Blaming Adoptive Parents for the Ill’s of Adoption
Amid a busy schedule I still try to keep abreast of what the current happenings are in Adoptionland and something struck me the other day.
It’s something I think needs to be turned around and quickly.
That something is blaming prospective (PAPs) and adoptive parents (APs) for all of the problems, lack of reform, and continuing corruption in the international adoption industry.
This is worrisome. Not because PAPs/APs aren’t a part of the problem, but because when we transfer blame solely to this subset we are not focused on where it should be.
Yes, we all know there are far too many clueless, entitled, promote-adoption-at-any-cost, child collectors and just plain idiots who adopt and promote adoption. Just take quick perusal of adoption blogs and you’ll see all of this and more. We know it is PAPs’ money and desire that provides the fuel–but if we are honest, most of the time THEY don’t know or realize that. One of the goals at REFORM Talk is to help educate (or connect the dots) for PAPs in the decision-making process as well as provide information to APs. Of course, these PAPs/APs still need to believe how much corruption is fueling international adoption, and I have very different feelings about those AP’s who know exactly what is going on and choose to promote unethical agencies and programs anyway…but that is a different blog post!
We need to ask ourselves, Who is running the show? Who holds the power? Who is doing the trafficking? Who is approving families who shouldn’t adopt a cat much less a child? Who launders the paperwork? Who lies to the birth/first families? Who pays off officials and orphanage directors?
The vast majority of the time this is not the PAPs. They may at times be complicit in this and deny their involvement, but it is the adoption service provider’s at the helm and they should be held accountable and to higher standards.In the past, we saw a lot of blame on birth/first parents. They were blamed for not being able to care for their kids, for finding themselves in difficult situations, for their children to be in a position needing another home. It still happens although to a lesser degree. That was and is wrong.
Readers, let’s keep our eyes on where the problem truly is: unethical, sloppy and irresponsible agency practices.
REFORM Puzzle Piece
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