FacePalm Friday
Welcome to this week’s edition of FacePalm Friday.
This is where your hosts will list their top picks for this week’s FacePalm moment—something they learned or read about this week that caused the FacePalm to happen (you know, the expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, shock, disgust or mixed humor as depicted in our Rally FacePalm smiley).
We invite you to add your FacePalm of the week to our comments. Go ahead and add a link, tell a personal story, or share something that triggered the FacePalm on the subject of child welfare or adoption.
Your Host’s Selections:
This may be the world record of entries tonight.
(1) Gospel of Adoption
http://www.times-herald.com/religion/514436-20130427pastor-corner-ausbun-SQ [Times-Herald 4/27/13 by Daniel Ausbun]
“Salvation, just like adoption, is a change in legal status, a powerful transformation. ” Say what?What have you been 
“Our salvation is just like a child being adopted — a courtroom decision when a child leaves the judge into the security of a growing and thriving future.” Oh just like dead adoptees Max Shatto, Joseph Maoping Adams, Benjamin Yhip and others, right?
“When you’re saved, you become a son or daughter of God. This is why godly living is so important. You don’t want to misrepresent your Father’s name.” Is this the part where adoptees are supposed to be grateful to their adoptive parents…so they don’t misrepresent them?
“The world’s most vulnerable children are found in African and Asian orphanages.” I guess those in South America, Middle East, Eastern Europe, Pacific Islands and Caribbean are not vulnerable ..just the ones that are easy to adopt for you are vulnerable, huh? I think the author lives in one of these 
He is trying so hard to make the Savior mentality fit the reality.
“Politicians aren’t going to advocate orphans. ” 
They LIVE for Positive Press of “advocating for orphans” Did you not watch how many raced to the microphones after the Haiti earthquake?Or Flew children OUT of Haiti, like Governor Rendell of Pennsylvania?
“God never intended for one child to live in an orphanage.” Ya know, he never intended for the child to live outside the original family either. He didn’t make a mistake when he chose the womb to develop the child in.
Great set of comments for you to enjoy!
(2) UK Sperm Time again
“An academic who claims to have fathered 49 children as a sperm donor has been arrested on suspicion of sexually assaulting women he promised to help become pregnant.
Professor Gennadij Raivich was accused by two women in their twenties, one of whom is believed to be pregnant with his child.
Detectives have since identified a third alleged victim.”
Must I go on…
“The neuroscientist, an expert on maternal and foetal medicine, is believed to have advertised as a sperm donor online. Raivich, 50, who leads a research group for University College, London, is also thought to have three children with a partner in Germany.
Interviewed in January under a pseudonym, he told a newspaper that he had fathered 49 children by private sperm donations.
To reduce the risk of biologically-related offspring meeting and reproducing, donors can only provide sperm to ten families under British law.
But it is not known whether all the children Raivich claims to have fathered were conceived in this country.
Raivich, using a pseudonym, reportedly said: ‘I think this is just based on moral horror, not that there is much risk offspring will accidentally meet and set up homes with half-siblings. The risks of this are very low. In America there is no restraint on the number of children a donor can father and in the Netherlands it’s 25 per donor.
‘The recipients I’ve helped are aware of the number of women I’ve helped.’
Ok, just one more partHe kind of offers a two for one deal: “Raivich, who grew up in New Zealand and came to London in 2001, said he offered his services both as a donor and as a doctor as he wanted to give the gift of parenthood.”
(3)Me Me Me in this Domestic Adoption Screech
The whole thing is a sad, entitled commentary and it gets worse as you read each paragraph
Then there is this part:”But some were decidedly pregnant. We were matched with a woman we’d had long meals with, whose family we’d met, and to whom I’d talked nightly until she went into labor. From that day forward, we never heard from her—ever—again. In another situation, I spoke once with a birthmother who the next day went into labor two months early. Despite the risk, we flew across the country for this child, who, it turned out, had Down Syndrome. As open as my husband and I were to adopting a baby of a different race and as open as we became to adopting from a mother with a history of drug use, this is the one choice we were not open to. And so we did not take the child. We were told there was another family waiting, and we were trying to do the right thing for this baby. But I won’t be able to forget the moment when we left the hospital without her.
The piece de resistance of our adoption experience, however, was when, last April, I was in the delivery room—and cut the umbilical cord—of a child whose biological mother we had supported and gotten to know well. This child was subsequently with us for several weeks. We named him. We were in a farmhouse in Pennsylvania, due to interstate laws, which decreed we had to stay in the state until the legal paperwork was completed. There were goats and chickens, a stream running through the backyard. And it was spring. Everything was waking.
We had been told that the birthfather was one of two people: either the birthmother’s abusive Caucasian boyfriend or a Hispanic man with whom the birthmother had mentioned having had a brief affair.
When the baby was delivered, we were delighted he was half-Mexican for many reasons, not least that it meant the baby’s father was not the boyfriend. We believed that if the baby had been his, they might have kept him. We were told the birthfather lived in Mexico and had no desire to deal with any of this.
You can see where this is going. My sister was visiting, breastfeeding her newborn as I bottle-fed ours, when we got a call. My husband spoke to him in Spanish, and just from his gestures, the desperation in his voice, I knew it was over. The birthfather was in the next town over and apparently he had been supporting the birthmother and his unborn child through the entire pregnancy. The birthfather wanted his son.”
She ends up with some paranoid thoughts.
There are some enjoyable comments on this article too!
(4)Unhinged Comment Because There is no Way to Justify Adoption Corruption, so go for the Abortion Strawman
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/346643/left-launching-attack-evangelical-adoption
More 
in the wake of the TRUTH in The Child Catchers
“i wonder if these liberals adopt any human children or are they just concerned about dogs and cats having a home while their only answer to human orphans is more abortions and eugenics?”
(5)Foster family entitlement-Making milestone decision after only having child for 4 days 
This could have been placed in our How Could You? Archive. We actually had a malicious hair-cutting , but this passive-aggressive action of bab’s first haircutis better suited this week for this column.
http://www.wkrn.com/story/22120749/mom-upset-sons-hair-was-cut-while-in-foster-care
(6) Hosting HEALTHY tween Chinese Boys from Orphanages
Of course you need to have a homestudy ready to go. How does this fit into Hague again?
Order up your kid…now serving #13…#13 
(7) Yo! Desperate Adoption Agencies! Stop trying to Solicit Business From Me!
How pathetic are you that you send emails to me begging for me to hook you up with clients. OMG! We had such a laugh this week about this. My official answer is NO, I will not help connect you to Mexico PAPs!
(8)Collector Family Mission to Adopt
http://southtownstar.suntimes.com/19711276-522/kadner-a-mission-to-adopt-children-in-need.html
My favorite part: “On a mission trip to Ukraine, Traci encountered four siblings, ranging in age from 4 to 15, in need of adoption.
Her adopted children Sveta and Hannah came along on the trip and watched as Mom took photographs and recorded an interview with the children in hopes of encouraging people visiting the Project HOPEFUL website”
Interviewing children in Ukrainian orphanages and photographing them. How Special!
(9)CCAI salivating over Adoption Incentives
http://ccainstituteblog.org/2013/02/27/how-the-adoption-incentive-program-can-incentivise-adoptions/
Will they ever understand how giving money to states for adoption and not reunification separates families? And they want even more money to do this!
(10)Giving postadoption support is great, but not at the expense of others needing same services
Started out as a good concept, but how about developing MORE resources, and schools instead of picking and choosing which group is going to get them
(11)Cluelessly thinking that regulation is BAD in adoption (as if there is any real regulation)
http://www.marshfieldnewsherald.com/usatoday/article/2124199
Yep he drank the 
about the “red tape” being the issue in international adoption!
(12) Ignoring the Adoption Corruption in The Child Catchers and only focusing on abortion
http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2013/may/good-heart-of-adoption-movement.html?paging=off
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at how this dimwit thinks women are being portrayed in the book. This so-called Christian woman does not care about the coerced women, the abused adoptee women, the women whose children have been stolen. Those are not isolated incidents. This woman just cannot believe it is possible. I hate to burst the bubble you live in,
but try taking off those 
and read the book again!
(13) The Marshallese Adoption Opportunity that Wasn’t
http://www.allarepreciousinhissight.com/2013/04/marshallese-adoption-opportunity.html
Someone realized that it may not be such a hot 
opportunity after all!
(14) Christian Alliance for Orphans Exploiting Mexico
So good that Jedd went down to Mexico. Those people have never heard of 
, ya know! 
My head is spinning from some of these face palms.
I started to read the comments on the Atlantic article earlier, but I was too nauseated to continue after the third PAP complaint that the home study process was “too intrusive” and should be reformed to be made more respectful of PAPs. Particularly nauseating was the PAP who was indignant at having to have a CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECK in order to adopt!
But I set my mouth right, and started again, and was rewarded by reading Freida Potter’s wonderful, incisive comments. “…You are not entitled to someone else’s kid. No matter how much money you’ve spent. Period…” and “…the law in my state gives me 30 days to change my mind about any contracted service – cell phone, natural gas supplier, etc. A bioparent should surely be permitted as much time to change their mind about their CHILD!! It’s a much more emotionally fraught decision than switching to Sprint!!…” Beautiful!
There were other great comments, too, though Frieda Potter’s stuck out. There were also some comments from fair-minded people who simply didn’t know the entire story on adoption beyond the cuddly image promoted in the media.
And (sadly, but predictably) trashtalk from diehard adoption defenders. Some of who claimed to be adoptees themselves who never, EVER wondered about their natural parents– ever. Somehow, I find that hard to believe.
PAPs who go “homestudy” shopping like Reece’s Rainbow’s Shelly Burman (she’s adopted 5 unrelated Ukrainian kids with SN in the past few years) and was all set to adopt 2 more unrelated Bulgarian boys with high-needs special needs until an unusually same social worker wouldn’t let them:
“Former social worker and care giver and others involved in the Bulgarian adoption process who felt they were the ones to make judgments without true knowledge”.
So no Bulgarians for the Burmans. They switched social workers, got approved and are bringing home more Ukrainian SN kids instead. **head hits wall**
http://carringtonscourage.blogspot.com/2013/04/rebirth-part-3-his-destination.html?m=0
The Burmans had a home study for the two Bulgarians until it was discovered that they had not told the social worker that they had A) sent their adopted daughter with Down syndrome to respite with the intent of disrupting, and B) had a newborn with a rare disease placed with intent to adopt (child has been adopted by them). The agencies (home study and adoption) were livid when the truth came out. Also, please note they just adopted a child from Serbia and brought the child back from respite, presumably (but not verifiably) so they could continue adopting. I am still in complete shock that an agency approved them for four more kids.
Wow. Just wow. That is even more horrible than I could have imagined.
Do you know which kid with DS got exiled to “respite”? I’m guessing it’s one of the Ukrainian “triplets” and not little Carrington.
It was Evelyn who was sent to respite, so yes, one of the triplets. Two of the three triplets have not done well in their home and are purportedly never to be seen when visitors are there. As in, they are always in their rooms/beds, not out with the family.
Another issue alluded to frequently on her blog are former friends and caretakers. I’m not sure what is going on there, but my impression is that she wears them out and they move on.
@ Same Old — Wow. Just wow. I didn’t think it could be worse, but, wow, it is.
Bad week for RR, I guess – I’d also heard that yet another RR kid died this week, little Gennie Davis. Her aparents Denise and Gary Davis were approved to adopt her and her biobrother Jake from Bulgaria earlier this year despite not having the $$ to do so (and having resorted to begging for donations from strangers on the internet to cover basic items for their *existing* kids, diapers, a stroller, really basic stuff).
May poor little Gennie rest in peace.
http://reecesrainbow.org/27579/sponsordavis-2
http://nachalaadopt2.blogspot.com/2013/01/adding-another-day.html?m=1
http://nachalaadopt2.blogspot.com/2012/11/if-our-lord-ask-for-help-would-you-turn.html?m=1
Someone, somewhere really needs to do SOMETHING ANYTHING to reign in these disastrous (for the adoptee, the siblings, the APs, everyone!!) and likely preventable adoption disasters.
@same old – The Burmans just announced they’re adopting THREE more unrelated kids with high-needs SN:
http://myreallifebyyvonne.blogspot.com/2013/05/big-announcement.html?m=1
And Denise Davis is at it again she just got back with two more special needs kids. I am the wife of her oldest son who was removed from her at eight years old for abuse and neglect….how can this keep happening. How does a mentally ill multiple diagnoses woman who says she doesn’t need her multiple meds and sleeps till three pm while her first adopted Bulgarian daughter cares for the others and isn’t allowed to go to school, get more kids? And she ebays a bunch of the “donations”, my husband saw her ebay 2-300$ worth of kids nutrition drink powders to some place in Amherst, NY, every month. There’s a special place in hell for her and I’m terrified for these latest,additions to her house of pain.
If what you’ve written about Denise Davis is true, PLEASE CONTACT CPS.
The kids Denise has may well be in danger!
Monica Williams,
Is your husband willing to contact CPS about his concerns?
Sadly, international adoption is a Wild West environment right now. The Home Study Agency is supposed to screen out unqualified PAPs– but there are no national standards for home studies, and there are no consequences if the HSA goofs and approves an adoption which ends in tragedy.
Moreover, if an HSA gets a reputation for being strict, they lose business to more accommodating HSAs. Plus, adoptive parents can “home study shop” until they get an approval ANYWAY. Thus there’s a financial incentive for Home Study Agencies to approve any couple whose check clears.
This is why we need home study reform NOW.
Same Old, Same Old,
Re: “…The agencies (home study and adoption) were livid when the truth came out…”
Is that what Mama Shelley’s snide comment about “…Former social worker and care giver and others involved in the Bulgarian adoption process who felt they were the ones to make judgments without true documentation…” refers to?
Is this account still on their blog, or has it been “disappeared” so that it can’t prejudice future adoptions?
Oh my goodness! How could I forget! That snide comment was about two former caregivers…at least. One former caregiver is on Shelly’s permanent hate list for turning them in to CPS for medical neglect, another little factoid Shelly neglected to tell the social worker other adoption agency,even though it happened during the time they were trying to adopt the boys from Bulgaria. They were evidently cleared, and unsurprisingly so. Shelly thrives on the sympathy generated by her kids’ medical problems.
It’s also unsurprising because she is good at persuading people that these things never happened, or were simple misunderstandings. She has Carolyn Twietmeyer of Project Hopeful vaguebooking on her behalf , as if Shelly were completely honest and didn’t have three very serious reasons for having her adoption of the two Bulgarians stopped stateside.
I’ll stop…
Scary, scary, scary x 10000. And so very risky for the soon-to-be Burman kids.
You seem to know a whole lot about this very dangerous-sounding situation — and would suggest reporting it to [appropriate authority] if you haven’t already done so. I’m guessing the Powers That Be may not be inclined to do anything about it, but if it were me, I know I’d sleep more soundly having alerted *someone* to this impending disaster.
Same Old Same Old,
I realized later that if I’d read more carefully, I could have answered my own question about the context of the “…felt they were the ones to make judgments…” jab. I think I was a little blown away at the colossal entitlement shown. Um, yeah a home study IS about making a judgment about whether another child should be placed in this home. The fact the PAPs were planning to disrupt one previously adopted child and adopt a medically-fragile infant IS the kind of info a home study team needs to consider to make this determination.
Shelley Burman’s sniping about “without true documentation” is strange. She’s not saying the info wasn’t true, just that the carers shouldn’t have said anything because… they didn’t have notarized written proof? It wasn’t their business? God wanted this adoption to take place, so revealing info which would cause “secular-minded” people to refuse approval was wrong?
I’ve not been able to find that the Burman’s have a public, archived blog of their own, which lowers the chances of having someone who isn’t drinking the Kool-Aid noticing the discrepancies in their version of reality. This makes “…persuading people that these things never happened, or were simple misunderstandings…” a lot easier. There’s no TRUE documentation, after all.
Shelley Burman has taken notice of all the criticism her attempted home study fraud has garnered, and has made a statement via ‘Carrington’s Courage’:
“…Our Bulgarian adoption of Kelten and Teagan seems to be the hot topic in many people’s world and even on public forums of certain groups but to be as polite as I can: what happened to us last year is not open for public debate nor public speculation no matter who you are or what group you represent…”
Does this woman actually fantasize that she controls the internet? Talk about reading your own press releases!
Fundraisers featuring photos of the poor lil orphan chile the family wants to adopt:
http://lightingoursteps.blogspot.com/2013/05/adoption-benefit-garage-sale.html
Name,
The Christian Adoption Crusade depends on illegal photolisting. Well-meaning Evangelical and Fundamentalist Catholic couples are much more likely to “realize” that God is calling them to adopt if they visit sites like Reese’s Rainbow, full of photos of cute kids with heart-wringing stories.
Then after the fish are hooked, the photo can be used for fundraising to pay the adoption fees. People are far more likely to give money when they see a photo of an actual kid who needs his “ransom” paid in order to “rescue” him than a couple who says, “We’ve decided God is telling us to adopt a foreign orphan. Please give us the money to do so.”
Has this story been told here yet?
http://www.clarionledger.com/usatoday/article/2126409?odyssey=obinsite
It’s dated May 1. Abuse by a military dad.
Name, we actually did get that one-The Jackson case is at this link https://reformtalk.net/2013/04/30/how-could-you-hall-of-shame-carolyn-and-major-john-e-jackson-child-death/ I think I still need to update it with Thursday’s hearing
So much for only needing to fundraiser to get the kid home — it’s totally okay to beg for $$ for a caraway and umbrella stroller that you can’t otherwise afford
http://everlastingmomentum.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-lost-boys-and-ben-keeping-it-open.html?m=1
Article lamenting the decline in international adoptions there are fewer kids available for adoption and that’s tough on marriages (??!).
You cannot make this stuff up:
“Adoption has become more difficult today. Given the lack of children and the unfulfilled desire of many marriages, it seems appropriate not to add more difficulties that complicate the processes of adoption.”
** I’m speechless **
http://www.salem-news.com/articles/may062013/adoption-decrease.php
Carlee,
Notice that he didn’t even mention that these “difficulties” which “complicate the process of adoption” were intended to prevent kidnapping kids from their natural parents to sell to PAPs?
And note the dig at women who dare get abortions when they could be making PAPs happy by acting as their unpaid surrogate mothers… not mention enriching adoption agencies, who ARE allowed to profit from the desperation of wealthy, infertile PAPs.
Carlee:
I went to the links for the Bulgarian children. Is it confirmed the little girl died? How did she die? Just from her medical conditions? Poor soul.
I’m not sure how or why the poor the little girl died – though she had CF (as does her biobrother, adopted at the same time, who is still in hospital). Here’s the info from the family’s public facebook page:
“I miss my little girl. There are no words I can say that can say no
much I miss my baby girl. I wanted to share photos of her when we got
home to everyone. I wanted to tell everyone about her and her brother.
For the last 20 months I had fund raise, prayed and begged for the
funds for these two children to bring them home. My dream was for both
of them to have a father and a mother. Each and everyday as we got a
little closer with all funds all I could think of was that they were
coming home. As we arrived in the US our Lord had other plans for both
of them. And now yes our daughter Gennie is home but in the arms of
our Lord. I am trying not to cry nor be selfish but I miss and cry for
her. During this time my life has been at the hospital praying for her
brother Jake’s health. This has been the hardest last month of my
life. We were blessed to have been able to hold Gennie in our arms and
her tell us she loved us. The day before she passed she told us in
English she loved us. And as I told her I loved her back I did not
know it was the last time I was able to tell her. I miss my little
girl and today is Mother’s Day. Prior to this date I had purchased her
a special dress that matched Chrissie’s. As it still hangs in the
bedroom with all her little things all I can do is cry. I know in
Heaven she is telling me we will be together again but honestly at
this moment I can not help but miss her and cry. I know I have ask
everyone before to pray for these two children. I also ask for help in
donations to bring them home. I want you to know I thank everyone for
these few weeks we had them and I can not repay everyone or thank
everyone enough. I want everyone to know that little Gennie brought so
many smiles and each and every morning she was laughing and a happy
little girl who loved Mickey Mouse and pudding. Please on this
Mother’s Day I ask each and every Mother who is my friend and to share
this with others. Hold your child, kiss them, tell them over and over
how much you love them. Even when they drive you crazy and you are
lacking sleep remember they grow up and leave us on our Lord’s
decision. I can not or do not have the words that can express just how
blessed I was to be Gennie’s Momma. Forever in my heart I will love
this little girl and miss her precious smile.. With much love I tell
everyone Happy Mother’s Day… Denise Davis”
Very, very sad. So it sounds like they both were immediately hospitalized upon arrival to the US? Air travel with children with CF is very dicey.
NO THEY WERE NOT. MOM SAID ON FACEBOOK SHE COULDNT AFFORD MEDICAL CARE. HE WAS HOSPITALIZED AND MEDICAL CARE WAS SOUGHT OUT only AFTER, his sister died.
I have seen videos of her smiling and laughing, she was not a sick child when she came home. The mom has yet to say HOW or WHY she died. Mom was seen complaining on FB about the conpression vest and cost of meds for Jake’s CF, after the little girl died.
OMG!
@Name – That is super-duper scary as Denise Davis has bragged about getting free medical care for her existing kids from St Jude’s (presumably bc her family could not otherwise afford treatment for her *existing* kids, ie prior to adopting little Gennie and Jake) and has brazenly fundraised for basic items like a stroller, that was not covered by insurance not too long ago:
http://nachalaadopt.blogspot.com/2012/02/tomato-push-chair.html?m=1
The (basic) stroller was for Chrissie (kid adopted prior to Gennie/Jake) – the Davis’ also fundraised for *diapers* for their little girl, who has spina bifida and may well require them indefinitely.
It is scary as all get out that a family that clearly couldn’t afford basic items and medical care for existing kids was approved to adopt *more* kids — let alone kids with special needs that require expensive care they really, really don’t seem able to provide.
(And according to the NIH the shaker vest is a *basic* item needed to treat a kid with CF — it is apparently used daily and is critical in keeping a person with that illness healthy).
That little girl died of untreated pancreatitis…a very painful condition! I have had it…twice…. and both times required hospitalization and a specialized diet. Poor darling girl…such a terrible, painful way to die….
Carlee,
Do you have the URL the the family’s public Facebook page?
I think it is https://www.facebook.com/nachalaadopt?ref=ts&fref=ts
Thanks!
I agree there’s not much detail about how and why little Gennie Davis died. Denise Davis DOES mention not knowing the girl well enough to realize that she wasn’t feeling well. Not only does that contrast oddly with all her extravagant claims of maternal bereavement, you’d think that ANY kid being internationally adopted would have been taken in for a full medical workup ASAP after arriving, ESPECIALLY for a child with a terminal genetic disease like Cystic Fibrosis!
She DOES manage to get a hit implicitly blaming all the people who DIDN’T give her money, saying that if she’d had the money to bring Gennie to America earlier, she might not have died.
She follows up later with fulsome praise for Andrea Roberts and a plea for everyone to give money to Reese’s Rainbow, for which Andrea Roberts rewards her by posting “Beautiful!”
Jake is apparently still in the hospital, because there aren’t any updates that he’s gone home, and there are repeated supplications for prayers.
I found it creepy that one of our HCY APs Brigitte Van Nice commented on her page. Guess she is still deeply involved with Reece’s despite her legal issues.
Oh, okay, I was confused, but now, after going to the FB page I have clarification: “She lived in my heart for almost 2 years of fighting to bring her home and then only have her less than 3 weeks.”
Thanks also to the other posters input. Only three weeks home and the poor soul died.
Was there an obituary for her?
I haven’t found an obit. yet.
@Elizabeth Case – Denise Davis has blogged her poor little girl’s death at:
http://nachalaadopt3.blogspot.com/2013/06/saying-goodbye-to-my-precious-child.html
“After 20 months of preparing paperwork, fundraising and traveling we had picked up our children from Bulgaria. Both children have CF and also some of the worse cases of CF doctors here in the US have seen,
Our little ones we prayed for and worried for were so very malnourished and their lungs were filled with fluid. Children with CF battle daily with lung and digestive issues. With out proper nutrition, medication and regular doctor’s visit many of these children die at early ages.
Out precious little girl Gennie weighed a mere 17 pounds at age 3 years. As I dressed her in 12 month old clothing as if I was dressing a small baby doll.
Within 3 weeks of our arrival our dream of having a little girl to love soon came to an end. Her older brother Jake also laid in PICU for 3 weeks fighting for his life. Changing shifts between Gary and I we ran back and forward to the hospital to spend every minute we could with our little boy. He weighed a mere 12 pounds after arriving to the US and admitted in the hospital at 16 pounds. This last month has been involved with doctor after doctor, therapy and meds. It seemed this last two months it has felt like we have been living in a bad dream and trying to wake up. If only this could be a bad dream and wake up to find our daughter Gennie is still alive and out little boy healthy.
Much of my life has been involved in counseling and trying to deal with our daughter Gennie’s death. Trying to stop asking myself why after we worked so hard to bring her home she died? As I held my precious little girl in my arms she took her last breath at 5:15 AM. Her last words were Mamma I love you.
There are days I feel as if my heart has been ripped out and I cry and cry. Not to be selfish but I miss my little girl. As I walk into her room I see her bed with her baby dolls and the clothes I had laid out for her to wear that day to see her doctor. Above her small bed a cross to protect her as she slept. In a small box on her dresser within lays two outfits I had made for her 4th Birthday. Gennie loved Winnie the Pooh and also Mickey Mouse. On her walls there is Minnie and Mickey Mouse, Cabbage Patch Dolls which fill shelves all around her room. Each morning as I enter her room I have to come to terms she will not be coming back home. She is gone, my baby girl is gone. I know one day we will be together in Heaven but for this moment in time I miss her. I grieve for her, I cry for her… I hold her small pink doll and place it back on her bed. Her bed is empty as well as my heart…
I know in my heart there is still love for another little girl. Maybe afraid.. Afraid to love or fall in love with another child for losing her also. It will take time, time to heal so I can love again…”
Sadly, it sounds like the little boy (Gennie’s biobrother, adopted simultaneously) isn’t yet out of the woods either.
PAPs who weren’t able to complete their Russian adoptions are in DC, and one of them makes the Facepalm worthy comment that:
“These parents are really committed to post-adoption services,” she said, adding that in their cases, “There will be no stories in the newspapers later that make us want to cry.”
Um, no way to guarantee that. Willing to bet EVERY single Russian PAPs said/thought that… and it didn’t stop really bad things from happening to a not-insignificant number of their allegedly beloved but now abused/disrupted/dead Russian-born kids.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/families-in-the-midst-of-adopting-russian-orphans-urge-officials-to-release-children/2013/05/14/46ad2a42-bca4-11e2-97d4-a479289a31f9_story.html
Not sure why you see this as a facepalm, carlee.
From the article you linked: “On the verge of tears, Turri said she spoke for 230 “pipeline” families who were offering Russian officials increased access, oversight and transparency around adopted children once they are in the United States, including visits from Russian officials to check on their welfare.”
The russians had legit concerns about pap prep and post-placement access and reporting this group of paps listened to those concerns and is trying (harder than the us govt it would seem) to do something about them.
If ignoring the Russian concerns (a la the us govt) and addressing them (a la this group of pipeline paps) are both facepalmtastic what would be a reasonable, responsible, child-centered response?
more on the paps’ proposal: http://en.ria.ru/world/20130515/181151082/US-Parents-Propose-Solution-to-Adoption-Ban-Standoff.html
Name,
I don’t think it’s enough to give access “in the event a Child Welfare case is opened”. How many of the dead kids HAD an open case when they died? Nor are parent generated “happy family” reports likely to be viewed as adequate.
The Russians seem to want active monitoring, with home visits by their representatives, who’ll be on the lookout for nascent problems– AND who’ll be able to talk directly to all the children in the home without the APs present.
They also want to be able to talk directly to any Russian adoptees in out-of-home placements like ‘Ranch for Kids’ without needing “permission” from the APs or staff. The Russians view these children as having dual Russian and American citizenship– with a right to appeal to their country’s embassy in the event of poor treatment. They don’t want APs “rehoming” kids who don’t work out to another family WITHOUT their having any input about the new PAPS– or even being informed of the disruptions.
I don’t see the APs who participate in Adoption Ministries being happy with allowing that much ” government interference” in their “right” to raise their “own” children as they see fit. Nor do I see Russian Child Welfare workers being content with allowing American APs to continue to police themselves while promising that THIS time they’ll do a better job of it– each individual accountable-only-to-God’s-Law-not-man’s-law one of them.
It’s a cultural difference that I don’t see any way to resolve. Not that the Russians are under any obligation to water down their standards to American tastes, just because Infertile Yuppies Need Healthy Babies! Or because Christian child collectors need as many children as possible, regardless of age, special needs, or PAP financial resources.
Mind you, I think Vladimir Putin’s only concern is whether he can succeed in using “baby leverage” to accomplish his political goals. Other Russians, however, are less cavalier about the fate of internationally-adopted Russian children.
The offer of increased access/monitoring is great — but it’s sheer hubris to insist that these measures absolutely positively guarantee there won’t be any problems — *that’s* Facepalm worthy.
Also Facepalm worthy is that the problem with ALL cases of Russian child abuse and deaths is that the people were homestudy approved to begin with. The PAP proposal is not about proper PRE adoption safeguards, but all about their personal cases. Post adoption education? How about PRE adoption education! Improper expectations, abusive “discipline” regimens, refusal to ask professionals for help/medical neglect and pedophiles (Masha case) are at the heart of the issue. It requires critical thinking and not a checklist in the homestudy phase which requires properly trained social workers. None of this exists.
Again the treaty was never enforceable on the US side as state laws are not compatible with what Russia wants. This treaty never should have been agreed to by the US in the first place.
This ban was an accumulative (sp) effect of YEARS abusive adoption situations. Not from one case, but YEARS of it.
I understand how the PAPs feel that those children are “theirs”. I undersatnd clearly why they feel betrayed and hurt.
However, thanks to the abuses which have gone on for years and years, we have the ban.
These PAPs need to look at the past to understand the present situation.
[from my own experience, it’s not just the Americans who are all at fault for the abuses – lying about a child’s health to that child’s intended adoptive family is a travesty. From the orphanage directors, orphanage workers and the facilitators on the ground in Russia, it all became a huge lie machine where the needs of the children and potential adoptive parents were NOT met]
In my analysis, the methodology of both pre-adoptive training and post-adoptive monitoring needs a long-overdue overhaul.
When I look at the bibliography of some of the more recent social science articles, they are citing studies going back to the seventies, sixties, even further back without a lot of recent research. Nothing really addresses how the internet changed adoption other than a few how to books on how to market your PAP profile online that are just a variation of the older advice on putting ads in the newspaper.
Nothing really seems to address improving the quality of child welfare services either so that bad actors stay out of it. With most of the social science research done in the US, of course that will reflect the wants and desires of the paying adoptive client or the agency who makes money off the transaction.
IA and domestic, we are in modern times and while these older studies might be some “gold standard” for pregnancy counseling or home study preparation, more recent legal cases prove the model is not modern at all. Nor is the Respectful Adoption Language all that respectful.
These decades old “gold standard” methods also do not factor in major societal shifts in both the sending and receiving countries or learn from the lessons that occurred in the shut down of Guatemala.
Most of the studies focus on the families paying for services, not the kids and not the families losing parental rights. The newer studies seem to be limited in depth as well. It’s very easy not to survey a certain segment of a control group to skew results so it looks great on the NFCA website. Or to frame questions so the response comes out the way the researcher wants it to.
When I delved into studies on adoption disruption, a few law review articles exist but they are far from comprehensive. When the bad parts of adoption is not disclosed and shadowy, it’s not helping the kids at all.
If the lens is so focused on one part of the triad with little effort to study how this affects the child or the foreign parents, it’s easy to see how policies might go wrong.
The US Government sent a lovely letter to families hosting Ukrainian kids reiterating that 1) Ukraine doesn’t allow the pre-selection of kids to adopt and 2) just because you hosted a kid doesn’t mean you (or anybody else) is entitled to adopt them, as many kids residing in orphanages aren’t available for international adoption:
http://theadoptionspotlight.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/us-consul-addresses-ukrainian-hosting-and-adoption/
The lovely Adeye Salem begging her readers to host Ukrainian kids as it’s an awesome way find families for these Ukrainian not-necessarily-orphans:
“Hosting a child is such an easy way to “care for the orphan” as we are commanded to do in the book of James. Opening your home for just five weeks this summer to an orphan not only gives them an opportunity to have a summer of fun, family, and wonderful new experiences, it also greatly increases their chances of being adopted. Please would you consider adding one of these sweet children to your summer plans this year?”
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2013/05/urgent-host-families-needed-today.html
I never understand the sentiment to “easily” care for orphans. When did Jesus say that doing the right thing was going to or should be easy?-quite the opposite is what my Christian religion says…
The Dangers of Adopting without a Contigency Plan/Fund
As you may have heard, US Embassy in Gunguzow China received a package containing suspicious/dangerous powder, which necessitated the closure of the Embassy (to decontaminate it) and the destruction of important adoption paperwork (also to decontaminate it) — it’s unfortunately, but better safe than sorry, right? Visa interviews were cancelled, families have to replace various parts of their dossiers and are expected to have to spend an extra week or so in China to get this stuff sorted out. Very, very unfortunate, but it isn’t the fault of the US Embassy staff (it’s not like they’ve closed it to annoy APs/PAPs).
This family had JUST enough $$ to complete their adoption — but ZERO contingency funds for unexpected emergencies (like the delays/destruction of paperwork caused by the White Powder):
http://dandj-ouradoptionjourney.blogspot.com/2013/05/on-news.html
So their friends and fellow PAPs are begging for cash, since they don’t have the means to cover this unanticipated expense:
http://doloski.blogspot.com/2013/05/stuck.html
It sucks, it’s sad, it’s not this APs fault — but it’s super-duper irresponsible for the APs to have NO EMERGENCY FUND for , you know, emergencies.
Denise Davis is attempting to sell NAMING RIGHTS to the kids she’s hoping to adopt from Ukraine!!
How can we grab your hearts into helping these little girls? If only you knew what it is like to live in an orphanage. Try living there 5 years or more, being brought directly from a hospital and into the arms of strangers.. Strangers that are not your parents to love you and care for you. Me asking for your help over and over may seem like begging, well you may be right. I beg for this girls, I beg for their freedom, I beg for each of their lives. We have a matching $700 grant we need to raise funds for and we have only raised a little over a $100. Many of you know my family and me from prior adoptions. You know our hearts are there for our children and bringing each of them home where they are loved. Please if possible can you please give these little girls the same opportunity to have a home, a home with us. After the passing of Gennie our home has missed the laughter of a little girl. These girls are not to replace our Gennie but to offer happiness to them and also bring back some little giggles to our hearts. daily we pray to our Lord and during this adoption there has been many prayers. Now we need a miracle in funds, we are short short on the facilitation fees for the second little girl. Please help us not make this tough decision and leave one little one behind. If this were your child would you turn you head and walk away? Please help us during our journey in bringing both girls home.. We leave on Tuesday so only 3 days left to raise these funds.. Donate what you can, even if only a dollar, this will bring us a little closer.. If everyone of my friends donated $10 this would get us fully funded. God Bless and may you pray for our girls this Christmas
CARRIE ANN + KITT for the Davis family — LA|Reece’s Rainbow Adoption Grant Foundation
As the years passed and many miles between them both had married other people and lost touch. In 1989 Denise’s husband Tim had passed away and a few years later while shopping once again they both crossed paths and fell back in love. With Gary being a single parent they raised 6 children who are no…
reecesrainbow.org
Facebook.com/nachalaadopt
Denise Davis (thank goodness!!) didn’t get the $$ to adopt 2 kids:
http://bit.ly/16ISqBA
She let Carrie Ann go? Dang, I was hoping she’d surrender Kitt if it came to that. Denise has another kid with spina bifida, so at least she knows how to handle that condition. With Kitt she’ll have charge of another medically-fragile child with a disease she’s NOT familiar with, whose health and medication regime will need to be carefully monitored. And we all know how THAT same situation turned out with Gennie… 🙁
She’s apparently been having lots of troubles in setting up her travel, but God’s not yet been able to get the message through to her that He DOESN’T want her to proceed with this adoption!
http://bringinghomealittleangel.blogspot.com/2014/12/stolen-purse-delayed-flights-and-pound.html
What I found nauseating about Denise’s announcement is that when they “suddenly” came to the realization that they didn’t have enough money to cover two adoptions, they used a “lottery” system to determine which child they’d adopt. As in, whichever child’s file they were shown first would receive the prize of being chosen by their family. Wise and discerning parents would have made the difficult decision to only adopt one before they ever left the US, because they already knew they didn’t have enough money for two. Instead of leaving their decision to chance, they should have taken the time to thoughtfully examine each child’s age/special need/etc. to determine which child would be the best fit for their family.
Sidebar: Is it horrible of me to think Kitt is the one who lost the lottery, instead of being the “winner”?
At this point, when you said “lottery” my first thought was that she was offering “votes” on “Which kid should I adopt?” in exchange for donations.
And, yes, Kitt IS the loser here. Heaven help her if she’s not as “appreciative” and cuddly as the by-now sainted Gennie. I feel sure Denise won’t hesitate to diagnose her with Nancy Thomas RAD™ based on an online checklist if poor Kitt doesn’t provide her with the emotional gratification Denise feels is her due.
Parents who’ve lost a child to death should NOT be approved to adopt another child of the same gender– nor at all before AT LEAST a year has gone by since the death. And only if they haven’t been in any way at fault in the prior child’s death– whether by commission or omission.
None of these conditions are met by Denise Davis.
Her most recent Facebook update implies that they told Kitt that they were going to be her APs.
“…MERRY CHRISTMAS our little Kitt, she is precious and today we can take photos to send all, she is just the sweetest little girl and told us she prayed for a momma and poppa for her birthday and Christmas. She was so happy…”
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=824635757575259&set=a.101219823250193.2600.100000865262870&type=1
If so, this was extremely irresponsible. Not only are they betting on people giving them enough money to complete this adoption, but that no one on the family court judge’s staff being able to use Google Translate. They have far less certainty than the usual PAPs of getting approval in-country for adoption.
I’m hoping that I’m reading this wrong, for Kitt’s sake.
Nope, you’re not misreading that — Denise is totally messing with that poor kid’s heart! It’s also pretty awful to be plastering pics of NOT YET OFFICIALLY YOUR KID all over the interwebs!
Denise Davis still plans to adopt Carrie Ann…the post she wrote about having to give up Carrie Ann’s file due to not having enough money was a lie. They never released her file, they are on their way to Carrie Ann’s city right now to meet her. Yet at least two agencies now have Carrie Ann listed as “available”. Sounds like a case of blatant FRAUD to me!!! These shady, behind-the-scenes shenanigans have Andrea Roberts and RR written all over them!
Oh good god. Denise is an idiot, little Kitt and Carrie-Ann deserve so much better and whoever signed off on the homestudy and USCIS approval deserves to have their license revoked and/or be fired.
This is a slow-mo train wreck.
Hi Elaina Lawrence,
Serge Z, the allegedly corrup Ukrainian RR facilitator’s blog, has announced that some idiot gave Denise the $9k in facilitation fees that will enable her to adopt both Kitt and Carrie Ann from ukraine;
“Monday, December 22, 2014
Re-Listed! Carrie Ann! FAMILY FOUND!!!
Girl, born 2012
Lumbar spina bifida (myelocele) (post-surgery)
Carrie Ann is relisted as the family previously committed to her cannot adopt her at this time
Carrie Ann
I am updating this as the family that was committed to her and had to let her go because of funds was able to get her referral!!! An anonymous donor wanted to bless Carrie Ann with a family and did so out of the kindness of their hearts!!!
We waited to update till the family was able to get the referral in hand. The family was caught in one of the largest snowstorms to hit and their appointment in the main city was delayed because of it.
THANK YOU to the family that made this possible!!
THANK YOU to the family in country that is now moving forward for BOTH of their girls!!
CONGRATS and GOD BLESS! 🙂
Share”
I sincerely hope and pray the ukrainian courts don’t approve denise to adopt either girl — lest they end up dead like Gennie!
News flash!!!,
I’ve been trying to navigate Denise Davis’s Facebook page, but I can’t find that they’re going to adopt Carrie Ann.
It could be that they traveled to the district capital for legal reasons, and are trying to get back to Kitt’s orphanage. Alternately, I wouldn’t put it past her to visit Carrie Ann even though she’s refused the referral, just to get current photos for illegal photolisting to “help” Carrie Ann “find a forever family”.
I have a dark suspicion that they chose Kitt because she looks more like Gennie. Slo-mo train weck is right, Carlee.
BTW, on her Facebook page she wrote “… I thank my daughter’s Samantha, Chrissie & Makayla for caring for Jake as we traveled to adopt…” Are any of these girls adults, or is she shuffling off her childrearing responsibilities to other children, Duggar-style?
Yes, it is true Denise Davis told Kitt she will be her mommy.
Denise’s daughter Samantha is married with a 5 yo, so it’s probably safe to assume she’s old enough to watch her sibs while the parents are away.
Astrin Ymris, take a closer look at Denise’s Facebook page. On Jan. 1st, she posted a link to their RR support page and announced that they were on their way to “another snowy city”. Someone asked her to elaborate, and she confirmed that they are indeed adopting Carrie Ann.
Newsflash,
I see that! And Denise Davis is VERY hurt that online commenters are so “judgmental” as to criticize her for using illegally-obtained photos for online fundraising. Don’t we know that without such lawbreaking, PAPs like her wouldn’t be able to adopt?
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=830424840329684&set=a.101219823250193.2600.100000865262870&type=1
Given that her last adopted daughter, Gennie, died because Denise neglected to take her to a doctor for treatment of her cystic fibrosis for 27 days after arriving in America, that’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
Denise is back to begging! For carrie Ann. She should NEVER have been given either kid’s referral!!
“Our family has met little Carrie Ann. She is precious but is very ill, she needs to come home. Not saying this out of pity or a ways to recieve donations. I ask for hour prayers, remember when I begged for Gennie and Jake because they were ill and then Gennie died. I am telling you this her back surgery is infected bad, she needs a wound care specialist now. Please pray that we get a court date, I wished the days of waiting were waived, told no. But this I will beg and plead for her. Oh Lord thank you for sending us the Angel Families who helped her. Honestly I have seen SB SCARS but not like this and opened, infected and bleeding. We were told it was from laying on her back 24 -7. God please watch over all these children in these orphanages. It is bad and our heart breaks knowing for two years of her life she suffered so. No child should ever endure this pain ever.
KITT and CARRIE ANN for the Davis family — LA|Reece’s Rainbow Adoption Grant Foundation
As the years passed and many miles between them both had married other people and lost touch. In 1989 Denise’s husband Tim had passed away and a few years later while shopping once again they both crossed paths and fell back in love. With Gary being a single parent they raised 6 children who are no…
reecesrainbow.org”
Carlee,
Yes, I’ve seen her blame Gennie’s death on people who refused to donate to her before. It’s not her HER fault for undertaking an adoption she couldn’t afford, planning on receiving a flood of crowdfunded money, you see. OR for neglecting to get two kids with cystic fibrosis to a nearby clinic specializing in their care on the first business day after their arrival in the country– despite having pleaded for money for months on the grounds that they’d DIE in their home country without such care.
And now she’s pulling the same stunt with poor Carrie Ann! She really has no shame, does she?
The begging by denise in ongoing:
“Preparing for our court date and to bring home both girls Little Carrie Ann’s health is where we need her home immediately so she can receive wound care. Please our girl’s FSP so we can raise the funds to bring them both home.
KITT and CARRIE ANN for the Davis family — LA|Reece’s Rainbow Adoption Grant Foundation
As the years passed and many miles between them both had married other people and lost touch. In 1989 Denise’s husband Tim had passed away and a few years later while shopping once again they both crossed paths and fell back in love. With Gary being a single parent they raised 6 children who are no…
reecesrainbow.org
Share”
Another Ethiopian adoptee has been killed — “Dimples” Qualls, daughter of “professional theraputic parent” Lisa Qualls
http://bit.ly/13DpMj6
To make things even worse, Lisa had exiled Dimples to a ghastly “Ranch” for “Kids” in Montana for 18+ of past 24 months. After excluding her from family vacations, sending her to respite every day after school and all weekend cuz she couldn’t be bothered to deal w/her.
Heartbreaking!
How Awful! Her name is Kalkidan. See here: http://idahostatepolice.blogspot.com/2014/12/fatality-crash-district-one-us95-mp388.html and http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2014/dec/27/teenager-killed-us-highway-95-crash/ and http://www.kxly.com/news/north-idaho-news/1-child-dead-2-adults-injured-in-us-95-car-wreck/30430634
Based on the police reports, Russ lost control of the van on a snowy road, they swerved into another van’s path, which struck the van on the passenger side, causing it to roll over. Everyone was properly belted in at the time.
Dimples/Kalkidan had left the Ranch for Kids a few months back, was attending school and participating in extracurricular activities– and reportedly doing well. I haven’t been able to find out if it was a public school filled with mandated reporters, but she wasn’t being kept isolated. Lisa seemed to be remaining mindful of her responsibilities as parent to “set the tone” for a good relationship, and was actively working on it.
They were on a happy road trip to meet with some of Kalkidan’s friends over the break. From everything I’ve read, it was just a tragic accident that struck just when things were looking up for Kalkidan and the whole family.
What a horrible, heartbreaking thing to happen.
The fatal accident does appear to be just that — an awful accident, with no suggestion that Dimples/Kalkidan’s adoptive parents *intentionally* caused her death. That much is clear.
My issue is with how the Qualls treated Dimples — like a second class citizen. She was the only kid excluded from the family vacation:
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/a-different-kind-of-vacation/
Amom Lisa acknowledged that Dimples THRIVED on individual attention — that she couldn’t provide due to having SO DAMN MANY OTHER KIDS.
Ten siblings = little attention for Dimples. Lisa pledges to spend a few minutes of alone time with Dimples each day:
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/wanting-those-loving-feelings/
Most of the other kids were homeschooled – Dimples got send to “regular” school and amom Lisa thoughtfully found paid respite providers to watch Dimples after school, weekends, etc.
How is a kid supposed to “attach” to a family she spends NO time with??
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/the-downward-descent/
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/adoption/well-have-the-coffee-pot-on
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/god-with-us-when-christmas-eve-is-not-as-we-expected/
Lisa them decided to SEND DIMPLES OUT OF STATE FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS. Because a kid who thrives on parental attention will somehow benefit from NONE AT ALL?!
The Qualls claim Dimples had RAD (severe mental illness) yet exiled her to an unlicensed “ranch” where appropriate treatment (read: from a state-licensed health professional) wasn’t available on site:
http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/when-the-train-left-the-station/
My heart breaks for this poor kid — and I’m horrified that Lisa Qualls makes her living writing about “hard places” kids and offering support to other adopters (despite zero formal qualifications to do so).
Lisa’s parenting strategy for Dimples was effectively “spend no time with her, banish her to “respite” and “ranches” for “kids — so awful!!
True! But in the last few months of Dimples’ life, Lisa had finally woken up to the fact that if you adopt a child, you’re responsible for providing what they need even if it’s inconvenient for you. I’ll acknowledge that.
In the end, I think Dimples is a casualty of the Rescue Adoption meme and the unregulated ‘Wild West’ of international adoption. Looking at Dimples’ age, health and the date of her adoption, it seems very probable that she was a trafficked child, who had never needed to be “rescued” in the first place!
Even if Dimples was legitimately available for international adoption, the Qualls never should have been approved to have adopted her. She was an out-of-birth-order placement, and the Qualls had just adopted two(!) unrelated toddlers a year before, in addition to all the other kids in the family. A responsible social worker would have nixed the home study. An alert USCIS would have denied immigration approval to child collectors.
Ethiopia seems to have dropped the ball at their end, too, but I don’t know enough to say if it was because of inadequate regulation or inability to enforce the regulations they did have. Perhaps both.
@Carlee: For all their faults, I wouldn’t judge this family for not homeschooling Dimples. Given the strained relationship, it seems like a wise choice. Were she in foster care, rather than adopted internationally, the family wouldn’t be *allowed* to homeschool her. Too much risk to a vulnerable child.
As a homeschooling family (just with bio kids, we don’t have adopted or foster kids), I can tell you that homeschooling works only if you have a strong bond with your kid. I know other bio families that either opt out of homeschooling because the parent-child dynamic is not one that is conducive to homeschooling.
Back in the day when we were foster parents (one girl roughly Dimples’ age), it was hard enough to help them with their homework. When children don’t feel attached to their parents, even basics like this can be hard. It was so sad and frustrating because the kids came to us many years behind academically. Our older foster daughter was much better served by attending an after-school homework help session, while the younger one (9) did seem to respond well.
Given what the mom has disclosed about her relationship with her adoptive daughter, Dimples was likely well-served by attending a regular school. Though she, she was NOT well-served by joined a very large family that could not give her the love and attention she needed.
To say she was killed implies some malice on the part of the parents. The girl was properly belted in, the parents were both in the car (and injured), and the road conditions were slick from snow. This was a tragic accident for all involved. It has nothing to do with her being an adoptee or Ethiopian.
http://www.gofundme.com/jee1dc
I guess begging for handouts is the ‘done thing’ in adoption circles — it’s simply gross and inappropriate. Reece’s Rainbow’s Tommy Musser & Adam Mitchcell’s adopters also passed the hat around after the kids died.
it is gross.
it is inappropriate to PROFIT from a child’s UNTIMELY death
if you can afford to have/adopt a zillion kids (like the Qualls), you should certainly be able to buy yourself another car… and, oh, wait… isn’t that what INSURANCE is for??
Why, yes, yes it it. So the Qualls may be getting 1) an insurance payout, to buy themselves a replacement car and 2) $33k from strangers who donated to buy them a car, that the QUalls can keep and do whatever they like with.
Grooooooss!
To be fair, states vary as to how much auto insurance residents are required to carry. I can see the Qualls having the absolute legal minimum, and trusting in “God to provide” if something went wrong… through the means of kind-hearted crowdfunders, of course.
I Googled– in Idaho “collision insurance” which covers repairs/replacement of your own vehicle is optional. A lot of people let collision coverage on older vehicles lapse, which can be smart if you put the money you WOULD have paid for coverage into your emergency fund instead. If you don’t bother to maintain an emergency fund… well, that’s not smart at all.
Renee and Alan of Reece’s Rainbow infamy have adopted NINE high-needs, special needs kids within the past couple of years, using mostly other people’s money.
And yet have been approved to adopt TWO MORE!
They’ve enlisted a 17 yo to beg for cash on their behalf:
http://egpg3.blogspot.com/2015/01/urgent-envelope-fundraiser.html
Kids unlikely to ever live independently. How is this not a group home?
http://covenantbuilders.blogspot.com/2014/04/urgent-need.html?m=1
What idiot social worker approved them?
Who can this stupidity be reported to??
Carlee,
I noticed how the blogger was careful to obscure Renee Alan’s identity– could it be that word is getting out about the Child Collectors, making people less likely to fund their mental illness?
I recognize the photo of the blonde girl– Denise Davis had her targeted at one time, but she had to back off for some reason.
You’d think that USCIS would take an interest, since they don’t want to let adults into the country who won’t be able to support themselves, but apparently they’re okay with an infinite number of perpetual dependents coming in through Rescue Adoption. Healthy kids with Latino birth family waiting for them can’t be allowed in because of all the “resources” they’ll consume while growing up, but apparently white PAPs who plan to bring in high needs kids by the truckload can’t be denied. It’s a crazy system.