Vietnam Open International Adoption Story

Carmel Valley family shares inspirational tale of adoption [Carmel Valley News 9/15/11 by Kelley Carlson]  is the story of a private, open international adoption. The boy had first been adopted by the sister of a nun that was affiliated with his orphanage. When the adoptive mother became too old to take care of him, he was adopted a second time (at age 13) to the US.

Before we share some details, we must mention a few things.

First, the two year-process cost $15,000- $20,000 in the late 1990s. If you read the whole story, that will jump out at you.  Yes, that is shockingly high and obviously underscores how the industry makes a lot of money in any situation that it can.

Second, questions may come to your mind about why the child would be moved across international borders to begin with or about the process/visa approval itself. While we prefer these kinds of stories to come from the adoptee himself, the openness appears to reflect his best interests.

Really, our point of sharing this rare kind of story is to show specifics of an adoptive family in an open international adoption and the honesty of how the story is shared.

Some excerpts are below:

AP Recognition of  the Real, Normal Fears of the Internationally Adopted Child and the Connection to the Previous Family

In this case, it was the first adoptive family.

“In January 1998, the Pieroneks flew to Vietnam to meet Tuyet and Martin.

Martin’s first impression of Cindy — which he revealed to her later — was that he was scared of her.

“Unlike the Vietnamese women at the time, I wore makeup and bright eyeshadow,” Cindy Pieronek said. “My hair was blond, short and spiked up; to him (and others in Vietnam), I looked like I came from the moon.

“We instantly developed a great relationship with Tuyet, his mother, and she liked us right away.

“We could see how Martin was doted upon,” Pieronek said. “He was the crowning centerpiece of that family. He would go from house to house (many family members lived close by) and get fed all day long.”

Pieronek noted that Martin had no father, since Tuyet never married.

“The older cousins took on the role of being father figures,” she explained. “Extended families are so important in Vietnam.”

The Process of the Vietnam Side

“After a successful visit, the adoption process continued — the businesswoman continued her behind-the-scenes work in Vietnam, while in the U.S., the Pieroneks went through home studies, in which social workers make sure a home is appropriate and safe for an adoptee.

But before the adoption was finalized, the paperwork suddenly “disappeared,” and a Vietnamese government agency reviewing the case asked for money in order to “continue” processing, Cindy Pieronek said.

“We were worried we’d have to start over again,” she said. “We prayed and prayed. And God intervened.”

Jim Pieronek made a return trip to Vietnam and met with Oanh. Together, they went to the office where the paperwork was hung up.

“It was like walking with President Clinton — everyone stepped aside,” Cindy Pieronek said.

Oanh found the office’s director, who apologized profusely, and the paperwork’s processing continued without further incident.

But there was another factor creating problems in Martin’s situation — there was no paperwork or protocol for a second adoption within Vietnamese law.

According to Pieronek, Oanh took the issue to People’s Committee — equivalent to the U.S. Congress — and got a bill written to get Martin out of the country.

He made it out “under the wire,” Pieronek said — the U.S. consulate was slated to be closed for three weeks in Ho Chi Minh City, and the last day it was open, Martin was processed. The Pieroneks flew to Bangkok, where the processing was completed, and took him home. It was the summer of 1999, and Martin was now 13 years old.”

Open International Adoption

“But the Pieroneks encouraged Martin to maintain his ties to his Vietnamese family.

“Even after he was adopted by us, he would call and talk to his mom Tuyet and relatives,” Pieronek said.

And during the summers, Martin would fly to Vietnam and stay with them for about a month.

“He had a real love for Tuyet, who raised him,” Pieronek said. “It was important for him to stay close with his Vietnamese adoptive mother and maintain his culture and language.”

Meeting Birthfamily and Still Connecting to Vietnamese Family While He is an Adult

After completing his master’s degree in chemical engineering from the University of Florida in Spring 2011, he is working for “a company in Texas, where he is teaching clients how to use their software products, Martin will be periodically traveling to Asia for work.

“We’re really proud of him,” Pieronek said. “We talk with him just about every other day. And he still stays in communication with his family back home (in Vietnam).”

She added that Martin finally met both of his birth parents, which occurred in the last few years. Tuyet died about two years ago, Pieronek said, which was hard for Martin.

“When he thinks of Mom, that’s who he thinks of,” Pieronek said.”

It is refreshing to read a story where an adoptive parent has enough self-esteem to recognize all the different important people in her child’s life and to encourage ongoing connections!

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