Extreme Comparisons in the "It’s All About Me" Adoption Entitlements
The entitlement comes when a prospective parent believes that since they have paid a certain amount of money, waited a certain amount of time or been matched with a birthmother, they are entitled to that baby no matter what. We are seeing a more disturbing trend as adoptions are getting harder to complete. Now, it is not good enough for you to want to adopt, but everyone MUST accept how you are going about your adoption and MUST feel sorry for you like they would in other greivous circumstances. These people need a double-dose of attention.
The first example is from a blog in which people have *gasp* questioned the prospective parent about the adoption process and adoption. Here the PAP goes to the extreme to say that when people question their adoption, it is like they are asking to abort “the child of your heart.”
No, no it is nothing like abortion. Not even close. Not even in the same universe. They are asking important questions and PAPs should be preparing themselves. Asking questions and getting you to think is not the opposite of support. It IS support. And again, you as a PAP are not pregnant. Get over it.
“Families will go against families, friends against friends, fighting the pregnancy you now celebrate of the adopted child within your heart.
This blog also has a facepalm-filled 
Rumors, Rumors, Rumors post too.
Consider today’s Ethiopia DOS alert while reading the following:
“Rumors abound and the adoption roller coaster is not immune to the rumors. Every program we have ever used has been a host to the following rumors.
1. The Country is closing because of all the problems.
2. Someone is being investigated. I know this because I’ve talked to them.
3. Trafficking is A LOT more common than you think and in this country it is a REAL problem.
4. My wait time is so much longer than their wait time. I KNOW it’s increasing for everyone.
5. They are very unethical (adoption agency, country, etc.), because…..
6. The country is closing to singles.
7. The number of children you can have, age between children, and just about everything IS changing. I was told this by an official in country.
Even in the most stable countries and agency programs, many will state the above rumors as ABSOLUTE fact. This is normal and this WILL drive you insane (smile). If you find yourself a member of a group that dwells constantly in the negative, you may consider not reading/participating in it until your adoption is complete. We are information hounds, yet even we did not participate in some agency “call in” sessions because everyone was always panicking or attacking. This was an EXCELLENT agency with a very good reputation as well.
None of us are our bests when we are under a lot of stress. Adoption is wonderful, but unless you have the amazing gift of a very laid-back personality, adoption will have it’s periods of stress.
Yes, the above things DO happen…but not as often as some think they do. We personally have heard EVERY one of the above rumors! 99% of the time they were just that…rumors. You will often notice a few of the same people making “the waves” and starting the rumors. Use discernment, live in prayer, investigate, but know that rumors are a part of the adoption world and a TON of them never come to fruition….because, well…they’re just rumors.”
Get a Clue!
Others MUST Feel Sorry for you in SAME ways as they do for other grievous things in life
The second example is in reference to a “failed” domestic adoption/ the mother decided to parent.
just as bad.”
No, in miscarriage a baby DIES. In a failed domestic adoption, not only does the baby LIVE but the baby is with her mother. Not….even….close…It’s not all about you.
Abortion and adoption are not opposites. Failed adoptions are not like miscarriages. ENOUGH!
The opposite of abortion is having the baby live. It has nothing to do with WHO the baby lives with. That is something separate. Adoption has again gotten interwoven with another concept. (It is also interwoven with humanitarian aid in foreign countries.)
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