FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
(1)Highlighting the “need” for adoption really just highlights the wants of the adoptive parents
SF Families Share Their Adoption Journeys [KDLT 2/25/13 by Ashley Kringen] is filled with quotes like these:
“”Adoption doesn’t fix infertility, but you know, it’s a means to an end for us,” said Alexanda.”
“”The thought of not being parents scares me more than not going through this,” said Alexanda.”
Regarding a child from Congo: “”We’ve said from the beginning we are not perfect parents. We do not have a perfect house, but we have a house, right and we have a family and we love each other like crazy. Even on our bad days we think this is going to be a better spot for them from where they are now,” said Cara. ”
It’s all about “me” again 
(2)Adoption Services International downplays Ukrainian adoptee Andrew Arthur Butler’s death
The post is all about their business. Very, very sick See here . 
(3)Featured in this Wednesday Weirdness ,it belongs here too.
Heiress disrupts 2nd Chinese adoptee . 
She decided to adopt a second child from China after her husband died and disrupted him immediately 
and tried to cut her first adopted child out of her inheritance.
(4) DOS sends Olympians to Kyrgyzstan orphanages
See here. With the current issues with Kyrgyz adoption process and recent trip by Ambassador Jacobs, this is highly suspect. 
(5)Michael Bohm’s 5 Myth’s about Max Shatto
http://www.themoscowtimes.com/opinion/article/5-myths-about-max-shattos-death/476607.html
“1. Max was killed as a result of his mother’s beatings.” Well, the first statement was “Another Russian orphan has allegedly been killed in the US, Russia’s children’s ombudsman Pavel Astakhov told reporters. ” At that point they had already talked with the Shattos and been told the medications he was on. Allegations of abuse and neglect are still being investigated. As more information came out, they stepped back from the murder charge and even called on people to wait for more information. Apparently, Michael feels that they should never voice their opinion . The Shattos still can be charged with several crimes.
“2. Max’s parents regularly gave him Risperdal, a powerful adult drug used to treat schizophrenia. The last time Max was given doses of this drug was a day before his death.” Again, they met with the Shattos and the contents of that conversation have not been disclosed. The quote actually was “It was established that the parents had been giving the boy a heavy psychotropic substance which is normally used to treat severe cases of schizophrenia in adults, not children. It is an excessively heavy and actually an intolerable drug for a child” That statement and the autopsy both could be correct.
“3. The autopsy report was falsified to cover up the parents’ crimes of child abuse and murder.”
That is not what was said. They disagree with the interpretation (“questioned the conclusion”, and feel this is an interpretation of “preliminary results”) as do many people. Currently the medical examiner’s office is under investigation and allegations of neglect and abuse are still being investigated, by the way.
“4. Texas officials and the U.S. State Department concealed information about Max’s death in violation of the 1963 Vienna Convention on Consular Relations. Russia learned about Max’s death a month after it happened — and not from U.S. government officials, which is required by the convention, but by happenstance from neighbors of the Shattos and the local media.”
Michael’s explanation is not correct. They never said that they first heard of it on February 18. Russia in fact told DOS about the death. U.S. State Department first heard about adoptee’s death from Russian diplomats – official
[Russia Beyond the Headlines 2/21/13]
“5. Max’s parents buried him in Louisiana to hide the evidence and make it impossible to exhume the body to perform another autopsy at Russia’s request.”
While they may have a family plot, it DOES complicate matters. That is not a myth.
Michael gets the adoption industry 
award. This case is still open and has had REAL effects on the remaining pipeline adoptions.
(6)WACAP giving $100 application discounts
according to Public Yahoo group http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoptionforamericansabroad/message/9524
? Did Torry Hansen get one of those?This for a referral 
? This for which family to place the child with 
?This for the adoption menopause crowd
? This for the high risk families
?This for those that need to fundraise
? Oops! I shouldn’t be given the industry any ideas…
speed from wrongdoing in the Max Shatto case, they move on to promote Stuck . See here
“But here’s key point #1….. The film and the tour are not an end unto themselves! They will be a springboard
to a well-planned social movement that will raise the public’s awareness about international adoption as a wonderful option for building families and a critical part of the solution to the orphan crisis.”
“Here’s my 2nd key point….. This is not just a dream; 
it’s going to happen!
Against all odds, Both Ends Burning 
has pulled the adoption community together. BEB has the support of Senator Landrieu and her staff who are working on policy changes in tandem with this effort. It has the support of Jedd Medefind, President of the Christian Alliance for Orphans, as well as the leaders of the Jewish community in several cities [Gee, I thought only Christians adopt!]. The leaders of NCFA, Joint Council, CCAI and many large international adoption agencies have thrown their support behind Both Ends Burning.” What a group! One says jump, the others say, “How high?”
“Key point #3….. Most people in the adoption field recognize that the efforts of Both Ends Burning may be the best shot to save international adoption.” 
Oops! Excuse me!
A gaggle of RR alcolytes will be leading a workshop on special needs adoption at the May 2013 Summit adoption conference. Including the lovely child-collector Adeye Salem (6 unrelated adopted kids, five with severe SN, four of which were adopted via RR within the past 2 yrs) who often runs allegedly illegal gambling lottery-style fundraisers for PAPs who are adopting SN kids but require a supernatural being’s intervention to prove the $$:
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2013/03/join-us-at-summit-9.html?m=1
Just an FYI, their last 2 SN children they adopted were not adopted via RR. I do agree with some things on this website, but it is disappointing when you all jump to conclusions and published things that are not fact.
Actually she indicated that 4 of the 6 were from RR, which matches what you just said. You are the one jumping to conclusions.
No. Only 2 of her 5 SN children were via RR, not “4 of which were adopted via RR within the past two years.” The 2 that she just adopted were not via RR.
To be fair you are BOTH wrong. Her son was listed on RR but her daughter was never listed on that site. They did not set up a fundraising account through RR though,
What I was trying to state, which apparently I didn’t do clearly, is that no, 4 of the 6 are NOT via RR, only 2 of the 6 are. That is where I was disappointed with the facts not being correct. I’m not saying that Carlee doesn’t bring up some interesting points and some that I agree with, but her facts are not correct in this case. I just wish complete research would be done before jumping to conclusions.
Ms. Salem sure has alot of kids tho. Whether they are through Reece’s Rainbow or not. How does one care for so many S/N kids and do other things on top of that? I would be unable to do it.
I have a question. The one link to Adoption Services International in NJ – is she trying to be the next “Ukrainian Angels” aka Cathy Harris? Gack.
Mrs. Salem has an interesting approach to therapy for her kids with SN… after a few months, she decided to stop ALL therapy for her non-verbal, now-13 year old daughter Haven (adopted from China in 2008). Haven hated therapy when she first arrived in the US, so Mrs. Salem stopped it (sensibly, let the kid settle into her new home first) — permanently. Apparently Haven “doesn’t need to communicate”. At all (!!).
Every child NEEDS and deserves to be able to communicate their wants and needs – by sign language, by AAC via an iPad or whatever. It’s unconscionable that Adeye hasn’t even TRIED to teach her daughter SOME sort of way to communicate:
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2011/08/no-words-necessary.html