Haiti "birth land" Tour

This is meant to be a feel-good article about Dillon adoptive parents for the holidays, but we will point out the issues…

After the Headlines: Adopted twins return to Haiti [Canton Rep.com 12/29/11 by Charita Goshay]

(1)So-called reason behind picking Haiti as the country to adopt from

“The Abramses adopted the twins through Dillon International, a faith-based agency in Tulsa, Okla, and made arrangements for the trip through the agency’s “birth land tours.”

“One of the things that drew us to Haiti is, it would be easier for (adopted) children to keep a connection with their home country,” Chris Abrams explained.”

They supposedly want to keep a connection with the children’s home country, BUT they just now visit Haiti for the first time, eight years after they adopt.

“The 9-year-old twins and their adoptive parents, Chris and Melissa Abrams, recently returned to Port-au-Prince for the first time since the girls were 8 months old.”

(2) The situation with the birthmother, birthfather, siblings and extended family

Birthmother
They state that the reason for visiting NOW is “He noted that the idea to visit Haiti emerged when they learned the girls’ birth mother was inquiring about them at the Rainbow of Love orphanage from which they were adopted.

“It got us to thinking, we hadn’t heard anything about her during the earthquake,” Abrams said. “We sent her some information, but we decided we needed to do something more. The girls needed to meet her.”

Seriously? It is end of 2011 and you hadn’t inquired if she lived through the earthquake? Why was she inquiring about the children at the orphanage-did she know they had been adopted? How often have you communicated with her? Ever? It doesn’t sound like it.

“Coincidentally, the orphanage is operated by Gladys Thomas, a Haitian and McKinley High School graduate who earned her nursing degree in northeast Ohio.

“They were curious about their birth family,” Melissa Abrams said. “They were also able to see some of the beauty of Haiti. They swam in the ocean, and we went up into the mountains. We wanted to give them a chance to connect to the culture and the people there.”

“For me, it’s an identity piece,” her husband added. “No matter how good of an experience they have here, they obviously come from a different place and background. Even though at 9, they’re not fully able to get it, I want them to know there’s a family tree.”

Because their birth mother speaks only French, Faith and Hope had to communicate with her through an interpreter.

“She didn’t really say a lot, but she hugged us,” Hope recalled.”

Why do you think she didn’t say a lot? Was she in shock? Did you even inquire?

Birthfather

They thought he was dead, but surprise, he is not and the story they were given BY Dillon doesn’t come close to the truth.

“While there, the girls met their birth mother, who survived the earthquake, and learned that the birth father who was assumed dead, was alive and well.”

“The Abramses didn’t know the girls’ birth father was still alive until he arrived to meet them with their mother. Chris Abrams explained that when their mother became pregnant, their father left to find work in the Dominican Republic.

“Meeting him was a bit of a surprise,” Chris Abrams said. “All of a sudden we found out, this was dad. It was pretty exciting.””

Exciting? You DO realize that you were lied to and have likely been telling your daughters that he has been dead for eight years, right?

Siblings and extended family

“In addition to their birth parents, the twins also met nieces and nephews, and learned they have three other siblings who were adopted by families in France.”

Will there be further contact? Did you get contact information about the other siblings? It doesn’t seem to have any meaning to this family. It doesn’t sound like it from the following passage:

“A GIFT
“This trip was a gift from God in so many ways,” Melissa Abrams said. “For Faith and Hope to meet their birth parents before it was too late, and see how beautiful Haiti the country and the people are; for their birth parents to see how happy and loved the girls are and to have peace; for Chris and I to see how God provided financially for the trip; how at peace we were about going knowing God was in control and felt confirmation all along the way.

“My faith has grown during this adventure.”

She said that while the girls might be too young to grasp the magnitude of being able to meet their birth parents despite an international adoption, “they will later in life.”

This sounds like the adoptive parents think they have completed some one-time task of taking the children to Haiti and for once introducing them to their parents–one of whom is surprisingly alive. Why at age nine do they NOT understand the “magnitude” of meeting their parents?

I guess some people may feel good after reading this, but Rally feels sick that this trip seemed to be a one-time identity trip with seemingly no further contact with the original family. It seemed to fulfill some need for confirmation of the adoptive parents’ actions instead of truly connecting their children with their family. Since the birthmother did not speak, I find it presumptious that they feel she has “peace” with the entire situation. Exactly WHY were these children offered for international adoption in the first place when they had both a mother and father? That doesn’t really fit the definition of “orphan” for the issuance of a visa.

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