Reflections on Transracial Adoptions
Laura Riness, an adoptee, gives a nine-minute video of her experiences that is a must see for every PAP and AP.
See the video at this link.
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I feel sorry for her (that she has issues with being adopted by a white family). Would she have fared better in the foster system?
FacePalm. Can you really not see that there may be issues with being isolated? You need to listen to adoptees more instead of looking at adoption only through the eyes of how an adoptive parent feels. Your strawman question is ridiculous.
That’s a false dichotomy. She would have fared better if there had been access to resources that would help her develop her identity as an African-American woman. Thankfully, there are more resources and more awareness these days, but without these sort of stories, people aren’t always aware of why it’s important.
Not at all looking at from the perspective of an adoptive parent. I am looking at it merely as another adult. Asking a very honest question. Is that not permitted here? Not an adoptive parent here. Seriously asking a question.
By saying you feel sorry for her and asking that question,you more than imply that she should only have gratitude and no other feelings about being raised as the only black child in a family. That is a common sentiment that is all too often expressed by adoptive parents.Your question about foster care can’t be answered because her life can’t be replayed, so what really did you want to ask?
Only someone so incredibly biased and defensive would assume that by feeling “sorry for her” it implies the adoptee should be grateful. Really? The point *IS* that most anyone who sees another person unhappy or in pain is going to feel “sorry” or express empathy, whatever you’d prefer. Doesn’t imply gratitude. I think the OP is trying to determine – this person had few options. It was not her fault that she had few options. Would she have preferred to live in foster care? Because she wasn’t going to be cared for by her original family. That stinks, but that’s a fact. Beyond that, there are choices…and she doesn’t like the choice of being a different face among her family. Got it. So I guess we go back to the days where only black families can adopt black children when there’s a higher percentage of children of color in the foster care system and too few families of color to care for/adopt them/insert socially acceptable term here? And increased recruitment efforts, while successful, have not filled the gap? It’s not a strawman’s question and if it is, yet again, RT asks it. We hate adoption, we’ll give you reasons why we hate adoption and it’s corrupt and the problems of multicultural families…but we won’t offer a serious solution. Perish the thought.
Since you are not the person who asked the question, why do you feel obligated to assume what this person meant? I guess when *you* assume what this person meant it is ok, but it is not ok for me? LOL. Feeling sorry for someone is pitying them and being condescending. If you looked at the video, she is a happy person and loves her adoptive parents, but adoption is more complicated than that.
How do you know that her family couldn’t care for her? Did you interview all of them? Do you know all of her personal history? Talk about assumptions! Wow!And a leap to saying only black people should ever adopt a black person? Wow again.
Sorry you hate adoption so much, but this video was about an adult adoptee trying to explain the complexities of growing up in a white family and trying to pay it forward.
As a non-adoptive parent I surmise that my insight is not valid in the eyes of the moderator(s) of this forum. This supposed forum wants to bring change and “reform” to adoption. It looks like nothing more than a witch hunt to me. I also detect some stalking and unhealthy misguided attention on families doing something good.
What insight are you talking about? I seriously don’t know. Feeling sorry for her is a type of reform how? Asking about would she be better off in foster care? How is that about reform? I just don’t understand your question or what you are trying to say.How is this post a witch hunt? It is a post trying to educate prospective parents about racial issues in adoption. Hard stuff needs to be discussed. Why you are trying to turn this back on the adoptee is concerning to me.