FacePalm Friday

Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.

This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).

We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.

Your Host’s Selections:

(1) Ignoring the Lying and Paying $80,000 for a white baby in your I love adoption column

All she cares about is the wait

http://www.parents.com/blogs/adoption-diaries/2012/07/30/must-read/why-does-adoption-take-so-long/

“Domestically, I spoke to a single dad of two adopted American children and although he won’t go on the record (he is a gay dad who had to lie about his partner throughout the Home Study and adoption paperwork) this gay did swears that the second adoption only took a few months because everyone knew he was ready to plunk down $80,000 for a perfect little blond, Caucasian newborn.

(Off the record, this dad told me that his first adoption of a transracial child — also a private adoption via birth mother and attorneys — took much longer than adoption number two. He confirms that thick bank accounts can speed your process along.)”

(2) Double-Facepalm for two adoption.com columns (I know that they are an easy target but seriously, where do they get such gullible bloggers from?)

Ethiopia Back on Track Really? On track for what?Record Profits?

“There are many children available and the screening process is monitored. Ethiopia, as a country, is wrought with poverty and disease. The need for adoption is great. The children that are  adopted from Ethiopia are said to adapt well when adopted and have pleasant personalities.” Really? Check out our disruption statistics

“At this point, Ethiopia has stated that they are able to process  new cases within 2 days. That is an amazing turn around. One issue that was addressed in the notice released from the US Embassy in Addis Ababa is that many of the relinquishment cases were being  processed with birth parents believing that their child would be  returning home after 18 years of age. The Embassy set up interview times at the embassy where these parents are taken to a private room to discuss the fact that adoption severs all family ties.  This has been difficult for the biological parents emotionally.  The embassy is trying to deal with this issue and remain focused  on ensuring that their adoption program moves forward.” Birthparents taken to a private room to discuss severing of ties? I hope she doesn’t mean 2 living birthparents! Why is the embassy doing the bidding of agencies AFTER the adoption is finalized?Just gambling with kids’ lives.

My favorite “United States government offers a list  of approved, reputable agencies on their adoption website.” No, they list approved agencies NOT reputable ones. One has NOTHING to do with the other.

Waiting for the Re-opening (Vietnam)

“Vietnam (when it re-opens) has many beautiful children who are  looking for their forever families. The children are healthy but I       believe Vietnam requires its prospective adoptive families to be  open to some special needs. Most of these needs are correctable.” What orifice was this description pulled out of?

 

 And  

“Vietnam has been a valid adoption partner with the United States  for many years.” Valid adoption partner? Are you serious?

(3) Today show on disruptions

The title looked promising- It takes more than love: What happens when adoption fails And that is where the hope ended for this piece.

If one did not know anything about disruptions, one would walk away from this piece thinking that adoption agencies do EVERYTHING for the adoptive parent and adoptee. This is media spin and is dangerous as this piece is on a major network show.

Here are just some of the facepalms in this piece:

• Showing a picture of Joyce Maynard with 2 happy children (that now are disrupted). Did you get permission from the current parents to use this picture? I doubt it.
• Random AP is interviewed with a supposedly difficult child who didn’t disrupt. Whatever.Is that some attempt at “balance”?
• Quoting statistic that does not apply to International Adoption when her disruption stories in the piece are  International Adoption disruptions “Although statistics on disruption vary, a 2010 study of U.S. adoption practices conducted by the University of Minnesota and Hennepin County, Minn., found that between 6 percent and 11 percent of all  adoptions are disrupted before they are finalized. For children older than 3, disruption rates range between 10 percent to 16 percent; for teens, it may be as high as 24 percent, or one in four adoptions.” There is NO known statistic of IA disruptions. We are attempting to track them. See here.
• The ultimate uninformed LIE “”International adoptions follow the same rules, except the adoption agency usually notifies the country that the adoption has failed.” Heard of Russia much? Why do you think they have stories about the lack of cooperation of the US almost weekly now?

Placing agencies rarely do ANYTHING to assist parents. Homestudy agencies sometimes assist. Using Torry Hansen as an example without asking what WACAP did specifically to assist is lazy. WACAP gets to make money TWICE off of Justin Hansen/Artyom -once through fees and once through SUING. Other agencies make money for a second, third or fourth placement of kids.