FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
(1) Precious.org tries to capitalize on Russia Ban
by continuing their photolistings See here.
Privacy schmivacy! Gimme all that orphan info and photos!
(2) Though he signed a contract releasing him from responsibility, sperm donor faces child support suit
All because a doctor didn’t handle the artificial insemination. The background is in this article. This article says that one of the women deceived the state. The hearing is postponed until April.
Ick! Not another 
case!
(3)CCAI’s response to Russia Ban
See here :
“Since learning of the possible ban, CCAI has been deeply engaged in supporting this and other opposition efforts by Members of Congress.” Deepy engaged, huh?
“”Whatever issues our two governments may be facing, there is no political reason to put vulnerable children in the middle of political posturing,” Landrieu said. “Children should be raised by parents, not in orphanages, institutions or alone on the street.”
I missed the article that says that Putin will release all children to the street. Sen. Landrieu, just what the heck are you or your agency buddies doing for children on the street? The answer is nothing. People don’t go to Russia and internationally adopt a child living on the street.The impact on that is 
.
(4)Another ridiculous Russia article
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-kurlander/the-russian-adoption-ban_b_2386012.html
Adopting now saves 2 lives-gives bed space to another child in the country? And certainty that hundreds or thousands of dead children will occur and the best part…we all should boycott vodka. He even has a petition for it.
Oh no, not the vodka! Maybe we will do this instead
!Join us! JOIN US!
(5) And Another Russia one
Vladimir Putin’s Adoption Ban Raises Issue of Who Will Save Russian Orphans
Yes, who will save the (fraction of healthy) children that would have been adopted to the US? Italians, Irish…Russians ?
(6)Death is better if this Evangelical PAP can’t have her
http://penniesforaprincess.blogspot.ru/2012/12/death-would-be-better.html
Scary stuff! 
One include:
1) American APs expressing their dismay at the Russian adoption ban and merrily admitting they paid bribes (!) to expedite their son’a adoption (!!) in a national publication:
“The D’Jamoos family, meanwhile, grew attached to the boy and decided to adopt him. It took bribery, Alexander admits, to speed up the process. At 15 years of age, he was just one year away from being too old to be eligible for adoption.”
http://m.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/01/russias-ban-against-us-adoptions-the-human-cost/266817/
2) PAPs who cannot cannot afford to complete their adoption — the lovely Denise Davis was named the parent of 2 Bulgarian orphans in December 2012, but cannot bring the children home without $19,000 from strangers (to cover past-due agency fees and second trip travel costs).
“HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE IT IS 12:05AM HERE IN LOUISIANA
:o))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Another year has passed us by and we will shortly be traveling to bring our children home. Now we are working on the last part of our adoption the pickup trip.. And before we can pickup our children there are
final agency fees due and then saving the travel fees to bring them both home. Currently we have saved towards their medical exams and in-country food. The main portion of fundraising is our Agency of $12,750 Hotels $1400 and Airline tickets of $5400.00 2 adults round trip and 2 children one way home. So right at $19,550.00 total needed to save and raise within the next two months. Keep our family in your prayers for 2013 for our little ones and a quick homecoming…..”
http://nachalaadopt2.blogspot.ca/2012/12/1-year-4-months-2-weeks.html?m=0
I need a drink.
Even the Grim Reaper would need a drink after reading all the drivel quoted above.
PAPs who semi-see the light with respect to adoption corruption in Ghana. This PAP was working on adopting 2 unrelated Ghanaian girls. Upon arrival in country, they found out that 1 girl had a birthmom that did NOT want her to be adopted and did the right thing (did not adopt the girl, helped the girl return to her birthmom AND agreed to pay the girl’s school fees… now that she’s reunited with her bithmom! Yay! This is the right thing to do. The second girls provenance is murkier, but yheyre moving forwards with her adoption anyways
http://ghanakeepgrowing.blogspot.ca/2012/12/uncovering-truth.html?m=0
Selling “Orphan Addict” bracelets to raise money. “Orphan Addict”. I do not think I can think of a more Facepalm-worthy slogan. I didn’t think any slogan would too one PAP’s ghastly “Serial Adopter” t-shirts, bu this bracelet does:
http://emonamission.blogspot.ca/2012/12/are-you-orphan-addict.html?m=0
LOL. I picture someone snorting up an orphan like a line of coke…That one ties Serial Adopter.
Another gag-worthy interview with Reece’s Rainbow’s illustrious founder, Andrea Roberts:
http://liveactionnews.org/the-world-cant-just-stand-by-and-let-this-happen-an-interview-with-reeces-rainbows-andrea-roberts/
I just saw that one today. It was on our list for the coming week. We will have more to say about that one soon.
I tried to post a comment to the article but it was oh-so-shockingly instantaneously deleted:
Ms. Roberts has her facts wrong regarding the legality of photolisting and pre-selecting Russian kids – it is illegal. Only the Russian government is permitted to photolist Russian orphans. But don’t take my word for it, see for yourself on the Government of Russia’s official website – it’s in Russian, but you can translate it by clicking “English” (top right of page) or using Google Chrome’s autotranslate feature for the whole page:
PHOTOLISTINGS:
Article 4. Mandatory requirements for the formation and use of state bank of data on children”, which orders that the State and Federal Data bank be required to provide “protection of documented information leakage, theft, loss, fraud, misrepresentation and unauthorized access.”
http://www.usynovite.ru/documents/federal/legislative/gosp/
PRE-SELECTION OF RUSSIAN ORPHANS:
Pre-selecting kids is illegal, as per the Family Code of the Russian Federation Chapter 19, Section 126. 1:
“Section 126. 1 Inadmissibility of Mediation in Child Adoption
“A. Intermediary services for child adoption, that is, any activity of others in order of selection and transfer of children for adoption on behalf of and for persons wishing to adopt children is NOT ALLOWED.”
http://www.usynovite.ru/documents/federal/legislative/kodecsrf/
ALLEGATIONS OF ILLEGAL DOINGS BY RR-AFFILIATED STAFF:
Here’s an excerpt from an email Susan Johnson, head of the Russia program, at RR affiliated Hand in Hand adoption agency sent to her clients in June 2012. Decide for yourself if RR knowingly breaks the law by photolisting and pre-selecting Russian orphans:
“We are all indebted to Reece’s Rainbow for providing an avenue in bringing the needs of these special children to our attention, there are not enough words to express our gratitude. However, RR should not be mentioned in your documents, home study, on the Internet or to anyone while in Russia, because your child’s medical condition and availability is extremely private and can be only legally displayed on the Russian data bank website.
Any information provided by Elena, Alyona or a volunteer about your adoptive child is absolutely unofficial, only after you’ve been registered is it permissible for Elena or Alyona to obtain information on the child’s health status and location. If “The Committee” in St. Petersburg or the “Moscow Department of Education” were to get wind of what they are doing they would not only shut them down but worst case scenario face criminal charges. I don’t mean to scare you, but you need to be aware of the situation and I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t mention this to you from time to time. Remember that we need to uphold and respect Russia’s customs and laws while undergoing the adoption process and while we are visitors in their country. These are their precious children that they are allowing us to take halfway around the world never be seen again, and when considering the “alleged” scandals and atrocities perpetrated against Russian adoptees that have occurred here in this country, they are justified in their skepticism and in the demands that they place upon us no matter how nonsensical they may seem to us as Americans…
…I’ve been dealing with this for two days now and it’s been very difficult. Somehow the Russian’s found out about Reeces Rainbow through a Russian chat group (the details are very convoluted) and knew that a family was coming to visit their adoptive child due to the FSB button on their sponsorship page which I understand takes you directly to the child’s RR listing. This is against everything that I’ve been telling our families, the rule of thumb is that if you can locate a child on the Russian data bank through information that is listed on your blog, then according to the Russian government you are breaking the law and will not be allowed to adopt.”
http://theadoptionspotlight.wordpress.com/2012/06/09/reeces-rainbow-the-trouble-in-saint-petersburg-email-from-hand-in-hand/
Last but not least you may also want to look into RR’s allegedly illegal/unethical behavior in other Eastern European countries:
Leah Spring’s RR-affiliated Serbian in-country facilitator was arrested (shortly after she completed her first adoption in 2010); the Serbian government later invited her back to testify against the facilitator. Her email is on her blog, so don’t believe me – ask her:
http://myianna.blogspot.com/2011/03/shepherds-and-sheep.html?m=1
http://serbianadoption.blogspot.com/2012/10/are-you-researching-serbian-adoption.html?m=1
Thanks for pulling all of that together!Even if Andrea was correct (which I do not believe based on the information available) I would think that now that the ban is legally in place, that no site should have any Russian kid on it whatsoever. What would Andrea have to say to that?
Technically Andrea never took the Russian kids off of RR because they’re all there until the “heinous” ban is removed. Those kids are just on hold, but anyone could look at their illegal profiles through a quick Google search.
Hmm. I followed the link on #6. Did you see how many Russian commenters not only expressed sympathy and solidarity, but indicated that this is but the tip of the iceberg of poor treatment of children under Putin?
Yes I saw the comments. And?
Adoptive parent Lisa Qualls (she works for Dr. Karen Purvis’ Empowered to Connect) is exiling her adopted 10 yr old daughter “Dimples” to the ghastly unlicensed Ranch for Kids in Montana:
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/the-honest-truth/
Who can one report this to? Presumably it’s legal (if incredibly irresponsible) to send your kid to that awful place… but the fact that other adoptive parents get advice from Lisa Qualls, that she’s writing a book on raising tough adopted kids, she’s an EXPERT and this is what she’s doing?? Gahhhhh!
How sad. I don’t get how they think she will heal there. I also presume it is legal to put your kid there. Hopefully the current investigation going on by the locals who want it shut down will actually yield some results.
She’s an adoptive parenting expert. EXPERT on kids from “hard places”. EXPERT.
The comments from Ms.Qualls’ supporters on her blog make me want to reach for a barf bucket — all congrats! all telling her how brave/special/wonderful she is for sending her kid to the Ranch!! Barf x 1000!!
(I’ve decided to tell me self that she moderates her comments, thus refusing to publish the non-positive ones from the presumably sane folks who think sending a kid with a serious mental illness to an unlicensed, non-medical facility that does not have a doctor or psychiatrist on staff is a really, truly terrible and irresponsible thing to do).
Godly Christians appalled by the Russian adoption ban whose “Russian adoption community” includes ONLY APs/PAPs/minor Russian-born children:
By Russian adoption community I am speaking of American adults that have adopted Russian children that have no family or no country looking out for them. And it takes a lot of money to run orphanages — they don’t run themselves for free — the US citizens, churches, government spends a lot of money helping Russian orphans, probably more than Russia does. I can tell you that it is very expensive to have systems set up to make sure children get homes in America — it is not profit based as you suggest — it simply cost money, yes, people get paid to do their jobs. People are not going to do it for free — it takes a lot of time and effort — agencies have fulltime staff in Russia helping the process work. Why is it wrong for people to have a vested interest? They have bills to pay, children to feed in their homes no doubt, so why not work at something that helps people. Doctors, nurses, social workers etc. all have a vested interest in what they do. How is that any different. And I am not the one who said Russians are appalled by this ban — but it is true, many are appalled.
washingtonpost.com/g%2BgmkIkwucGy/rWm3Tx1usgoWI6YUHMFVlNQOUtKBgd/tT03sC7QkQ%3D%3D/
Name,
Re: “… I can tell you that it is very expensive to have systems set up to make sure children get homes in America…”
Does it ever occur to you that it would be a lot more cost-effective to help Russian orphans in their own countries instead? For example, by funding Early Intervention programs, needed craniofacial and orthopedic surgeries, and respite care for Russian parents who adopt Special Needs kids?
In fact, fewer Russian parents would probably surrender their disabled babies to state care in the first place if this kind of financial safety net existed there. Isn’t that a far more preferable solution than adoption by Americans?
Even Reese’s Rainbow gives lip service to this idea, though they don’t extend it as far as making the same services available to in-country APs. I notice on their website they sometimes mention listed children being in “loving foster homes” rather than institutional care. Why not provide the resources to allow these foster parents to adopt the children they’ve already bonded with, rather than run the risk of RAD by dislocating them?
Of course, that’s assuming RR is telling the truth about the foster parents being loving, which may be a stretch. The intent of such verbiage seems to be allaying PAP’s fears of orphanage delays or attachment disorders than anything else.
For that matter, a well-funded and humanely-run Russian orphanage would be a better place for these kids than unlicensed group homes like Ranch for Kids, where they don’t even run BACKGROUND CHECKS on employees before hiring them. Think about it: If you were a child or teen, which group care environment would YOU rather live in?
The Reece’s rainbow death toll rises…. Again. Rip to Amanda unroe’s lil dumpling Matthew Unroe, from Bulgaria:
[FACEBOOK link deleted.]
Amanda is shopping for a replacement kid already – the 20 (!!) Shes got left is nowhere near enough!!
Where do you see that Amanda is shopping for another kid? I’ve seen you post that in other places as well.
Does anyone know what happened??
He died from a pre-existing medical condition that was caused by being nearly beaten to death by his birth parent in Bulgaria. His docs gave the Unroes the bad news of Matthew’s terminal diagnosis months ago, and he’s been receiving hospice care for awhile.
People who sensationalize an adoptee’s death from a pre-existing medical condition are vultures. For pete’s sake, leave these families to grieve their loss in peace and go pick your bones elsewhere.
Amanda Unroe’s Facebook says she’s shopping for a replacement for Matthew. Go see for yourself!
Yes, Matthew Unroe died of injuries ORIGINALLY sustained in Bulgaria… but he LIVED for 2.5 yrs with those injuries AND appalling neglect in Bulgaria. Less than TWO YEARS of “love” from his forever mommy Amanda? Killed him!
Being adopted by a godly Christian Reeces Rainbow supporter or ex-RR supporter is all too often FATAL!
– Timmy Kroll had CP — CP that didn’t kill him in a bad orphanage for YEARS, CP that’s mild-moderate that tends NOT to kill kids a age 5 — and is dead too. Less than two years after adoption.
“We cannot afford to adopt but can’t afford the adoption fees” is a TOTAL CROCK — timmy’s amom fundraised his freaking FUNERAL EXPENSES http://www.gofundme.com/l9o5ew
MRS Kroll is also shopping for replacement RR kids to acquire with other people’s money! Because one dead-on-her-watch-SN-kid just isn’t eniugh!
– RR-it’s Jamie Vanchura fundraised her friend Mrs Kroll’s funeral expenses. She adopted one rr kid she couldn’t afford … a Ukrainian dumpling called Daisy (who may well get dumped in foster care)… and has now decided a SECOND RR kid using other people’s money is in order too:
http://reecesrainbow.org/87854/sponsorvanchura-2
Henry Dobrovits. Gennie Davis. Adam Mitchell. Nicolas Emelyentsev (+ his adopted brother got dumped in foster care). Chrissie Patterson. Tommy Musser. Chrissie Patterson. Selah Clanton may as well be dead (she’s been comatose for 2 yrs! She moved/breathed / ate independently in Ukraine).
How many more vulnerable SN kids need to die before somebody does something about this?!?
Now now. You know full well that some of those children were not “killed” by their adoptive families. Two of those children that you listed passed due to medical reasons beyond any human’s control. Henry and Chrissie. If anything, those two families did all that they could to seek out proper medical treatment. You cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Re: “…You cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater…”
No one’s talking about banning adoption. We just want to reform the home study system and the USCIS standards so that fewer unprepared and improvident PAPs receive approval to adopt.
It’s curious the dead RR kids who died of “natural” causes somehow survived years and years of horrific abuse/neglect only to croak not long after being “rescued” by a RR-ite!!
Astrin – No, I meant you cannot lump Henry and Chrissie in with some of the neglectful situations. I know that you are not talking about banning adoption. I’m with you that reform needs to take place.
Dead – Sometimes when little bodies receive the medical treatment that is desperately needed unexpected complications arise. Infections can develop after surgeries (even in people who are not adopted). You may want to reconsider some common sense when making accusations.
The deaths of these children does, however, challenge the narrative that funding adoptions will save their lives.