International Adoption Disruption Exposé UPDATED-Nicole and Calvin Eason

By on 9-09-2013 in Disruption/Dissolution, How could you? Hall of Shame, Illinois, International Adoption, Nicole and Calvin Eason

International Adoption Disruption Exposé UPDATED-Nicole and Calvin Eason

We have tracked international adoption disruptions since 2010. Our survey can be found at this link. Now an 18-month investigation delves into quantities, specific cases and the process of how many children are re-homed. Two of the five parts in the series were released today. Anther articles and interview was released.

Disruptions are necessary. “Forever Family” is a marketing tool. The majority of adoptions are not conducted under Hague regulations and those that are only require 10 measly hours of preparation with no extra preparation for families adopting special needs children.  Honest information is not shared with prospective parents and matches are not thoughtfully made. We have seen a “first come, first serve” attitude  in matching parents with special needs children over the last few years. This is not in the best interest of the children.

The adoption industry does not want to acknowledge disruption nor do they want to help families or adoptees. Willingness to report cases to authorities? Nope. Often the response by an agency is to hang up the phone on the adoptive parent. No paper trail = no need to report a disruption. The adoption industry can move on unabated.

The US State Department really doesn’t want anything to do with it, but Russia now is demanding followup. I am not holding my breath that things will change.

Part 1-The Network

“Todd and Melissa Puchalla struggled for more than two years to raise Quita, the troubled teenager they’d adopted from Liberia. When they decided to give her up, they found new parents to take her in less than two days – by posting an ad on the Internet.

Nicole and Calvin Eason, an Illinois couple in their 30s, saw the ad and a picture of the smiling 16-year-old. They were eager to take Quita, even though the ad warned that she had been diagnosed with severe health and behavioral problems. In emails, Nicole Eason assured Melissa Puchalla that she could handle the girl.

“People that are around me think I am awesome with kids,” Eason wrote.

A few weeks later, on Oct. 4, 2008, the Puchallas drove six hours from their Wisconsin home to Westville, Illinois. The handoff took place at the Country Aire Mobile Home Park, where the Easons lived in a trailer.

No attorneys or child welfare officials came with them. The Puchallas simply signed a notarized statement declaring these virtual strangers to be Quita’s guardians. The visit lasted just a few hours. It was the first and the last time the couples would meet.

To Melissa Puchalla, the Easons “seemed wonderful.” Had she vetted them more closely, she might have discovered what Reuters would learn:

• Child welfare authorities had taken away both of Nicole Eason’s biological children years earlier. After a sheriff’s deputy helped remove the Easons’ second child, a newborn baby boy, the deputy wrote in his report that the “parents have severe psychiatric problems as well with violent tendencies.”

• The Easons each had been accused by children they were babysitting of sexual abuse, police reports show. They say they did nothing wrong, and neither was charged.

• The only official document attesting to their parenting skills – one purportedly drafted by a social worker who had inspected the Easons’ home – was fake, created by the Easons themselves.

On Quita’s first night with the Easons, her new guardians told her to join them in their bed, Quita says today. Nicole slept naked, she says.

Within a few days, the Easons stopped responding to Melissa Puchalla’s attempts to check on Quita, Puchalla says. When she called the school that Quita was supposed to attend, an administrator told Puchalla that the teenager had never shown up

Quita wasn’t at the trailer park, either. The Easons had packed up their purple Chevy truck and driven off with her, leaving behind a pile of trash, a pair of blue mattresses and two puppies chained in their yard, authorities later found.

The Puchallas had rescued Quita from an orphanage in Liberia, brought her to America and then signed her over to a couple they barely knew. Days later, they had no idea what had become of her.

When she arrived in the United States, Quita says, she “was happy … coming to a nicer place, a safer place. It didn’t turn out that way,” she says today. “It turned into a nightmare.”

The teenager had been tossed into America’s underground market for adopted children, a loose Internet network where desperate parents seek new homes for kids they regret adopting. Like Quita, now 21, these children are often the casualties of international adoptions gone sour.

Through Yahoo and Facebook groups, parents and others advertise the unwanted children and then pass them to strangers with little or no government scrutiny, sometimes illegally, a Reuters investigation has found. It is a largely lawless marketplace. Often, the children are treated as chattel, and the needs of parents are put ahead of the welfare of the orphans they brought to America.

The practice is called “private re-homing,” a term typically used by owners seeking new homes for their pets. Based on solicitations posted on one of eight similar online bulletin boards, the parallels are striking.

“Born in October of 2000 – this handsome boy, ‘Rick’ was placed from India a year ago and is obedient and eager to please,” one ad for a child read.

A woman who said she is from Nebraska offered an 11-year-old boy she had adopted from Guatemala. “I am totally ashamed to say it but we do truly hate this boy!” she wrote in a July 2012 post.

Another parent advertised a child days after bringing her to America. “We adopted an 8-year-old girl from China… Unfortunately, We are now struggling having been home for 5 days.” The parent asked that others share the ad “with anyone you think may be interested.”

Reuters analyzed 5,029 posts from a five-year period on one Internet message board, a Yahoo group. On average, a child was advertised for re-homing there once a week. Most of the children ranged in age from 6 to 14 and had been adopted from abroad – from countries such as Russia and China, Ethiopia and Ukraine. The youngest was 10 months old.

After learning what Reuters found, Yahoo acted swiftly. Within hours, it began shutting down Adopting-from-Disruption, the six-year-old bulletin board. A spokeswoman said the activity in the group violated the company’s terms-of-service agreement. The company subsequently took down five other groups that Reuters brought to its attention.

A similar forum on Facebook, Way Stations of Love, remains active. A Facebook spokeswoman says the page shows “that the Internet is a reflection of society, and people are using it for all kinds of communications and to tackle all sorts of problems, including very complicated issues such as this one.”

The Reuters investigation found that some children who were adopted and later re-homed have endured severe abuse. Speaking publicly about her experience for the first time, one girl adopted from China and later sent to a second home said she was made to dig her own grave. Another re-homed child, a Russian girl, recounted how a boy in one house urinated on her after the two had sex; she was 13 at the time and was re-homed three times in six months.

“This is a group of children who are not being raised by biological parents, who have been relocated from a foreign country” and who sometimes don’t even speak English, says Michael Seto, an expert on the sexual abuse of children at the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group in Canada. “You’re talking about a population that appears to be especially vulnerable to exploitation.”

Giving away a child in America can be surprisingly easy. Legal adoptions must be handled through the courts, and prospective parents must be vetted. But there are ways around such oversight. Children can be sent to new families quickly through a basic “power of attorney” document – a notarized statement declaring the child to be in the care of another adult.

In many cases, this flexibility is good for the child. It allows parents experiencing hard times to send their kids to stay with a trusted relative, for instance. But with the rise of the Internet, parents are increasingly able to find complete strangers willing to take in unwanted children. By obtaining a power of attorney, the new guardians are able to enroll a child in school or secure government benefits – actions that can effectively mask changes of custody that take place illegally outside the purview of child welfare authorities.”

There is one potential safeguard: an agreement among the 50 U.S. states, the District of Columbia and the U.S. Virgin Islands called the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, or ICPC. The agreement requires that if a child is to be transferred outside of the family to a new home in a different state, parents notify authorities in both states. That way, prospective parents can be vetted.

The compact has been adopted by every state and is codified in various statutes that give it the force of law. Even so, these laws are seldom enforced, in part because the compact remains largely unknown to law enforcement authorities. Each state is also left to decide how to punish those who give or take children in violations of the compact’s provisions. Some states attach criminal sanctions – generally, misdemeanors. Other states aren’t explicit about how violations should be handled.

A child might be removed from the new home if an illegal re-homing is discovered. But seldom is either set of parents punished. No state, federal or international laws even acknowledge the existence of re-homing.

International adoptees are especially susceptible to being re-homed. At least 70 percent of the children offered on the Yahoo bulletin board, Adopting-from-Disruption, were advertised as foreign-born.

Americans have adopted about 243,000 children from other countries since the late 1990s. But unlike parents who take in American-born children through the U.S. foster-care system, many adults adopting from overseas receive little or no training. It isn’t unusual for the children they bring home to have undisclosed physical, emotional or behavioral problems.

No authority tracks what happens after a child is brought to America, so no one knows how often international adoptions fail. The U.S. government estimates that domestic adoptions fail at a rate ranging from “about 10 to 25 percent.” If international adoptions fail with about the same frequency, then more than 24,000 foreign adoptees are no longer with the parents who brought them to the United States. Some experts say the percentage could be higher given the lack of support for those parents.

A U.S. federal law, passed in 2000, requires states to document cases in which they take custody of children from failed international adoptions. The State Department then collects that information. In addition, adoption agencies are supposed to report to the department certain types of failed international adoptions that come to their attention.

But many states say they are unable to keep track of the cases because their computer systems are antiquated. And the State Department won’t disclose the number of failed international adoptions that are reported by adoption agencies.

“Because the State Department is not the authoritative source of information regarding dissolutions and is not always notified when adoptions are dissolved, we do not provide statistics,” a State Department official said.

The failure to keep track of what happens after children are brought to America troubles some foreign governments. So do instances of neglect or abuse that become known. Often cited is the case of the Tennessee woman who returned a 7-year-old boy she adopted from a Russian orphanage. The woman had cared for him only six months when she put the boy on a flight to Moscow in April 2010. He was accompanied by a typed letter that read in part, “I no longer wish to parent this child.”

Late last year, Russia banned adoptions by Americans amid a broader diplomatic dispute. Other nations, including Guatemala and China, have also made the process more difficult. As a result, the number of foreign-born children adopted into the United States has declined from a peak of almost 23,000 in 2004 to fewer than 10,000 a year today.

The recent obstacles to bringing new kids to America could make the Internet child exchange even more appealing. A participant in one online bulletin board characterized the re-homing groups as “the ‘latest country’ to adopt from.”

Other participants wrote about openly defying government efforts, foreign and domestic, to keep track of children from failed adoptions (also sometimes called “disrupted” adoptions).

“We adopted two children from Russia. We have disrupted our daughter. What business of the Russian government?” one parent wrote in July 2012. “We never let anyone know about the disruption.” (Russia is among the nations that seek periodic updates on children adopted from there.)

Parents who offer their children on the Internet say they have limited options. Residential treatment centers can be expensive, and some parents say social services won’t help them; if they do contact authorities, they fear being investigated for abuse or neglect.

The problems – and the isolation parents feel – can prove overwhelming. On the bulletin boards, parents talk of children becoming abusive and violent, terrorizing them and other kids in the household.

“People get in over their heads,” says Tim Stowell, an adoptive parent who created the Facebook group last year. “The main thing is to offer hope for families that have no hope… I also knew there were people looking to adopt kids from those situations, so I wanted to get those people together, kind of like a clearinghouse.”

Not until January 2011 did any official responsible for overseeing the U.S. child-protection compact call attention to the dangers of the online network. In a nationwide alert to state child welfare authorities, an administrator for the ICPC warned that adoptive parents were sending children to live with people they met on the Internet. The practice, the official wrote, is “placing children in grave danger.”

The official who sent the memo, Stephen Pennypacker, says he issued the warning after a child welfare worker in one state noticed cases of kids being sent to new parents without the approval of authorities.

In the alert, Pennypacker asked that such cases be documented and reported to the national non-profit organization that oversees the ICPC. He says he also told child protection officials in each state to alert their attorneys general, local police and social workers “so that people could be on the lookout.”

Despite the urgency of the request, Pennypacker says there has been no response.

As part of its investigation, Reuters reviewed thousands of pages of records – many of them confidential – from court cases, police reports and child welfare agencies. Reporters examined ads for children and emails between parents, and also identified eight Internet groups in which members discussed, facilitated or engaged in re-homing. Reporters then analyzed thousands of posts from the group that Yahoo subsequently shut down, Adopting-from-Disruption.

Some participants in that group both offered and sought children for re-homing, sometimes simultaneously. Others looked to offload more than one child at a time. Some sought new parents for children who already had been re-homed. A 10-year-old boy from the Philippines and a 13-year-old boy from Brazil each were advertised three times. So was a girl from Haiti. She was offered for re-homing when she was 14, 15 and 16 years old.

In an interview earlier this year, Nicole Eason – the woman who disappeared with Quita – referred to private re-homing as “non-legalized adoption.”

“The meaning of non-legalized is, ‘Hey, can I have your baby?'” Eason said.

She discussed why she was so motivated to be a mother. “It makes me feel important,” she said.

And she described her parenting style this way: “Dude, just be a little mean, OK? … I’ll threaten to throw a knife at your ass, I will. I’ll chase you with a hose.

“I won’t leave burns on you. I won’t leave marks on you. I’m not going to send you with bruises to school,” she said. “Make sure you got three meals a day, make sure you have a place to live, OK? If you need medication for your psychological problems, I’ve got you there. You need therapy? You need a hug? You need a kiss? Somebody to tickle with you? I got you. OK? But this world is not meant to be perfect. And I just don’t understand why people think it is.”

The story of the Easons and the girls and boys they have taken through re-homing illustrates the many ways in which the U.S. government fails to protect children of adoptions gone awry. It shows how virtually anyone determined to get a child can do so with ease, and how children brought to America can be abruptly discarded and recycled.

A CHILD FOR FREE

The night before leaving Quita with the Easons, Melissa Puchalla showed her daughter a picture of the couple. Like Quita, Calvin Eason is black. Nicole is white, and Puchalla thought Quita might thrive in a mixed-race household.

The Puchallas also say they were giving up the teenager to protect their other children. Quita was unpredictable and violent, Melissa says, and her siblings had grown frightened of her. “There was no other option,” Melissa says today.

Puchalla assured her daughter that the Easons were “very good people,” Quita remembers. “But I was like judging in my mind: ‘How do you know?'” Quita says today. She says she spent the night crying.

The Easons were elated. They were about to get a child, for free.

Part of the allure of re-homing is that the process is far cheaper than formal adoptions. Adopting from a foreign country can cost tens of thousands of dollars. Taking custody through re-homing often costs nothing. In fact, taking a child may enable the new family to claim a tax deduction and draw government benefits. The Easons view re-homing as a way around a prying government, and a way to take a child inexpensively.

“If you don’t want to pay $35,000 for a kid,” Nicole Eason says today, “you take your chances.”

For Quita, the drive to the Eason place was a blur. But she remembers vividly when her adoptive father, Todd Puchalla, stopped in front of a mobile home with an overgrown lawn. Some of the trailers were well-maintained. This one, Quita thought, looked like a junkyard.

From the picture her mother had shown her, Quita recognized the Easons immediately. Both were large, well over 200 pounds, and Calvin was tall – about 6-foot-2. But what first caught the Puchallas’ attention was the tube coming out of Calvin’s neck a few inches beneath his chin. It was from a tracheostomy, a surgical procedure to alleviate a sleep disorder.

“We were a little standoffish about him because he has a trach,” Melissa Puchalla recalls. “But they were warm, and they were caring. They seemed kind.”

Today, Melissa Puchalla says, “Maybe a red light should’ve went off – too good to be true. But at that point, I was walking in such a fog.”

Not only were the Easons willing to take Quita, but they would gladly do so through the simple device of a power of attorney document, about 400 words long. The paper is signed by the old parents and the new guardians, and witnessed by a notary. As happened in Quita’s case, no lawyers or government authorities are involved. The document is filed nowhere; it functions, in essence, as a receipt. Such agreements fail to satisfy the ICPC when custody of the child is exchanged across state lines and authorities in both states aren’t involved. But that hasn’t stopped some parents from handling transfers this way.

Not long after the Puchallas arrived with Quita, the Easons presented a cake. “Welcome home Quita” was written in orange frosting.

Nicole also had a card for Melissa. Inside were printed these words: “I have faith that you’re going to come out of this experience with more wisdom and resilience than you ever thought possible.”

Melissa helped Quita unpack and hugged her goodbye. Everything would be fine, Melissa assured her. Melissa also devised a code: Quita would say “I love asparagus” over the phone if she felt in danger. (Quita didn’t use the code, Melissa says.)

As the Puchallas drove away, Melissa sobbed. She calls the decision “the hardest thing we’ve ever done in our lives.” Quita still can’t reconcile it. “How would you give me up when you brought me to be yours?” she asks.

In the days that followed, two puppies scampered through the trailer, gifts from the Easons to Quita. The dogs lifted the teenager’s spirits, but they weren’t housebroken and no one cleaned up after them. No one did the dishes, either, or the laundry.

More troubling, Quita says, was that the Easons took her into their bed: “They call me in there to sleep … to lay in the bed with them.” In bed, “Nicole used to be naked and stuff. It was not right to me.”

The sleeping arrangements Quita describes are consistent with the experience of another child the Easons took in. Nicole and Calvin both say that no child they took in ever slept in their bed.

A MISSING CHILD

Within days, the Easons had stopped answering Melissa Puchalla’s calls or returning her emails, Puchalla says. They attached a makeshift camper to the truck bed of their purple Chevy S-10, packed most of their belongings and left the state. Riding along was a friend of the Easons, a man on parole in Illinois for armed robbery.

When Melissa Puchalla called the school Quita was supposed to attend, she talked with an administrator who then contacted state child protection officials. Although Puchalla had signed over custody of Quita, she says she felt obligated to ensure Quita was safe.

Authorities, including police, subsequently went to the mobile home park in Westville. A neighbor told a child welfare official that before the Easons left, Quita had told the neighbor’s daughter that the Easons would be heading to upstate New York to visit Nicole’s mother.

The puppies, left chained in the yard, were retrieved by animal protection officers.

As authorities searched for Quita, they discovered information that could have precluded the Easons from taking custody of the teenager, if the proper officials had been involved, adoption experts say.

Illinois authorities determined that the Easons had fabricated a document they provided to the Puchallas called a “home study.” It purported to be from a social worker who had visited their home and done background checks of the couple. Actually, Nicole had found a sample document on the Internet and filled it out herself. Some of the information was true; the rest was fiction.

“Quita Puchalla is missing as is the Eason family,” reads a confidential report by the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services. The internal report was dated Oct. 20, 2008, 16 days after the Puchallas had dropped Quita at the Easons.

“The Easons faked their home study,” the report says. “The Easons are suspected of using the disrupted adoptions of out of country children… Because there are other states involved, licensing issues and possible public aid fraud as well as a missing child, this matter may involve the FBI at some point.”

llinois officials did share their findings with the local sheriff’s office and with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Authorities then contacted the New York State Police, who located the Easons’ truck in Stephentown, New York. It was parked outside a house where Nicole’s mother lived.

When police went to the home on Oct. 21, they found Nicole, Calvin and Quita. The man convicted of armed robbery who had traveled with the Easons to New York wasn’t there.

Later that day, investigators separately interviewed the Easons and Quita. Reports show that the teenager said the Easons had pornography in their house. Police took Quita to a homeless shelter; the next day, she was put on a bus. She was heading back to Wisconsin, by herself, to the parents who had given her up not three weeks before.

Taking Quita from the Easons and returning her to the Puchallas was the extent of the response by authorities.

New York State Police concluded that the Easons had committed no crimes in their jurisdiction. Illinois authorities took no legal action, and neither did officials in Wisconsin. No one did anything to prevent the Easons from taking a child again.

Hundreds of other adoptive parents were seeking new homes for their unwanted children through Internet message boards like those that had featured Quita. Nicole Eason knew how the child exchange worked. She would tap it again after losing Quita, much as she had used it before.

One of the first times, Eason had gone by the screen name Big Momma. The custody transfer took place in a hotel parking lot just off the highway, and the man who went with her to get the 10-year-old boy would later be sentenced to federal prison. His crime: trading child pornography.

Americans use the Internet to abandon children adopted from overseas

[Reuters 9/6/13 by Megan Twohey,Ryan McNeill, Robin Respaut, Zachary Goelman and Elizabeth Dilts]

Interesting chart at same link as above
assembled By Ryan McNeill, Robin Respaut and Megan Twohey

“Created in September 2007, a Yahoo group called Adopting-from-Disruption was a place where struggling parents sought support from one another.

Some also used the group as a clearinghouse for unwanted children.

For an investigation into how parents use the Internet to offload adopted children, Reuters analyzed more than 5,000 messages posted on the forum over a five-year period, September 2007 to September 2012. During that time, the group was one of the most accessible Internet forums for adoptive parents seeking new homes for their children.

After Reuters shared its findings with Yahoo, the company acted quickly to shut down the group. Reuters identified more than 500 members who particpated at least once during the five-year time period. Just before it was closed, it had 184 members.

The information gleaned from posts on the group leaves some questions unanswered. Some advertisements for children contained limited information – for example, the age or sex of the child is missing. That means Reuters may have accounted for some children more than once.

Even so, the information in the posts provides a clear indication of the expanse of the Internet child exchange and many particulars about the children offered on it.”

Part 2-The Dangers

“Online, she called herself Big Momma; he went by the name lovethemcute. And in the summer of 2006, housemates Nicole Eason and Randy Winslow were surfing the Internet with a common objective.

Each was looking for children.

Winslow – lovethemcute – was 41, balding and paunchy. He swapped pictures of naked children and would later spend time in a chat room called baby&toddlerlove, where he described himself as a “lil boylover,” court documents show. There, he would graphically boast of molesting boys and explain how to keep the abuse quiet: “Just have to raise them to think its fine and not to tell anyone,” he wrote in a chat with an undercover federal agent. “What is done in the family stays in the family.”

Eason – Big Momma – was about to turn 28. She had moved to Illinois from two states where authorities had taken away her biological children years earlier. In one report, authorities noted that a child she and friends were watching had died in her care.

Living away from her husband, Calvin, and with Winslow in the Illinois town of Tilton, Eason wanted to be a mother again. A few hours on an Internet bulletin board were all she would need to find a new child.

On July 14, 2006, Eason connected online with Glenna Mueller, a Wisconsin mother ready to give up a 10-year-old boy she had adopted. Mueller, 46, was once a licensed daycare provider. Struggling in a second marriage, she largely supported herself by collecting government subsidies for the seven children she adopted. She had taken the 10-year-old about three years earlier. Now, his tantrums were too much, Mueller told Eason.

“I couldn’t stand to look at him anymore,” Mueller says today. “I wanted this child gone.”

That’s when Mueller turned to ConsideringDisruptinganAdoption, a Yahoo group for parents struggling to raise the children they adopted. (After Reuters asked Yahoo about the group, which has been active for nine years, the company shut it down for violating Yahoo’s terms of service.) Most of the children mentioned on such bulletin boards come from overseas. Mueller’s son – an African-American boy – had been adopted out of the U.S. foster care system. On the site, she posted a description of the boy and her contact information. Almost immediately, Eason reached out.

Early that July morning, the two began exchanging emails, and Mueller sent Eason a picture of the boy. “He is ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!” Eason replied minutes later. She quickly added: “Randy wants to know if u would like a visit today?”

By that afternoon, Eason and Winslow were heading north, driving five hours from Illinois to Appleton, Wisconsin, where Mueller lived. They met in a hotel parking lot just off the highway, and Mueller brought the boy.

In an email, Eason had told Mueller that they need not involve a lawyer. No child welfare officials were notified, either. Along with the boy’s birth certificate, Mueller handed Nicole a note: Eason and Winslow had her permission to care for her son.

Mueller knew little about the couple. She wasn’t certain where or if Eason or Winslow worked, or if they were married; she knew nothing about Eason’s two biological children having been taken away, or of Winslow’s affinity for young boys; she wasn’t even sure of their address. She did know they were willing to take a child she could no longer stomach, and that was enough.

“I was desperate and sick to death of it,” Mueller says of caring for the 10-year-old, whose name is withheld because Reuters could not reach him. “And I’m like, ‘You know what? Take him for a visit. Let me know.'”

After less than an hour outside the Fairfield Inn, Eason and Winslow drove off with a young boy, a commodity in America’s underground market for discarded adopted children.

As nations around the world make adopting overseas more difficult for Americans, the U.S. government has taken no measures to restrict informal “private re-homings,” custody transfers of unwanted children that often start in online bulletin boards, a Reuters investigation has found.

The unregulated nature of this market makes it especially dangerous. Because the government doesn’t oversee the bulletin boards, people like Randy Winslow can easily gain custody of a child, without authorities ever knowing. Scrutinizing those who want children is often left to parents who are eager to get rid of the kids.

“I would have given her away to a serial killer, I was so desperate,” one mother wrote in a March 2012 post about re-homing her 12-year-old daughter.

“There’s hundreds of people looking for new homes for kids,” Mueller says of those who use the online bulletin boards. One participant referred to the re-homing forums as “‘farms’ in which to select children.”

Many of the online posts say the unwanted children have physical or mental disabilities. In the group Reuters analyzed, more than half were described as having some sort of special need. About 18 percent were said to have a history that included sexual or physical abuse.

Such descriptions could serve as a beacon for predators. “If you advertise details of things like their substance abuse or sexually acting out, that’s waving a red flag,” says Michael Seto, an expert on the sexual abuse of children at the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group in Canada.

Especially at risk are children described as troubled and lacking a consistent parental figure, says Eric Ostrov, a Chicago-based forensic psychologist who evaluates sex offenders. Those depictions, Ostrov says, would be a “tremendous lure.”

The great majority of children on the bulletin boards fit that profile. Most were adopted from overseas and brought to America. But children born in the United States can end up in the underground child exchange, too. The case of the 10-year-old taken by Eason and Winslow illustrates how easily parents will turn children over to strangers met online.

“Nowadays, people are searching out other people,” Nicole Eason said in an interview. “That way, nobody’s judging nobody.”

NICOLE’S DAUGHTER

In early 2000, six years before picking up Glenna Mueller’s son in the hotel parking lot, Nicole Eason came to the attention of child welfare authorities in Massachusetts.

Eason, then 21, had taken her biological baby daughter to a hospital in the city of Pittsfield. Doctors at Berkshire Medical Center determined that the girl, 9 months old, had a broken femur “for which the parents had no explanation,” court records show. “A full skeletal X-ray” was done, and “two old fractures were discovered that were in different stages of healing,” according to court records. “The parents had never sought medical attention for those fractures.”

Rebecca Kickery, a former friend of Nicole’s, says she remembers the incident that put the girl in the hospital. She says she told a child welfare worker what she witnessed.

The baby was “chasing her mom in the walker,” Kickery says, and Nicole Eason “was cussing at her. She grabbed the tray of the walker and yanked her… When she yanked her, her daughter’s leg went one way and her body went the other, and I heard it cracking like you crack a stick. And I just thought, this poor little girl.”

In an interview with Reuters, Nicole Eason said no such incident took place.

A report by Massachusetts officials, dated Jan. 3, 2000, documents the baby’s injuries. Subsequent court records show that “the child was removed from the parents at that time.” Officials cited “neglect.”

A month later, on Feb. 5, 2000, Nicole and Calvin Eason were at Kickery’s Pittsfield apartment with friends. Kickery had asked her sister to watch her 18-month-old son, Austin.

That afternoon, Nicole later told police, the group was playing cards while Austin and his young cousin took a bath. Nicole said she heard a child crying in the bathroom and “thought that the water might have been cold because God knows how long they were in there.”

Nicole went to the bathroom and saw Austin lying face down in the water, the police report says. She alerted Kickery’s sister and left the bathroom without trying to pull the boy out. “I just freaked out,” Nicole told police.

The report, dated Feb. 14, 2000, indicates that Nicole Eason was the last person to check on the children and the first adult to spot Austin face down in the water.

The child couldn’t be revived, and the drowning was ruled an accident. Within days, police determined that there was “no reason to expect foul play but rather this appears to be a case of negligence.” No charges were filed; under Massachusetts law, prosecutors must show that a caregiver’s actions “went beyond mere negligence and amounted to recklessness,” according to jury instructions offered in the state.

Today, Kickery wants authorities to reopen the investigation, but a spokesman with the Berkshire District Attorney’s Office says that, absent any new evidence, the case is closed. Nicole Eason says she had nothing to do with the baby’s death.

LEAVING MASSACHUSETTS

By 2002, Calvin Eason and a pregnant Nicole had moved to South Carolina. That March, Nicole gave birth to a boy.

Massachusetts child protection officials learned of the move and told South Carolina authorities about the Easons’ history. They explained that Nicole’s daughter was already in the foster care system. “The allegations,” a report by South Carolina authorities recounted, “are abuse and neglect.” (The couple’s parental rights to the girl were subsequently terminated.)

Although the Kickery boy’s death had been ruled an accident, Massachusetts authorities also brought Nicole’s involvement in the matter to the attention of South Carolina officials. An incident report, dated Feb. 28, 2002 and prepared by the Dorchester County Sheriff’s Office in South Carolina, notes that a “child died in Subject’s care.”

About a week after Nicole’s son was born, the state executed an emergency removal of the newborn from the Eason home in Summerville, South Carolina, sheriff’s records show. Authorities cited the neglect investigation of the Easons in Massachusetts and the conditions in the couple’s South Carolina home.

“The home environment was deplorable for an infant, trash, clothes, stale food and stagnant water,” according to a March 27, 2002, report by the sheriff’s office. “The parents have an open investigation in (Massachusetts) where their parental rights are being terminated due to physical abuse on another child. Parents have severe psychiatric problems as well with violent tendencies.”

In interviews earlier this year at a house they were renting in Tucson, Arizona, the Easons said that both children were still living with them. No pictures of any child hung on the walls, but there were a half-dozen plaques with adages about parenting. One read, “Daughters hold our hands for a little while but hold our hearts forever.”

Nicole said South Carolina officials briefly removed their biological son years ago after someone reported that she had killed the boy and stuffed him into a tote bag. But he was returned to them within a few days, she said, after officials determined she had done nothing wrong.

In truth, the Easons never got the children back. The boy was adopted out of foster care, a South Carolina child welfare official said. The girl has either been adopted or remains in foster care; a Massachusetts official would not say which.

Asked last month to explain why officials in two states reported that her children had been permanently removed, Nicole said someone was lying. “I haven’t had problems with social services,” she said. “That’s what I’m claiming.”

THE BABYSITTER

Her biological children gone, Nicole Eason babysat for other parents.

A neighbor in North Charleston reported to police in 2003 that she suspected Nicole had molested the neighbor’s young daughter. The girl, who was 4 or 5, told her mother that Nicole had been showering and sleeping naked with the child, the mother told police. When authorities interviewed the girl, she “had not disclosed any pertinent information for criminal charges,” according to a report by the North Charleston police, dated Feb. 27, 2003.

As police investigated the allegations, Nicole was being treated in the psychiatric ward of The Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston for “an unrelated incident,” according to the police report.

No charges were filed, but the mother secured a protective order against Eason when Eason left the hospital weeks later. Nicole says she never abused the girl.

In 2005, another allegation surfaced, this time against Calvin Eason.

A young boy who suffered from mental illness told his counselor that Calvin had touched him improperly while bathing the boy. The boy’s mother didn’t believe the allegation, according to a report by North Charleston police, and no charges were brought. The boy’s mother couldn’t be reached for comment.

When Reuters first visited the Easons, Calvin wore a sleeveless maroon T-shirt with the words GOOD DADS MAKE A DIFFERENCE. He said he never improperly touched the boy he had babysat, and added: “I’ve got kids of my own I could already do that to. So why would I even try to do that to another child?”

The Easons bounced between jobs. By the summer of 2006, Nicole moved from South Carolina to Tilton, Illinois. Calvin says she relocated for a job and he stayed behind.

Nicole lived with her friends Randy Winslow and Winslow’s brother, according to Calvin. Later, Calvin joined her in the area, and the Easons moved to a different house.

Before Calvin arrived, Nicole had gone online and taken a child through the re-homing network.

‘I CAN HANDLE HIM’

In July 2006, Nicole’s pursuit of Glenna Mueller’s adopted son was accomplished in a single day.

Ten years old, the boy had come out of the Wisconsin foster system small and underweight. He loved babies and animals but suffered emotional and behavioral problems, Mueller says. He would act out, attack other children and show no remorse, she recalls.

A stay-at-home mother in the paper-mill city of Appleton, Mueller was, in essence, a professional parent. Her income came from government assistance for her adopted sons and daughters. She says a Wisconsin child welfare officer told her that if she relinquished the 10-year-old to the state, the move might prompt an investigation that could result in her losing her other children.

Increasingly stressed, she turned to another Yahoo group, called ConsideringDisruptinganAdoption, to find the boy a new home. If she handled the matter privately, she reasoned, the state wouldn’t have to know and therefore wouldn’t investigate her for neglect or abuse.

Begun in 2004, the Yahoo group was an active online forum for adoptive parents seeking to re-home unwanted children. Mueller posted a description of the boy and asked if anyone was interested.

Nicole Eason responded by email: “OMG Glenna I CAN HANDLE HIM … I HAVE the love, patience and time…”

Mueller was eager to move forward but told Eason she couldn’t afford an attorney.

They wouldn’t need one, Eason assured her. She sent Mueller pictures of children she described as being “all part of my family” – including a daughter and stepson “from a previous marriage” and another boy and girl whom she described as Randy Winslow’s niece and nephew.

Mueller responded by sending Eason additional pictures of the 10-year-old boy. Minutes later, Eason suggested they meet in person. She and Randy, she told Mueller, were willing to drive to Wisconsin that very day. Mueller agreed.

That afternoon, in the hotel parking lot off U.S. Highway 41, Mueller met Eason and Winslow for the first and only time.

Before the couple drove off with the boy, Mueller took a picture of the new family. The snapshot shows a small, lean child between the smiling pair. Winslow, wearing sunglasses, has his arm around the boy.

“I was a little concerned about Randy,” Mueller recalls today. “He never said anything. He spent time with (the boy) and played with him but didn’t interact with me…. But as long as they were on the up-and-up I was OK with them taking him. It was like, get him out of here.

“In hindsight, it was all wrong. I shouldn’t have done it that way,” she says. “But I did, you know.”

THE STAY

Several months passed before the boy’s caseworker in Wisconsin learned that Mueller had given the child to a couple in Illinois. Mueller says the caseworker insisted she take the the boy back. He told her that the transfer violated a legal requirement that authorities be notified when custody is transferred across state lines.

The caseworker “said I could be arrested,” Mueller says. “It scared the bejesus out of me.”

Mueller called Nicole Eason, who promised to meet her at the state line to give her the boy back. But on the day they arranged to meet, Mueller says, Eason didn’t show. Today, Mueller says she cannot remember how the boy got back to her Appleton home. But she says neither Wisconsin nor Illinois authorities took action against her, Eason or Winslow for transferring custody illegally.

When the boy returned to Wisconsin in late 2006, he mentioned that he spent most of his time with Winslow, not with Nicole. “She left,” he told Mueller. “I was there with Randy,” Mueller recalls him saying.

As Mueller began searching online for another family to take him, Eason and Winslow also were back online, again looking for children.

While Eason worked the re-homing bulletin boards, Winslow spent time in a chat room called baby&toddlerlove. That’s where an undercover federal agent named Kevin Laws found him in April 2007.

Laws, who works in the child exploitation investigative unit at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, posed as a single grandfather living in Alaska. He told Winslow he was caring for his two grandchildren, kids he said he would let Winslow molest.

In his messages to Laws, court records show, Winslow shared child pornography and claimed to have experience “sucking boys” who were 7, 9 and 11 years old.

“Its all fun man no matter their age,” Winslow wrote in a chat. Winslow told Laws he would come to Alaska and work as the man’s housekeeper; in exchange, Winslow would have access to the children. Their chat went this way:

Lovethemcute: its a shame they have to feel guilty or schools tell them its wrong

Laws, working undercover: yea but what are you going to do

Lovethemcute: I agree its wrong to abuse a child but we don’t abuse them there is a difference

Lovethemcute: just have to raise them to think its fine and not to tell anyone

Lovethemcute: what is done in the family stays in the family

A ‘FUN BOY’

When authorities searched Winslow’s home and took his computer, the warrant allowed them to look only for items related to the sending and receiving of child-exploitation images and the chats and emails between Winslow and the undercover agent. Nicole Eason was no longer living with Winslow.

Not until he was contacted for this story did Laws, an agent who specializes in protecting children, learn about the Internet groups that facilitate private re-homing. At the time he caught Winslow, Laws says, authorities didn’t know to look for anything beyond what was in the chats.

After a reporter told Laws about the 10-year-old whom Winslow and Eason had taken in, the agent re-examined his exchanges with Winslow. Among the items Laws discovered was a photo of the boy, clothed.

Reading from a transcript that wasn’t made public as part of the criminal case, Laws says Winslow also described the 10-year-old. Winslow called him a “fun boy” whom he and his ex-girlfriend planned to adopt.

In February 2008, Winslow pleaded guilty in his criminal case and was convicted of sending and receiving child pornography from June 2006 through May 2007. The span includes the months that the 10-year-old spent with Winslow and Eason. Serving a 20-year sentence at a federal prison in Elkton, Ohio, Winslow declined requests for an interview.

After returning to Wisconsin, Mueller sent the child to another home after getting approval from child welfare officials.

The boy turned 18 a few days ago. In an interview, his new foster mother said he is one of 10 children with special needs that she and her husband are raising. She said he is often combative and uncommunicative. He once asked if he could attend a school for troubled children, she said, but she and her husband insist on home-schooling him and don’t believe in therapy for children. The couple declined to make the boy available for an interview.

‘PERFECT TOGETHER’

Asked recently whether she knew that Winslow is in prison for trading child pornography, Nicole replied “nope” and said she knew Winslow “for like a couple weeks.” She also disputed that Winslow traveled with her to pick up the boy, despite the photographic evidence to the contrary.

In emails that Nicole Eason and Mueller exchanged shortly after the handover, Eason wrote that the boy and Winslow “are perfect together… both playful kids which is what (the boy) needs.”

In an earlier interview, Nicole Eason didn’t mention Winslow but did refer to the child as “our sex boy.” He often behaved perversely, she said: “He would try to walk around butt-naked.”

When the boy misbehaved, she said, she had “no problems spanking an ass.” Once, she said, she hit him when he insulted a customer at a Walmart.

“As weird as this sounds, I just unnaturally reacted and backhand him in his mouth,” Eason said. “You know, busted his lip with his tooth and, you know, he started crying.”

By early 2007, the boy had gone, and Nicole and Winslow had parted. She was again living with Calvin. And again, she had connected with two sets of parents who didn’t want their children, a Russian boy and an American girl whom the Easons would take.

Big Momma also was becoming a bigger presence in the Internet re-homing forums. Soon, a woman who moderated one of the bulletin boards grew concerned about Nicole – so much so that she drove through the night to the Eason home. She was there to try to take the boy and girl away from them.

In a shadowy online network, a pedophile takes home a ‘fun boy’

[Reuters 9/9/13 by Megan Twohey, Ryan McNeill and Robin Respaut]

A video interview with Reuters reporter Megan Twohey can be watched at this link.

NBC Investigations with Reuters

“A Tennessee woman says that when her adoptive parents gave her away to new parents at age 14, she and 17 other adoptive kids in her “nightmarish” new home were sometimes forced to dig their own “graves” in the backyard and scrub the floor with toothbrushes.

“’Get out and go dig your own grave,” Nora Gateley, now 26, says her new mother told her. “’I don’t care if you die. Nobody will find you. You were not even here in the first place.”

 Americans have adopted nearly a quarter million children from overseas since the late 1990s, but sometimes the children have undisclosed physical or behavioral problems, and sometimes their adoptive parents simply can’t cope with their new responsibilities.

An investigation by Reuters in partnership with NBC News has uncovered an underground world of “re-homing,” where parents give their children to new caretakers, sometimes people they have met only over the internet, with little or no government oversight.

Nora Gateley was “re-homed” after she thought she’d hit the jackpot. Abandoned at birth in Guangdong, China, and with a right leg crippled by polio, she was about to turn 13 and become too old for adoption in 1999 when an American couple showed up at her orphanage with a Snoopy backpack and jewelry. Within weeks they’d whisked her away to a new life in the Florida Keys.

“I was the luckiest girl in the world,” recalled Nora. “I never felt so special.”

Her new parents brought her to live with their four other children, two of them adopted. Nora remembers the early days as “awesome, living a dream.” But after a year, her relationship with her parents changed. She was accused of hitting one of her siblings, and briefly ran away from home.

One day her mother told her she was going on a road trip with her father.

“I just thought we were going out,” said Nora. “Just doing a daddy and daughter thing, because we’d done that before.” The road trip lasted two days, and ended at an isolated farmhouse in Trenton, Tennessee.

There she met Tom and Debra Schmitz, who already had at least nine adopted and re-homed children, and would eventually amass 17.

Nora still has to wipe away tears when she remembers how her first American dad said goodbye. “He said, ‘We’ll come back in a couple years and pick you up.’ And I believed him.”

On her first night in Tennessee, said Nora, the Schmitz home seemed pleasant. Debra offered her ice cream and soda and was friendly and happy.

“Day 2 was not normal,” said Nora. “I knew she’d lost her mind by day 2.”

The Schmitzes were featured in newspaper articles that described how they’d provided a loving home to a multicultural, international brood of adopted children.

According to Nora, their public image was an illusion. The other kids in the house told her very quickly she needed to do what Debra said “or you’re going to be in trouble.”

She says she soon found she had to take care of the younger kids, many with special needs, and that Debra had harsh methods of discipline. She claims there was beating in the house, and she was sometimes forced to stay up all night or scrub floors with a toothbrush.

Nora had to wear a brace on her leg for her polio, and says that Debra would sometimes take it away. “She took my brace numerous times … as punishment. So I [couldn’t] walk.”

“She said, ‘You can run away for all I care and I’ll let the coyotes out there eat you,’ ” recalled Nora. “’Nobody knows you were here anyway.’”

Sometimes, claimed Nora, Debra would punish the children by forcing them to dig their own “graves,” leaving holes “everywhere” in the backyard. Sometimes she made Nora supervise the other children as they dug, and at least once Nora was made to do it herself.

“She said, ‘Get out and go dig your own grave,” said Nora. “Nobody will find you.”

“So I dug. And she watched. And watched, and watched.”

According to Nora, the hole took three hours to dig and was big enough to fit her body.

The Schmitz house was in the country, far from prying eyes. When state officials came to visit, she alleges, they didn’t necessarily see all the kids, because Debra made it difficult.

Away from scrutiny, says Nora, Debra would drink and surf the internet, looking for more children. She had an alarm on the gate and cameras around the house to monitor both the kids and any unexpected visitors.

One day a nurse who’d been coming to the house and suspected something was amiss persuaded Debra to let her take Nora and another child for a visit at her own home.

“I was scared for them,” explained Sherry Dvorak. As soon as the girls were in her car they began crying and telling her everything.

Dvorak gave Nora and her adoptive sister a tape recorder, and in secret, away from the cameras, they recorded their version of events. When Dvorak heard the tape, she says she “just about physically got sick.” She gave the tape to the police, who went to the Schmitz home with a search warrant.

The Tennessee Department of Children’s Services determined that seven of the 18 children they took from the home did not legally belong to the Schmitzes. Eleven did, including a biological child of the Schmitzes, and Nora, who by then had been legally adopted.

In 2006, Debra pleaded no contest to 14 counts of child abuse and one count of trafficking. She was sentenced to six months in jail and put on probation. The case against Tom Schmitz, now her ex-husband, was expunged. He couldn’t be reached for comment.

Debra told Reuters that she took the children after their parents begged her for help. She also says she never abused any children, and that she only made the children dig holes as punishment for telling lies. She denies taking away Nora’s leg brace, and says she only pled no contest to the charges against her in hopes of getting the children back.

The parents who initially adopted Nora from China would not tell Reuters how they found the Schmitzes. Other parents who re-homed children with the Schmitzes said they contacted them through the internet. Dvorak says that Debra told her more than once she could get a child via the web. A second nurse who visited the home told police that Debra had shown her an internet group listing unwanted adopted children, and claimed she could get a child in three weeks without any government involvement.

Megan Twohey, who spearheaded the investigation of re-homing for Reuters, said that there are numerous internet chat rooms where desperate adoptive parents post notes advertising available kids.

According to Twohey, some of the messages mention that children were previously sexually abused. “Sex offender experts will tell you that these kind of advertisements are a predator’s dream come true,” said Twohey.

Nora went to live with Dvorak for several months after she left the Schmitz house, and then with a family named Gateley. She eventually took the family’s last name.

Today she’s working in a doctor’s office, living on her own and playing wheelchair basketball for fun.

“I’m happy,” she said. “I have people that love and care about me … I’m very humble and very happy and just blessed that I’m out of that situation.”

Dvorak said that animal shelters are more humane than re-homing. “At least the dog shelter, if it’s not a good fit, you can take that animal back to the shelter and they’ll find a better home for it.”

Nora said she thinks “re-homing” is a misnomer. “I call it a hit and run.””

Adopted girl says mother forced her to dig her own grave

[NBC news 9/9/13 by Monica Alba, Kate Snow and Mark Schone]

REFORM Puzzle Piece

Update: Part 3:The Middlemen  With blind trust and good intentions, amateurs broker children online[Reuters 9/10/13 by Megan Twohey, Ryan McNeill, Robin Respaut and Blake Morrison] says “When Megan Exon began moderating an Internet bulletin board in 2007, she viewed her effort as a way to help kids find better homes.

The group was called adoption_disruption, and it drew parents who were struggling to raise children they had adopted.

The North Carolina woman wasn’t a licensed social worker or an adoption specialist. She was a 41-year-old mother who had taken in a child herself less than two years before. Her husband had noticed a Taiwanese boy advertised on the Internet, in one of the online forums that support America’s underground market for unwanted adopted children.

The parents who were giving up the boy told Exon that the 4-year-old’s feet were too big and his ears looked funny. If parents could discard their adopted kids so callously, she reasoned, maybe she could help children find new families by moderating one of the Internet sites.

“We were just introducing people,” Exon says of the online group, where parents sought new homes for unwanted children in a practice known as “private re-homing.”

“The only thing we facilitated,” she says, “was bringing people together.”

Well-intentioned as that seemed, Exon would come to regret her role in the re-homing network, a collection of Internet forums where people seeking children can find one quickly. They are able to do so without involving the government and sometimes with the help of middlemen whose activities can be naïve, reckless or illegal, a Reuters investigation has found.

Exon grew alarmed on April 5, 2007, when she took a phone call from Lynne Banks, a woman in South Dakota who followed the activity on the online adoption boards. Banks warned of an Illinois couple using the Internet to obtain children. The woman sometimes called herself Big Momma. Her real name was Nicole Eason.

In her conversation with Exon, Banks said she believed that Eason and her husband, Calvin, were lying about being approved by the government to take in children. While surfing the Internet, Banks also came to suspect that a man who’d been living with Nicole was possibly a sex offender.

Exon knew of the Easons. They already had sought children on the Internet group. She had introduced them to two families. One lived in California. They had recently sent their daughter, an American-born girl who was about to turn 8, to live with the Easons. The other had sent them a teenager, Dmitri, a boy who had been adopted in Russia.

“I was absolutely stunned,” Exon recalls. She also was terrified.

“I felt like we were participating in something that was getting out of hand,” she says today. “We weren’t doing background checks. We didn’t have any way of knowing who these people were.… I felt sick to my stomach.”

Even then, Exon had no idea what sort of parents the Easons had been: Child welfare officials had taken away Nicole Eason’s two biological children, a son and a daughter, years earlier. A report by authorities who removed the Easons’ newborn son characterized them as having “severe psychiatric problems” and “violent tendencies.” And the man Banks had mentioned – the one who had been living with Nicole – had been trading pictures of naked children online.

After she got off the phone with Banks, Exon felt she had to act fast. That night, she and a friend would pack their children into a van and drive about 650 miles northwest, to a baby-blue cinderblock house that the Easons rented in Danville, Illinois.

“Oh my God,” she told the friend, “we’ve got to get those kids.”

‘THE WAY THE INTERNET IS’

For prospective parents, the draw of re-homing is obvious: They can bypass some of the most basic but time-consuming government safeguards meant to protect children.

To legally take custody of a child through the U.S. foster care system, prospective parents undergo criminal background checks, home inspections, and in most states, dozens of hours of training. After placement, social workers visit the family regularly to ensure the child is safe. In many private re-homings, none of that happens.

The online bulletin boards have emerged as a do-it-yourself way for parents to quietly end adoptions. The groups not only attract parents but also appeal to do-gooders like Exon who delight in the chance to help find needy children better homes.

On one bulletin board, Adopting-from-Disruption, Reuters found dozens of advertisements for children that appear to be posted by middlemen. Few were licensed child welfare workers. Some had taken in or re-homed children themselves. Yahoo took down the group after Reuters told it what was going on there. The company also took down five other groups that Reuters brought to its attention.

One relatively new re-homing group is a Facebook page called Way Stations of Love. It was founded last year by Tim Stowell, a 60-year-old father of four adopted children who works at a Tennessee boarding school for boys. Facebook says activity on the page is “a reflection of society.”

Stowell says Way Stations serves a dual purpose: to support distressed parents to avert re-homings, and to help find new families for children if necessary. “Every time a child moves from home to home,” Stowell says, “it puts a dent into their psychological well-being.”

Today, the group has about 275 members. Its Facebook classification is “secret,” meaning only members can see it; others need Stowell’s permission to join. He says he also keeps a private list of people willing to take in children from failed adoptions. But like most go-betweens, Stowell says he leaves the vetting of prospective parents to families offering a child.

In some cases, he says, parents meet on the site and exchange private emails to arrange custody transfers. “And then I never know what happens to them,” Stowell says of the children. “Some people want the children as far away from them as possible.”

On Way Stations of Love, intermediaries regularly offer assistance. “Posting for a friend,” a North Carolina woman wrote in June. “8 Year old Guatemalan female Resides in North Carolina with her family Adopted at 8 months into current family…”

Many advertisements for unwanted children skirt a patchwork of state laws that define who can place children and how. In some form, 29 U.S. states have laws that govern how children can be advertised for adoption. In many of those states, those helping to arrange an adoption must be licensed to do so.

In Tennessee, no law prevents Stowell from advertising children for adoption, or from helping parents find available children. But Stowell says he isn’t certain whether other middlemen who facilitate such transfers online are breaking the law. “They may be,” he says. “I don’t know that state laws have kept up with the way the Internet is. I’m hoping that people will obey the laws of their different states, whatever they may be.”

Idaho is a state that does restrict who can advertise adoptions. There, a statute prohibits those without a state license from advertising children for adoption or from conveying “the ability to place, locate, dispose or receive a child or children for adoption.”

One online roster of available children is kept by an Idaho-based non-profit organization named Christian Homes and Special Kids, or CHASK. The group has been helping match children with new parents for almost a decade. It has no state license or contract.

“We’re just trying to help families,” says Tom Bushnell, a lawyer who founded the group with his wife, Sherry.

Most of the children listed by the group for re-homing come from failed international adoptions, and a disclaimer on its website reads: “CHASK should be considered a ‘last resort’ avenue for finding a new adoptive home for a previously adopted child.”

Initially, regulators were unfamiliar with CHASK. After Reuters inquired more recently about the organization, a spokesman with the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare said late last month that the state attorney general began a review. At issue: “the scope of CHASK’s activities and if they are complying with Idaho law,” the spokesman said.

Tom Bushnell says CHASK isn’t violating Idaho’s law on advertising children for adoption, in part because the computer server the group uses is located in another state.

THE LITTLE GIRL

When Exon became a moderator of adoption_disruption, the re-homing group on Yahoo, she was essentially its gatekeeper. Moderators review prospective members and are often the first to see ads for unwanted children. They can orchestrate connections between participants and control the group’s settings, including whether to make messages public or private.

Exon says she just wanted to help improve children’s lives. She had helped run summer camps and afterschool programs while working for a school board in Florida. Moderating the group seemed like another opportunity to serve.

In 2007, Exon came across Nicole Eason for the first time. Eason’s posts in the re-homing group seemed sincere. Nicole explained that she and her husband had taken in children through the U.S. foster care system, Exon recalls. Eason also wrote that Illinois officials had confirmed that they were suitable parents.

Like moderators on other re-homing sites, Exon didn’t see vetting prospective parents as her responsibility. After initial connections were made on her bulletin board, it was up to the two families to do due diligence.

“We always reminded people, ‘Get an attorney,'” Exon says. “And obviously people didn’t always do that.”

She and Nicole Eason spoke on the phone a few times, and she says she could tell the Easons badly wanted children. Exon understood that passion to parent; she also saw many adults on the bulletin board who wanted to get rid of kids.

One was the California couple who turned to adoption_disruption in early 2007. The parents were eager to find a new home for their adopted daughter. Exon suggested they connect with Eason.

“I can tell you for a fact that I was the one who introduced them,” she says today.

For Nicole Eason, acquiring the girl was easy. “I seen three pictures of her, talked to her on the phone twice, and spent an hour with her before she was all mine,” she said in an interview.

RUSSIAN TEEN

Adoption_disruption was also where Eason connected with William and Victoria Stewart, an American couple living in Scotland. The Stewarts were looking to re-home Dmitri, a 14-year-old they’d adopted from Russia 11 years earlier.

Dmitri, now 20, says his relationship with his adoptive parents had broken down after the Stewarts had three children of their own. He recalls he was constantly getting in trouble. William Stewart says Dmitri was emotionally detached and would grow enraged easily.

The family had moved to Scotland from Florida, Stewart says, to avoid child protective officials there who had investigated him and his wife for allegedly abusing Dmitri. They weren’t charged, but the experience made them reluctant to reach out to government social services after concluding they could no longer raise Dmitri. Stewart says he stumbled upon the adoption_disruption Yahoo group while surfing the Internet.

Of the bulletin board, Stewart now says this: “There was some crazy stuff going on. People weren’t who they said.”

Stewart had never reviewed any records attesting to the suitability of the Easons when he flew to Illinois in March 2007 to drop Dmitri with the couple. He says Exon was the “total middle person” in the transfer, and he was relying on her recommendation.

The 8-year-old girl from California was already there, recalls Dmitri. (The girl’s name is being withheld because she is a minor.)

The house in Danville didn’t resemble the description in a “home study” that Nicole once posted online: “The home is tastefully furnished,” the document reads, “and housekeeping standards are good.”

“It was really decrepit,” Stewart says, adding that he “was really torn” about leaving Dmitri there.

As Dmitri recalls, the rented cinderblock house had almost no furniture and the sink was piled with dirty dishes.

Strangely, none of the bedrooms had doors. Dmitri asked Nicole why. “I like to watch you sleep,” Dmitri says she told him. Her answer, he says, made him feel “really weird.”

Dmitri had no idea how long the 8-year-old girl, with shaggy brown hair and a wide smile, had been living there. He didn’t know where she had come from, either. He says that she slept in the Easons’ bed.

The Easons never made him go to school, he says, so he sat home and smoked cigarettes they gave him. A picture taken in Danville shows Dmitri perched on the front steps of the house, a cigarette and a water bottle in his left hand. He wears a striped soccer jersey, dark pants and a blank expression.

In an interview, Nicole Eason took issue with Dmitri’s account. She said his bedroom had an accordion-style door, that she never bought him cigarettes, and that the girl living there never shared the Easons’ bed.

RED FLAGS

On April 5, 2007 – a few weeks after Dmitri was dropped there – a police officer knocked on the Easons’ door. Lynne Banks, the woman who contacted Exon about the Easons, had called authorities.

Browsing the Internet groups, Banks came across posts from Nicole Eason. They didn’t add up, Banks thought: Eason referred to children she didn’t have and others who she claimed had died.

Banks says she began reaching out to parents who’d been contacted by Eason. Later, she came across the home study Nicole circulated. As far as she could tell, the Easons had simply typed information into a sample document that was posted on the Internet. She also found that a man named Randy, who had posted a profile on an adult sex site, may have taken a child with Nicole. (That man, Randy Winslow, was later convicted of trading child pornography.)

“Red flags were popping up,” Banks recalls. She reached out to Exon to relate what she had found. Then, Banks called the Danville Police.

The officer who visited the house spoke briefly to the children, and “both indicated that there were no inappropriate contacts or abuses,” the police report says. The Easons also produced “Authorization of Legal Guardianship of Minor” documents for both children, and insisted they were treating the kids well.

The police took no further action. Exon did.

 

‘YOU’RE NOT SAFE HERE’

Exon says that after talking to Banks, she couldn’t stop worrying about Dmitri and the girl. She reached out to both sets of parents, and says they gave her permission to retrieve the children.

Within hours, Exon was heading to Illinois. Behind the wheel of the red van was a friend Exon had met through the Yahoo group who had recently taken in two children through re-homing. The two brought their children along on the 10-hour drive.

Before leaving, Exon got Nicole Eason on the phone and announced she was coming for Dmitri and the girl. Nicole seemed willing to turn them over, Exon says.

Still, as Exon arrived at the small house the next morning, she didn’t know what to expect. She had never met the Easons, not in person.

Exon knocked on the door. A burly man answered. At around 6-foot-2 (1.9 meters), Calvin Eason stood more than a foot (30 cm) taller than she did.

Behind him, Exon saw a young girl with greasy hair and filthy clothes, and a teenage boy with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. Something – a mouse? – lay on the floor. It was covered in bugs, she remembers. Nicole wasn’t around.

Exon composed herself. She was here for the girl, she told Calvin Eason.

Then she turned to Dmitri. “You’re coming, too,” she said. “You’re not safe here.”

Neither child had seen her before.

“You’re on private property,” Eason recalls telling her. “I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

“Well, I’m not leaving without her,” she replied, Eason says. “I’ll have the authorities come here and escort her out.”

Calvin relented, and Exon says he told the children to grab their belongings. Dmitri was reluctant to go. He didn’t know this woman or what she wanted with them.

“It was all very sudden,” Dmitri recalls. “I knew I wanted to leave but … it was really crazy.”

Exon thought fast and remembered something Dmitri’s adoptive father had told her. She promised to buy the boy a hamburger if he came along. It worked.

Just before Exon left, Calvin tried to get her to take a puppy he and Nicole had gotten for the girl, a pit bull that the 8-year-old named Cinderella. Exon refused.

None of these custody transfers were valid – not the Easons taking in the children, or Exon and her friend keeping the kids without involving state officials. Each step violated the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children, which requires authorities to sign off when custody of a child is transferred across state lines.

In the weeks after Exon picked up the children, the Stewarts and the 8-year-old’s parents made clear they didn’t want their kids back. Exon’s friend from the Yahoo group took Dmitri to her home in Georgia and cared for him for a short time, before handing him over to the Georgia child welfare system.

Dmitri was placed in a government-approved foster home. William Stewart says today he and his wife were allowed to disown Dmitri after agreeing to pay for the boy’s care until he turned 18. Dmitri left the foster home this year. He still uses the last name Stewart.

As for the 8-year-old girl, Exon couldn’t give her up. She has since gone to court to legally adopt the girl, and says the adoption is almost final.

Exon says she stopped moderating the re-homing bulletin board immediately. “After what happened with the Easons, I felt like maybe we were doing something wrong,” she says. “I didn’t want to be a part of it anymore.”

The Easons became more involved. Within months of Dmitri and the girl leaving, Nicole Eason established her own re-homing group on Yahoo. She called it abig_hug_needed. Instead of Big Momma, she now took the screen name momma_bear2000.

“Did You ever imagine this day would come, where you have no other choice but to disrupt the adoption you longed for,” Eason wrote. “This group is for support, resourses or just plain chat. Tell your experiences, Post a message looking for a new home for your special child or Ask a question about disruption. We learn by sharing of thoughts, experiences, and our feelings.”

A few weeks later, two new girls would pass through the Eason household. Both had been born overseas. Both had been advertised on an Internet bulletin board.

By 2009, the Easons would also take custody of a 5-year-old boy born in Guatemala. This time, the boy’s adoptive father wasn’t simply a distraught parent looking to end an adoption.

He was a cop.”

Update 2: Part 4 and 5

Part 4Despite ‘grave danger,’ government allows Internet forums to go unchecked  [Reuters 9/10/13 by Megan Twohey] says “Tom and Misty Mealey brimmed with hope as a battered purple pickup pulled up to their Virginia home.

It was July 5, 2009, and their houseguests had arrived – a husband and wife who had driven from upstate New York to the Mealey residence just outside of Roanoke.

Until that day, the Mealeys hadn’t met Calvin Eason, then 40, or his wife Nicole, 30. Both were “shabbily dressed,” and they didn’t immediately impress, Misty Mealey recalls. Still, if all went well, the Mealeys were prepared to give the Easons one of their children: a 5-year-old boy they had adopted from Guatemala months earlier.

The boy suffered from a condition called reactive attachment disorder, which makes bonding with caretakers difficult. He had grown increasingly violent, breaking windows, hitting the Mealeys’ three other children and urinating on their toys. At night, the Mealeys locked him in his room to keep their family safe.

After months of therapy and other attempts to get help, the Mealeys did what distressed parents across America continue to do: They began advertising their unwanted adopted child online.

The Easons responded quickly, stressing in emails and phone calls that they would be excellent parents. Then they drove more than 600 miles to make their case to the Mealeys in person.

The Easons shared meals and went bowling with the family. They also seemed to bond with the 5-year-old. He crawled on their laps and they played with him. He even “spontaneously started calling them Mom and Dad,” Misty says today.

“They seemed very comfortable around children,” she recalls.

Before week’s end, the Mealeys were convinced, and Calvin and Nicole Eason headed back to New York with the 5-year-old.

Like others who find new parents for their child on the Internet, the Mealeys had been distraught. They, too, didn’t involve child welfare authorities in the custody transfer, and they knew little about the parents taking their child.

For all their similarities to previous parents who gave children to the Easons, the Mealeys were unique. Tom Mealey was trained to spot deception.

He was a police officer.

The story of how the Easons acquired boys and girls through the Internet exposes almost every way in which authorities fail to crack down on those who use America’s underground child exchange, a Reuters investigation has found.

Without involving government officials, parents transfer unwanted children – often foreign adoptees – to virtual strangers they meet online. No law explicitly covers the practice, a type of “private re-homing.” The primary safeguard that does exist is a feeble deterrent – an agreement between U.S. states called the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC).

Although the ICPC has been adopted as law by each state, some states attach no penalties to violations of the pact. In others, violations are considered misdemeanors, but even then officials almost never prosecute offenders. Many police are unfamiliar with the ICPC. Authorities who do understand the compact say they are focused on helping children rather than enforcing the law.

“Speaking honestly, we wouldn’t be that concerned about the penalty for the person who violated the compact,” says Harry Gilmore, deputy administrator of the ICPC in Oregon. There, a violation is a misdemeanor.

For parents who know about the compact but choose to ignore it, any legal risk is outweighed by the need to remove a troublesome child. When the underground network is used, a transfer will likely go unnoticed by authorities, minimizing the chance of getting caught. The only people vetting a child’s new family are the adoptive parents themselves – the very people looking to get rid of the boy or girl.

Two families who gave their children to the Easons – the Mealeys of Virginia and Gary and Lisa Barnes of Texas – came to realize the dangers of handling such transfers themselves.

“It’s horribly embarrassing,” Tom Mealey says of being misled by the Easons. “The thought that I spent a career dealing with people like this is even more embarrassing. I wish we had done more.”

“We’re thankful that it was just the Easons,” he adds. “It could’ve been Hannibal Lecter.”

‘A USED CAR’

In August 2008, almost a year before taking the Mealey boy, the Easons found a new child online to join their household. Anna Barnes was 13. She had already been re-homed once since she was adopted in Russia and brought to the United States at age 7.

Her second set of American parents, the Barneses of Tolar, Texas, had come to regret adopting Anna. They had talked with her original adoptive parents before taking custody. But the Barneses quickly suspected that they hadn’t been told enough about the emotional and behavioral problems Anna brought to America.

“This is a bad analogy, but it’s sort of like selling a used car,” Gary Barnes says of why he and his wife weren’t told more. “If you tell someone it breaks down every day, nobody’s going to buy it.”

The Barneses, who breed miniature horses for a living, found Anna to be defiant. Counseling proved too expensive and inconvenient. A home for troubled kids told them she wasn’t a good fit for its program. If they turned Anna over to the state of Texas, the Barneses say they were told, they would be considered unfit parents and have to pay child support until she turned 18.

“We spent the first year trying to help the child and fix the problem,” Gary says. “Then a light comes on and you realize you can’t fix the problem, that you need to get away from the problem.”

The Barneses wrote an ad about Anna and posted it online, in a Yahoo forum called Respite-Rehoming.

Nicole Eason, who was going by the name Momma Bear online, replied. In emails with the Barneses, she pledged that she and her husband were prepared to care for Anna.

“We will love her no matter what mistakes she makes in life,” Momma Bear assured the Barneses. She promised to buy Anna her favorite candy – Heath bars – and give her a puppy, an inducement the Easons had used before and would use again.

“I gotta tell you, you’re hitting a home run with everything that you’re offering up to her,” Lisa Barnes replied. The “puppy thing was a good idea… It will give her something to focus on instead of thinking all bad or ‘poor me’ thoughts.”

To help clinch the deal, Nicole shared a fictitious “home study” she created. In it, a social worker purportedly vouched for the Easons’ parenting skills.

It was September 2008. The Easons, then living in Westville, Illinois, headed south to collect Anna. They flew some 900 miles and drove to the Barnes’s farm in Tolar, population 700.

As the five of them ate dinner at a local chain restaurant, Anna studied the Easons. They made her nervous.

“I couldn’t stop (crying).… I just kept telling them, ‘Please don’t send me to them. Please, I’m begging you. I will get down on my knees,'” Anna, now 18, recalls of the handover.

When the Barneses sent Anna home with the Easons, no lawyers or government authorities were involved. No one carefully checked out the Easons or the home study they presented.

The Barneses and the Easons also didn’t inform child welfare officials that Anna was being sent from Texas to Illinois. That failure to involve authorities is a violation of the ICPC. Texas considers violations a misdemeanor. So does Illinois, although an official there says the state hasn’t prosecuted anyone for breaking the law for at least 15 years. The Barneses say they had never heard of the requirement.

In an email to Nicole shortly after the handover, Lisa wrote of the day they gave their daughter to the Easons: “When we left Gary said ‘what do we do’ … I said ‘get in the car and go’ and don’t look back.”

Lisa added: “I hope she’s okay.”

NICOLE’S BED

When Anna arrived at the Eason place, she says, puddles of urine and piles of feces spotted the floor; two puppies had been left alone in the trailer. Anna says the Easons showed her pictures of a young boy and girl who they said had once lived with them. She asked what became of them.

“Their answer to my question was, ‘Sometimes kids just die, and they both had died,'” Anna recalls. Nicole says she doesn’t remember which children she showed Anna that day.

When Nicole encouraged Anna to pick out a movie, Anna says she found pornographic films when she opened a cabinet. Nicole says there was no pornography in the house.

Anna realized she had no bed of her own. The first night, she slept next to a naked Nicole, she recalls. The next morning, she says, Nicole asked Anna if she had felt Nicole kissing her during the night.

She later was expected to sleep between Calvin and Nicole, Anna says.”I was sandwiched in there, and I stayed there for about a total of 2 minutes, 47 seconds, and decided that it was getting weird,” she recalls. She says she quickly left their room and slept on the couch.

Calvin and Nicole say they have never shared their bed with any children they took through re-homing. Nicole also says she never sleeps nude.

Anna’s heart lifted the next day at school when she saw a man with a cowboy hat in the hall. It was Gary Barnes, the adoptive father who had given her to the Easons a few days before.

The previous day, Barnes says he had been contacted by a former friend of Nicole’s. The woman thought Nicole may have responded to the ad for Anna. She believed the Easons’ home study was fabricated, Barnes says, and that authorities had removed at least one re-homed child from their custody. Barnes says the woman told him she was worried for Anna’s safety.

Now, Barnes was, too. He flew to Illinois and headed to the school Anna was to attend in Westville. To his relief, she was there.

Barnes recalls talking with school administrators, then to local police. He explained that he had come to retrieve his adopted daughter after learning the Easons had lied, law enforcement and child welfare records show.

When he and Anna returned to Tolar, Barnes filed a complaint about the Easons with the Texas Attorney General’s office.

The attorney general also heard from Lynne Banks, an adoptive mother in South Dakota who monitored the online re-homing groups and had grown concerned about the Easons.

In a Sept. 10, 2008, email to the Texas Attorney General’s office, Banks reported that the Easons had already succeeded in taking four children.

“Nicole seems to be in the practice of luring in adoptive parents who are looking to disrupt their adoptions and taking their children by using false documentation,” Banks wrote. “She is literally scamming them.”

Despite the involvement of authorities in Illinois and the warnings to authorities in Texas, the states took no steps that prevented the Easons from taking other children.

THE VALLEY VIEW

In October 2008, less than a month after Gary Barnes reclaimed Anna, the Easons obtained another child online, Quita, born in Liberia. As detailed in Part One of this series, authorities eventually retrieved the girl in Stephentown, New York. Once again, no one took action against the Easons or the other parents.

The Easons later moved into a studio with a kitchenette at the Valley View Apartments in Stephentown. In early 2009, a 23-year-old disabled man named Elmer Huntoon was living with the couple.

On April 25, 2009, Huntoon went fishing in a pond near the Valley View, according to a state police report. It cites the Easons and other witnesses explaining that Calvin found Huntoon lying face down in the water. Huntoon’s drowning was ruled accidental. Nicole, the report says, had tried to resuscitate him.

Months later, in July 2009, a relative of the dead man called New York State Police, investigator Timothy Northrup recalls. A child was now living with the Easons at the Valley View Apartments, the caller reported.

The child was the 5-year-old Guatemalan boy, who had been given to the Easons by Tom and Misty Mealey.

The Mealeys had adopted the boy in December 2008. He proved to be troubled, and the Mealeys say their therapist told them the boy would get worse before he got better. When they reached out to social service agencies to seek a new home, they say they got no help: Unless they were abusing or neglecting the child, the government wouldn’t take him in.

In April or May 2009, the Mealeys advertised their unwanted child on a Yahoo group, Respite-Rehoming, the same group where Gary and Lisa Barnes had listed Anna. Nicole Eason quickly replied.

She explained to the Mealeys that she and Calvin were childless. After several miscarriages, they were now trying to adopt.

“We have decided that if you chose us as a family we would be happy to accept him into our lives,” Calvin wrote in an email to the Mealeys.

Tom Mealey says he would have been breaking the law if he used police resources to check out the Easons. He also says the Easons’ home study looked authentic. The therapist who had been treating the 5-year-old scrutinized the document and talked with both Nicole and Calvin Eason by phone, Tom Mealey says. The therapist, he says, “thought this would work.”

“If she couldn’t see through their deception,” Mealey says now, “how were we supposed to see through it?”

There were reasons to question the document. First, the address listed for the social worker who purportedly did the home study is a post-office box that corresponds to a P.O. box listed under the name of Nicole’s biological daughter, who was taken away from the Easons in 2000. The P.O. box surfaces in a basic Internet search.

Second, Illinois had no record of the social worker, Sharon Smalls. But South Carolina did. A sheriff’s report indicates that a South Carolina child protection worker by that name had visited the Easons’ home in 2002 – not to attest to their parenting skills but to take away their infant son.

The pattern was familiar: Neither the Easons nor the Mealeys informed child welfare officials in New York or Virginia of the custody transfer.

The Mealeys say they engaged an attorney to ensure they did nothing illegal. In crafting a document that stated they were giving their adopted son to the Easons, the attorney advised framing the transfer as temporary “therapeutic placement,” and Tom Mealey says “that’s what kept us out of trouble with ICPC.”

The deal the Mealeys struck with the Easons began to unravel just four days after the Guatemalan boy changed hands. New York State Police responded to the call they received from the relative of Huntoon, the 23-year-old drowning victim. Authorities visited their room at the Valley View Apartments and took the boy into state custody.

This time, New York social services officials did take action. In a child protective petition filed in civil court, they accused the Mealeys of neglect. Officials alleged the couple had placed the boy “at imminent risk” by giving him to the Easons, citing the fact that Nicole Eason’s own biological son and daughter had been permanently removed from their care.

Nicole told investigators that she was looking to take in yet another child. “Ms. Eason stated that she is currently speaking to another family that she met over the Internet and may be providing respite services to a ‘sexually aggressive 14 year old girl,'” court records note.

Ultimately, the Mealeys settled the case. The neglect petition was withdrawn, and they gave up their parental rights so the Guatemalan boy could be adopted by a family approved by the government. The Mealeys say they don’t know what became of the boy. “We hope he’s healing and getting what he needs,” Tom Mealey says.

New York authorities, they believed, were also pursuing legal action against the Easons. “We were told they were being investigated,” Tom Mealey says.

New York considers it a misdemeanor to transfer custody of a child across state lines without government involvement. The law applies to the parents on both sides of the transaction. The Easons were not charged.

State Police investigator Northrup says he was unaware of the law governing interstate child transfers until being contacted for this article. He says he grew frustrated by his inability to rein in the Easons. The experience left him with grave concerns about what could happen to children whose custody is transferred without the government’s knowledge.

“You’re going to have kids re-homed to pedophiles who will hold them down there in some cell,” Northrup says. “You’re opening these kids to human trafficking, sex trafficking and sex slavery.”

MOVING ON

In February 2011, the Easons left New York. They rented a Ford Focus and drove to Florida. Later that year, they moved to Tucson, Arizona. There, Calvin Eason was convicted of stealing the rental car and sentenced to three years of probation.

As part of the car-theft court proceedings, Calvin was required to fill out a form listing his dependents. On the document, dated December 2011, he listed two children by name: a 9-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son.

When Reuters visited the Eason home in May, there was no sign of the boy or girl. Nicole was driving a cab; Calvin was working the graveyard shift as a janitor for a local grocer. They had just moved into the house.

In interviews, the Easons discussed the children they had taken through re-homing. Nicole recited their names and talked about how much it means to be a parent. “It makes me feel important,” she explained. “I guess maybe that’s my psychological problem, you know.… It’s like, what would I be without them?”

More than most people – and certainly more than the U.S. government – the Easons understand the risks of the Internet child exchange: how children can be handed over without any oversight, and how easy it is for parents to deceive and be deceived.

“You want to know what’s wrong (in) the adoption world?” Nicole asked. “You don’t get information. You get lied to.”

In August, the Easons moved out of the house after failing to pay rent for two months; when the property manager went inside, he says he found five dogs there.

The Easons were staying a few miles away, at a Fairfield Inn. Outside the hotel, Nicole was asked if the couple would be taking in other children.

“Yes,” she said. “I have kids in my room.”


Where are they now?

The six children Nicole Eason obtained through the underground network:

• The 10-year-old boy Nicole and sex offender Randy Winslow took in a hotel parking lot is living with a family in Washington state. He just turned 18. He continues to have behavioral problems, his foster mother says.

• The 8-year-old girl whom bulletin-board moderator Megan Exon took from the Easons now lives with Exon and her husband in North Carolina; she’s 14 and in the 8th grade. The Exons are about to legally adopt her.

• Dmitri Stewart, the Russian adoptee, is now 20. He graduated from high school and is living with a friend in Georgia. He says he recently got out of treatment for substance abuse.

• Anna Barnes, 18, recently graduated from high school. She was admitted to Texas Tech University but doesn’t think she can afford to attend. She stays with friends and is looking for a place to live.

• Quita Puchalla, 21, also is without a place of her own. She lost her apartment outside Milwaukee this summer and is now in temporary housing. She is enrolled at the Milwaukee Area Technical College, where she plans to study social work.

• The 5-year-old Guatemalan boy the Easons took from Tom and Misty Mealey was made a ward of New York state. He’s now 9.”

Q and A

“Q&A: addressing abuses in private re-homings

By Megan Twohey and Zachary Goelman

The ability to transfer custody of an adopted child through the Internet presents new risks. Still, experts say there are systemic problems that make the practice possible, and ways the problems might be addressed.

Question: Aren’t there already laws to protect adopted children?
Answer: Yes. But there’s no uniform law governing adoption in the United States. Domestic adoption is regulated by state law, and the state laws vary. A federal law regulating international adoptions – the Intercountry Adoption Act – currently covers only kids from certain foreign countries. By July 2014, it will cover all international adoptions.

Q: Will expanding the Intercountry Adoption Act better protect international adoptees?
A: Not necessarily. Although some international adoptions are finalized in U.S. court, others aren’t. When adoptions are finalized in foreign courts, no third party is required to follow up on what happens after the child reaches America, says Victor Groza, an adoption expert at Case Western University.

Q: Are there other laws on the books that would help?
A: An agreement between states called the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) sets a uniform standard for how to handle custody transfers that cross state lines. But the agreement is relatively unknown among police. Some experts say officials need to be better educated about it. Others say its administrators need more funding to enforce the ICPC. “We don’t really have the means to investigate all of the practices that are going on around that country that may infringe upon the compact in one way or another,” says Harry Gilmore, a child welfare official in Oregon.

Q: Could anything more be done by the federal government?
A: Some child welfare officials recommend that Congress make the interstate agreement federal law. That would create standard penalties and enforcement.

Q: Is it legal to advertise a child?
A: State laws vary on how children available for adoption can be advertised and who can list them. That’s one reason some advocates call for a uniform federal law defining what constitutes advertising, who is allowed to do it, and what the penalties are for violating the law.

Q: What if an international adoption just doesn’t work? Are adoption agencies obliged to help?
A: Agencies aren’t required to assist struggling families after the adoption is finalized, and many don’t. Some experts argue that agencies should be held legally responsible for finding the child a new home when an adoption dissolves – though that would be a hard sell among the agencies, many of whom say they are already trying to give more follow-up help. “The best solution is that the original adoption agency would be responsible for handling the case at its own expense,” said Niels Hoogeveen, an advocate for adoptees. “That would really change things.”

Q: What more could states do to help parents?
A: Some parents who have used the Internet bulletin boards say they want a way to relinquish a dangerous child to the government if parents have demonstrated good-faith efforts to care for the child. They also want government assistance in preventing the adoption from failing in the first place. “I think states should, and I think they are, inching toward providing support services to all adoptive families,” says John Levesque, an adoption professional in Portland, Maine. “A lot of this doesn’t cost big money.”

Q: Do authorities monitor the bulletin boards where children are offered?
A: No government entity in the United States systematically scrutinizes the online bulletin boards. “I think the government should be monitoring that,” says Stephen Pennypacker, a child welfare official in Florida. Funding would be needed, however. “Who would do that and how are we gonna pay for that, and what’s gonna happen when you find that these placements are being made?”

Q: As things now stand, what could be done to stop dangerous people from obtaining children through Internet forums?
A: Many child-welfare authorities say licensed professionals should be involved in vetting prospective parents in these informal arrangements. “Nobody is checking out those homes. You don’t know who you’re dealing with on the other end of a … chat board,” says Pennypacker.”

Part 5

Orphaned in Russia, brought to America, and then abandoned time and again [Reuters 9/11/13 by Megan Twohey] says “Inga spent most of her childhood in a Russian orphanage, longing for parents who would protect her.

Her biological mother, a prostitute, had abandoned her when she was a baby. She never knew her father.

At the age of 12, her life was about to change. It was 1997, and an American couple was adopting her.

“My picture was, I’m gonna have family, I’m gonna go to school, I’m gonna have friends,” Inga says today.

Less than a year after bringing Inga home, her new parents, Priscilla and Neal Whatcott, gave up trying to raise her. They say the adoption agency never told them that Inga struggled to read or write, that she suffered from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, that she smoked.

The Whatcotts say they tried therapy and support groups. They even reached out to a Russian judge to undo the adoption.

When nothing worked, they turned to what Priscilla now calls “the underground network.” In an early example of adoptive parents using the Internet to seek a new home for an unwanted child, Inga was orphaned repeatedly.

In the next six months, the Whatcotts sent her to three different families. None wanted to keep her. In one home, Inga says she had sex with a sibling who then urinated on her. In another, she says the father molested her.

Sent to a Michigan psychiatric facility at the age of 13, Inga says she had sex again – this time with her therapist. Michael Patterson, the therapist, was acquitted of first degree criminal sexual conduct and remains a licensed social worker in Michigan. He says he “did not cross the line” physically with Inga and remembers her as “a very troubled child.”

On Patterson’s last point, no one disagrees. When Michigan institutionalized her, officials characterized Inga’s troubles this way: “substance abuse, domestic violence, separation from parents, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, attachment issue and mental health issues.”

To Inga, the situation seemed bleak: “My parents didn’t want me. Russia didn’t want me. I didn’t want to live.”

More than a decade ago, when foreign adoptions were booming, Priscilla Whatcott spoke out about her experience with her damaged Russian daughter and the perils faced by Americans who adopt from overseas. In Congressional testimony and media accounts, she couched the case as a consumer-rights issue: Adoption agencies, she warned, face no repercussions for failing to disclose pre-existing problems of children they place. Today, 16 years on, Whatcott still compares adopting Inga to buying “a pig in a poke” or being “sold a bill of goods.”

The story of Inga herself has never been publicly told. Now 27, she is one of the roughly quarter-million foreign children brought to this country through adoption since the late 1990s. Their fate in America has never been systematically examined.

A Reuters investigation has revealed how Americans who adopt from overseas can easily offload troubled children to virtual strangers they meet on the Internet. Through a practice called “private re-homing,” parents market their unwanted kids online and pass them along to others – quickly, often illegally, and almost always without consequence for the adults.

In a single Internet bulletin board examined for this series, a child was offered to strangers once a week, on average. Most of the children – 70 percent – were listed as foreign-born. They came from at least 23 foreign countries, including Russia, Ethiopia, China and Ukraine. (Yahoo took down the bulletin board in response to what Reuters found.)

Adoptive parents say they turn to Internet groups because they have no alternative. In an interview with the Associated Press in 2001, Priscilla Whatcott said life was so bad that she wondered whether Inga would simply be better off dead. “Some days I think that the very best answer is for God to take her,” she told the AP. “Release her and be done with it. There is no happy ending here.”

Whatcott’s solution was tougher liability laws. “Clearly, we would have avoided much of this heartache and tragedy if consumer protection laws pertaining to international adoption had been in place,” she wrote in testimony submitted to Congress in 1999.

Stephen Pennypacker, a child welfare official in Florida, says adoptive parents aren’t consumers and their troubled children can’t be treated like faulty products.

“Children don’t come with a warranty,” says Pennypacker, who wrote a 2011 memo warning state authorities to be on the lookout for Internet child swaps. “When you adopt a child, that’s your child. You have the same responsibility to raise that child as I had to raise my biological children, regardless of what their problems are.”

BREAKING POINT

In October 1997, when the Whatcotts arrived in Russia to adopt her, Inga says she didn’t know how to be a daughter. After the Whatcotts took her, she remembers hiding beneath a blanket on the train ride from the orphanage in St. Petersburg to Moscow.

The Whatcotts and their three younger children, two of them adopted from China, were living on the Marshall Islands at the time. Neal Whatcott, an engineer, worked as a government contractor there. Priscilla was a stay-at-home mother.

Only after meeting Inga did they learn that she was four years older than they had been told. She displayed emotional and behavioral problems that they say had not been disclosed by the adoption agency. The Whatcotts had no training to deal with the challenges Inga presented. Even so, they went ahead.

“When we got her home, it was a disaster,” Priscilla says.

Inga sometimes tried to sneak out a window. She would crouch in the back of her closet, refusing to come out. “I was hurting,” Inga says.

Once, Priscilla recalls, Inga set a fire in her bedroom. (Inga denies that).

Within a year, the Whatcotts reached their breaking point. A fight between Priscilla and Inga turned physical during a vacation in Hawaii. “She’s got to get out of this family,” Priscilla told her husband.

The California adoption agency that led them to Inga, Nightlight Christian Adoptions, suggested the Whatcotts enlist the help of a therapist who also had adopted a Russian girl.

The therapist took Inga into his California home. The two Russian girls grew close. Inga says she was grateful for the new friend who spoke her native language.

The arrangement was temporary, and the Whatcotts say the adoption agency wouldn’t provide additional help. Today, Nightlight says it “cannot discuss the specifics of any case.” In the years since the Whatcotts used the agency, it says, everyone involved in international adoptions has come to recognize “the need for post-adoption support.”

At the time, the Whatcotts turned to the Internet for that help, and Priscilla became active in a Yahoo group for families who had adopted children from Russia.

“There are a lot of these Yahoo groups,” Priscilla says. “Everyone is chatting about various challenges with their children. I expressed what was going on. People started saying talk to so-and-so.”

AN OFFER OF HELP

Soon Priscilla was on the phone with Mary Gayle Adams, an adoptive mother who sometimes offered to help parents find new homes for children. Reuters found numerous cases of freelance middlemen like Adams who assist parents with re-homing. Many are adoptive parents themselves. Some perform services, such as posting ads of available children, that under the laws of some states can only be handled by licensed professionals.

Pennsylvania, where Adams lived then and now, requires no such license to handle re-homings. Adams, 68, isn’t a licensed social worker. She’s a former elementary school teacher. Today, she says, she lives in a former school with 25 children she adopted, some who came through re-homing. She says she still finds time to volunteer as a go-between in re-homing cases, and sometimes reaches out to families through the online bulletin boards.

Adams says she doesn’t recall Inga, the Whatcotts or the families she recommended for them. But Priscilla Whatcott says the homes Adams identified were “in no way” approved by government authorities. When the government places children in foster homes, prospective families are vetted and a social worker examines their suitability as parents.

The first replacement family the Whatcotts found for Inga lived in Maryland. Inga remembers little about her stay, except that it lasted less than two months. The parents decided she was too difficult to handle.

As with the first family, the Whatcotts say they located the next two through Adams, the volunteer. “I kept calling her back,” Priscilla says of Adams. “She’d say: ‘I have another one.'”

The second family lived in Michigan. The parents routinely took in children and had adopted almost a dozen. The Whatcotts never met the family before sending Inga there. She wouldn’t stay long.

She stole liquor from the family and ran away from home, Inga says. She and the mother exchanged slaps across the face, and Inga says she was beaten up by some of the other children living there. She had sex with one of the boys, she says, and he urinated on her afterward. She had just turned 13; she doesn’t recall the boy’s age.

The mother says she never slapped Inga. She says she doesn’t believe Inga was beaten or had sex with the boy.

Months after Inga had left the house, court records show, the mother was found to be “neglectful” of one of the children there. Authorities also told the mother about “allegations of sexual abuse between the siblings,” court records show. Inga’s accusations weren’t mentioned.

When the Whatcotts refused to take Inga back, Adams helped locate a new family, also in Michigan. In her third re-homing since arriving in America, Inga joined a family of at least eight biological or adopted children.

The Whatcotts never met the parents before sending Inga to them, but Priscilla says the couple seemed nice over the phone.

Inga says the father was violent. He and his wife later divorced, and the estranged wife described his alleged behavior in a sheriff’s report filed after Inga had left the house.

“It was nothing for him to get angry at one of the older, adopted children, and grab them by their throats and press them up against the wall, and there were incidents where he actually left bruises on the necks of the children,” the ex-wife told authorities. The assaults continued, the ex-wife told police, even after she reported her husband to child protective services. The man and woman couldn’t be reached for comment.

The woman also told police that her former husband “had a problem” with pornography.

Inga says it went further. The man fondled her on several occasions and sexually assaulted her, she alleged in a subsequent police report. “He’d kick out the other children, watch porn with me and say, ‘I bet you can’t do that,'” she says today.

Inga told authorities about the alleged encounters, but says she feared the man and didn’t want the case pursued. Because she wouldn’t testify, the prosecutor dropped a criminal sexual conduct charge against him.

IN THERAPY

In March 1999, when no family would take her, Inga was taken into state custody. She was admitted to Fieldstone Center, a psychiatric hospital in Battle Creek, Michigan. There she met Patterson, the social worker who helped treat her. Patterson, 41 at the time, had recently joined the center as a therapist in its adolescent residential unit.

“I was really hurt inside,” Inga says. “Every night I’d cry hysterically.”

In June 2000, Fieldstone fired Patterson, and the state of Michigan’s Board of Social Work filed a complaint. It alleged that he had shown negligence in his dealings with two patients at Fieldstone. One of the patients was Inga.

The complaint alleged that Patterson had talked with a caseworker, Inga’s court-appointed attorney and Inga herself about a “possible plan for him to become her foster parent.”

The complaint says nothing about what Inga would allege to Fieldstone staff the next year, in August 2001: that she and Patterson had been having sex at the facility.

Patterson had sex with her more than a dozen times in 1999 and 2000, Inga told police. “She said that he promised that if she would have sex with him that he would adopt her and that he told her if she told anybody about their sexual relationship that he would not adopt her,” according to a report by the Battle Creek police.

Police also interviewed a patient who lived across the hall from Inga’s room. Inga’s door was partially open one day in April 2000, the patient said. That’s when the patient said she “saw Patterson kissing” Inga, the report says.

The police report states that Patterson had been fired by Fieldstone for “inappropriate conduct with patients.” Today, Inga says she told staff the details about her interactions with Patterson because she suspected he may have had sexual relationships with other patients. Citing patient privacy guidelines, a Fieldstone spokesman declined to comment.

In 2002, Patterson was charged by authorities in Calhoun County, Michigan, with criminal sexual conduct in connection with Inga. In testimony at preliminary hearings, Inga often seemed confused – about when and where the sex allegedly occurred, and by the English language, which she spoke poorly.

No translator was present in court. She testified that she was born in 1995, not 1985 – a misstatement that would have made the 17-year-old girl 7 at the time she was testifying. She also said she didn’t understand what “recollection” or “accurate” meant.

Patterson was acquitted. In his verdict, Judge Allen L. Garbrecht said Patterson showed “extremely poor judgment” by telling Inga he might seek custody of her. But as to the sex charges, Garbrecht said he was “not convinced that the prosecution has proven that element beyond a reasonable doubt.” The case, the judge noted, was essentially Inga’s word against Patterson’s.

State regulators in Michigan put Patterson on professional probation. He was required to complete 16 hours of “continuing education courses in ethics and boundary issues.”

Patterson says he never had any sexual contact with Inga. His acquittal vindicated him, he says, as did the actions by Michigan regulators.

“If the state thought I was a horrendous person, they wouldn’t have just given me probation,” Patterson says.

‘LIVED WITH FEAR’

When Inga was taken into state custody by Michigan in 1999, Calhoun County authorities accused the Whatcotts of neglect.

Now living in Washington state, the Whatcotts were refusing to pay the full cost of Inga’s care. They travelled to Michigan for one hearing in the case. Inga recalls that they took her to a restaurant where they told her she would not be coming home with them.

Priscilla says they withdrew money from their bank account and hid the cash under their bed so Michigan officials wouldn’t know they had it. Though they lived halfway across the country, they instructed their other children not to answer the door in case child welfare workers visited.

“The judge had a chip on his shoulder … and threw the book at us,” Priscilla says. “He said, ‘I’m not going to let people like you take kids into this country and then dump them into the system.’ … We lived with fear.”

In 2003, about four years after Inga was admitted to Fieldstone, the judge granted the Whatcotts’ request to essentially nullify their responsibility for Inga. They were ordered to pay $5,000 to the state and to help Inga become a naturalized U.S. citizen.

Shortly after, a judge appointed Inga a legal guardian, Jodi Farleigh.

Farleigh took legal responsibility for Inga as the girl transitioned out of Fieldstone and government-sanctioned foster homes.

“She took a place like my mom,” Inga says. “No matter how I behaved or stressed out, whatever, I had problems in my life, she’d always be at my side.”

FEAR OF FREEDOM

Because Inga had never attended school regularly, she didn’t know how to read or write in English. She struggled with violent outbursts, sexual promiscuity, substance abuse and suicidal thoughts.

“I get afraid of freedom,” Inga says. “I wasn’t ready for that.”

Farleigh pushed to get Inga more schooling and therapy. With the first consistent parent figure in her life, Inga says she started to improve.

“She has a heart of gold,” Farleigh says. “She had to learn how to love and trust.”

Sitting in a restaurant in Battle Creek recently, Inga said she often thinks it’s her fault that the Whatcotts sent her away.

“I let my parents down,” she said, tears slipping down her cheeks.

Farleigh grabbed Inga’s hand.

“You can’t look at it like that,” Farleigh told her. “You’ve got to look at it a different way, that you have a new family now.”

Inga has friends and sometimes goes on dates. An elderly couple at her church – she calls them grandma and grandpa – welcomes her for holidays.

She studies writing and math at the YMCA. She works part-time at a Burger King. She takes cooking classes and goes on camping trips. At a recent kickball game, she sent a ball flying into left field and darted for first base. “Go Inga!” her teammates screamed.

Although she hasn’t seen the Whatcotts in years, Inga still reaches out to Priscilla.

“She says, ‘Tell dad I love him. When are you going to come visit?'” Priscilla says. “I say, ‘That’s not possible right now.’ She has a fantasy about our family.”

Inga lives today with a roommate in government-assisted housing, where staff help with maintenance, medication and scheduling.

On a recent day at her apartment, posters of fairies adorned the bedroom walls. Her cat, Shian, a swirl of brown and gray fur, lounged on a chair. On her bed lay two ragged stuffed animals – a rabbit and a bear, the only items Inga kept from her childhood in Russia.

Atop her dresser stood a photo, framed. It was a picture of the Whatcotts.”

“A Chinese girl is moved to Tennessee, and ‘hell’ begins

By Megan Twohey

Almost a decade has passed since Nora Gateley was rescued from a house in Tennessee where she was once forced to dig her own grave.

The parents who adopted Nora from an orphanage in China left her at the house in 2001. “Hell started from there,” she says today.

Nora’s time at the Trenton, Tennessee, home of Tom and Debra Schmitz is detailed in court records later filed in the couple’s indictment on child-abuse charges: Her new mother struck her and many of the 17 other children living there. To punish Nora, who was disabled by polio as a child, Schmitz took away the leg brace that she needed to walk. She dragged her by the hair.

At age 26, Nora is speaking publicly for the first time about what happened after the parents who brought her to America gave her away. Her case is an early example of “private re-homing,” a term that refers to adoptive parents sending children they no longer want to other families. The Schmitz family later legally adopted her.

Patricia McLaughlin, the American mother who first adopted Nora, in China, declines to say how she and her husband found the Schmitzes. Other parents who placed children at the Schmitz home said they connected with the family through an Internet group that assisted in re-homing unwanted children. Such groups are part of a network of underground child exchanges that operates without any government oversight.

Abandoned at birth, Nora grew up in an orphanage in Guangdong, China. A pamphlet describing children up for adoption at the orphanage shows a picture of Nora as a toddler, one hand on a walker, peering at the camera. She wore her hair short and dressed as a boy, which she says was an unsuccessful effort to ward off sexual predators. “I never felt safe,” Nora recalls.

At 13, the McLaughlins found her. In 2000, they brought her to their home in Largo, Florida, where they were raising four other children. Her new mother home-schooled her.

Nora was learning a new language and living a better new life. She pedaled her bike along neighborhood streets and adored the Chinese food that Patricia made. But when one of her new sisters accused Nora of hitting her during a fight, she says, the relationship with her new family soured.

One night, Nora recalls, Patricia set her favorite dish on the table, beef and bok choy. Then she announced the meal would be Nora’s last with the family. Less than two years after bringing her to America, Patricia and Mike McLaughlin had decided to remove the teenager from their home.

Patricia McLaughlin won’t discuss Nora’s re-homing other than to say it was not safe for her to remain in their family. The McLaughlins didn’t involve child welfare officials.

“There are only drawbacks there,” McLaughlin says. “It was not an option for anybody’s good.”

On the drive from Florida to the Schmitz home in Tennessee, Nora counted cows out the window of the McLaughlins’ Toyota van. Patricia McLaughlin didn’t come along.

When they arrived, Mike McLaughlin introduced Nora to Tom and Debra Schmitz. Mike and Nora were both meeting the couple for the first time, Patricia says.

Not long after arriving, McLaughlin drove away. Nora hasn’t seen him or his wife since.

Tom Schmitz worked as a portable-toilet salesman; Debra was a stay-at-home mom. They already had 12 other children in their home, according to Debra.

The house sat far back from the road on a stretch of land in the country. Chickens, pigs, ducks, dogs and cats roamed the property.

Children were everywhere. Many had special needs. Some had been sent to the Schmitzes without the approval of child welfare officials, according to court records filed in the couple’s indictment.

A nurse who helped at the Schmitz house later told sheriff’s officers investigating the case that Debra Schmitz showed her an Internet group that listed adopted children who were no longer wanted. Schmitz told the woman that she could get a child through the website in three weeks without the involvement of any government officials, according to documents filed in the indictment against the Schmitzes.

Nora says she quickly realized that her new mother had a violent temper. A different nurse who helped care for the children, Sherry Dvorak, also saw it.

“She was angry and full of hate,” Dvorak says of Debra Schmitz.

Nora recalls that Schmitz mocked her after taking away her leg brace. “Go on, try to run away,” Schmitz would say. “No one cares about you.”

Dvorak says she learned details of the abuse in 2004. One night, Dvorak persuaded Debra to let her take Nora and another teenage girl to her house to sort through clothes in her attic. The moment the girls got in the car, they told her what was going on at home.

As one form of punishment, Debra made children dig holes in the yard for their own graves, the court records show.

“She said, ‘You die here and no one will know. No one will find you,'” Nora says today.

When Dvorak returned to the Schmitz house for work the next day, she slipped a tape recorder into the bathroom. Nora and the other girl took it into a bedroom and recounted the abuse. Dvorak later took the recording to the sheriff’s department. Their first search warrant sought, among other things, evidence of “swap, trades, or interchange of children.”

The Tennessee Department of Children’s Services was quoted at the time saying that seven of the 18 children removed from the home did not legally belong to the Schmitzes. The kids had come from families across the United States.

“Detectives said there were some children they could never figure out where they came from,” Dvorak says. Two years after, court records still referred to one child as Adam “whose last name is unknown.”

In July 2006, Debra Schmitz pleaded no contest to 14 counts of child abuse and one count of child trafficking, all misdemeanors. She was sentenced to six months in jail and placed on probation. The case against Tom Schmitz has been expunged.

Tom Schmitz couldn’t be reached for comment. Debra, who has divorced and now goes by the last name Hogan, says adoptive parents turned to her because she was known for caring for children with conditions such as reactive attachment disorder.

“They’d contact you privately and beg you to take them,” she says today. “The state frowned on this but they didn’t do anything about it.”

She says she never abused any child. The children were made to dig holes as punishment for lying, she says, and she would tell repeat offenders they were digging themselves deeper into their own grave. She says she never pulled Nora by her hair or withheld her leg brace, even though she pled no contest to those and the other charges. She says she thought entering the plea would help get the children back.

She didn’t get them back. Some returned to their previous families; Nora was among those placed in foster care. The McLaughlins didn’t want her returned. “We were horrified,” Patricia McLaughlin says, “but we were out of the picture.”

Almost 18 by then, Nora lived with the woman who rescued her, Dvorak, for nearly six months, and later lived for several years with a professor of hers from Jackson State Community College. She eventually took that family’s last name, Gateley.

At first, child welfare officials arranged reunions of children freed from the Schmitz home. Those eventually ended. Today, Nora lives with a roommate in Jackson, Tennessee, and works as a receptionist at a doctor’s office. She says she has lost touch with most of the children and often wonders what’s become of them.”

Four Responses By Industry to Series

I will have more to say about this soon. ALL of these people have known about Ranch for Kids and disruptions for a decade or more, so their faux outrage is disgusting.

Here are the links:

Adam Pertman of Donaldson Adoption Institute: http://adoptioninstitute.org/media/20130910_rehoming_release.php

Bethany Christian Services: http://blogs.christianpost.com/every-child/internet-child-exchange-lost-children-17866/

NACAC: http://www.icontact-archive.com/-muTXAz3b2HHCZWTlPomcUY3asOCkMq0?w=2

Adoption Attorneys: http://www.jsonline.com/news/opinion/dont-forget-the-successful-adoptions-b9996048z1-223382711.html

Kazakhstan Official Will Travel to US September 23

“Kazakhstan authorities promise to investigate the cases of “private re-homing” of adopted children from Kazakhstan in the United States, Chairwoman of the Committee for Protection of Children at the Kazakhstan Ministry of Education and Science Raisa Sher told Tengrinews.kz.

According to Raisa Sher, the Committee has made an inquiry with the Consular Service Department of Kazakhstan Foreign Affairs Ministry and the U.S. Embassy.

A U.S. State Department representative will arrive in Kazakhstan on September 23 to deal with adoption issues, she added.

“We will ask the questions during the meeting. We have not received any official report on the cases so far. And it is hard to say how credible the information (about the re-homing network) is. But we are following the situation and we will ask the U.S. State Department representative for the information that they have,” she said. [Good luck with that as they don’t keep data and do nothing with the data that has been sent to them.]

Earlier, Tengrinews.kz reported that Reuters discovered a ‘private re-homing’ network trading and exchanging adopted children in online communities in the United States. Adoptive parents posted ads to find new homes for the children they had adopted from countries like Russia, Kazakhstan and China, but no longer wanted. In most cases the reasons why they wanted to get rid of the children were related to various health or behavioral disorders.

The Reuters investigation has attracted attention of the American authorities.

There were several scandals that involved foreign adoption of Kazakhstan-born kids. The last known case was about two Kazakhstan-born orphan kids adopted from Kazakhstan that testified against their adoptive parents this summer. According to the victims, the parents sexually abused them. The jury trial froun the American couple guilty on over a dozen of the accusations.”

Kazakhstan authorities comment Reuters discovery of re-homing networks involving children from Kazakhstan

For more information see: http://en.tengrinews.kz/crime/Kazakhstan-authorities-comment-Reuters-discovery-of-re-homing-networks-involving-22595/
Use of the Tengrinews English materials must be accompanied by a hyperlink to en.Tengrinews.kz

[Tengri News 9/12/13]

REFORM Talk Must-Read Disruption Links:

Exclusive Interview with two people who have assisted re-homing: https://reformtalk.net/2011/01/19/adoptive-families-in-crisis/

Myth of Forever Family: https://reformtalk.net/2011/05/31/disruption-the-myth-of-the-forever-family-disabilities-and-lack-of-resources/   

Tuesday Term Disruption/Dissolution: https://reformtalk.net/2011/06/01/tuesday-terms-disruption-and-dissolution/

Two Disruption Discussions: https://reformtalk.net/2012/08/23/two-discussions-on-adoption-disruption/  Note that Nightlight sponsored this talk show from 2012

Arguments for government NOT to file for child support in foster care disruption NACAC:  https://reformtalk.net/2012/06/01/child-support-enforcement-in-disruptions/

Summaries of Disruption Survey October 2010 to December 2012:  First in March 2012. We had 121 cases at that point. The second look was shared in  July 2012  . We had 156 cases at that time. The third look in December 2012 had 171 cases. 171 unique cases in just over 2 years and those are NOT double-counted.

Additional  Disruption Information

2009 digital book -74 of 161 pages can be read at the following link: http://books.google.com/books?id=ds_9DAeprIEC&pg=PR11&lpg=PR11&dq=adoption+disruption+data&source=bl&ots=wllZ2nqJ0o&sig=xYMXw_40cR_CsRlLmeVqB48WLgY&hl=en&sa=X&ei=SNIxUp3zFdPS2wX6zICADw&ved=0CFwQ6AEwBjgK#v=onepage&q=adoption%20disruption%20data&f=false

May 2010: 53-page pdf  http://www.cehd.umn.edu/ssw/cascw/attributes/PDF/publications/AdoptionDissolutionReport.pdf

June 2012: 11 page pdf: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/s_disrup.pdf

August 2013: NCFA even published a piece on disruptions though they lowball the rate at 1-10% when other sources claim 10 to 25%: https://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/adoption-advocate-no-62.html

Ohio Law to report International disruptions: http://codes.ohio.gov/oac/5101:2-48-25

“5101:2-48-25 Inter-country adoption data collection.

(A) The following definitions apply to this rule:

(1) Inter-country adoption is a type of adoption in which an individual or couple becomes the legal and permanent parents of a child born in another country.

(2) A “disruption” is the interruption of a placement for adoption during the post-placement period.

(3) A “dissolution” is the termination of the adoptive parent’s parental rights after the adoption is finalized.

(B) A public children services agency (PCSA), private child placing agency (PCPA) and private non-custodial agency (PNA) shall complete a JFS 01670 “Inter-Country Adoption Data Collection” (rev. 1/2009) for each child who was adopted via inter-country and who entered foster care due to an adoptive placement disruption or an adoption dissolution.

(C) The PCSA, PCPA or PNA shall complete the JFS 01670 and submit it to the Ohio department of job and family services (ODJFS) within ten days after a disruption of a child’s adoption or ten days after the dissolution of an adoption.

(D) The PCSA, PCPA or PNA shall complete a JFS 01670 even if the child is already in foster care when the adoption dissolved.

(E) The PCSA, PCPA or PNA shall report a disruption even if the child’s plan is reunification with the prospective adoptive parent and the child’s stay in foster care is brief.

(F) The PCSA, PCPA or PNA shall not complete a JFS 01670 for a child who enters foster care after a finalized adoption if the adoptive parent’s legal rights to the child remain intac”

January 2013 California letter from DSS discussing reporting of International disruptions: http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/lettersnotices/entres/getinfo/acl/2012/12-51.pdf

Ohio Letter Discussing Disruptions and Where the Money attached to the child goes: link

2008 Article about Ranch For Kids: The final stop for disruptive adoptees [Los Angeles Times 1/20/08 by Bonnie Rubin/Chicago Tribune] says “At first glance, the children saddling up the horses look like they were cast by Hollywood to play wholesome, athletic all-American kids. But outward appearances don’t tell the whole story.

One has molested a sibling. Another has tried to kill the family pet. Lying, stealing, vandalism, fire-setting round out the list of transgressions.

Because their parents can no longer manage them at home, the 24 youngsters — almost all international adoptees — have ended up at the Ranch for Kids, a therapeutic boarding school in northwest Montana.

This is the final stop.

Most had already logged countless hours in psychiatric units, wilderness programs and residential treatment centers, searching for answers to their disturbing behaviors. The goal is that, through intense intervention and structure, their conduct will improve enough that they can go home.

But some will never return, moving on to new families. They are part of an expanding phenomenon known as adoption disruption — the official term for parents attempting to return their adoptive children.

“Some parents just can’t do it anymore; they’re done,” said Joyce Sterkel, who runs the Ranch for Kids. “It’s tragic . . . and everyone is a victim.”

No one appears to keep data on adoption disruption. Relinquishment is statistically rare among the 20,000 foreign-born children adopted by Americans each year, but experts say it is happening with increasing frequency.

One Ohio adoption agency reports receiving as many as five calls a day from parents about disruptions, up from just one or two a month a couple of years ago.

“No one knew the magnitude of the problem,” said Sterkel. “The horror stories just keep on coming.”

Though dissolutions of domestic adoptions are not unheard of — a decade-long study of 5,750 Illinois children adopted from foster care through the mid-1980s found a rate of 6.5% — it is among the international population where experts are seeing a troubling increase.

Experts blame the jump on several factors.

First, as Americans have adopted more children from overseas — the number has almost tripled since 1990 — the number with disturbing behavior has also grown. And these children are now hitting adolescence, when their rages are more dangerous.

Moreover, many parents were unprepared for the challenges. Sometimes agencies glossed over their charges’ complex medical histories — or omitted them altogether. “Now, they’re out there all alone . . . living in a constant state of crisis,” said therapist Amy Groessl of the Children’s Research Triangle in Chicago, which serves high-risk families.

Though some may have undertaken parenthood with unrealistic expectations, it seems more typical that they are deeply committed but ill-equipped to cope with profoundly damaged children. The youngsters may have fetal alcohol syndrome, mental illness, attachment disorders — perhaps all three — and can’t function in a family, though they show no outward signs of disability.

These kids are the victims of every kind of abuse you can imagine: sexual, physical, emotional,” said Sterkel. Adoptive parents receive no hint of or preparation for the difficult road ahead, she said. “They thought love was enough.”

So when the nuclear family melts down, parents must grapple with a heartbreaking choice: “Do we remove this child . . . or do we all go down?”

Sterkel, a nurse and mother of three grown biological children, knows the struggles personally and professionally.

In the early 1990s, she lived in Russia for two years as part of a humanitarian relief effort and saw threadbare orphanages. After Sterkel returned to the United States, she couldn’t shake the image of Katya, suffering from years of abandonment and neglect. She adopted the 10-year-old in 1996.

Then she learned of a Russian teen, Sasha, who first had been adopted — along with his three younger siblings — by a Colorado family. That arrangement quickly unraveled. Sasha moved on to a second household, also in Colorado, while his two sisters and his brother were split up and placed in several states. Soon after, Sasha tried to poison his new mother. Charged with felony assault, he was sent to juvenile detention.

“My new mother told me that I should forget [my siblings], but I couldn’t,” the 23-year-old said recently. “I went nuts.”

When Sterkel heard his story, she decided to rescue him. The adoption was finalized in 1999. Today, he helps out on the ranch, connecting with other hard-to-reach kids.

“I still have a lot of trust issues . . . especially with women,” said Sasha. “But life is a lot better now. Of all the families I’ve had, this one is the best.”

There would be one more son — Michael, now 20 — bringing the brood to six.

Meanwhile, word spread that this Montana woman, who speaks conversational Russian, and her husband, Harry Sutley, could offer a respite to parents in crisis.”

Update 3:

“Russia has launched a criminal investigation into the illegal trafficking of children adopted by US citizens, the Investigative Committee has revealed.

The Investigative Committee spokesperson Vladimir Markin said the case was started due to a journalistic investigation by Reuters and NBC initiated in September.

“According to investigators, illegal markets were created in the US on Yahoo and Facebook websites, on which illicit transactions concerning children adopted by US citizens were performed,” he said.

He added that, following the reports, the committee had checked the information and decided to open a criminal case on human trafficking involving minors.

“Thus, among others, transactions involving 26 underage Russian citizens were made and moreover, it was established that as the result of the deals some of them were sexually abused,” Markin said.

Despite the fact that the crimes were committed outside of Russia, they were directed against Russian citizens, Markin said, adding that the investigators intend to inspect the legality of the adoption of Russian children by American families. He also noted that the Investigative Committee pays special attention to protecting the rights and legitimate interests of the children against which crimes were committed, even outside Russia.

Moscow has informed Washington DC that it was launching the criminal investigation, RIA Novosti reported. Russia’s Foreign Ministry demanded that the US bring to justice the ones responsible for violating the rights of adopted children. Moscow said it was expecting to receive a prompt response from US authorities.

In September, a Reuters investigative report revealed that a loose internet network had developed in the US whereby dissatisfied adoptive parents had used social networks to advertise and often pass off unwanted children adopted abroad with next to no government scrutiny.

The agency analyzed 5,029 posts over a five-year period on one Internet message board, a Yahoo group. According to the report, one ad for moving adopted children to different families was placed per week. Most of the children, aged from 6 to 14 years old, had been adopted from abroad. Russia, along with Ukraine, China and Ethiopia featured prominently. The youngest child was an infant of 10 months.

Adam Pertman, executive director of the Donaldson Adoption Institute, told RT that moving children from one family to another without government supervision creates huge risks.

“So the risk when this is not being done right is that the child is not entering a better situation. And certainly it’s a legal matter again, whether that child is yours biologically or yours by adoption – however that child got into your family – we want legal processes in place so that the rights of those children are protected.”

The investigation found that some of the children who were adopted and subsequently moved to a different family had suffered abuse. One Russian girl who was rehoused said one boy urinated on her after the two had sex. She was 13 at the time of the incident and was moved to different families three times in six months.

Another adopted girl, from China, was sent to another family and forced to dig her own grave, Roelie Post, of the organization Against Child Trafficking, told RT.

The reason why the majority of children advertised on rehoming forums were foreign-born is because they do not fall under normal child protection measures.

“If you adopt a child from US Foster Care, I can imagine the US child protection service is still keeping eye on that and people know where to turn to. Children from foreign countries come from this what we call ‘the child market,’ it is commercial agencies who are dealing with providing children to adoptive parents and there is absolutely no oversight at all. Therefore, if parents are faced with problems, they also don’t know where to turn to,” she said.”

Russia launches criminal probe into online trafficking of adopted kids in US [Russia Today 12/5/13]

Update 4:“Amanda Alexander always wanted to adopt. In 2008, when her adoption agency sent a picture of a Russian girl who was available, Amanda fell in love.

The girl was almost 2, and the agency warned that she had a “developmental and speech delay.” Two years later, an American doctor also diagnosed the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome and severe attachment disorders.

Now 7 years old, Alexander says, the girl has attacked her mother and classmates and tried to cut out her tongue with scissors. In the last three years, she has been hospitalized nine times for psychiatric care.

The Alexanders sought help from schools, social workers and other parents. But they found there is little assistance available for parents of international adoptees, particularly when children have severe trauma and emotional problems.

Their situation reflects a quandary faced by adoptive parents across the United States. With high hopes and often at great expense, families have adopted needy boys and girls from orphanages overseas, only to realize after returning to America that the children have behavioral or psychiatric problems that hadn’t been diagnosed or disclosed.

Many parents are unprepared to handle the problems. Their adoption agencies often won’t help. And neither will the U.S. government. Amanda Alexander left a job in management to devote time to her daughter. The Alexanders travelled from Seattle to Virginia to meet specialists, amassed enormous medical bills and moved to a different state to get better care for her.

In September, a Reuters investigation revealed how some desperate parents have turned to Internet groups to seek new homes for children they regret adopting. The practice is called “re-homing,” and the online bulletin boards enable parents to advertise children and arrange custody transfers that bypass government oversight.

In response to the news agency’s findings, state and federal lawmakers are seeking measures aimed at stopping re-homing, and Russia and other nations are calling on the United States to account for what has become of international adoptees. Since the late 1990s, Americans have adopted about 243,000 children from other countries, but no authority tracks what happens after those children arrive in the United States.

The Alexanders say giving their daughter to a stranger they met online would have been unthinkable. “It’s not something that we would ever do,” Amanda Alexander says.

But for parents who hold onto a troubled international adoptee, the way ahead can be grueling. Reuters interviewed about two dozen families with troubled children adopted abroad. They described how their children molested siblings, tried to crash their cars, pulled knives on them, killed or tortured animals, or took weapons to school. Many of the parents did not want their names to be published, in part because they say they worry about stigmatizing their families.

Amanda Alexander, 34, decided to speak publicly. “It has been really hard,” she says. “It’s completely changed our lives in every way.”

‘LEAP OF FAITH’

In 2008, the Alexanders made three trips to Russia. There, eight doctors evaluated the parents-in-waiting to see if they would be fitting caretakers. The Russian physicians listened to their hearts with stethoscopes, inquired about drug and alcohol use, even asked about their greatest fears. The exam seemed somewhat staged to the Alexanders, who say the doctors asked them to pay $800 each for the service. They obliged.

The trips were required to complete the adoption. On each journey, the Alexanders learned a little more about the toddler they hoped to take home. On the second visit to Russia, they recall learning that the girl had a heart condition; on the third, they discovered she also had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

Amanda Alexander says she requested all of the girl’s Russian medical records but was told by the adoption agency, European Adoption Consultants, Inc. that she would receive them on the final trip to Russia. When she did get the records, they were in Russian and contained references to conditions including cerebral palsy and a heart issue that were not mentioned in the English paperwork that the Alexanders had initial

An attorney representing European Adoption Consultants, citing confidentiality agreements, said the agency could not comment on specific cases but that parents typically receive the full medical information from orphanages earlier in the adoption process.

After the family brought their daughter to her new home in Tennessee, the family took the girl for a battery of tests by American doctors. They discovered her heart condition was a benign murmur, and the cerebral palsy was mild. But the girl’s behavior was odd. She was hyperactive and would hit her head against her crib.

Doctors initially diagnosed her with ADHD. It would be another two years before Amanda learned that the girl had all the characteristics of fetal alcohol syndrome, along with child trauma and severe attachment disorders.

The Ohio-based adoption agency also offered no training and little information about the possibility of attachment issues, stating only that these were rare, the Alexanders say. Instead, the agency offered advice about travelling to the Moscow airport and how to declare money. The couple says they took it upon themselves to buy and read adoption and parenting books to prepare.

The executive director of European Adoption Consultants, Margaret Cole, said that training is part of the homestudy requirements, and the training includes “all the elements of parenting and adopting.” Cole did not respond to further requests to comment.

International standards recommend – and will soon require – that adoption agencies provide 10 hours of training for parents seeking to adopt overseas. That’s not nearly enough, parents and adoption experts say.

The Alexanders say they would have proceeded with the adoption if they had known more about their daughter’s eventual diagnoses, but would have prepared differently.

“I took a leap of faith and said, ‘I want her,’” Amanda Alexander says. “She was meant to be ours.””

“WEET BUT VIOLENT

When the girl was age 4, the Alexanders placed her in a pre-kindergarten program. She received private speech and language tutoring, but the school determined she was not eligible for a specialized program.

The girl was volatile. She could be sweet and spunky, then become physically destructive without warning. She attacked other students at school. Doctors prescribed medicine. Still, Amanda regularly received frantic calls at work about the girl’s behavior.

When the girl threatened to kill a classmate, her pediatrician recommended a psychiatric hospital. It would be the girl’s first of nine hospitalizations in the next three years.

With each psychiatric stay, the girl’s medications would be tweaked to stabilize her mood, with limited effect. Once, she hit her mother in the head, sending her to the emergency room. Amanda quit her job in management at a government-owned electric utility to stay with her.

After school, the girl would sometimes try to bolt in front of cars or sit screaming in the parking lot before Amanda could get her home. Medical records show the girl poked herself with safety pins, hit herself in the stomach, and spread feces on herself and on her bedroom walls. She told doctors that she saw big black monsters in her room, and giggled as she talked about it.

Throughout this, the Alexanders’ relationship with their adoption agency deteriorated.

At first, the family happily sent the agency pictures of their daughter, attended an adoption reunion, and spoke with waiting parents about their experience.

As the girl’s behavior became more difficult to manage, the agency’s social worker suggested the Alexanders wait for their daughter to adjust and recommended parenting books, Amanda says.

“It wasn’t that we were being impatient in waiting for her to adjust,” Alexander says. “We had read those books before we adopted. They hadn’t helped us.”

The Alexanders estimated they paid approximately $60,000 to adopt the girl, including travel to Russia and documentation expenses. Three years after the adoption was completed, the family asked the agency to help cover the girl’s medical expenses. The Alexanders say the agency’s director responded by offering to throw a bake sale.

European Adoption Consultants director Cole did not respond to requests for comment.

A lack of post-adoption support by adoption agencies is common, says Julie Beem, executive director of Attachment & Trauma Network Inc, a parent-led organization that supports families of traumatized children. “There is not a lot of post-adoptive follow-up that happens,” she says. “If there is, it’s passing a report to the sending countries. It’s often very formalized and perfunctory.”

One solution would be for the State Department to require accredited agencies to give families access to a mental health professional who is experienced at handling adoptions, says Kathleen Strottman, executive director of the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, a Washington-based non-profit.

ENORMOUS BILLS

By the time the Alexanders’ daughter was 6, she had gone through four schools. Her kindergarten teacher was afraid she would hurt other students. At home, the girl’s behavior strained the Alexanders’ marriage and their finances. Even with comprehensive private insurance, the family racked up almost $80,000 in 2011 alone in uncovered medical costs for the girl, Alexander says.

Last spring, a hospital discharged the girl from its psychiatric ward. The family was still in the parking lot when she told her parents she wanted to kill them with a knife. The hospital recommended that the Alexanders find the girl long-term psychiatric residential care.

In a letter outlining why the girl should be admitted to residential treatment, her therapist wrote, “In spite of all of the often insurmountable problems this family is experiencing, they continue to love [their daughter] and attempt to do what is best for her. This family is not living their life, they are merely existing.”

Residential treatment can cost upwards of $250,000 a year, an expense not typically covered by private insurance. In the foster-care system, which handles children born in the United States, adoptees are enrolled in Medicaid and often are awarded subsidies to help pay for treatments. Internationally adopted children usually aren’t covered by these safeguards.

“Families don’t know where to turn,” said Melanie Chung-Sherman, an adoption consultant in Texas. Child psychologists and counselors are abundant, she says, but it can be difficult to find specialists in adoption issues such as child trauma, fetal alcohol syndrome, and attachment disorders.

The Supporting Adoptive Families Act, proposed by U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), would boost assistance for adoptive families through training, counseling, and parent groups. States would be encouraged to beef up adoption support programs through existing funds.

In summer 2012, the Alexanders moved from Tennessee to Georgia. There, they applied for a special state program that allowed the Alexanders to bypass Medicaid income restrictions and enroll their daughter based on her disability. The program, called the Katie Beckett Waiver, is designed to allow families to provide home-based care for their disabled children.

The following year, they placed their daughter in a residential treatment facility near Atlanta for five months.

‘WORTH IT’

Since returning from treatment in November, the Alexanders say, the girl is calmer. She still rages when she comes home from school, but her behavior is more manageable.

The family also hired a lawyer to convince the school district to place their daughter in a specialized classroom. Amanda works two jobs from home to help ease the financial burden on the family.

This month, the Alexanders joined their daughter at a weeklong camp that specializes in helping children cope with attachment issues.

“She’s worth it. She is just a little girl. She didn’t ask for any of this,” says Amanda. “She has so much potential. She just needs to heal, so she can reach it.”’

Illinois family takes radical step to get care for son

“Within months of bringing him home, Sheila Trznadel knew that the boy she and her husband had adopted from Ukraine needed more help than her family could offer or afford.

The 7 year old was violent and never showed remorse. He switched on the gas oven in the Trznadels’ Darien, Illinois home. He hid matches in his room, stashed scissors under his bed, and told his parents he wanted to kill the family. One doctor who treated him said the child exhibited traits of a psychopath.

His parents had sought help from their adoption agency, social workers, and lawmakers, but they quickly realized their options were few. If they continued to raise the boy, they believed they were risking the safety of their other children. They also couldn’t afford the boy’s treatment.

As a consequence, the Trznadels took a drastic step: They left their son in a hospital and told Illinois officials they would not take him back until he received the care he needed.

The move is called a lockout, and it’s not without risk. Most states consider it a crime – either child abandonment or neglect. The Trznadels hired a lawyer and offered authorities evidence to support their decision, including a psychiatric evaluation of the boy.

“I want people to understand how serious these situations are,” says Sheila Trznadel, 37, whose son, now 10, is now a ward of the state. “It’s not his fault. He is an innocent child,” Trznadel says. “But the system is failing us, and it’s failing him.”

Over the last decade, 627 parents in Illinois have relinquished their children to obtain mental health services. In 2001, a report by the Government Accountability Office found about 3,700 children in 19 states entered the child welfare system within a single year.

Child welfare agencies say the system was not built to take children with severe mental health issues simply because the parents cannot afford to pay for such care. “We see this as a public policy issue,” says Karen Hawkins, a spokesperson for the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services. “It’s the lack of resources for community mental health funding for children. That is the context to which we’re all working.”

When the Trznadels adopted their son in 2011, they knew little about his past. At the orphanage, the boy behaved strangely. He was hyperactive and sometimes defecated in his pants. Workers there said he was simply nervous.

After returning to the United States, the Trznadels say they realized the boy’s problems were much more severe. He urinated on the furniture in their home and dumped paint into drawers of clothing. More than once, he told the family, “I’m gonna kill all you guys,” Sheila recalls. “We didn’t sleep. Someone was always awake to watch him.”

The boy was diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome. He told doctors that he endured abuse in the orphanage.

To help her son, Sheila searched the Internet, lobbied politicians, and took the boy to specialists for extensive psychological evaluations. He cycled through medications, including one that made him suicidal.

In 2012, Trznadels started sending him to a local hospital for short-term psychiatric care. “Our other kids were scared,” Sheila says. “We were trying to give him a good home, and in doing so, we were giving our other children a home in lockdown.”

For the Trznadels, costs swelled after the boy spent a month in a psychiatric hospital. Sheila works at a lab, and her husband, Doug, works for a chemical company. The hospital bill was $113,000, an amount they cannot afford.

The adoption agency the Trznadels used, Partners for Adoption, referred them to a social worker and suggested they seek help from the state of Illinois. The agency, which went out of business in 2012, wrote that it had not selected the child; instead, the family was offered the boy by orphanage officials in Ukraine.

In July 2012, the Trznadels left their son at the hospital, relinquishing custody to the state and forcing child welfare authorities to admit him into a residential treatment facility.

In a letter to the state’s Department of Children and Family Services, the psychiatrist wrote that “even at a young age, [the boy] displays hallmarks of psychopathy. He is unable to foresee the consequences of his action, he lacks guilt or remorse for any harm his actions might have caused.”

The psychiatrist also wrote that it may not be advisable for the Trznadels to keep the boy, “because of the potential harm he would do to his family.”

The state agreed to a “no-fault dependency,” meaning the child lacked proper medical care through no fault of the parent.

“The family has to fail before they get the support that they need. That’s the way the system is set up,” says Linda Spears, vice president of policy and public affairs at the Child Welfare League of America, a non-profit advocacy group.

Like other states, Illinois does have some resources available for adoptive families, but the programs are limited. Grants can defray the cost of some services for children with severe mental illnesses. But in fiscal year 2012, just 15 families received money from Illinois’ Individual Care Grants; almost 87 percent of completed applications were denied, according to the program’s annual report

In February, the Illinois legislature introduced a bill to allow the state to temporarily assume custody of kids for the purpose of accessing mental health treatment. The bill is directed at families with children who have a serious mental illness, emotional disturbance, or developmental disability and would prohibit the state from forcing families to terminate their parental right. A state House of Representatives’ committee is scheduled to hold a hearing on the bill today.

Child welfare workers are trying to transfer the boy out of the treatment facility and back into the Trznadel’s home or into foster care, Sheila says. The Trznadels don’t think he is ready, and a judge agreed, granting the boy another six months in residential treatment under the care of the state. The case will be re-evaluated in April.”

 

Parents struggle to get assistance after adopting from overseas[Reuters 3/26/14 by Robin Respaut]

Update 5:“An Arizona couple who used an underground online market for acquiring children has been charged with kidnapping two minors and transporting one across state lines with intent to engage in sexual activity.

The suspects, Nicole and Calvin Eason, came to authorities’ attention as a result of “The Child Exchange,” a Reuters series in 2013 that exposed how Americans were using Yahoo message boards, Facebook groups and other online sites to “re-home” unwanted children.

The stories showed how parents were privately transferring custody of their adopted children to strangers met on the Internet. The Easons had taken at least six boys and girls in this manner while lying about their identities, the series showed. Nicole Eason’s own two biological children had been permanently removed from her care earlier, police reports showed, after social workers concluded she had neglected one child and physically abused the other.

Following the series, the Federal Bureau of Investigation launched an investigation of the children re-homed to the Easons. In April, the Easons were arrested in Arizona and taken into federal custody on felony charges filed in Illinois. A federal grand jury in Illinois indicted the couple on the charges Wednesday.

Calvin Eason’s attorney declined to comment. Nicole Eason’s attorney could not be reached.

According to an April affidavit by an FBI agent, Nicole and Calvin Eason allegedly kidnapped two of the children, a boy and a girl, in 2007, and sexually abused the girl, who turned 8 while in their custody.

In both cases, the adoptive parents had given their child to the couple after connecting with Nicole Eason through a Yahoo message group, where people discussed adoption frustrations and sometimes arranged custody transfers. Yahoo removed such message boards in 2013, after Reuters brought them to the company’s attention.

An adoptive parent of the girl alleged that the Easons, living in Illinois at the time, presented themselves as a loving, stable family, dedicated to the well-being of children in their care, according to the affidavit. As part of the custody transfer, the Easons promised the parents to provide proof that social workers had signed off on the suitability of their home, but never did, the affidavit said.

The boy and girl were removed from the Eason home by another member of the Yahoo group, who had come to suspect the Easons could be dangerous. The girl disclosed the alleged sexual abuse in an FBI interview earlier this year, according to the affidavit. The boy told the FBI he was not abused.

No U.S. federal law specifically prohibits re-homing. State laws that restrict custody transfers of children rarely prescribe criminal sanctions and are frequently ignored.

Since the Reuters series appeared in late 2013, however, at least five states have passed new restrictions on advertising the availability of children, transferring custody, or both. Lawmakers in those states noted that the absence of government safeguards can result in children ending up in the care of abusers.”

‘Re-homing’ couple exposed by Reuters is indicted on kidnap charges[Reuters 5/8/15 by Megan Twohey]

Update 6:”A woman who used the Internet to take in unwanted adopted children faces years in prison after a federal jury convicted her Friday on charges of kidnapping and transporting a minor across state lines for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity.

The woman, Nicole Eason, 37, was charged after a 2013 Reuters investigation exposed an illicit network where parents offered children they no longer wanted to strangers they met online. Eason’s husband, Calvin, 46, pleaded guilty last month to the same charges.

Through a practice called private re-homing, the Easons had taken custody of at least six boys and girls from 2006 through 2009, lying about their identities to the children’s adoptive parents. Reuters found other examples of re-homing across the United States, with no government oversight and at great risk to children.

The news agency revealed that the Easons had created fictitious credentials. They never disclosed that Nicole Eason’s biological children had been permanently removed from their custody years earlier, after social workers concluded the couple had neglected one child and physically abused the other.

As a result of the Reuters investigation, federal authorities arrested the Easons in Arizona last spring. They were charged in U.S. District Court in Illinois with kidnapping two of the girls that they took in through re-homing – one in 2007 and the other in 2008. They also were charged with taking one of the girls across state lines with the intent to engage her in sexual activity.

The girl, who turned 8 while she was in the custody of the Easons, told authorities that both Calvin and Nicole molested and physically abused her. The other victim said she was expected to sleep next to a naked Nicole Eason but was not molested.

In both cases, the parents who transferred custody of the children to the Easons had connected with Nicole Eason through Yahoo groups. Parents used the online bulletin boards to discuss their difficulties caring for children they had adopted, and Reuters also found many cases in which parents sought to offload those children to strangers. During a five-year period, Reuters found that on a single Yahoo group, a child was advertised for re-homing on average once a week.

Yahoo removed the message boards after the news agency brought them to the company’s attention.

Living in Illinois at the time, the Easons presented themselves as a loving, stable family, dedicated to the well-being of children in their care. In reality, they had lost custody of both of their biological children. After authorities had removed their second child, a newborn, a sheriff’s deputy wrote in his report that the Easons “have severe psychiatric problems as well as violent tendencies.”

No U.S. federal law specifically prohibits re-homing, and Reuters found that state laws restricting custody transfers and advertising of children rarely prescribe criminal sanctions and are frequently ignored.

In response to the Reuters investigation, at least six states have passed new restrictions on advertising children, transferring custody, or both.”

Couple who used online network to take in children face years in prison [Reuters 12/18/15 by Megan Twohey]

“A federal jury deliberated for four hours over two days before finding a former Danville woman guilty Friday of kidnapping and then sexually abusing a 7-year-old girl.

Nicole Eason, 37, cried slightly when the verdicts were announced. She now faces at least 30 years behind bars when sentenced on two counts of kidnapping and one count of transporting a minor for the purpose of engaging in illegal sexual activity. Eason and her husband, Calvin, who pleaded guilty to the same counts previously, will be sentenced in March by Chief U.S. District Judge James Shadid.

The weeklong trial featured emotional testimony from the two girls involved. One was 7 in 2007 when her parents, desperate for help with what they thought was an out of control adopted child, sought out Nicole Eason, who would go online and offer “respite care” for beleaguered parents who needed a break.

The idea was to “rehome” the children and to help them through their issues while also helping the parents. However, the transfer of custody took place outside of the legal system with no oversight from state child welfare officials or adoption regulators.

Online, the parents met Nicole Eason, who went by the screen name “Big Momma” in a chat room. She allegedly promised to help the girl with home study and other counseling services in a nice, three-bedroom house. The parents drove across the country from California and left the child in Nicole Eason’s care in Danville.

The other girl was 13 in 2008 when her parents met with Nicole Eason in their home state of Texas.

Nicole Eason then flew back with her to Illinois where she, like the 7-year-old, found herself living in a dirty and rundown mobile home. The home had animal feces inside and the girls both testified they had slept at least once with a naked Nicole Eason.

Sexual abuse only was alleged for the 7-year-old, who spent about a month in the Easons’ care before a tipster called the police and another adoption activist whisked the girl out of Danville. The older girl spent four days with the Easons before her adoptive father came from Texas to retrieve her after receiving a similar tip.

Pornography also was prevalent in the home, prosecutors said.

The charges were unusual in that Nicole Eason’s form of kidnapping wasn’t done by force or by threats. Rather, it was by fraud or deception. The official term is to “inveigle,” and that’s what defense attorney Elisabeth Pollock seized upon during her closing arguments Wednesday. Her client might not be the best person in the world but she didn’t kidnap or molest the two children.

And Nicole Eason didn’t force the parents to hand over their children. They were going to do it no matter what, she told jurors. Nicole Eason was just the person who they found. Prosecutors, she said, were trying to fit the case into a box that didn’t fit.

Pollock admitted that her client had many unlikable traits and lied to the parents to make herself seem better. But it wasn’t to molest the children or to do anything illegal. Rather, it was because she wanted to be a good parent to the children. Yes, Nicole Eason had lost her two biological children to the state when they were infants. But she didn’t abuse the children.

But prosecutors Elham Peirson and Jennifer Leonardo pushed back hard during their closings, arguing Pollock’s theory put the onus on the parents. They might have made poor choices but those poor choices were because of information provided by Nicole Eason.

The cases were charged this past spring as the abuse to the younger girl only came to light last year when the woman who had taken her from the Easons’ home — and then later adopted her — found a diary entry about alleged abuse.”

Federal jury finds Danville woman guilty of kidnapping in ‘rehoming’ case [Journal Star 12/18/15 by Andy Kravetz]

25 Comments

  1. God have mercy.

    When will this holocaust against children end?

    How can anyone say that this is good?

  2. Absolutely. It’s beyond horrible. There are so many families that merrily brag about re-homing their (often newly adopted) kid in this manner. These terrible families, who promised to love and care for kids simply kick them to the curb – they deserve to be investigated (and prosecuted if laws have been violated – failing to seek medical care for a kid with a broken leg is neglect; sending a mentally ill away to a facility with NO doctors should be too!). I’ve posted many of these links before, but they’re so very relevant to this exposé:

    Professional parenting adopted kids from “hard places” Lisa Qualls (she works for Karyn Purvis, writes Empowered to Connect parenting books, gives paid lectures on raising traumatized adopted children) shipped her adopted daughter “Dimples” off to the ghastly, unlicensed Montana Ranch for Kids for “treatment”, despite the fact that there are no licensed staff (doctors, nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers) on site to treat her daughter’s mental illness:
    http://www.onethankfulmom.com/attachment-and-trauma/when-the-train-left-the-station/

    This mom shipped her adopted, mentally ill son off to an unlicensed facility (no doctors, no psychologists, etc) that is biblically based to be treated by a supernatural being: “They believe that they are not the ones to help these boys but it is the Holy Spirit working through the Word of God that will accomplish it. Rather than spending a year away from God in a faithless institution, J is going to be absolutely surrounded by the Word of God and strong men of faith. It will not be an easy place for him as they require complete obedience in everything, even down to the exact way each student’s bed is to be made”. Because what an ill kid needs is NO MEDICAL TREATMENT:
    http://lisa-overcomingmyself.blogspot.com/2012/12/crazy.html

    Laurel D adopted 3 kids from Ghana a few years back, disrupting one and shipping severely mentally ill Rachel (aka Little Miss”) off to a similarly unlicensed Ranch for “treatment” (sans licensed, accredited professionals):
    http://www.ourjourneyoffaith.net/2012/10/prayer.html

    • The outcomes for both rehoming and RTC placement are very poor. In my analysis there are two groups of people: the ones that learn about the true nature of the child’s issues way after the fact , there are few if any valid treatment options, so they decide among awful choices. These involve a sizable portion of disruptions in which the child is violent and the child has been with the family 1 to 10 years. The other group disrupts very quickly upon child’s arrival. These include the Savior adopters who purposefully do this and those that have not gotten over their infertility or have been approved to adopt but their spouse was never really on board. Much of the latter could be stopped if agencies acted ethically from the beginning and the former could be mitigated if services were available and states didn’t threaten abandonment prosecution. I am so glad that this issue has hit the national news. It is opening up a lot of people’s eyes. I expect that there will be facepalmtastic backlash from adoption industry executives very soon.

  3. Jesus wept.

  4. Meredith Cornish’s family both posts “free to a good home” ads for others and takes guardianship of soon-to-be disrupted kids:
    http://cornishadoptionjourney.blogspot.com/

    Simply washed her hands of her troubled adopted daughter:
    http://homeasoftplacetofall.blogspot.com/2012/12/soul-cancerthe-hands-and-hearts-behind.html

    Adopted 4 teens from Ukraine, only to disrupt 3 in less than a year, one after all of 35 days (!); all 3 re-homes via these dangerous guardianship-type agreements:
    http://followinghiscall.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/taken-hostage-or-testing-our-love/

  5. Christine provides “respite” via shady “guardianship” agreements, often to kids with FASDs. She also regularly posts “free to a good home” adverts on behalf of other adoptive parents wishing to quietly dump their adopted kiddos and runs of the not-yet-shut-down yahoo groups for folks hoping to shadily rid themselves of unwanted adopted kids, called Adoption Safe Place:

    http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/adoptionsafeplace/info

    http://smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/2013/05/urgent-respitedissolution-situation.html

    “Nic is not on any medications but has received weekly therapy with a RAD specialist counselor for 9 months and high level interaction and home therapy. Sadly, he is not making much progress. His current family is unable to keep him in the home due to the risk he poses to younger siblings in the home. Nic is currently in a respite situation that will terminate in three days due to sexual gestures and inappropriateness. Emergency care is needed. Ideally this would be long term care and adoptive placement.
    A monthly stipend would help with living expenses.”

    http://smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/2012/04/he-needs-family.html

    • Carlee,

      Is there any way to report this group’s existence to Yahoo, so they can shut it down like they did the other child trafficking sites Reuters found?

  6. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

    Indeed, I began a yahoo group called Adoption Safe Place where I thought families could come together privately to seek help and offer help. It was never intended to be a place to advertise kiddos for rehoming. Sadly, the group never took off, and has been inactive for months if not years. Would you like to join? Perhaps you could liven it up with your positive and helpful discussions.

    As to the kids I post about, it is only after I have corresponded with the family on numerous occasions. I ask many hard questions including asking the family to revaluate themselves and how they might be able to work on things before turning to rehoming their child. I literally get emails every week asking me for help, and only very few end up on my blog because the family either A) doesn’t bother to respond to my tough questions or B) they make the choice to keep on trying to improve the situation.

    There are a few families that I still talk with that originally came to me to disrupt, and are still hanging on with lots of ups and downs– three years later. I am torn as to if I am helping through encouragement or delaying the inevitable.

    One of my daughter’s previous familes who we legally adopted through state adoptions with a bonified homestudy along with fingerprints, home inspection, and SW visits contacted me three years before they actually dissolved the adoption. They tried very hard for those three years but ultimately couldn’t make it work. We adopted her, and now she is thriving– absolutely thriving.

    Question for you– Is it better that they tried for those three years, or would it have been better that she was placed with us three years ago to save the heartache?

    • It is generally advisable NOT to post “dog/cat, free to a good home” on, say, Craigslist or PetFinder… because, well, it’s a beacon for shady folks with less-than-admirable intentions. But it’s NOT inadvisable to post “kid, cute but troubled and really pretty here is a photo, free to a good home” on your blog, why, exactly?

      It is generally recognized that individual, one-on-one attention from a stable, loving, committed caregiver is absolutely critical to baby and child development. Little humans are hardwired to NEED it in order to GROW and develop, and the lack of individual attention is a HUGE part of why kids in orphanages/group homes/moved around various foster homes/etc don’t do so well.

      You have, 12, 14 kids? Many of who have special needs? How much one-on-one attention does each of your kids get per day? How does this compare to a good-ish, say, Ukrainian orphange with a 1:8 ratio?

    • I adopted internationally from Bulgaria, so my perspective is skewed towards international adoption. I’ve been around since 1999 in the EE adoption community and have seen and heard so many horrible things.

      Sadly, I understand WHY these groups were started – trust me – I know, having held hands with AParents who were lied to by their agencies and espeically the foreign entities the agencies dealt with.

      I know a woman who was able to adopt a girl successfully from adoption_disruption. Not all people who adopted a child from disruption were kid kollectors.

      The problem with the disruption lists boiled down to kid kollectors kid-shopping. And desperate AParents who had tried everything and were willing to do anything to get rid of the child. Kid kollectors offered an easy way out for them.

      Then there are the AParents with buyers remorse. Those whose child didn’t live up to their unrealistic expectations. Those Aparents are they ones I truly spit at.

      The elephant I see, maybe nobody else sees it, is the huge LIE machine of the international adoption industry. The LIES AParents were told about the children. The LIES they believed. The loss of interest, of concern, of help that the agencies gave parents when and if their adoptions were heading towards disruption.

      Once the checks were cashed and the kids were home, the Aparents were left to fend for themselves. For the millions of dollars the agencies made over the years, it’s a disgrace that it has boiled down to the wreck it has become.

    • oops. I forgot to sign my name.

    • Sad that none of you have bothered to answer my question. It is even sadder that the majority of this group fails to actually be part of the solution to a problem that they are so quick to expose.

      Yes, dissolving an adoption is not ideal, but we do not live in a perfect world. Yes, there are people who do not follow the law and dump, trade, rehome– whatever you want to call it– adopted children without any approval from an agency, SW, or judge. Yes, there are people who are quick to take in a child without the proper authorities knowing so they have no accountability. Yes this happens and yes it is not fair and of course the children are who suffer. But– not all people do this. I HAVE NEVER DONE THIS. Each and every time we have adopted through a dissolution we have had to contact an agency, pay a SW, and ultimately stand in front of a judge. I don’t know about other states, but the state I live in makes the homestudy process rather difficult. We have to have numerous visits with SWs, sign many disclosures and provide more proof that we are able to care, support, and raise the child than we have for any of our international adoptions.

      Look. I totally get where you guys are coming from. I do. If I wasn’t actually taking the time to get to know these struggling families, I too would be very quick to pass judgment on them. But– adoption is hard. You know that.

      Now if you’ll excuse me– I have to finish preparing for the IEP of one of my adopted children. The school is not providing all the services my child needs, and I have contacted an advocate to help me draft a few letters.

      Though you try so very hard to prove how bad us child collectors are– many of us really do care.

      • Christine, no one answers your strawman question, because we don’t fall for that crap here. You give two options as if those were the only ones.

        • So tell me about this third option.

          • Christine,

            Well, the first line of prevention would be if you explained to your fellow members of the Christian Adoption Community that there ISN’T any “Global Orphan Crisis”, so every Christian ISN’T obligated to adopt, let alone adopt multiple unrelated kids at once. There IS a Global Poverty Crisis, but not an “orphan crisis”.

            They can accomplish the goal of keeping kids in families by supporting economic development missions. They can also fund delivering aid to families as a unit, rather than by requiring parents to place children in orphanages before they’ll deign to provide said kids with food, medical care, and education.

            In EE, instead of fundraising for U.S. parents to pursue the expensive, time-consuming and corrupt process of IA, why not raise funds to pay for that child’s medical and educational needs in-country, whether adopted domestically or raised by the birthparents?

            Will there still be individual cases where international adoption is the best solution? Of course. And properly-screened PAPs who actually want to parent a child– rather than to prove how submissive they are to “God’s Will”– can adopt them. AFTER they’ve been through intensive training to let them know what to expect, of course. I’d love to have that training include web seminars by experienced APs like Christie Minich and Hope-Anne Dueck who can give PAPs realistic advice about what problems they’re likely to run into and how to work their way through it with their children! ;-D

            If the feeding frenzy drops off, a lot of the corrupt actors will leave the industry of their own accord and go looking for another way to make easy money. Meaningful adoption reform should be able to take care of the remaining scoundrels.

  7. Another dirty private agency secret that has not been made widely known is they will place a child who has undisclosed issues or is considered high risk with anyone with the means to pay for the adoption regardless of the preparedness or appropriateness of the family. When all hell breaks loose once home with the child and if the APs call the agency 99% of the time the agency will say, Oh, we won’t be able to find a new family for a child with THOSE issues. Yet this is the same agency that placed the child. Once there is medical/psychological documentation on the adoptive family’s end suddenly the child is unable to be placed. (The exception being those agencies who have rehomed children without disclosing what is known and collected fees a second time to unsuspecting families with disastrous results.) Once the checks are cleared and the new family is 100% legally responsible for the child agencies wash their hands of the children and their outcomes. No support, no resources and no services because those things cost agencies time and money that could be spent advertising to place more children. It has been a powder keg for horrific ends to placements and if you think government officials and adoption lobby orbs aren’t aware, think again. They just don’t care. Adoption is supposed to be happy, glossy and feel good even when it isn’t. They will pull out all of the stops to make sure they can recruit more adopters, but damned if they help them be successful or make sure children and families remain safe.

    And here we are.

    • Adam Pertman has started the adoption industry response and it isn’t pretty. http://adoptioninstitute.org/media/20130910_rehoming_release.php I will have more to say on this later this week, but for now, I want the community to see that he is FIRST emphasizing LAW ENFORCEMENT as the solution!Then he is deputizing adoption agencies to “investigate”.NOT help, but INVESTIGATE. Reminds me of the way WACAP “investigated” Torry Hansen and SUED and won.

      Though it is to be expected, this upsets me as the real need in postplacement is HELP for the child and family. Of course simultaneously, we need to reform the original placement policies so that only prepared, sane parents can take care of these internationally adopted children that ALL have special needs-at minimum there is cultural change, most often language change, integrating into a family when many have never lived in one, and then trying to get along with strangers.The pre and post adoption reforms address separate people at this point.With the half-assed quick special needs placements in today’s adoptionland, there is much more pain to come for these adoptees and now everyone has to worry about being arrested.

      • Interesting that 2/3 of Perlman’s statement refers to the supposed horrors of adoptees 1) easily finding birth families signaling the end of closed adoptions and 2) adoptees corresponding with their birth families without their adoptive parents knowing about it.

        • I think he is a fan of middlemen meddling in adults corresponding, preferably with the industry middlemen making some extra $$$ from it.

  8. If Adam gets his way I believe we will see more kids brought back to their birth countries and more abuse cases as families who can’t cope lose it. Another dirty secret agencies don’t speak openly about.

  9. IL DCFS again drops the ball.

  10. I spy Nightlight Christian adoption in the fifth part of the series concerning the adoption of Inga. Hmm? Weren’t they involved in Veronica Brown’s adoption too?

  11. I think this was mentioned on other posts, but in the last 15 years I have seen two groups of APs with some variation on either side. The first group recognizes their adopted child needs help and is out turning over every stone trying to find resources. They may make it or something happens, one parent develops cancer or the marriage breaks down, another child is injured in the home…some catalyst that warrants removal because the stress, fear and lack of options are simply too much. Without wraparound services it is difficult for these families to function. This group desperately needs post adoption support and services and it is shameful they do not receive them.

    The second group never attaches to their adopted child and they do not feel affection for them. The child may or may not have significant issues. Some abuse the children, most neglect them. It is the second group that needs to disrupt and I don’t care what anyone says about forever families. No child who has already lost at least their first parents should remain in a family that does not love them. It is far better to recognize the placement error and find a home where their needs will be met and with a parent(s) who cares. This second group could be weeded out with better vetting, better matching and delayed finalization of adoptions.

    Agencies are not putting children’s needs first by refusing to provide real support and by insisting a child should always remain in a bad placement because they want to hold onto their adoption is forever mantra. I know there are clueless egotistical PAPs out there, but maintain the actual placements are the responsibility of those doing the placing. And new placements when needed are their responsibility too.

    Adoption is not the same as giving birth. Saying it is pretends the child has no history prior to placement with an adoptive family and agencies have a responsibility to get things right. If they were doing their jobs responsibly we wouldn’t be reading horror stories like this one.

    .

  12. I think Christine is right. I’m an adoptee- my adoptive parents bought into – and were hoping for – the “as if born to…” Scenario.

    Although most adoptions likely go beautifully for all parties involved, I believe that we must acknowledge a couple of things.

    1. Every adoption begins with tragedy and possibly trauma. If a first mother is living, she has lost her child. A child has lost his- her mother, which is always (at the least) tragic on some level. Stress, trauma – to whatever degree- has the potential to alter brain chemistry and stress response.

    2. Although I believe the lion’s share of adoptions go well, adoptive families are not like “homegrown” families in more than one way. The literature is replete with adoptees more likely to have problems than their homegrown counterparts.

    Keeping that in mind – and the concern that some countries have for their citizens adopted in the US- why not mandate more SUPPORT for adoptive families?

    I believe there is evidence that many agencies are all about what’s in it for them. Even nonprofits are not immune to self- dealing. Lawyer board members represent the agency/birth mothers/parents. I smell rats.

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