Super Bowl Adoptee and Birthmother Story
The first story about Colin Kaepernick’s birthmother was published in December 2012. See here, excerpts below:
“Heidi Russo longs to know her son, but she has to give him his space. She wants to protect him, but she has to let him live on his terms, as he sees fit.
So Russo agitates within, hoping that 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick — the boy she gave up for adoption, with considerable consternation, 25 years ago — someday can embrace her as a member of the only family he has ever known.
“If and when he changes his mind — he may never change his mind — I’ll watch him from home,” says Russo, 44, a registered nurse living in the Denver area. “When I have a chance to get out to a game, I’ll watch him from there.”
She is uncomfortable with her burgeoning exposure, with sharing the details of a very personal story that became national news Tuesday shortly after being reported by Yahoo. She comes across as a woman who, having grown more resolute with maturity, is trying to cope with a reality that leaves her feeling incomplete.
During a brief conversation Tuesday, her inner conflict is evident in the pauses and sighs as she attempts to balance her maternal wish with the knowledge it might never be fulfilled.
“It’s … um, obviously a strange experience,” she says of the position she is in as the biological parent of a “celebrity” she doesn’t really know.
“But I’ve been interested in getting a chance to see Colin, to be with him, since the day he was given up for adoption,” she says.
Russo has made numerous attempts to reach out over the years, and Colin has been polite but lukewarm. ”
“I have to respect his wishes,” Russo says.
She’s living with the choice she made as a pregnant 18-year-old in Wisconsin carrying a biracial child fathered by a man to whom she was not married.
“It was an excruciatingly painful time,” she says of the decision to seek parents for Colin and, upon settling on the Kaepernicks, to let him leave her life.
She’s hoping now for a relationship with Colin, or least regular correspondence, and wondering if perhaps that might somehow fill that empty space in her heart.
Yet she prudently keeps her distance, cheering from afar, as Colin prefers for now.
Russo is greatly comforted by the knowledge that Rick and Teresa Kaepernick, who raised Colin from infancy, have been cordial and assuaged by her observation of a well-adjusted young man who has grown into an NFL quarterback with star potential.
That’s something she conveyed when she met with the Kaepernicks three months ago in Denver, where the 49ers were playing the Broncos in a preseason game.”
The second story leaves out that the adoptive parents met with her. See the story here along with a lot of vile comments about birthmothers. It discusses how Heidi didn’t relinquish Colin until 6 weeks after he was born.
REFORM Puzzle Piece
Another Evil!Birthmother story, with more referred to in the comments. How dare those birthmothers decide to parent their own children, instead of surrendering them to the PAPs as God ordained!
http://www.satisfactionthroughchrist.com/2012/04/heart-broken.html
Okay, being concerned that your adoptive daughter will one day worry why her birthmother kept her younger sibling but not her is a valid point, but she’d wonder why she was surrendered anyway. Is it really the AP’s position that any birthmother who places a child for adoption thus has no right to ever have children and parent them herself? If so, is that disclosed to the birthmother before she signs the release?
Besides, it’s pretty clear that it’s their own disappointment that’s the PAP’s real grievance. Oh, and they’re PO’d that the birthparents haven’t contacted them about paying back the money the PAPs put up, which would be a stronger point if the PAPs hadn’t “fundraised” this money themselves.
http://www.satisfactionthroughchrist.com/2012/02/exceedingly-and-abundantly.html
http://www.satisfactionthroughchrist.com/2012/03/buy-or-share-help-bring-baby-boy-home.html
http://www.satisfactionthroughchrist.com/2012/04/update.html
They don’t mention whether if they DID get this money returned from the birthparents, they would distribute it back to the generous donors who gave it to them for the adoption. Double standard much?
HI! I am the adoptive mother you’re referring to in your comment here!! Before you post comments about someone or something, please make sure you know the full story!! If you’d like to speak to me further, you can email me through my blog!!
Thanks!
Also, we have an ongoing relationship with our birthmother and just as she had every right to keep her baby, we have every right to be surprised and hurt!
Also, we’ve spoken to EVERY person that donated towards our adoption and each one of them knows us personally and knows exactly what we went through!
Be sure that we would give every bit of it back to the people that gave it to us, but because they know us, are personal friends and family members, they don’t expect that of us!
Thanks, again!!
Christie – Care to explain why you seem to think it is somehow noble to beg for cash from strangers in order to adopt (bc you can’t otherwise afford to do so) but perfectly OK to demand cash back from a mother (she’s NOT a birthmom until she relinquishes the kid… and this kid wasn’t relinquished)?
It’s awful that overentitled PAPs think it’s acceptable to fundraise… in order to adopt a baby that (quite likely) with a relatively small amount of financial support would have a mom that is able to raise her.
You’re despicable.
Christie,
It’s true that I don’t have the full story, only what you’ve made publicly available on your blog. But in what you’ve chosen to reveal, you come across as an outraged consumer, angry that you didn’t get what you paid for, and thereby entitled to a refund.
Sympathy for the birthmother and happiness that THIS child won’t suffer “the loss that is at the heart of every adoption”– that doesn’t come through. At all.
However, it IS good to know that you’d have redistributed the money back to the donors had she paid it. Of course, she may be no more financially able to pay back the living expenses she received from you than you are financially able to pay your own adoption expenses. Why does she therefore deserve excoriation where you deserve sympathy?
I got curious and looked up adoption law– Montana is the only state which entitles PAPs to be reimbursed for “expenses” paid to the birthparents in the event an adoption doesn’t go through.
The PAPs live in North Carolina. According to their blog, the previous adoption with this birthmother was completed through a “private adoption agency in Florida”. There was no mention of any agency being involved in the second adoption, so it may have been purely through an attorney.
Florida law provides for a max of $5,000 for “living and medical expenses” paid to the birthparents unless there’s court approval for more. The PAPs want the birthparents to pay them back $8,000, so either they got this approval or they’re demanding the birthparents reimburse them for legal fees as well.
However, Florida law specifically states “…The payment of living or medical expenses by the prospective adoptive parents before the birth of the child does not, in any way, obligate the parent to sign the consent for adoption…”
https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/index.cfm?event=stateStatutes.processSearch
Laws in Florida are different for attorneys!
Thanks, again!
Christie,
Re: “…Laws in Florida are different for attorneys!…”
What do you mean? Are you in fact asking her to pay the legal fees involved?
My local news covered this during their sportscast. The Facebook feedback was down-right mean. One viewer was angered that this reunion might make her team lose. Another set of viewers labeled her a “gold-digger’ who only wanted reunion because of the Super Bowl. Finally, an adoptive mother chimed in, admitting she hated her child’s parents, citing their low moral character for an out-of-wedlock pregnancy and that she ended contact for that reason.
In other words, another adventure in adoption denial. The fact that the mother and the adoptive parents maintained contact over the years, totally ignored.
Wow! How sad about the coverage!