this situation and fully expected Gloria would resume eating soon, as she always had before. “
***
““Matthew and Grace Huang, an American couple accused in the death of their daughter by depriving her of sustenance for four days, were each sentenced on Thursday to three years in prison followed by deportation, in a case that has drawn close attention here and in the United States.”
***
““We did not take Gloria to the hospital when she was refusing to eat because we believed she would come out of these hunger strikes as she had before,” he said. “She was lively and active and there was no reason to suspect any concern for her health.””
***
“After spending nearly a year in prison, the couple was released last November. They are prohibited from leaving Qatar during their appeal.”
***
““An American Couple Convicted and later cleared of wrongdoing in the death of their adopted African-born daughter in Qatar returned to Los Angeles on Thursday afternoon, a family spokesman said on Twitter.
Matthew and Grace Huang left the tiny Gulf Arab state on Wednesday after a ban on their travel issued by that government was lifted, ending a nearly two-year ordeal.
“Mission accomplished. Matt and Grace are in Los Angeles. They have not stopped smiling,”spokesman Eric Volz said in a tweet posted about 3 p.m. PST.“
.
Max Shatto case
See the case here.
“3-year-old Russian adoptee Max Alan Shatto (Russian name Maksim Kuzmin) died on January 21, 2013…”
“Allegations of “physical abuse and neglect” according to Associated Press and giving a “heavy psychotropic substance which is normally used to treat severe cases of schizophrenia in adults” according to The Voice of Russia are being investigated…”
***
“A child diagnosed with multiple injuries, including abdominal trauma, multiple bruises on his head and feet.”
***
“Texas authorities today confirmed that a three-year-old boy adopted from Russia was covered in bruises and unresponsive when he was brought into hospital last month, where he was later pronounced dead.”
***
“Laura Shatto, the boy’s adoptive mother, told deputies that she was inside when Max Shatto became unresponsive, Donaldson said.
“We know the child was outside playing with the other child. They were both out there,” Donaldson said. “The mother went out there – she wasn’t out there – and when she came out there he was on the ground.”
Donaldson said that was just before the ambulance was called, but wouldn’t elaborate on what injuries the boy had and how he could have gotten them.
***
“The investigation into the boy’s death continues, Bland said. Once investigators complete their work, Bland will meet with them and decide whether to pursue charges such as negligent supervision or injury to a child by omission.”
***
“US police have confirmed the boy’s death doesn’t look natural. The Russian ombudsman quoted a pre-trial autopsy report that revealed numerous bruises to Maxim’s head and legs, as well as internal injuries that could have been caused by a forceful blow to the abdomen.”
***
““a laceration to the small bowel mesentery artery due to blunt trauma in the abdomen” that is “consistent with self injury”””
***
Even Jane Aronson doubts the Texas authorities! “But Jane Aronson, a pediatrician and adoption medicine specialist who is also the founder and CEO of the nonprofit Worldwide Orphans Foundation, said she too was skeptical of the conclusions from Texas authorities. ”
***
“Donaldson said he does not believe the injury was self-inflicted.
“I don’t think it could be. Unless he jumped off something and did it on purpose,” Donaldson said. “When they say accident, I’m looking that he fell on some of that equipment outside or maybe in the house.””
***
“Additionally, it was revealed that Laura was not inside the house for “a few minutes” but 10 MINUTES. The investigators also feel that it wouldn’t take much to cause this kind of death! Excuse me?
The Grand Jury blames Max’s “condition.” I will say this again: It is even MORE NEGLECTFUL to leave a 3-year-old child and 2-year-old sibling alone for that length of time when the child has an alleged condition of self-harming than it is to leave two healthy toddlers outside. And yes I am judging her as a terrible, rotten, selfish mother.”
***
““The findings of the autopsy held up,” Bland said in the Monday news conference in his office. “In this case, the grand jury determined there was insignificant evidence to charge them (the Shattos) with a crime.””
I’d like to add:
The awful self-proclaimed ‘trauma mamas’ who complain about various churches failing to cater to their insane, borderline-abusive-to-actually-abusive ‘therapeutic parenting’ whims when it comes to attending services with their adopted/foster kids:
http://homeasoftplacetofall.blogspot.com/2015/04/dear-church-do-you-want-to-know-why.html
Awful Reece’s Rainbow repeat adopters like Cilla Morse, who not only begs for $$ to allow her to adopt yet another SN kid she can’t afford, but her pleas that other people donate to her friend Jamie Allison’s adoption. RR-ite Jamie is attempting to adopt her 4th and 5th kids inside just 2 years (DESPITE LACKING THE RESOURCES TO DO SO), recovering from surgery and unable to afford the renovations necessary to sell her current house.
Because what a broke, sick lady REALLY needs is a 4th and 5th unrelated high needs special needs child!
http://www.2byland-2bysea.blogspot.com/2015/04/for-my-friend.html
Why oh why does USCIS approve these unprepared idiots to adopt?!
Carlee,
To tell the truth, if Lindsay of ‘Soft Place’ has learned NOT to tut-tut people for sending kids to public school or police the “modesty” of other women and girls, I count that as welcome personal growth. Honestly, if you knew how controlling some of these Quiverfull/Christian Patriarchy Movement types are, you’d applaud any woman who tells them to put their ‘Above Rubies’ guilt-tripping where the sun don’t shine.
Mind you, I’d like it even better if she’d come to the epiphany that adopting large numbers of traumatized/brain-injured kids in a short time period doesn’t help them, the APs, or any existing kids in the family. I feel confident that her adoptees wouldn’t exhibit so much distressing behavior if they didn’t have to compete so hard for parental attention due to the sheer number of kids in the family.
Still, her readers now know that “deliberately urinating on their amommy’s new dress” is one of the problematic behaviors that international adoptees can display. Hopefully, that will be enough to cut through some of the pink fluff clouds would-be Rescue Adopters wrap around themselves.
Lindsay’s “needs” to attend church involve other people chauffeuring her kids to/from church — even though she’s got a car, room in her car and will be driving herself and the rest of her family to church.
It isn’t reasonavle to expect, nay, demand, others chauffeur your kids places, without reciprocity (like carpooling) indefinitely.
The peed on dress:
– even if you have lots of SN kids requiring your attention, wearing peed on clothes is just plain gross and unhygienic.
– it is NOT unreasonable to expect grownups to NOT wear peed on clothes. Keeping a change of clothes in the car? Is a good idea if the peeing thing is an ongoing issue.
– Lindsay doesn’t mention how old the kid(s) who peed on her dress were at the time of the Peed On Easter Dress nor when it took place. She had 9 kids (before disrupting 2 Hautian adoptees), 4-5 of which were toddlers at the time of the adoption. Little kids often have pee accidents, that really are accidental. She’s got so many kids that if each little kid had, say, 1-2 legit pee accidents per month (mine sure did during/after the potty training process!), she’d be getting peed on 1-2x per week!
Carlee,
Ironically, I just posted something on APs who pursued unwise adoptions because “God will help us” then get petulant at not receiving the assistance they expect from human sources.
Still, I applaud every step toward wisdom people make. Realizing that the church who pushed them into following the “Adoption Gospel” is short on actual tangible support and long on judgement IS a big step.
Once again, Carlee is twisting facts and telling half truths to make the story more dramatic. Jamie isn’t sick or recovering from surgery. Her daughter had surgery.
That actually makes Jamie Allison’s decision to adopt TWO MORE UNRELATED KIDS she can’t financially afford WORSE. She’s recovering from surgery, needs $10k AND wants to adopt a 4th and 5th SN kid within 2 years?
Social worker who approved HS needs her/his license revoked!
She’s not recovering from surgery. Her daughter is. And the two new boys are biological brothers. Get your facts straight.
Melissa Schmitt of Reece’s Rainbow explains why adopting 2 unrelated kids at once is a bad idea:
http://onemorelightofmine.blogspot.com/2015/04/telling-truth-in-face-of-adoption.html
It also didn’t STOP her from adopting 2 at once. LAWS are needed to save morons like Melissa from THEMSELVES and their seriously BAD JUDGEMENT!
Carlee,
Re: “…LAWS are needed to save morons like Melissa from THEMSELVES and their seriously BAD JUDGEMENT!..”
Agree 100%!
At the same time, she’d already completed her two-at-once adoption long before she wrote this post TODAY. Unless she has a time machine, she can’t go back and retroactively decide to only adopt one child on Dec 2 2013.
If you want to criticize her for still maintaining that sometimes God ordains two-or-more-unrelated-at-once adoptions, that’s a fair cop.
I’m just thinking that we should provide some support for the defectors from the Rescue Adoption ideology. It’s hard enough for them to speak up without worrying about being sandblasted from BOTH sides simultaneously. Just sayin’.
Besides, people “inside the tent” aren’t going to listen to what secular women like you and I say: We’re servants of Satan in their ideology. They MAY listen if “one of their own” points out that the Emperor has no clothes.
Adopters who fundraise to bring their KIDS’ on their adoption trip to China. As if taking an additional kid along is some sort of necessity.
hisgranddesign.blogspot.com/2015/04/emmas-chance.html
I don’t disagree with the fact that people who can’t afford to adopt shouldn’t be adopting. And the whole crazy evangelical Christian adoption movement makes me physically ill.
However, I understand the desire to bring an existing child to China. The child they adopt in China is going to be the existing child’s sibling. It shows some understanding of family dynamics to bring the existing child along.
But if you can’t afford it, it’s not the right time to expand your family.
I was briefly a foster parent (only 3 months). I agree that there are many problems with the system and many inadequate parents. However, I think there is also a problem with looking at people who did something heinous and then looking back and finding “problems” with things they did that are, in fact, currently considered best-practice for dealing with children of trauma.
Take the example of binge-eating Andrew. Disordered binge eating is a common problem with kids who’ve been subjected to serious food restrictions, either by abusive parents or by abusive foster parents.
Current best-practice on treatment *is* to allow these kids to eat as much as they want. It’s how they learn, experientially, that there will always be enough.
Will these kids make a mistake and eat so much that they make themselves sick? Yup. And that’s the natural consequence that teaches them how to eat appropriately.
Restricting food with these kids, even if you give them what seems like a lot of food before cutting them off, reinforces the idea of food scarcity and fear.
This sort of free-feeding practice is called the Trust Model. In it, the parents’ job is to decide when/how often to eat and puts food on the table. The child decides which foods, and how much of each food, to eat. There is good research backing up the Trust Model. What killed Andrew was straight-up child abuse and murder.
Creepily possessive Reece’s Rainbow-ite Katrina Morriss is pleased as punch about messing with the mind of a Russian girl she’s got no legal claim to – whom she met but didn’t adopt before Russia banned Americans adopting, little Natasha/Lera.
Little Natasha/Lera who calls Katrina mommy!
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=354581794730383&id=301412936713936
Because breaking the heart of a kid by telling her you’re her mommy before it’s a legal fact isn’t bad enough?
Bevause sending presents to said child THREE YEARS LATER and posting pics online isn’t bad enough??
Because KNOWING the kid has an intellectual disability (and thus no ability to understand that “mommy” didn’t return due to a law, as opposed her deciding she didn’t avtually want to adopt you isn’t bad enough? Even a non-intellectually disabled 6 yo wouldn’t be able to grasp that!
It’s gross! It’s sick! Katrina’s so awful!!
Sadly, it’s classic PAP/AP tactics: Cite the emotional trauma which YOU caused as reason why the legal system should reverse their decision in your favor.
Remember the Jessica DeBoer debacle?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Jessica_case
Ukraine’s adoption laws require BLIND REFERRALS ONLY!
Reece’s Rainbow-ite Lisa Tucket has illegally pre-selected yet another Ukrainian kid to adopt.
Why won’t USCIS or USCIS stop her?!?
https://m.facebook.com/groups/1590424287877258/
She’s also using 100% other people’s money to acquire her!!!
Fundie Reece’s Rainbow adopter Mandy Rhodes thinks Josh Duggar’s sexually assaulting FIVE little girls is “no biggie” and that it’s terrible folks are saying “prayer alone” is not an appropriate way to handle it.
Mandy is amom to THREE non-verbal, SN kids. Three.
Idiot social workers let her adopt.
“I’m trying to decide how to say what I want to say, kindly. The truth is I have enough problems, sins and struggles of my own to be worried about the Duggars. I want to say this, though. Some adoptive parents are parenting children from very hard places, they may have been victims of sexual abuse, maybe even very similar (often far worse) situations to the Duggars. Older children sleeping unsupervised with younger children, exploration, molestation, exposure to child pornography. When you jump on the “once a molester always a molester” or the “Prayer can’t heal that” bandwagon, you are devastating the hearts of parents, who are trying to help their children overcome horrific backgrounds. I just want to speak encouragement to those in the trenches, today. Our God does heal and he restores and he is faithful. He alone is writing the story of our children’s lives and NO one else gets to put their “faithless” words onto our kids. That is all. This is not meant to be a post regarding the Duggars, but a post about being careful with your own words, no matter what your convictions are…”
Mandy’s also Amoms-to-non-verbal kids scarily chimed in AGREEING with her. Brushing off what Josh Duggar did as “normal” kid sexual experimentation.
Um, no. And I fear for their vulnerable kids!
Katie Whitlow still sees Michelle Duggar as a role model:
“To me, this is another demostration of life and the challenges so many families face. it’s hard to watch a mom who never raises her voice and children that seem so well behaved and compare it to my hectic life with one child. While I hate that this happened, I see it as an example of a family facing a horrendous circumstance and leaning on their faith for guidance…which is exactly the example I would love to see more of on TV and less of the trash. Perosnally, I have tried to be more like Michelle Duggar with my child and less like Roseanne. Prayers for them all.”
And Stacy Michelle Haven’s howler:
“‘ve been thinking about this all day. It seems as though no one has been around children or teenage boys that have behaved sexually inappropriately. I’m shocked that Josh Duggar is being called a pedophile for what he did as a child. We don’t know all that happened and I hope that since his sisters have been named “victims” that details aren’t ever revealed for their sake. The statistics of sexual abuse in teens is alarming and many times it’s another teen doing it. I’m not saying this as an excuse “everybody’s doing it” kind of thing but as a we all have skeletons in our closets, mistakes we have made, and God can redeem it all.”
Actually, yes, a 14 yo who preys on prepubescent kids, Josh Duggar-style is a pedophile AND it is terrifying people can’t see that!!
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152729038292522&id=577497521
Reece’s
Unbelievable,that they try to defend him!
Reece’s Rainbow’s Yvonne Clanton, amommy to 3 vulnerable, non-verbal kids also defends the Duggars, thinks that a 14 year old who SERIALLY SEXUALLY ASSAULTS HIS SLEEPING SIBLINGS isn’t a pedophile!
That what Josh Duggar did is no biggie!
http://myreallifebyyvonne.blogspot.com/2015/05/duggar-scandal.html
#dryheaving
Here’s an article about the issue:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3088407/Josh-Duggar-subject-molestation-claims-2005-turned-father-Jim-Bob.html
I agree that demonizing underage offenders is inappropriate, but so is minimizing the gravity of the assault on the victims. The article doesn’t indicate that ANY of the kids received any qualified psychiatric treatment in the wake of this tragedy. Just the pro forma report to an Arkansas State Police officer who never followed up on the case, and was later convicted on child pornography charges himself. One wonders if Jim Bob wanted the complaint on record for CYA, but selected an officer he knew wouldn’t pursue any distasteful action on the matter.
If you want to prevent a teen from becoming a serial predator, you need to get them evidence-based psychological treatment afterward. Having a church elder preach at them doesn’t fit the bill.
Another day, another Reece’s Rainbow Disruption!
Dan and Tammy Dziawaga shipped Payson off to “respite” a while back and have now officially re-homed him!
Why do SWs keep approving home studies for unprepared idiots?!?
Where did you get your information?
Googling the family’s very unusual name.
I’ve a hunch that Leah Spring (whistleblower on Reece’s Rainbow’s corrupt ex-Serbian facilitator), adopter of 4 Serbian kids with Down Syndrome who is currently fighting breast cancer is the one adopting the kid formerly known as Payson Dziawaga.
Because of course it’s a good idea to adopt MORE kids when you are VERY SICK with a POTENTIALLY FATAL disease.
I tried to post this on her blog, but unfortunately Blogger and Gmail aren’t co-operating right now:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leah,
This is WHY parents shouldn’t be urged to adopt special needs kids they don’t have the time, money, space, or expertise to care for. This is WHY parents shouldn’t be promised that “love and God are all you need” to become parents to a traumatized child. This is WHY out-of-birth-order, two-or-more-unrelated-at-once adoptions shouldn’t receive approvals.
I know that you and Hope Anne are some of the good ones, but best practices guidelines exist for a reason. There would be far, far fewer disruptions “needed” if well-meaning but ill-equipped parents flunked their home study.
Since you’ve decided to take on this new child despite your health situation and everything else you have on your plate, I hope for everyone concerned’s sake that it goes well.
Oh good grief! Seriously? Unless you know something I and my doctors don’t, I don’t, and DIDN’T have cancer when our last little guy came to us. I finished treatment on July 17, 2014, and he came to us in JUNE 2015!! A full year later! I wasn’t, and am not “very sick”. Not even a little bit sick. Please, get your facts straight.
Also, your hunches are far from correct. I have no idea Payson Dziawaga is. I am so far removed from any RR families I don’t have any clue what’s going on in that world. But no, the child we have added to our family is no the same child you mentioned.
For what its worth, I agree with some thins you said. There are some pretty shoddy home studies out there, and people adding kids for some crappy reasons. Like a couple may have a baby to save a marriage? Some people do that by adoption instead. Sometimes both spouses aren’t interviewed. There have been cases where a social worker hasn’t even visited the house. I personally know of one family who is adding more and more kids and has no physical space for them. There are beds in the freaking hallway! What social worker is approving that?
I don’t really care if anyone agrees with our family size or not. As far as adoption out of birth order, I’m more concerned with developmental level. As an example: We had a 9 year old, brought home another who was 6 weeks older, but developmentally an infant. There are light years between them developmentally.
Leah,
As I’ve said, I know that you’re one of the good ones. I also follow your blog intermittently, so I know how VERY full your plate is right now. I wish the best for you and your family, and pray that all goes well.