Woman Reunites with Her Family After 36 Years

Kathie had traveled from her home in Casper to the northwest corner of North Dakota to give birth and place the child for adoption. She had broken up with the girl’s father, Jerry Hill, and was living at home and helping care for her father who had stage-four cancer. At 19 years old, she didn’t have the money to raise a child. She knew she couldn’t give the baby girl the life she deserved, though she loved her so deeply.

So she came to Williston, far away from the disapproving rumor mill in Casper. On May 3, 1981, the girl was born.

For an hour, Kathie held her child and snuggled into her soft head. She told her girl that she was so loved. She whispered that one day, maybe, the little girl would understand. She told her that one day, maybe, they would meet again.

Then she said goodbye. A hospital employee came and took the girl from her arms, carried her through the door to a new life, a life where she would not know Kathie’s name.

Kathie returned to Casper, where she would spend every holiday and every May 3 thinking of that baby girl she left behind in North Dakota. Hoping that her daughter was well, that she was loved, that she had lived the childhood Kathie dreamed for her.

It would take Kathie 36 years to find out.

***

Melanie Bentley doesn’t remember when her parents told her she was adopted. It had never been a secret.

Her dad was in the Air Force and the family moved every three years. When Melanie was 15, the family finally settled in Ogden, Utah. In high school, she dabbled in a wide variety of activities. She played piano and competed in gymnastics. She grew up happy.

But a part of her was always searching.

She knew very little about where she came from. She knew she was put up for adoption in Williston, North Dakota. She guessed that her parents were from there, or nearby. She had no way to know that her biological parents were just a six-hour drive away.

When she turned 18, Melanie called the adoption service in North Dakota. But the organization told her that it would be difficult to find her records. Everything before 1985 was still in paper form and that it would be difficult to track. She felt like she hit a brick wall.

When Melanie’s mom died in 2014, her longing to find her biological parents deepened. But she never made the trip. She didn’t need anything from them. She was stable. She was happy. She just wanted to know who they were, where she came from. They were, after all, a part of her.

For Christmas, Bentley’s dad bought her and the rest of the family an Ancestry.com DNA kit. She submitted her DNA sample in January. Then she waited.

In February, she got the email: “DNA results are in.” She opened the email, hopes forcefully minimized by years of disappointment in her search.

She clicked on the link to her family tree. Then she saw a woman named Kathie listed as a potential parent match. She clicked on the photo. She started to shake.

Bentley showed the photo to her fiance, Nathan. He knew immediately. The similarities were overwhelming: the nose, the face, the eyes.

Nathan typed Kathie’s name into Facebook. He found a profile. He typed out a message as Melanie dictated. She was too overwhelmed to write it herself.

The message was straightforward: She explained that Kathie showed up as a possible parent match from her DNA test. She said she was born in Williston on May 3, 1981. She said that she had always wondered who her biological parents were.

“I don’t expect anything beyond knowing more about who I am and where I came from,” the message read. “I don’t know anything except where I was born.”

They re-read the message once, twice, over and over again. Nathan hit send. For 15 minutes, they stared at the screen. Hoping.

Finally, the dots appeared on the screen, showing that Kathie was typing. They disappeared. Then began again.

Finally, a message.

“You’re beautiful,” Kathie wrote.

Melanie burst into tears.

Finally.

***

Kathie had been watching a movie alone in her house when she received a friend request on Facebook. She glanced at it. It was from a woman in Salt Lake City. They didn’t have any mutual friends. Kathie disregarded the notification for a moment and returned to her movie.

But then, Kathie thought: What if this was her?

She accepted the request. She looked at the pictures of Melanie, suddenly unable to look away. There she was. There she was, smiling. Healthy. Seemingly happy.

She read Melanie’s message. She hesitated as she typed a response. What do you say to a daughter you’ve never met? How can you convey all that you feel?

Kathie had also been searching. For 36 years, she had longed to know what happened to that little girl she left in Williston. She also called the adoption service, but hit the same barriers.

She and Jerry reconnected at a Casper barbecue in 1998. They talked about their daughter, conjured places she might be now, imagined the adult she had become.

Jerry had always longed to know his daughter he never held. He reserved a spot for her on his tattooed bicep. The names of his four daughters are stained into his skin beneath a large, full-color heart. Among the names is a blank space, intended for Melanie — if he ever learned her name.

Unknown to him, one of his daughters had been helping Kathie in her search all this time.

When Kathie’s son, Dylan, found the Ancestry.com DNA project and suggested Kathie submit a sample, which she did. Jerry’s daughter, Rebecca, sent one in along with two of Kathie’s children. She wanted to surprise her dad if she ever found her sister.

After Melanie contacted Kathie on Facebook, Rebecca got to do just that.

She called her dad at 11 that night. Jerry was already in bed. Rebecca told him that she had been searching for his other daughter, for a name that would fill the blank space on his arm. She told him that she had found her. That her name was Melanie.

Jerry lay speechless.

“And she’s coming to Casper,” Rebecca added.

Jerry broke down in sobs. He simply did not know what to do.

He always hoped that he would meet his daughter. He was so glad that it happened now, while he was still young and able to enjoy the moment.

He didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

He was ready to meet her.

***

On March 16, Melanie stood at the front door of a Casper home and raised her fist to knock. A shadow appeared on the other side of the glass.

As soon as she saw the shadow, Melanie started crying. She knew who it was.

The door opened and, for the first time, the two women stood face-to-face. Kathie recognized in Melanie the little girl she left in Williston.

Melanie rushed into Kathie’s arms. They cried and giggled, holding each other.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Kathie said, comforting her daughter.

The two women had talked on the phone nearly every day since connecting on Facebook. In the first moments of their first phone call, Kathie explained to Melanie why she had placed her for adoption. She wanted Melanie to know that she had been loved all this time, though from far away.

But Melanie had always known that. They soon moved on to the 36 years of history they had to share. Kathie learned about Melanie’s childhood, learned that everything she had hoped for her came true. Melanie told her about the parents who raised her in a loving home.

They talked about their similarities: They both loved to cook. They loved to dance. They both believed that good things come to people who are persistent in pursuit of their dreams. Conversation flowed effortlessly — it was as if the two had known each other their entire lives.

They planned a visit.

Melanie and her daughter, along with Nathan and his daughter and his stepson, came to Casper to meet Kathie and Jerry and their other children. Melanie’s list of siblings grew from the single sister she grew up with to five more sisters and a brother. The newly-reunited family sat in Kathie’s living room and caught up. It felt natural. Melanie fit right in.

“It’s like she’s always been here,” Jerry said. “It’s like she just went on vacation for 36 years.”

They looked at old photos. While Melanie and Kathie look so similar now, photos of Jerry and his daughter when they were both young children show that they are undeniably related.

Jerry and Kathie made plans to visit Melanie in Salt Lake City on May 3 for her 37th birthday. Finally, they would be able to be with her to celebrate.

On Saturday, Kathie and Jerry gathered their extended family and close friends on the second floor of the Wonder Bar to meet Melanie.

Melanie sat downstairs hidden from view while the crowd gathered the floor above her. Minutes before the planned time, she checked her phone.

“It’s almost time,” she told Nathan.

Melanie had begun her search for her biological parents simply wanting to know who they were. She didn’t expect to be so welcomed. To gain another entire family who loved her so completely.

“Last month, I was just living my life,” she said. “Now, it will never be the same. This is the best possible family it could’ve been. And I fit right in.”

Her phone pinged with a text message telling her it was time.

Melanie walked up the stairs to the upper floor of the Wonder Bar, where Kathie and Jerry waited. The three walked over to the crowd gathered in a corner of the bar. They paused. The assortment of new-found uncles and aunts and grandparents stared back. A few started to clap. Tears filled the eyes of others, before anything had even been said.

Then — with the quiet, bursting pride only a parent can have for their child — Kathie introduced Melanie to her family, to those people Melanie had longed for all those years, to those missing pieces.

“Friends and family,” Kathie said, “I would like you to meet our daughter.””