Russian Adoptee Disrupted to US Foster Care System ‘Fights for American Dream’

This is a story about Yelena Mordvina, now 21, who was adopted at age 9 from a older-child adoption program run by KidSave International.

“The nonprofit agency targets orphans older than 6 who often are overlooked for adoption. Elena [who now has added the ‘Y’ back to her name] was one of 12 children in her Russian family. A 13th child died. The Mills family knew only part of the story at first. Elena’s natural mother was an alcoholic. Her father was described as a “hobo,” or street person. The youngest child died when the mother somehow stepped on or rolled over the infant. Elena’s mother was imprisoned.

Some of Elena’s brothers and sisters were placed in orphanages, some into the custody of relatives. “My father was in my life up until I was about 4 or 5. He actually ended up getting custody of me one time. I remember every bit of it,” says Elena.

It was part of the baggage she brought with her to her new home. Her new brothers were part of modern suburbia. They had two dogs, two cats, Cordova schools, honor rolls, church, Disney movies, swimming lessons, Nintendo, soccer, roller-skating parties. Elena often kept to herself, in her room with “Lion King” videos that helped her learn English phrases. She also kept to herself memories of her father in Russia.

She remembers him taking her onto the roof of their apartment complex after her mother’s imprisonment. There, he made her perform oral sex, she says. When she had difficulty adapting to her new surroundings in the U.S., her new dad, Trip Mills, stepped in. “He came upstairs to talk to me. I said, ‘You just don’t know what I’ve been through,'” she recalls. In fact, she says, Mills told her that he and his wife were aware she had been sexually abused. They went through with the adoption anyway.”

“Elena had arrived with a group of 10 other orphans. She was labeled “the grumpy one” by the Memphis agency that arranged the adoption. “From the start, Elena was somewhat of a difficult child, very open with her emotions,” says Trip Mills. “I think we thought once we got her into the home that would change.”

“That was 11 years ago. Elena’s version is different. During her six-week trial adoption, Elena says she did not want to wear a seatbelt because she became sick when riding in a car. “Susan would stop the car, let me out, and I would sit on the curb and wait for her to come back and get me.” Later, after the adoption, things grew more intense, she says. Elena claims Susan slapped, struck and cursed her.

Susan could not be reached for comment. “It was just a very dark time in our lives, and we don’t talk about it,” says Susan’s mother, Lois Gustafson. She says the adoption system that allowed Americans to adopt children from Eastern Europe is flawed. “My advice for anybody thinking about it is don’t do it.”

“Trip Mills says his former daughter’s behavior grew more difficult as she got older. “She seemed to get involved with the wrong type of people. It always seemed like she was drifting toward the misfits.

She got to the point where she would start running away — not like overnight. We’d have to call the sheriff to help us find her.” Trip traveled in his job and was often away. “When I would come home Susan would seem at the end of her rope.”

Mills says Susan was “very strict,” but that he doesn’t think she was stricter with Elena than with his sons. He says the family tried counseling. He looked into a group-home placement for Elena. “She didn’t want to be anywhere near Susan. The only answer I had was that somehow she (Elena) needs to go.”

Her troubled journey and disruption

“At 11, Elena ran away. She says police failed her by ignoring her pleas and simply returning her to the Mills family. “For me to try so hard to get away from her, something had to be wrong. … Susan told the police officer I wanted a horse and a pool and that’s why I ran away.”

At 14, she ran away again. Neighbor Sarah Mastrianni’s daughter was a classmate of Elena’s and allowed her to live with them temporarily. Mastrianni found Elena “very independent and stubborn.”

But she also blamed Susan. “If you have a troubled child you need time and patience, and I don’t think Susan had either of those.”

Elena later stayed at the home of a church member. “I was real depressed at the time, so I took a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol.” Considered a suicide attempt, it landed her at Lakeside Behavioral Health System, and got her a hearing on her custody status. Elena says she readily agreed to go into state custody, and the Mills family signed away their parental rights. “I didn’t care where I went as long as it didn’t have anything to do with Susan,” she says.

Elena spent three months at Lakeside, then lived briefly in a series of foster homes and at Porter-Leath Children’s Center. She ran away. She stayed briefly with friends she had met at Lakeside, with a 45-year-old man and others. She moved to Jackson, Tenn., to stay with a former sister from one of the foster homes where she had stayed. She had a green card, identifying her as a permanent resident, and was able to work at a Burger King. It was in Jackson where she met a 19-year-old man who became her lover. “It wasn’t that I was in love. I was careless and dumb,” says Elena, who worked until 11 days before the birth of her son, Mario.

She lived with the baby’s father for a while, but says he did not work steadily and took little responsibility for her or their son. When the bills mounted, she left.

Community Help

“Her former soccer coach, Droke, says Elena “made some horrendously bad choices. Once she got into Lakeside, it’s kind of like the gates of hell opened up.” An accountant and former wrestler, Droke says he stuck by Elena. “She made some bad choices. A lot of kids do. The problem with her was she had nothing to fall back on. … She didn’t do anything but get adopted and have a bad adoption.”

Droke, a former neighbor and friend of the Mills family, quickly learned they had not gotten her U.S. citizenship. She lost her green card while living in Jackson and, without it, was unable to get a driver’s license. Droke set up a Facebook page called “The Elena Mordvina Trust,” inviting friends to donate to help Elena get back on her feet.

Trip Mills’ parents (Elena’s former grandparents) donated about $1,500 of the $3,000 raised to help pay expenses, and the grandmother, Barb Mills, says she and her husband helped “on a month-to-month basis for several years.

“The times when she’s been employed was really good for her self-esteem. I think the track for her is to get a job and build on that self-esteem.”

Another former friend of the Mills family, Wanda Boraten, a retired naval officer, took over some of the red tape to help Elena get a new green card. Droke offered Elena a used van if she studied to get a driver’s license. She stayed for a while in a Southaven church home, then moved in with Boraten until getting her driver’s license in March.

Elena found her own job, as a security guard, from an online ad. She began working nights at $9 an hour. Boraten paid Elena for odd jobs, including lawn work and staining a deck, at her home, to help her qualify to rent a small house where Mario could have his own room.

The pregnancy was unintended, Elena says, but Mario, now 2, is the best thing that has happened to her. “If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would be. I wouldn’t care. He makes me care. He gives me purpose.”

She now is studying to take her GED exam Monday. “What she lacks in wisdom and experience she makes up for in heart and determination,” says Boraten. “She just needs a little help here and there.”

Boraten also is planning to help Elena get her U.S. citizenship.”

Russian native in Memphis fights for American dream after ‘bad adoption’
[The Commercial Appeal 6/26/11 by Michael Lollar]