FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
(1) 
for Trafficking
Last October, we FacePalmed several things associated with newcomer Board Member Angelique Hatch of JCICS. One of those was a new fundraising program that at the time was dubbed “change for children”. See here. At that time, we highlighted that she was a Guatemala AP who previously fundraised for Semillas de Amor.They were made famous in the US Embassy Guatemala cables.
Hat tip to a reader who sends the following website on: Yes kids, this year there is a new website flush with celebs and “team ranks” of uh…notable… agencies like AGCI and ASIA and it is re-named Make Change for Children. http://www.makechangeforchildren.org/
Their marketing is “Joint Council’s Make Change for Children campaign brings attention to the plight of the world’s most vulnerable children, those without loving families. The program combines Halloween-related events, online social marketing, email marketing, online fundraising and door-to-door change collection to both raise funds and increase awareness of this issue.
Make Change for Children is a program of the Joint Council on International Children’s Services. At Joint Council, we believe that children need more than simply to survive… more than food… more than clean water… more than education… they need the protection and love that only a family can provide.”
This page has the chart of where the money goes: link .Except for the 31% that supposedly goes for nutrition which seems like a tangible item, the rest of the 69% goes to things like “International Relations” and “Global Awareness” and “Education” Uh huh. If you look at the membership of JCICS, one can conservatively conclude that at least 80% of the members are agencies and service providers that fully charge clients for their services. Doctors are members. Are they getting part of the cut of this? They don’t subsidize their services to APs. Why would they need international relations and global awareness if they are working with governments legitimately? Each agency has their own humanitarian fundraisers too.
Make sure you read the treasure trove of information that Pound Pup Legacy has on JCICS…from their issue with credibility here to their numerous documents like their Board meeting minutes here.
Scary 
that people choose to give these people money!
(2)Twist of facts in fundraising for SN Korea Adoption Media story
http://www.kptm.com/story/19759473/omaha-family-needs-help-adopting-son [KPTM 10/7/12]
They have spun their inability to pay the fees that they agreed on in their contract to officials “won’t let him leave the country”? Seriously? All of a sudden at the end of the process they publicly complain that ” They’re asking for thousands of dollars in fees to finish the adoption process. “The adoption fees are about what I make in a year,” Jeff says.””
You see, they “want” and “want” and “want” a child.. Just give them a hand up 
and just hand them the $10,000! C’mon! They WANT!
(3)Wiki How to Open an Adoption Agency
http://www.wikihow.com/Open-an-Adoption-Agency
At least they are honest: “In order to facilitate adoptions, you need to find children who need to be adopted. ”
Then you can ask for help from doctors and government-run agencies to help you FIND the kids in doctor’s offices, schools, you name it!
- “State Medical Association. Ask if they have an approved list of medical practioners, such as obstetricians and general family practioners. When you are ready to open your agency, you can contact your list of doctors and tell them you would like their help in locating children who are in need of adoption.
- State Department of Education. Find out if you can get a directory of the schools in your state. You can then contact the counseling department in these institutions to see if they are working with children who need an adoptive family.
- State School Nurse’s Association. School nurses are often the first officials who are aware that a teen is pregnant and seeking an adoption agency.
- State Department of Health. Ask for a comprehensive list of all licensed family planning clinics and maternity homes.”
I love this one too “Consider buying an established agency. There’s no doubt that starting your own business is tough, so after reviewing all the steps above, you may want to think about taking an easier route. Buying an established business will save you a lot of time and you will already have an established customer base.”
I especially FacePalmed when I read who recently gave edits “Recent edits by: Illneedasaviour” 
Just say 
to this nonsense!
(4)Media article on church raffle for Ethiopia adoption
http://www.alicetx.com/news/article_4216e752-118c-11e2-87cf-0019bb2963f4.html
[AliceEcho News 10/8/12 by Julie Neal]
Because fundraising for Ethiopia adoptions is completely ok with Ethiopia…
(5)For Profit MLJ now facilitating adoptions from Congo to Canada
http://www.mljadoptions.com/Media.aspx?articleid=613
They will cook up any kind of adoption they can! 
(6)Look What Love Can Do
http://childrenofallnations.com/waiting-child/look-what-love-can-do/
Because you know that “Love is All You Need” to shape up that lil’ orphan! 
So many Facepalms, so little time:
1) This PAP is adopting 3 (!) unrelated (!!) children out of birth order (!!!). The PAP has discussed it with her social worker and is not at all worried that this could be dangerous, since her social worker told her abuse won’t be a problem:
“Our social worker has helped bring home over 700 children from orphanages in Eastern Europe during her career and she assured us at our first meeting with her that, while anything is possible, the likelihood of an older adopted child (from this region at least) acting out sexually or physically on a younger child is extremely rare. “
http://www.lisagarcia.net/adoptionblog?feature=1267636&postid=2755206
Sadly, it’s NOT rare. This social worker is encouraging this (and apparently LOTS of other) PAPs not to take safety precautions. This is SO VERY IRRESPONSIBLE and SO VERY DANGEROUS!!
As far as this PAP’s concerned, recommendations to NOT adopt out of birth order are wrong since they are not written from a deity’s perspective. Really:
“The birth-order books have validity. I don’t dispute that what they say is correct. But they aren’t written from Jesus’ perspective. They are pure psychology”.
Bring on the national standards for social workers… this is crazy, irresponsible, dangerous, high risk and a recipe for disaster. SOMEBODY needs to save folks like this PAP, who truly appear to believe that the rules don’t apply to them because, well, a supernatural being’s got their back, from THEMSELVES.
http://www.lisagarcia.net/adoptionblog?feature=1267636&postid=2713515
Unsurprisingly, this PAP is also fundraising all their adoption costs to boot.and have rationalized that paying for the adoption themselves would be WRONG, since it wouldn’t encourage other (utterly irresponsible, unprepared) families to step out in faith and depend 100% on a supernatural being in order to adopt:
“I’d quite prefer for Norman and I to get second jobs and take out loans to complete these adoptions. I’ll reiterate: I would MUCH, MUCH, MUCH prefer to work more hours and borrow the money than to ask a single soul to partner with us in raising the money we need to adopt these two boys. But if we do that…..if we do it all on our own……then what are we doing to encourage other families like us to take a step of faith and adopt special needs children when it seems a financial impossibility?”
http://www.lisagarcia.net/adoptionblog?feature=1267636&postid=2445421
2) RR PAPs encouraging each other to “homestudy shop” when the first social worker has the sense to refuse to approve a PAP to adopt any kids at this time, i.e. the family has 5 high-needs SN kiddos at the moment.
“Hope i feel deep down that this is satans work please dont give up..find another homestudy agency..there is alot of families on the reeces group who have more special need kids then you have..please dont give up ill pray for you..bring the inner mama out masha needs you..”
http://thisgiftofmine.blogspot.ca/2012/10/bucket-of-tears.html#comment-form
3) RR PAPs on a mission to ”NEED TO INCREASE SPECIAL NEEDS ADOPTIONS TO THIS REGION, WE NEED TO INCREASE THE EDUCATION” who merrily blog about the wonderfulness of their ethically-challenged adoption agency. The PAP writes that:
“WACAP (the adoption agency we are using) is AWESOME. I have done a number of international adoptions and they have by far been the best. They hold your hand through the whole process and are just simply wonderful. They will also give a $10,000 grant to any family who adopt a child from this region with significant special needs.”
WACAP’s version of a fire sale on kids. Barf.
“*This region provides monthly subsidies to children with special needs that goes into a bank account for them to collect either when they get a family or when they turn 18. We were told to expect to recieve $2,000-$3,000 per girl. This was a big surprise and will greatly help with adoption expenses.
*You can adopt 2 unrelated children and WACAP will WAIVE ALL ADOPTION FEES for the 2nd child. “
That WACAP lets PAPs simultaneously adopt 2 unrelated kids is bad enough. The fact that they encourage it by offering BIG DISCOUNTS is horrific. idea.
“*The city is easy to manuever, very modern and has all the amenities of home.
*This region is well known for waiving the waiting period for special needs adoptions. We have been told repeatedly that we should expect it to only be 2 trips but that it may be 3 trips (although that has never happened so far for a special needs adoption)”
I’d be interested to see if the waiving of the third trip still applies, given the new laws regarding adoption that are being phased in in Russia.
http://www.adoptiongrove.blogspot.ca/search?updated-max=2012-06-07T17:30:00-06:00&max-results=10&start=10&by-date=false
The PAP brags that the folks who run the orphanage “didn’t understand Russia’s confidentiality laws and so we got to see much of the orphanage and interact with a lot of the kids” and that she’s taking advantage of that fact by taking tons of “pics and having lots to say about many of the RR kiddos!” in this Russian orphanage. Double barf.
http://www.adoptiongrove.blogspot.ca/2012/06/saw-elena.html
And people like Lisa Garcia (and others) who fundraise for their adoption 100% will still take the adoption tax credit/deduction, even though that’s illegal because they didn’t pay adoption funds out of their own pockets.
I cannot understand what she is referring to when she talks about wanting to get a job to pay these expenses, but instead fundraising the whole thing. Huh?
Love the Halloween theme. Too bad agency behavior is spooky, twisted, and dark all year round.
Ugg…why didn’t anyone tell me not to eat before looking at that Garcia blog? Barf…
APs who fundraisers their adoption costs, only to get home and launch fundraisers to cover company’s for their newly adopted kids:
http://theroaddownhome.blogspot.com/2012/10/new-ebay-items-polish-pottery.html
I find this disturbing. What home study agency approved them for these children if they are in need of ebay items to pay for “doctor copays” and “diapers”???
The kind of homestudy agency they’ve shopped around for bc the sane ones won’t approve them
http://theroaddownhome.blogspot.ca/2012/08/please-pray.html?m=0
I’m not sure where to post this, but I’ve been seeing a lot on the blogs about neuro reorg for adopted children. It seems like s and like the parents are looking for behavioral problems, like this family:
http://triforhope.blogspot.com/2012/10/to-hell-and-back-again.html?m=1
Maybe you could do an article/blog about neuro reorg?
Yes, I’d noticed that too. There isn’t any scientific research to back up neuro reoganizatio, but a heckva lot of APs seem to turn to it as a penultimate desperate step.
Like this AP, who tried it briefly before shipping the allegedly RAD kid adopted from ykraine to boarding school (while continuing to homeschool the beloved biokid):
http://trudgingahead.blogspot.ca/2010/04/is-it-working-yet.html?m=1
I will do a post at some point hopefully this year on neuro-reorganziation. It is my intent to do posts on all modalities of treatments that APs are using. For now, to briefly sum this up: neglect can cause a child to retain infant reflexes and this can be the *cause* of many sensory issues and other issues that may look like mental issues but really are not. The important question is *how* to address the issue. My rule of thumb is to have an intervention be as least stressful to child and parent as possible. This particular intervention involves prolonged physical manuevers for a prolonged period of time wih no exception. I do not like the rigidity of the program. This particular intervention was developed n the 1960s and has been replaced by many other interventionas taht do not cause anxiety since then but a few groups have been promoting this intervention for the past 5 years or so.